Is Jealousy Keeping Me Fat....?

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Diary_Queen
Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
in Motivation and Support
I often wonder just how much stress hormones I'm carrying around most days. I see people making such massive progress, people's progress pics that show so much improvement, people restarting and resetting their tickers. Lately, I feel so jealous of these people. Of course, I'm motivated... but it's only the same amount of motivation I had last week and last month. Everything feels 'old hat'. My weight loss feels stagnant. Well, honestly, it IS stagnant. I haven't lost hardly any weight in nearly 6 months. Perhaps I miss the kudos. I know that I'm extraordinarily jealous of the people I see that have always been naturally slimmer than I am. I do love myself, but I get tired of seeing the same old thing in the mirror. What will I do to change that you ask? I don't know. I'll do something.... but I do have this sneaking suspicion that my jealousy of others and my comparison of myself to others is another stress that isn't needed. I wish I felt differently some days. But in all honesty, every day, I look through the Success Stories and compare myself to people who have lost more weight than I have. It's an ugly truth, but it's true. I may lose some MFP friends over this post, but this is an emotion that bugs me and I want it out there. I've lost 86 lbs. in 17 months. Everyone congratulates me on that and I'm not very proud of it. I think I could have done better. People want to say 'oh, give yourself a break...it's not a marathon....it will take time'. I don't want a break. I don't want to cut myself some slack. I want to push harder than I think I'm capable of pushing. I want to hit my goal weight in the next couple of years, not in 10 years. Being this heavy feels like I'm holding myself in a prison and I WANT OUT! So, yes, I'm that girl... the one that sneers at herself in the mirror and thinks that nothing looks right on her changing body. I'm the girl that sees success posts about 100 lbs. lost and beats herself up emotionally for not being able to post the same thing. I'm the girl that is damn well tired of being this freakin FAT.

Sometimes I drive my own self crazy.
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Replies

  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
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    I think it's natural for people to be a little jealous (even a lot jealous) over other peoples progress, but you have to remember that you are YOU and they aren't. You have accomplished so much in your own way and to compare yourself to the efforts of others is unfair to everyone involved.

    I personally don't think I'm ever going to see anything other than a fat girl when I look at myself in the mirror, but I'm starting to like myself more, and that's one thing I'm glad about throughout this journey.
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
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    I always say that getting healthy is 30% diet and exercise and 70% MINDSET.

    This is why I started blogging so much and I love that feature on MFP.

    I write about these feelings, and try to address them individually and see how I can proactively change my thought processes to be more productive and less self-destructive.

    It's super common and a lot of times people don't realize how much their mindset plays into the whole getting-healthy thing.

    You want to get your BODY healthy, but in order to do that your MIND has to be healthy too. Your opinion of yourself... all that.
  • HeatherLeahxx
    HeatherLeahxx Posts: 156 Member
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    bump
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
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    Sounds like you are in a funk. We all get there from time to time. I have been at this for almost three months now. I constantly look for results more than what I see on the scale. We all criticize ourselves and look at others sometimes envying what they have done. Remember they had a journey and that journey was tough. A lot of the success stories I read on here have taken over a year. These people worked hard and experienced highs and lows. The important thing is that they kept at it. So please keep at it. Use these stories for motivation and one day you will post your own.
  • noogie98
    noogie98 Posts: 413 Member
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    I feel the same way ~ wow! It's like you got inside my head & pulled out my deepest, darkest thoughts!
  • BlueInkDot
    BlueInkDot Posts: 702 Member
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    Whoa, holy crap you've lost 86 lbs???

