Had To Turn Away An Old Friend Because . . .

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  • BigenFluffy
    BigenFluffy Posts: 57 Member
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    I totally understand! My high school reunion is in 2 weeks and I'm not going for the same reason.

    You can do this!
  • pholbert
    pholbert Posts: 575 Member
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    Honestly, eat less and move more. Whether it's walking, biking, dancing, boxing, weight lifting...whatever it is that gets your heart rate up and burns calories is going to be the "best" thing for you to do.
    ^^^^^^
    This
  • mzhokie
    mzhokie Posts: 349 Member
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    Just push yourself more each day. I use a pedometer to motivate me to move more. Set goals and once I found I was meeting those daily, upped them higher. I like numbers so things like number of calories, number of steps etc. motivate me to do more.

    I find that change is good. Find different routes to walk/run. Rent exercise DVD's to change it up or go to different classes. Get some exercise partners if you need motivation. See if there are opportunities at your local Y or community center vs joining a gym.

    Research your local parks for trails, hikes, etc. It doesn't seem like exercise when it's new scenery to take in.

    Get some upbeat tunes for your iPod. Record some guilty pleasures to watch while on the treadmill. I now look forward to the treadmill so I can catch up on shows my husband hates!

    I am not a fan of exercise but I do it now because I see how much that helps. I just had to find ways to enjoy it. I might break it up into 3 or 4 20 min walks some days vs one full hour. Take a walk on your lunch hour and eat at your desk when you get back. Get up 30 mins earlier in the morning and take your coffee with you. A stroll after dinner helps with digestion as well as burn calories.

    Now I need to take my own advice and apply it to bike riding. My husband got us bikes. My legs feel like rubber when I ride because it's so hilly around here. I had been proud of the fact I could walk up the hills much easier now than when I started. Now I know biking uses different muscles. I need to ride it some each day to get use to it. I just felt a little defeated because I thought it would be easier than it is for me. I did get a HRM so I can at least figure out how many calories I burn since the pedometer doesn't measure biking as well. I've just been making excuses.
  • Christine1110
    Christine1110 Posts: 1,786 Member
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    Eat your 1200 calories....of all healthy clean, fresh fruits , veggies, & lean high protein foods. Drink tons of water. Stay away from processed foods....it's hard but so worth it!! They are all full of calories, sugar & sodium.....nothing that will help you!! Try not to sit around....keep it moving walking, biking...what ever you like.

    The weight will come off
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
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    Oh, my experience says you've gotta just do it. One decision at a time and one day at a time. Try for small changes and consistency. Over time those changes develop and become new habits. See the guy before you miss an opportunity. While you've been aging ... So has he! :flowerforyou:
  • Latinalicious
    Latinalicious Posts: 21
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    I feel that you turning away your friend til your reach your goal would be wrong, losing weight needs to be about you and only you. If this person has taken time to play catch-up with you from way back-in-a-day than this person like who you are as a person not who they remember seeing. As of right now he also might have issues that you may not remember (illness, overweight, underweight, etc...)

    I myself have strayed away from family since the age of 16, which was 28 yrs ago; and thanks to facebook I have managed to reunite with half of my childhood cousins who remember me when I was a size 13. Just three yrs ago I started taking trips to see them in person, I have yet to have one of them look at me horrified on my size 18/20 body in disgussed, no "what happened??!!" or "what in the world are you doing to yourelf!!". I was greeted with love and kindness.

    But I will tell you now, after meeting a few of my beautiful cousins again I had to bring myself to lose weight because I wanted to be healthy like them, I am revisiting them in my new size 10 this year which they have seen pictures and have been so supportive to the point that they are proud of me and now they tell me I am their motivation to do better also.

    So, if this person is important to you and you see yourself with him in the future than you need to ask yourself "am I being truthful to myself??" or "will he ever find out??" once you reach your goal?

