Skinny Stagette

thoshowski

I don't know if this should be in this message board or the chit chat and fun message board, but I wanted to see what you feel about the situation I am in.

A friend of my boyfriend's is getting married in September. His fiance and I get along real well. I would consider her a dear friend, but not a close friend if that makes sense. Her maid of honor hasn't met many of the bride's friends that live where the bride lives because the maid of honor lives 4 hours away. The bridal party has decided to have a stagette out of town near the mountains. We have to pay for hotel rooms, meals, alcohol. I can't afford to go for the whole weekend like everyone else, so I made up an excuse as to why I couldn't leave Friday night and told them I would meet them Saturday. I would spend the night on Saturday and come home Sunday morning. The maid of honor has been very accomodating to this, as there are three of us that feel the same way.

The thing that is bothering me is she just sent out a mass email saying the theme for Saturday night is coloured skinny jeans, and a black t-shirt. If I wear skinny jeans, I will look like an ice cream cone. I weigh over 200 lbs, while the rest of them max out at 160. They are all very active, one is spin bike instructor, and most of the others play volleyball 5 days a week. I am the only one who is over weight. Even the three new moms don't have lumps and bumps like I do, and would look good in skinny jeans.

My question to all of you is, should I suck it up, spend the extra money (on something I will never wear again), wear the skinny jeans be uncomfortable, but just smile on through to make the bride happy...or should I talk to the maid of honor and tell her I don't feel comfortable wearing skinny jeans but offer to try to find something else colorful?

The maid of honor has been very accomodating for me and I don't want to push it. I may just be a too nice of person, but I don't want to be uncomfortable either. I won't have fun on this trip if I have to wear skinny jeans the whole time.

I know this should be motivating to me and make me want to work harder at the weight loss, but really all it has done is make me want to go home and have some cookie dough and ice cream.

What do you all think?

thoshowski

Anyone have any advice?

LorinaLynn

First, I'd suggest trying some on. You might be surprised at how good the right fit can look with the right shirt and shoes. And don't be afraid (or demotivated) if you have to go up a size above what you normally wear.

But if you absolutely hate how they look... blue denim is still a color. :happy: You can tell the MOH honestly that you tried, but couldn't find a pair that fit right.

thoshowski

I was thinking of going out to look for them tonight. I just don't want to have to buy a $50 pair of skinny jeans that look decent on me, I know I will never wear again (my boyfriend and I think most...not all people look ridiculous in skinny jeans) after spending $100.00 on a room plus whatever we spend in the bar and what ever we have to spend for dinner or breakfast.

It won't hurt to try them on. Maybe I will find a decent pair for $20.00.

runs4zen

Why do people who are getting married do stuff like this to their wedding guests/attendees? It's so dumb. In this economy it's hard enough making ends meet and now you have to spend money on foolishness like weekends in cabins and matching jeans? Why can't people just have a night out of fun and call it good?

Okay, vent over. You can't afford it--and you're not alone. You don't like skinny jeans--they aren't for everyone. Here's what I would do: I'd tell my boyfriend "hey, I'm really fond of you but this whole wedding thing is out of hand. We can't afford for both of us to go. You go, I'll stay home" I mean, you don't even know these people and they're potentially costing you hundreds of dollars. Forget about it!

StarkLark

I've had similar situations in the past. Theme parties etc where it was very hard for me to look the part and still feel comfortable. And I definitely feel you on the $$ part - buying clothes that you know you won't wear again is a tough thing to do.

What I have done, and what I still do for themed evenings is go to your local thrift store! Salvation army, goodwill or a local mom and pop place have tons of clothes for cheap. You may not find what you need, but you may luck out and put together your entire outfit for $10.

The second thing I do is just tell myself that although I may not feel like I look good or even be slightly embarrassed about my outfit, the feeling of fitting in with the group and being part of the occasion definitely helps me overcome that. In part, my discomfort at my appearance is lessened by the fact that I managed to get into the spirit of things.

And speaking of getting into the spirit, my third recommendation is... have a few drinks! Whether or not they fit into your calorie goals is your call, but after a couple drinks with my friends, I feel way less self conscious about the ridiculous and sometime ill-fitting clothes I have on. Good luck!

thoshowski

Chocolate: I know exactly what you mean. I am not engaged yet, but hopefully sooner than later. I have told the girl who will, no matter what, be my MOH, the issue I have been having with this Stagette. I told her, that if she feels we need a weekend away for my Stagette, it will only be the bridal party that attends. I will not make others feel guilty they can't afford to come. Did I mention that this is the second idea for this stagette. The first was a week away on a house boat. Fat chance I am paying $1000.00 when my vacation time and money is so valuable. I really like the girls, but I would rather spend that week with my boyfriend on holidays with him.

