My Story
LKLDALLAS
Posts: 19
So, in 2008 I had exploded to 185 lbs on my 4 ft 11 frame. I was very unhappy, sick, sad, and had a bad attitude that repelled people who might otherwise have been friends. However, I had not always been that way ...
Here is a pic of me at 185 lbs:
I graduated HS in 1998 at around 100 lbs (size 1 jeans) and steadily put on pounds every year for the next decade, putting on most of the weight in 2007 and 2008 while in an unhappy relationship that ended abruptly. Ultimately I put on 85 lbs - just 15 lbs shy of doubling my entire body weight! ... I found my self being dumped by my boyfriend of four years (really he was doing me a favor), squeezing into a size 16, WAY in over my head financially with an expensive corner loft in a fancy high rise, and a BMW lease, alone in the big city, and not happy with myself at all! Adding to my misery was the fact that I was left holding the financial bag from the four year relationship (read: deep in debt and can't pay the rent) and had to let family help me pay the bills just to keep a roof over my head. This meant accepting help from and answering to my overly critical (but life saving) grandmother. She had lots to say about my weight and my finances... I didn't want to hear it, but I had to listen. Beggars can't be choosers. I wasn't in control of or on top of anything and I could not even see the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt completely hopeless, broke, and fat.
I needed an overhaul - health, finances, attitude, life in general - but I did not know how to even start. Post break up, I spent a good year or more so overwhelmed by everything that was wrong, that the only thing I could do was party! If I was partying with my friends and drinking (on grandma's dime), I didn't have to think about what I was going to do with my future and where this crazy train was headed. I didn't have to "figure out" what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Eventually I got tired of the stress that comes along with being the party girl and I longed to be the successful girl! I was growing more and more embarrassed that, in my 30s, I was having to rely heavily on my grandparents to even make rent. I felt like a burden. I was ready to make them proud and start feeling some pride in myself again.
So, that's when I decided to do something else... I happened to watch a few documentaries such as Food, Inc, Forks over Knives, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, and they really inspired me. I made a list of goals - all the things I had wanted to do in life, all the things that I had let slide while I was partying, and all the things I DREAMED of doing and being. I imagined my ideal life - what I would look like if I could. What my home would look like. How I might dress if I were not limited by my size. I enlisted an accountabilabuddy, Scarlit. Scarlit and I communicated daily (and still do) about our goals and how to achieve them. We report daily on our successes or failures and how to do better. We share information we come across. Slowly, I started to knock goals out one at a time, and it started feeling good ... I had to start small and write down/celebrate each and every victory. Get an eye exam and glasses - CHECK! - needed to do that for over a year! Get the dog back on his insurance (I had let it slide while I was partying) and get his teeth cleaned and get him back on heart worm preventative. Start working out, organize my home, start eating healthy! I had all these little "worries" in my head, "Man, I haven't taken Taylor (my dog) to the vet in a while, what if I finally take him and he has heart worms?" So, every time the dog would cough I'd have some anxiety associated with him dying of heart worm disease or having to pay $300 to treat him for heart worms. All this was a direct result to my letting the little things slide by without taking care of them. His heart worm preventative shot is only $30 twice a year, but because I was partying so much, I had let it get by me a few times...but really I had been letting things "slide by" my whole life when it comes to my health! Once I started taking care of all these little "loose ends" my anxiety level went way down and I was able to focus more of my energy on the next goal. Crossing these little worries off my list and experiencing those tiny feelings of accomplishment had an accumulative effect. By the way, Taylor is back on his insurance, tested negative for heart worms, got his teeth professionally cleaned, and is the epitome of Pomeranian health!
Then, I had an epiphany... What does it mean to actually eat HEALTHY?