    Losing weight for yourself: FANTASTIC!!!
    Losing weight for someone else: FAIL....
  • kalkat
    kalkat Posts: 48
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    First of all, I totally understand.

    Second, omg you are georgeous!

    and Third, don't let life pass you by. Our friends like us because of who we are not what we look like... all of them. Otherwise they are not true and valuable friends.

    Lots of luck to you!
  • J_Fabulous
    J_Fabulous Posts: 63 Member
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    I would recommend the following:

    1) Eat more protein -- fish, chicken, pork
    2) Eat less starch -- breads, pasta, rice, potatoes
    3) Log all your food on this site
    4) Try to stay within your recommended calorie range
    5) Walk 30 minutes per day

    It's not easy and it is an uphill battle but the successes are worth the effort.
  • icrant
    icrant Posts: 41 Member
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    your story breaks my heart! Please don't degrade your self like this. If he is a true friend, and you two have gotten reaquainted over the past 2 years, he surely will see past what you feel are flaws. In fact, he should support you with reaching your goals. Living in a state of shame may make you lose amazing oportunities in your life. Live your life to it's fullest.

    Keep plucking away. You'll do great
    ^^^ This ^^^
  • HeyitsTia
    HeyitsTia Posts: 2
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    Learn to play tennis. In the beginning (when you are so terrible at it), you will spend most of your time laughing at yourself and your tennis partner. But you will be burning lots of calories trying to chase that ball.
  • OnlyICanDoIt
    OnlyICanDoIt Posts: 31 Member
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    If you want to lose it FAST, and by fast I mean 4 months or so...I would decrease your calorie intake and exercise.

    I was able to lose 40 pounds in that time period starving myself and exercising 3 hours a day 5 days a week, but I gotta tell you that most of it came back after I stopped exercising due to an injury.

    Do you want to do it the healthy way or the fast way? Your average weight loss should be 1/2 to 2 lbs per week.

    Personally, I would just tell him the truth and see what he says. He might not care! My husband was and still is a chubby chaser, so those guys exist!!
  • SwimTheButterfly
    SwimTheButterfly Posts: 265 Member
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    That is sad, that person obviously cared enough to seek you out. I can relate though. People gossip. You didn't want it to get around that you are fat and out of shape. You have a group of friends and everyone knows that often friends give updates to other friends about how OTHERS are doing. I guess I have found that sometimes people are kind and supportive when your life and health are going down the drain. Isolating yourself is not healthy.

    FEAR is a major handicap. I had to get over that tendency. You don't know what people are going to do or say before you experience it. Don't push people away. I am finding that gossip works both ways...as you lose weight and get stronger..you are going to want to share your success with people who seek you out and want to know you.

    People are always going to come and go in your life. If it is meant to be , perhaps you will connect with your friend again. Good stuff and good people are all around you. Focus on the future~as wise GlenBabe advised~your life is NOW. :flowerforyou:
  • Peschuntz
    Peschuntz Posts: 270 Member
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    I sincerely want to thank everyone for these thoughtful and caring responses. Not only did you give me some great ideas, but it was rewarding seeing all the weight that you lost and your thoughts. So easy to be self-critical, and as you know, we are typically harder on ourselves than anyone else is. Thank you again; I fell off of the wagon and this web site for a bit, and forgot how supportive members can be. Here's to your good health! :drinker: :heart: :flowerforyou:
  • leslturn8
    leslturn8 Posts: 505 Member
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    Hi, im like you! Just noone wants to meet me hahahahahhaha
    I invested in a product called P90X and i hope to do that, but i can tell you i lost 21 kilos from portioning my food which in majority is bad, i walked an hour every day and wellah!
    I think you should do a workout that works for you, 30 day shred bored me on day 3 and i started it 4 times......
    P90X is an awesome one but doing it will get boring 2-3-4 weeks as it repeats week one 4 times, but thats my issue i get bored and quit!:sad:
    Good luck!

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