Watching son make bad choices, not sure what to do.

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  • herowithinyou
    herowithinyou Posts: 17
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    Well, first Casper (and Marietta), I agree that it's probably tough love time as far as getting a job and getting off his *kitten*.

    I don't know your son's personality, so I don't know if what I say will work, so take it for what it's worth; but the best way, I have found, to pop the lightbulb on in someone's head is to sit down with them and ask them if THEY think they're eating healthy. If you can get them to agree that they aren't and then try to work with them to create a nutrition program, that makes them feel like it's (in part at least) their idea, and makes them more likely to follow through. One thing I would say is, definitely make sure they know the up side of becoming healthy. For a teen, telling them about preventing diabetes and heart disease has very little impact, as they feel invincible. A better approach would be to try to describe how (and I know this is shallow, but we're talking about teens here) fit, trim, and lean guys attract more girls. Explain that while personality may HOLD a relationship, very few people look at a dumpy, fat, slobby kid and thing "Hmm, I bet he's a REALLY nice guy, I should ask him out."

    dunno, hope this helps some.

    whoa, hold it buddy. If you're not careful, that approach could seriously piss him off, and make him think that you think that he's disgusting and that he can't attract girls (and what guy wants to hear that?). He might just go away from your little sit-down more angry than ever. Trust me, every teen knows the up side of being healthy already, if they've made it through high school. It's just getting the motivation to do it, and that's not really something you can force on him.

    However, Casper, you did mention that you made a special concession for him by giving him the bigger steak. Try not to do things like that. Or if you're going to serve french bread, maybe only put out the amount you think should be enough for all three of you. If you don't make the food available for him to overeat, then it's possible that he'll at least cut down a bit.
  • sandra400
    sandra400 Posts: 51 Member
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    probably he is bored, maybe invite him to exerecise with you on occasion and take him out of the house to do some hobby you both like.
  • barbarella
    barbarella Posts: 609 Member
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    This reminds me a bit of myself around that age ...... weight was not the issue, alcohol and not having a direction in life was. I moved back home after graduating from college and had no clue what to do next. So I partied & putzed around the house.

    No adult offered me any guidance.... at school or at home. I might have been too stubborn to listen anyway! But I believe I would have thought about, and possibly responded eventually to, some repetitive short bits of healthy advice about making healthy choices for myself.

    Best of luck to you Awesome Twosome! :flowerforyou: :love: :flowerforyou:

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