    That's nothing to shrug at. That's an amazing accomplishment. Don't downplay your success, gurl. :)
  • jennifer52484
    jennifer52484 Posts: 888 Member
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    Your weight loss is phenomenal. Just think of how far you've come. There is no reason to compare yourself to someone else. Everyone has different goals they want to meet and obstacles they run into. Be proud of you because you've accomplished what so many wish they could!
  • FatToFit12
    FatToFit12 Posts: 66 Member
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    I lose weight slower than others also. I recently upped my calories and it seems to be helping, Ive already lost two pounds this week. Maybe you could try that. I don't really have any advice except maybe you could hire a nutrionalist or a trainer that can push you harder than you push yourself. I'm sorry you feel that way, I wish I was more help.
  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
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    I hope that opening up and getting this feeling off your chest will help alleviate some of the stress that it causes you.
  • JaySpice
    JaySpice Posts: 326 Member
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    :ohwell:

    Not sure what you what us to say? I just peeked at your diary. Seems okay. I quite sure someone will come in here and pick apart...add more veggies and fruits...cut this and that. Maybe change up the exercise you are doing.
  • BzeGyal
    BzeGyal Posts: 22 Member
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    I do think that you are too hard on yourself. The way I see it you're only 14lbs away from posting your 100lbs success story ;-). Thats a lot closer than me and a lot of people on here. You have done extremely well and I know for sure you will loose over 100lbs if you keep at it.
  • Sarahrachael82
    Sarahrachael82 Posts: 19 Member
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    I think we all compare, and it isn't a stress that we need. I find that when I am able to get off my *kitten* and walk or really work myself out I feel GREAT because I know my body is changing!! There is no way that it isnt. I haven't been on a scale in two week, but I don't care because I did Weight Watchers and that scale did nothing but tear me down most of the time... like one giant rollercoaster. I find that my clothes are fitting looser, i feel stronger... and that is all that counts. It hurts when you see people droppin four or even two pounds, but don't fret..... because you will too, just keep at it!!! WHen I did weight watchers and spoke up about the scale... an older lady who had lost over 130 pounds said to me "My body did the same thing every other week and the weeks the scale didn't budge... I lost inches". Its true. Sometimes measuring is better than looking at a number on the scale. People can't see your numbers, but they can see the inches lost. Don't forget that. ;)
  • MissyMissy18
    MissyMissy18 Posts: 315 Member
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    Kudos to you for being honest about your feelings even when they aren't the prettiest. It's definitely not bad or unusual to feel this way, so don't beat yourself up for it. Acknowledge your emotions, let them out to run around in the yard for a while, accept them, then carry on!

    I often feel the same way, and when I do I try to remind myself of these things:
    1. comparing myself to others is an uphill battle. it's very difficult not to, but it's pointless and self destructive.
    2. I've come a LONG way and worked very hard. I may not be where I want to be yet, but that doesn't mean I can't be proud of what I've accomplished. Being proud doesn't mean I'm giving up on my ultimate goals.
    3. I will get there. There is no other option.

    If you want to be your own drill seargent and push yourself harder than you thought possible, then go for it! There's nothing stoppng you. Just be nice to yourself in the process. :)
  • DelilahCat0212
    DelilahCat0212 Posts: 282 Member
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    I feel the same way ~ wow! It's like you got inside my head & pulled out my deepest, darkest thoughts!

    Me too. When you have such large amounts to lose, it's just...overwhelming sometimes.
  • Curvimami
    Curvimami Posts: 1,853 Member
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    I feel that way all the time. But i try to stay positive, because I would hate to give up now and then look back a year from now and ask myself where would I be if I had stayed on this path 40 50lbs lighter instead of the same or worse gained. Stay positive and keep pushing. Eating right and exercise can only make you better, I know you want it faster, but your body IS changing whether you see/believe it or not. You havent given up yet, and that already shows how strong you are. SO, Keep up the great work,!!! 86lbs down is awesome, cant wait til I can say I have lost even half that amount. :flowerforyou:
  • montana_girl
    montana_girl Posts: 1,403 Member
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    I was the same way... It took me 6 years to lose 100 pounds. I would sit in the Weight Watchers meeting and see people being recognized for their weight loss, reaching their goal, and achieving Lifetime status. And a lot of times, I would sit in the back row with tears in my eyes wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn't lose weight. That I didn't have the same drive and motivation others had. It was so hard. But I had made a promise to myself when I started that this time I would not quit. And even though during that 6 years I gained weight, lost, gained, lost... eventually the losses were more than the gains I got the weight off.