Starklark: You made me giggle. I never thought of thrift stores. I will try them out. Hopefully I can find something cheap there. And you're right, after a few drinks, I won't care what I am wearing, but more who I am with.

Thanks everyone. I am starting to feel better about it. I will give the skinny jeans a chance but hopefully I can get a cost effective pair.

LorinaLynn

You might be able to substitute a pair of bright colored leggings, too. More comfortable, probably cheaper. Wear a long tunic-length tee and belt it. And you can wear them as pajamas or lounge-wear, or even for exercising, so they're not a one-time wear thing.

Cheri1218

It sounds like the MOH is still stuck in high school where she was used to telling all of her friends what to wear to be cool. It's time for her to get over it. If you decide to go against her request, I would bet you won't be the only one.
If you do want to look for the jeans, I am also a strong vote for thrift shops. If you have the time to sort through stuff, they usually have some great deals.

tamsinwhitfield

Agree with a few of the post above - anything can look good if you work it right! I'd suggest a belted tunic-style top that hits mid-thigh, in combination with flood length (7/8) skinnies, and maybe a delicate wedge (if you want comfort) or nude court (something to leg lengthen), nothing with an ankle strap. I'm a strong believer that anything can look great - try some different combinations, and there's a good chance you'll find you like it! Also, for colour - if you want to go bright but not "unwearably bright", I'd suggest a marine blue or coral shade?

EDIT: Something along these lines - http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=f21&Category=btms_jeans&ProductID=2000045188&VariantID=

Cheap, bright, flattering length, could wear again!

EDIT (again): http://www.forever21.com/Product/Product.aspx?BR=plus&Category=faith_denim&ProductID=2062097300&VariantID=

Not sure what size you're looking for (so apologies if I'm inadvertently shopping in the wrong section!), but these also aren't at all bad - plus the colours are more desaturated while still falling into what I'd class as "bright" (would look at Magenta or Royal). Good if you want to play it a bit safer, and again, something that's possible to wear again.

Sorry if this is annoying - will stop shopping online on your behalf now, just indulging my love of finding clothes on the Internet!

ZugTheMegasaurus

You could try finding colored denim in a different cut; it seems unlikely that anyone would notice or care.

txlissa62

Roaman's has some skinny, stretchy denim leggings in various colors. The price varies according to size, but here's a tip: do a Google search on "Roamans coupon code" and you can usually find coupons for 30% or 40% off an item. Here's a link:

http://www.roamans.com/clothing/Stretch-Straight-Leg-Leggings-by-Denim-247.aspx?PfId=104343&DeptId=24702&ProductTypeId=1&StyleNo=0311

Woman Within also has some more traditional (button/zip) skinny jeans, made with a bit of stretchy material. I'll bet they're more comfortable than conventional skinny jeans. You can usually find coupon codes for them as well. Here's a link:

http://www.womanwithin.com/clothing/Jeans-skinny-stretch-tapered-5-pocket-style.aspx?PfId=237775&DeptId=19252&ProductTypeId=1&PurchaseType=G&pref=ps

I would probably go with the leggings with a tunic, though. More comfy and a better chance for a better fit.

scsuval

Old Navy Diva Cut jeans, they come in different colors and make EVERY single body type look like they have an amazing *kitten*. Best part? They run big, so you can (typically) even get a size smaller than you normally do.

sullykat

I love that you said you'd look like an ice cream cone! I used to say that ALL the time about myself. I can relate, sister! I agree with others, I doubt skinny jeans are an absolute necessity for this theme. Wear pants you are comfortable and confident wearing, go along with the black top theme, and have fun!

sweetsarahj

Honestly if you wear some other style of pants that suit you better, as long as it fits the color scheme, I bet no one will care

Good luck!

Cindylou321

Old Navy Diva Cut jeans, they come in different colors and make EVERY single body type look like they have an amazing *kitten*. Best part? They run big, so you can (typically) even get a size smaller than you normally do.

Really cause I have no *kitten* at all!!!! I am so going there ....

harleygaljojo

If you still have a couple of months before you need them I would wait as long as possible to make the purchase. I'm sure by then you will have lost some more and feel a little more comfortable. Also, they make regular jeans in colors I would just find some
that I feel confortable in and purchase them. Good luck with what ever you decide. I know how weddings can be, when my children were little my brother got married and some of the things we were ask to do go a little on the rediculous side because we did not have the money for all the extras thaqt were expected