The knowledge I had gained from the documentaries and visiting various websites had taught me something that now seems so obvious - Lean Cuisines are NOT healthy. I had it set in my mind since childhood that to loose weight I must eat low calorie and I must eat less. While that is a PART of loosing weight, it's not a roadmap to health. Lean Cuisines are processed convenience foods. The ingredients have been frozen, heated, treated, and packaged with preservatives. Whatever nutrients might have naturally been in the sliver of tomato in a lean cuisine dish has been frozen and then heated out of it and then adulterated with chemicals and preservatives and salt = low calorie but not nutritious. They are what I now refer to as "chemical soup." Healthy, for me, now means getting as much nutrients, minerals, and vitamins into my day as humanly possible from a variety of sources and I've found that the bulk of foods that are nutrient dense are also low calorie already. Slowly I transitioned to a diet that features mostly fruits, nuts, and veggies. I haven't bought butter in over 2 years, having switched to cooking with a dab of xtra virgin olive oil (which is a super food). I mean the choice had become very clear to me: You can cook your food in an unhealthy, fattening chemically altered and created product called butter or you can rub a dab of extra virgin olive oil in the pan and get a dose of a "super food." Now a typical meal for me might be grilled or baked asparagus, red and yellow peppers, green beans, baby Bella mushrooms, or rosemary red potatoes - all fresh, nothing canned or frozen. I don't eat poultry, beef, or pork - for various reasons. I do eat salmon, tilapia, and eggs. I prefer farm fresh eggs from free range (way different then cage free) hens from local farmers. Most people are shocked to see an actual free range, fresh, farm egg yolk that has not been pasteurized or industrialized. The yolk is BRIGHT orange (as opposed to light yellow) and the flavor is full-on and hardy. I just LOVE them! I walk to the Farmer's Market on the weekend to get Israeli melons, oranges, strawberries, and blueberries! I don't buy the box of individually packaged oatmeal that contains ingredients like "guar gum" and preservatives. I buy whole, raw, unflavored oats. The ingredients on the container say "Ingredients: Oats." I sweeten them with honey and mix in some berries and I know that I'm eating good, wholesome, preservative free food dense with nutrients and low in calories. I also have not bought most types of bread in over 2 years and I've transitioned away from buying any dairy. All these changes were slow and gradual, which made it so much easier. I find that certain food items (bread and dairy) bloat my gut and cause me to crave more of them and to crave other unhealthy foods. If I stick to my plan of mostly fruits and veggies, I don't really crave too much of anything, my body is satisfied and happy just with the food that I've eaten and my mind is free to think about other things. It's true that you can eat hamburgers and such, in moderation, and still stay under your calorie counts... but I find that these foods are "addictive" and it's so hard to eat JUST a small amount of them. You feel restricted b/c you can only eat so much, then the next day, you crave those unhealthy foods again though you've vowed not to eat them again for a week. I can't eat just a corner of a big, juicy, cheesy hamburger and walk away! It takes awesome willpower to take that monster out and wrestle it and win, so I just don't do it any more. Instead, I grill a bunch of veggies (red onions, orange/yellow peppers, zucchini, etc.) or eat oats and fruit or one of my favorites - spinach. My stomach will be full before I even come close to maxing out any calorie counts.
I was so inspired by the changes that were occurring with my body that I decided to incorporate working out ... There's that snowball effect again! So, I started hitting the gym. Then I started taking walks/jogs to the local running/biking trail. Then I took up bike riding a few nights a week ... Here we are nearly a year later and I rode 32 miles last weekend on a personal challenge. I didn't think I could make it, I nearly gave up a few times, but I pressed on and the feeling of accomplishment is overwhelming. I also lifted weights the day before and the day after... which means I went to work Monday sun burned, sore, and feeling/looking amazing, with confidence and pride.
I've always had a problem staying motivated. I think everyone has this problem. You get all excited in the beginning, you make all these plans, you stick to your guns for a few days going full on, maybe you even keep it up for weeks or a month or two but eventually you fall off the wagon and stay off. You revert back to your old ways saying "I'll hit the gym tomorrow." ... Well, I've got a few things that really do help me keep that motivation in my heart and help keep me eating correctly and working out. Here are my tips:
1. Watch and read things that are conducive to your goals. I LOVE watching weight loss documentaries or TV shows. Check out "HEAVY" on A&E! It's even available now on Netflix. The participants in this show inspire me and their dedication and what they go through gives me NO excuses not to work! Watching documentaries or shows about people struggling with the same things you are and watching them succeed is so motivating.
2. Get an accountabilabuddy! Partner up with someone else who has similar goals. Check in with this person multiple times a day if you can via txt, e-mail, chat. Talk about your food, your feelings about food, your goals...
