Fear/Lack of confidence to succeed

angelam82

Does anyone else feel as though they have tried to loose the weight so many times before, but have bounced back or failed and are lacking the confidence that they can actually do it this time?

I have tried a few "diets" in the past - the shakes and bodytrim (for the Aussies) - its low carb/high protein. I have also done the calorie counting and feel off the wagon with it leading up to my wedding 4.5 years ago after some stressful family issues.

I am currently 88kg or 194lbs. I dont want to be super skinny, but I want to get down to 65kg-70kg. I am 5'3''.

My issues are that I work full time and study full time as well (i am studying Nursing as a DE student). Around stressful periods such as exam periods like now, I tend to become a recluse and dont go out due to stress. I have also found that I tend to fall apart when I dont plan meals, so I am trying to make an effort to plan dinners that can then carry over into lunches the next day (so i dont buy rubbish at work). I do have a gym membership as well and quite like my little local gym, but I havent been for 2 weeks due to exams (I have been coming straight home to study).

I also have a horrible addiction to chocolate, it has always been a huge issue for me. I am making it a goal for me each day not to eat chocolate. Which is currently hard with my husband sitting next to me eating chocolate coated sultanas!

Sorry for the rambling, I guess I am just looking to see if there are others with the same past/fears. How do you cope with it? I am frightened of failing again. My mother told me not to buy her a mothers day present and instead to spend the money on a 12 week program at the gym...I dont want to let her down.

laulamoo

Boy do I understand this!!

I'm working full time as a teacher and doing my honours year in Psychology online, so I know where you're coming from!

I have had a bit of a break from the gym and a kilo crept up (thanks very much sitting around to study for exams!). But it's going back down again and things will improve for you I know it.

I can say though that putting any additional pressure on yourself isn't necessary. You're doing wonderfully well considering all the stress that you're under and while it seems really hard at times, you are really loved and supported (even if it's partly by online strangers like me!) who know exactly what you're going through. if you want to talk, I'm always here as are the rest of MFP!!!

As for your chocolate addiction, which I share, I have anti ox dark chocolate from woolies, it has no sugar and is a nice substitute. I also go the skinny cow sundaes if I need a sugar hit! (might help!)

You're doing so well, don't give up and we're all here for you!

Pebble321

Yes, I can relate to your post - I could have written every word of it (except I started out a few kg heavier at 92kg).

The good news is - it's possible! I really didn't expect that this time would be any different - but MFP really clicked for me and nearly 18 months later I'm still here. Admittedly I've put a few kg back on - but I'm working on getting rid of those again, and I know I can do it.

I think the things that worked for me were
- being realistic. I started out with my goals set at "lose 1/2 pounds a week". This meant that I had a pretty decent amount of calories to eat, and adding exercise made it plenty. I still remember how surprised I was to be "dieting" but not feeling deprived!
- ignoring the feelings of "why even bother, everyone else has done so well but I never will, look at my ticker with 1kg lost and everyone else has lost 50 pounds". I decided that I was just going to eat healthy and see what happened. And what happenned is that with some patience (don't ask me where that come from!) I saw the little flower on my ticker move along too. It can happen, it just takes time.
- finding some exercise that I enjoyed. And if you had told me last year that I would enjoy running and was planning to run a 21km race, I would have laughed at you (and gone to eat some chocolate!).
- not giving up when I ate too much chocolate. I've had some TERRIBLE eating days in the last year and a half. But I've logged them (usually, though not always) and decided to accept that I can't change what is already done, but I can change what I do next.
- not panicking if I went out to dinner or had a family event - I either just eat in moderation - or eat whatever I want and go back to regular programming the next day.
- trying not to turn to eating in times of stress. My mum was in hospice care for three months before she passed away last year. That was an incredibly stressful time and I did eat more than I shoudl sometimes, but I've learnt that exercise is GREAT stress relief and great for my mood. I still kept logging even in the hard days - not perfectlly but I did what I could.

I can't say it's been easy - but I've done it, and I'm keeping on doing it. You can too.

Krazy_Kat

I eat chocolate. 4 squares a day. I know I can have it and I add it in to my calorie allowance. Actually some days I don't have it, but I like to know it's there

KrazyAsianNic

I know exactly how you feel. I've tried so many ways of losing weight and after a couple week, some event or occasion comes up where I fall off the wagon and it takes forever, months, to get back on. I also knew how it felt to be doing it in school. All I know is that sometimes taking a break from studying to walk around the block made a difference in my concentration. It helps take your mind off it for a few minutes and so when you go back to study, it's a fresh session.

angelam82

Thanks for the support Someone at work suggested i get some 70-80% cocoa chocolate and keep it in the fridge, so I might look at it.

I have less then a year of uni left, and will be so relieved when its all done!

As a general thing, dinners dont tend to worry me except when I dont organise something and we end up having pizza, thai or chicken shop take away!

Skinny cow sundai's...yummo. I do enjoy those. Maybe i should get some for the freezer.

I just want to be healthy, fit into my clothes (red jacket) and lingerie that my husband bought me a few years back.