Significant Other not on board?

shaydon80

I have been relatively successful at this weight loss game having lost almost 90lbs in the last 18 months or so but my husband seems to be headed in the opposite direction. He has FINALLY admitted to being a food addict. At 6'4" and 342lbs something needs to be done about his weight! It's not healthy and frankly it's getting to a point where I'm not sure if I'm still attracted to him. It's irritating to watch him lie on the couch and stuff his face all weekend when I work so hard to be healthy and active. My hobbies revolve around getting out and being active with our two kids but he just doesn't have the motivation or energy to keep up with me anymore.
I know that I'm the one who has changed lifestyles but how can I get him on board for his health and for our family?

PunkyRachel

If you figure something out let me know! I have the same problem with my man. When he is not at work, he has his pepsi and his snacks (funyon's, Doritos, cheezits, etc.) plays his online games or ps3. He doesn't exercise or try to stay in shape, it's frustrating. For the 1st time since we've been together (10 years) I'm skinnier than he is now. My husband is 5'4 and not sure his weight, but he wears 38 pants

annttvldz

Same here :-/ He don't want to get in board with me. He doesn't really snack too much and use to just drink diet Pepsi or unsweetened tea which isn't bad but he drinks a whole 6 pack a day! I say use to because he lost his wedding ring somewhere in our house and I told him I wouldn't but any more pop til he found it. So he hasn't had one for awhile now.


He's diabetic so I know exercising will help him lose his spare tire (his arms and legs are extremely skinny). He's 6'2 and 235 so he's not majorly over weight but can stand to lose some weight. I just wish I could get him to do any exercise with me.

Maybe one day he'll get involved

ashshields12

Same problem here, you cant preach and make them do it though... they have to want to do it...! If you find the answer let me know

Serenstar75

Mine is all on board, but I also control what food is in the house. I cook most of the meals. We're pretty well broke, but we don't generally have chips around or any kind of random junk. I now have him eating baby carrots instead of chips most of the time.

Just as for us, no one could make us do it. We had to want it. I find honesty is the best. Tell him you're worried and why. I'd even consider talking to him about sexual attraction, though I know that would hurt me enough it might be discouraging rather than helpful. I know we're MORE attracted and more into each other since I'm -happier- due to what I'm doing. He can also guest with me at the gym so we're wanting to do that. No one can make him do it. He has to want to do it. Same as for quitting smoking or any other bad habits. We have to show them just how happy we are with how we're improving.

corgisncollies

I guess I'm lucky... my husband realizes that he's gained weight and he's hard on himself for it. His problem is that he inherited his dad's metabolism and can't seem to get the weight off. If he eats the amount of calories that it says he should, he gains weight. So he eats less and maintains his weight, but he can't seem to lose. We both need to get back to using the treadmill. He understands that eating healthier makes him feel better, but he just gets so discouraged.

When I first started trying to lose weight, several years ago, he totally was not on board and had cookies and chips and fast food in the house. I honestly don't know what made him realize he was gaining weight and decide to make changes.

Pebble321

You just can't make him do it until he is ready.
My best suggestion is that you cook heablthy food, lead a healthy lifestyle and hope that he joins in at some stage.
Talking to him about it (which he will proably construe as nagging, no matter how subtle you think you are!) is probably not going to help.

rolloffat

same here too!! He is not interested in doing anything and tries to put me off, also keeps trying to get me to eat wrong stuff too!!

Gestahl

I was 6'3" and 339 when my wife asked to create a profile on here for me, and she told me she was going to try to log what I ate. She didn't think I'd actually cooperate with and sort of diet-centric weight loss, she just wanted to track things. I'm not the sort to deny a reasonable request such as that, so I consented. I was curious myself, and I had one close friend on MFP as well, but I hate the thought of trying to restrict my life with numbers... I hated Weight Watchers for that reason, regardless of how easy it was. But suddenly, at the forefront of my mind grew an irritating realization that I would be trying to dictate my daily calories to her every night... I was annoyed by that. I resented it. So I commandeered my account from her to save the trouble and told her that I'd log my own food... and then I proceeded to lose over 30lbs in the next two months. She's kind of shocked.

Not sure how his mind works, but I can tell you that did it for me. You could try asking if you could create an account for him as well, and see where that goes.

Good luck!

mipanda

aw I don't know what I would do if my partner wasn't on board. He tells me to get off my bum and go to the gym when I try to make up an excuse and bail.

Can you maybe control what food is in the house? I think you should have the right to force some changes when its got to the point of being a health concern.