MFP Friends Who Never Log On!

betteringmyselfeachday
betteringmyselfeachday Posts: 99
in Motivation and Support
I have many friends on my list who never log on, some for as many 15+ days. I want to continue to support these people who obviously need some motivation. However, at what point do you give up trying? What point do you delete them as friends!

Just curious! I don't want to be mean. I want to support people. However, they must start with themselves first.

Replies

  • Discoveri
    Discoveri Posts: 435 Member
    I would send them a message before you delete them. That way if they have lost their motivation, they would maybe realize that someone on MFP supports them and hopes they get back to logging.
  • jessiesunshine
    jessiesunshine Posts: 48
    I usually wait for them to be a month gone.. because once I deleted someone after a week, then she sent me a message and thanked me for inspiring her so much and she was gonna try again.. so i felt guilty.. I agree with ^^^ tho. Write them a message first.. if they dont come back.. wait til they are a month away. I think that might be my new rule anyway. :)
  • dward2011
    dward2011 Posts: 416 Member
    after 5 days, i sent a private message. i only have 3 folks right now that are hit and miss.... at some point i figure i will be sending them a message.
  • michaelgilstrap
    michaelgilstrap Posts: 74 Member
    Discover, that's a beautiful sentiment.

    For me it's different for everybody, most of the time, though, if they're not on, there are no posts or updates from them, so there is not much effort required in having them on my list. If it's been a month or more, and we never really connected than maybe I'll delete them, but some I've found after sending them a message, have some things going on, sometimes, serious, sometimes not, but they tell me the do get on when they can and see what I'm up to and their other friends and draw strength and support from that, even though I can't see it.
  • april_beth
    april_beth Posts: 616 Member
    and the point of the day here...is?

    delete em and find ones that log on...who cares what people arent doing?! *sigh*
  • 75Juniper
    75Juniper Posts: 376
    I don't have a huge friend list, but I would never delete any because of inactivity. Them not logging on isn't affecting how I can support my more active friends, so they aren't hurting anything by being on my list. And if they ever decide to come back, they'll at least have one friend waiting for them.
  • jaxbeck
    jaxbeck Posts: 537 Member
    I just delete 'em
  • amysj303
    amysj303 Posts: 5,086 Member
    I wait a month them remove them. Sometimes, if it was someone I got to know I will write on their profile that they can look me up when they come back if they want to.
  • dsjohndrow
    dsjohndrow Posts: 1,820 Member
    I never delete anyone - a few have come back and I was their only friend. I don't chase them either.
  • Monstertrel
    Monstertrel Posts: 33 Member
    The question is, what's it hurting keeping them on your friends list? I'm not saying don't remove them (i've done a spring cleaning on facebook a number of times). But mostly it's when both they and i haven't really reached out like we used to. I vote, keep em on... they might just be out of town and will log in later (much later)... smile.
  • tashjs21
    tashjs21 Posts: 4,584 Member
    I usually go in every now and then and delete someone that has not logged in in over 6 months. Pretty safe to say they have given up.

    I've had people delete me if I didn't log in for a few days. Most recently my wedding and honeymoon. Sorry, I was not logging in while I was living it up in Hawaii.

    Do what is right for you but also realize that some people have things that pop up and may not be able to achieve the 500 days in a row log in streak. If you think it is someone that is honestly giving it a go, then check in on them before hitting the delete button.:drinker:
  • betteringmyselfeachday
    betteringmyselfeachday Posts: 99
    Thank you All! :)
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  • ninakir88
    ninakir88 Posts: 292 Member
    Meh,
    I was in the hospital for 2 weeks at one point so I couldn't log in obviously.. I had several of people delete me from their list because of it even though I posted a few statuses about being sick.
    you just never know what that person is going through.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
    I wait for a month or so to delete them (unless they have something going on in their lives or have been my friends for years).
    Also...
    If they are someone who "collects friends" or expects to be supported by everyone but almost never gives back...well, I hide them for a few weeks. If things don't change, deleted. Same with "Debbie Downers"...haha

    Its not being catty, its just support goes both ways. Everyone deserves that :)
  • kgprice11
    kgprice11 Posts: 749 Member
    I can only log on during the week because I do not have a smart phone but I have an ipod I use. I do not have internet at my house (wifi) therefore I log in at work. Sorry I dont pay a $100+ data bill every month
  • sharleengc
    sharleengc Posts: 792 Member
    I remove people when they hit a month without logging in. I figure that up until a month, they could be on vacation or have stuff going on that keeps them away but longer than that, they don't seem to come back and I find it frustrating to see "so and so has not logged in in 2 months"
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,243 Member
    I don't have a huge friend list, but I would never delete any because of inactivity. Them not logging on isn't affecting how I can support my more active friends, so they aren't hurting anything by being on my list. And if they ever decide to come back, they'll at least have one friend waiting for them.