3. Fantasize and visualize about what you want: career, life, body! Make a "vision board" with pictures and descriptions of what you want and what you want to achieve. Visit it daily! Are your actions leading you towards making your vision board a reality? Put some success story before/after pics on your board and imagine how you would feel if that were your before/after pics! Let yourself feel that joy as if you had already succeeded. What would you wear, how would you look, what would you do, and how would you feel with your new, leaner body? Get excited about your goals and stay excited about them!
4. Revel in your successes! Keep a journal of your accomplishments, a list of your accomplished goals and post pictures on your FB and MFP of your weight loss!! Every time you hit a goal of some kind or loose 5-10 lbs, let everyone know so they can give you kudos!
In addition to cleaning up what goes in my body and getting some good ole physical exercise in, I've also tidied up some other areas of my life that were out of control. Remember my grandmother was having to help me dig out of my financial hole and support my lifestyle? Once the Lease was up at the fancy loft I had shared with my ex-boyfriend, I moved to a cheaper loft that I can afford on my own and got out of my expensive BMW lease and into a paid for Jeep Wrangler. I trimmed the fat on my expenses cutting out all the extras. The question became "Do I need this or do I just want this?" I had to really sit down and figure out what I actually needed and what I wanted and be honest with myself. I don't need ANY help at all paying my bills now. In fact, I'm putting $500/month into my 401K in preparation for retirement. Also, I find that I love my good ole Jeep FAR more than I ever loved my fancy BMWs. It nearly kills me to have to put the top on when it rains b/c I love the outdoors-y feeling of riding around with the top off, letting the sun hit my shoulders, and the wind blow through my hair. I've also re-enrolled in school (taking 9 hours this semester) and will FINALLY finish my bachelor's degree this year! I started focusing more on my career and got promoted. I purged a bunch of junk from my new loft - finally getting rid of old (smaller) clothes that I had held on to for the purpose of pressuring myself to "get back in to them some day." It was time to let the old Lisa go, the new Lisa was coming in! I completely OCD organized and de-cluttered my home, office, and life! I had always wanted to learn how to sew, so I bought a refurbished Brother sewing machine for $65 off of Amazon and focused and taught myself how to sew - I made 3 skirts that I can actually wear to work! So now, here I am, living that life I had DREAMED about a few years ago... It turns out after all that I CAN make it on my own. I had never allowed myself to believe that before. When I was in HS, if you had told me that some day I'd be a degreed professional, living independently, with my own adorable loft in Downtown Dallas (everything is PINK!), riding around in a Jeep wrangler, making my own clothes, with a career in commercial real estate, being financially stable and investing, doing 32 mile bike rides on the weekends, I would not have even been able to wrap my head around it! Not only do I feel GREAT myself, but I've inspired others and made my family so proud. Family, co-workers, and some of my party friends have said to me "some people talk about what they are going to do, but you actually do it." Some of them have taken up eating more veggies, watched the documentaries I've suggested, and bought bikes to take up bike riding! I hope I've planted a few seeds.
I'm excited and I feel alive... Long gone are the days of anxiety about what I'm going to wear to work since I only have 1 pair of pants that fit, long gone are the days of worrying about whether my dog has heart worms... My confidence level has shot up through the roof! I walk in anywhere with my head held high, I can meet ANY challenge I don't care what it is, and this Lisa Kay would never have dated a guy like my ex to begin with! Instead of wondering if I'll ever find a guy that I'm good enough for, I find myself wondering if there's a guy who is good enough for me? I live a life that has been completely constructed and pieced together and decorated meticulously with my bare hands ...
So, I've learned several important things over the past few years along this journey. Lots of those lessons have been listed in the paragraphs above. However, for those younger, single ladies out there just trying to make it in this world, I'd like to pass on a few more things that I learned the hard way. These may or may not pertain to you, and you may or may not agree, but I wish I had known these things when I was in my 20s:
1. Never sign onto a Lease or a payment plan with ANYONE else for any reason whatsoever. Period. Just don't do it. If you cannot afford it on your own, then you cannot afford it at all. I know lots of married couples get into installment plans and mortgages together and that's fine. I'm not judging that. However, when the divorce hits the fan, neither party ever gets out of that unscathed. This is why most people have to file for bankruptcy as a result of divorce - they sign on together for things they cannot afford on their own believing they will never have to pay for it on their own. I'm here to tell you that partners leave, get sick, get laid off, and flat out die. As a young woman, you might want to think about your finances independently, in terms of what you can afford on your own pay. Prepare for retirement early... as in NOW. Start socking away money into a 401K or an IRA immediately, and plan as if you will have to fund your retirement yourself - no husband to contribute, no inheritance, no social security. ING Direct will give you a $50 bonus for signing up an IRA with them!