    It's not easy. And it's very hard when you are surrounded by people who are losing weight and getting to goal.

    But please, please, please keep plugging away at this. And know in your heart that you will someday be the person that motivates and inspires (and causes jealousy) for someone.

    Big {{HUGS}} to you for being so frank and honest with your emotions. :flowerforyou:
  • bozzalozza
    bozzalozza Posts: 39 Member
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    I was the same way... It took me 6 years to lose 100 pounds. I would sit in the Weight Watchers meeting and see people being recognized for their weight loss, reaching their goal, and achieving Lifetime status. And a lot of times, I would sit in the back row with tears in my eyes wondering what was wrong with me that I couldn't lose weight. That I didn't have the same drive and motivation others had. It was so hard. But I had made a promise to myself when I started that this time I would not quit. And even though during that 6 years I gained weight, lost, gained, lost... eventually the losses were more than the gains I got the weight off.

    It's not easy. And it's very hard when you are surrounded by people who are losing weight and getting to goal.

    But please, please, please keep plugging away at this. And know in your heart that you will someday be the person that motivates and inspires (and causes jealousy) for someone.

    Big {{HUGS}} to you for being so frank and honest with your emotions. :flowerforyou:

    Well said...
  • Diary_Queen
    Diary_Queen Posts: 1,314 Member
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    I'm so glad there are women out there that understand this feeling. I don't like feeling this way, but for now, it's how I feel. Like others, I see people lose weight just by cutting out soda or eating out less often and it gets to me. Some days I feel like I work twice as hard for half the results.

    For those that don't exactly understand but are still supportive, thank you very much too!

    I'm a type-A personality:
    Type A Personality Characteristics & Behaviour

    The Type A is an ordinary normal person operating at maximum possible speed. Type A wants to achieve a big goal but thinks that time is very limited and as a result develops the following behavior:

    •Exaggerated Sense of time urgency: Since the type A thinks that time is running out and since set goals are too big Type A always races with time.

    •Competitiveness: The type A is a very competitive person; considers everything to be a challenge. Type A is very disappointed if goals are not met and they don't 'out do' competitors, even if they are competing against themselves.

    •Multitasking: The type A can handle more tasks at the same time than ordinary people . You can easily know that a person is Type A if you found Tyep A involved in at least five unrelated activities while performing well at them all.

    •The Price for Over Achievement: Over achievement does not come for free. Type A’s are subject to tremendous amounts of stress. Their life style is the main cause of this stress they suffer from (always running, having lots of things to do & racing with time)
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
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    I think it's perfectly natural to be jealous at some points in your life. Not going to lie, when I see people who are in excellent physical shape on here, I get a little jealous too.

    My only saving grace is that I know I go out and give it 100% everyday. Some people have a certain genetic disposition that disallows them to have the perfect model like body. I've come to the conclusion that no matter how hard I work out, I'll never have <10% body fat, it's just not in the cards for me.

    However, I know I give it my all just about everyday, so I can sleep at night and not have any regret.
  • Christina_3192
    Christina_3192 Posts: 150 Member
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    I know that feeling.

    I get so envious of others weight loss. The scale hasn't moved as fast, or a far as I've been wanting.

    Sometimes I get frustrated because I feel like I am doing everything right, but no progress is happening.

    I had thought that I would have met my goal by now, but I'm only half way there.

    I look in the mirror and frown because I'm not seeing the changes I desperately want to see.

    But one thing I do to help push my jealously and negativity away is remind myself that my pulse has gone down, my tummy never gets upset anymore from eating well, and I do feel healthier, and that patience (something I need to remember) is a virtue and to try not to punch patience in the face. lol

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