    :smile:
  • bigdal77
    bigdal77 Posts: 69
    I don't have a huge friend list, but I would never delete any because of inactivity. Them not logging on isn't affecting how I can support my more active friends, so they aren't hurting anything by being on my list. And if they ever decide to come back, they'll at least have one friend waiting for them.

    well said thats what i do isnt hurting me or them and when they do pop on im here to say how you doing
  • Rockinkisschik
    Rockinkisschik Posts: 2
    I have had times myself where I haven't logged in for awhile either because I've been busy or fallen off my healthy habit band wagon for awhile & I don't want to report or see even for my own sake what damage I have done to the progress I was making. i.e. recently 2 bridal showers in a row a wedding & then a weeks vacation in Cuba. Sometimes it gets too hard to try & report every little finger food or snack at these things so I just don't bother. when I come back I'll weigh in & start from there. who knows what is going on in an individuals life at any given time. It really should not affect you or your progress either way if they log in or not, but, if you find it that much of a personal irritation to see their lack of commitment. Just delete them and focus on reaching your goals. we all strive for success at our own pace. ;)
  • HauteP1nk
    HauteP1nk Posts: 2,139 Member
    After a certain amount of time absence I delete people - unless of course I know the reason for their absence (like a trip or something).
  • venusinprogress
    venusinprogress Posts: 31 Member
    You can add me! I need support and motivation to lose 4stone before my 50th in Jan 2012. I know it is doable, I'm not seeking the impossible,. In the last 3 weeks since i've been with MFP i've lost 8lbs. I am absolutley shocked that I have stuck to my daily cals, burning cals and logging in each day. It is the support I've been getting from reading some of your posts. Keep it up and I can promise you that I will reply or message you if you continue to inspire me. Thanks to everyone on here.
  • fatchiick
    fatchiick Posts: 105
    Who gives a sht. How many post are we gonna have about this subject in one week?

    Some of the people on my list haven't logged in... I skip it just like everything else on my feed that is just an update or a happenstance.

    I'm sorry I just don't get the anal behavior of not wanting to see an update on your feed or trolling your friends list for people who haven't logged on. Makes me think youre here to get comments and cit chat and if someone isn't here to help u.. ideally chit chat they need to be removed. Smh
  • jojo52610
    jojo52610 Posts: 692 Member
    I was sick, then my daughter almost died in a car accident so I didn't log on for a while stuff happens
  • SerinaK
    SerinaK Posts: 87
    I just delete them and continue supporting the ones that do follow the same path I do. Sometimes life calls for more attention than MFP. If the person is gone longer than 2 weeks, I delete them.
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    I find the status part confusing. I have a few people on my list that I do not get feeds from. I have messaged them, with no response. Yet, when I check my friends list, some have logged on. Does this mean they have restricted their news feeds? I haven't deleted them, but I find it odd they just don't show any feeds or anything or respond to messages.
  • Discoveri
    Discoveri Posts: 435 Member
    I find the status part confusing. I have a few people on my list that I do not get feeds from. I have messaged them, with no response. Yet, when I check my friends list, some have logged on. Does this mean they have restricted their news feeds? I haven't deleted them, but I find it odd they just don't show any feeds or anything or respond to messages.

    I've restricted stuff from my news feed but it is a personal preference (the only thing I show is when I've lost weight and what exercise I did for the day).
  • Lauren8239
    Lauren8239 Posts: 1,039 Member
    I find the status part confusing. I have a few people on my list that I do not get feeds from. I have messaged them, with no response. Yet, when I check my friends list, some have logged on. Does this mean they have restricted their news feeds? I haven't deleted them, but I find it odd they just don't show any feeds or anything or respond to messages.

    I've restricted stuff from my news feed but it is a personal preference (the only thing I show is when I've lost weight and what exercise I did for the day).
    \



    I think that's why I'm confused. Everything used to show for them.......then suddenly poof, nothing. Could that mean they deleted me but still show on my friends list?
  • MissJamiie
    MissJamiie Posts: 56 Member
    I delete but with a msg :) cause you never why they are not logging in!

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