2. THINK long and hard before you decide to have kids. I'm just sayin' ... baby-having isn't all grey and white pics of your 8 month preggo belly with your man's hands making a heart shape over your belly button. It means staying up all night with sick kids, taking a break from work (and getting behind?), it means less money for your own clothes, education, and health care. It means contributing a huge chunk of your paycheck to health insurance premiums for you and baby, $800/month in daycare, waking up early to get someone else ready before you can get ready... It means not being able to stay at the office late and finish work or work on your homework, it means tending to someone else's needs first as soon as you get home, it means shopping for the right school, changing disgusting diapers, not being able to meet "the girls" for shots of tequila any time you like ... It means paying attention and correcting behavior so that you don't raise a heathen, it means making sure homework is done and manners are used. Recently, one of my younger girlfriends had her first baby. Her and baby-daddy got engaged and are now living together. All through her pregnancy it was rainbows and flowers and excitement. The baby came and a few weeks later it was sick. They didn't have money for a doctor and neither her nor her boyfriend have health insurance to cover the child. Thus, she had to drive a good distance to take the baby to a free clinic. She commented on "OMG doctors are so expensive." In my mind, parenting seems like it would be SO much easier if you had the health insurance and doctor expenses thing all squared away before you had a child.
3. This next one relates to number 1... If you cannot afford to pay cash for it, you cannot afford it at all. Instead of asking yourself "How can I afford to pay cash for things?" ask yourself "How can I afford to pay 10-20% more for every thing?" because that's what buying on installment means. You pay more. Save up and buy a cheap car, sock away monthly what you would pay for a car payment, in a few years, trade your clunker in and flop some cash down an a little upgrade... then upgrade again. Get cars that don't loose their style over time... like Jeeps! Whether it's a 1994 black Jeep Wrangler Sport or a 2012 black Jeep Wrangler Sport - man they sure do look adorable traveling down the road with the top off!!
4. Go without, but get more! I used to have the fancy corner loft in the downtown high rise, the BMW, the full cable package to the tune of $150/month, the FAST internet at $50/month, satellite radio, nights out on the town drinking, etc. I would go to Walmart Food Market and overflow my buggy with prepackaged convenience foods: Jimmy Dean breakfast Croissants, Lean Cuisines, Marie Calendar, Mac and Cheese! All that has changed... I'm much happier in my adorable, smaller loft and my Jeep. I haven't had cable in YEARS! I downgraded my internet to the cheapest one around... $20/month. I stream Netflix over wifi on my iphone and plug it into my TV. No satellite radio, no car payment, and I purchased a fan to blow on me at night to keep me cool instead of leaving the AC on 24/7. I quit getting my nails done and I don't pay for a gym membership. If the gym was going to make me skinny, I never would have gotten big in the first place. I had a gym membership the entire time during that decade I put on 85 lbs. I bring food to eat wherever I go - to stay on my food plan and to save money. I shop at Big Lots and the .99 cent store for household items. I'd rather pay $1.50 for Salon Selectives shampoo at Big Lots instead of $3.92 for Dove shampoo at Walmart. On the weekends I will totally ride my bike to things to save on gas, or walk even. I live in downtown, so walking to entertainment is always an option. I've found that Target has completely adorable clothes at amazing prices! I buy used things off of Craigslist - which is actually a form of recycling. It keeps that item out of the landfill and reduces the amount of energy and resources need to produce a new item to replace it. I learned to sew and actually enjoy making some of my own clothes!
Am I perfect? NOPE! Am I good? Well, I could always do better! Am I proud, happy, and excited? Hell yes!
Here's me now at 149:
I wish you all success and happiness! GET IT!!!
Here is a pic of me at 185 lbs:
I graduated HS in 1998 at around 100 lbs (size 1 jeans) and steadily put on pounds every year for the next decade, putting on most of the weight in 2007 and 2008 while in an unhappy relationship that ended abruptly. Ultimately I put on 85 lbs - just 15 lbs shy of doubling my entire body weight! ... I found my self being dumped by my boyfriend of four years (really he was doing me a favor), squeezing into a size 16, WAY in over my head financially with an expensive corner loft in a fancy high rise, and a BMW lease, alone in the big city, and not happy with myself at all! Adding to my misery was the fact that I was left holding the financial bag from the four year relationship (read: deep in debt and can't pay the rent) and had to let family help me pay the bills just to keep a roof over my head. This meant accepting help from and answering to my overly critical (but life saving) grandmother. She had lots to say about my weight and my finances... I didn't want to hear it, but I had to listen. Beggars can't be choosers. I wasn't in control of or on top of anything and I could not even see the light at the end of the tunnel. I felt completely hopeless, broke, and fat.
I needed an overhaul - health, finances, attitude, life in general - but I did not know how to even start. Post break up, I spent a good year or more so overwhelmed by everything that was wrong, that the only thing I could do was party! If I was partying with my friends and drinking (on grandma's dime), I didn't have to think about what I was going to do with my future and where this crazy train was headed. I didn't have to "figure out" what I was going to do with the rest of my life. Eventually I got tired of the stress that comes along with being the party girl and I longed to be the successful girl! I was growing more and more embarrassed that, in my 30s, I was having to rely heavily on my grandparents to even make rent. I felt like a burden. I was ready to make them proud and start feeling some pride in myself again.
So, that's when I decided to do something else... I happened to watch a few documentaries such as Food, Inc, Forks over Knives, Fat Sick and Nearly Dead, and they really inspired me. I made a list of goals - all the things I had wanted to do in life, all the things that I had let slide while I was partying, and all the things I DREAMED of doing and being. I imagined my ideal life - what I would look like if I could. What my home would look like. How I might dress if I were not limited by my size. I enlisted an accountabilabuddy, Scarlit. Scarlit and I communicated daily (and still do) about our goals and how to achieve them. We report daily on our successes or failures and how to do better. We share information we come across. Slowly, I started to knock goals out one at a time, and it started feeling good ... I had to start small and write down/celebrate each and every victory. Get an eye exam and glasses - CHECK! - needed to do that for over a year! Get the dog back on his insurance (I had let it slide while I was partying) and get his teeth cleaned and get him back on heart worm preventative. Start working out, organize my home, start eating healthy! I had all these little "worries" in my head, "Man, I haven't taken Taylor (my dog) to the vet in a while, what if I finally take him and he has heart worms?" So, every time the dog would cough I'd have some anxiety associated with him dying of heart worm disease or having to pay $300 to treat him for heart worms. All this was a direct result to my letting the little things slide by without taking care of them. His heart worm preventative shot is only $30 twice a year, but because I was partying so much, I had let it get by me a few times...but really I had been letting things "slide by" my whole life when it comes to my health! Once I started taking care of all these little "loose ends" my anxiety level went way down and I was able to focus more of my energy on the next goal. Crossing these little worries off my list and experiencing those tiny feelings of accomplishment had an accumulative effect. By the way, Taylor is back on his insurance, tested negative for heart worms, got his teeth professionally cleaned, and is the epitome of Pomeranian health!
Then, I had an epiphany... What does it mean to actually eat HEALTHY?
The knowledge I had gained from the documentaries and visiting various websites had taught me something that now seems so obvious - Lean Cuisines are NOT healthy. I had it set in my mind since childhood that to loose weight I must eat low calorie and I must eat less. While that is a PART of loosing weight, it's not a roadmap to health. Lean Cuisines are processed convenience foods. The ingredients have been frozen, heated, treated, and packaged with preservatives. Whatever nutrients might have naturally been in the sliver of tomato in a lean cuisine dish has been frozen and then heated out of it and then adulterated with chemicals and preservatives and salt = low calorie but not nutritious. They are what I now refer to as "chemical soup." Healthy, for me, now means getting as much nutrients, minerals, and vitamins into my day as humanly possible from a variety of sources and I've found that the bulk of foods that are nutrient dense are also low calorie already. Slowly I transitioned to a diet that features mostly fruits, nuts, and veggies. I haven't bought butter in over 2 years, having switched to cooking with a dab of xtra virgin olive oil (which is a super food). I mean the choice had become very clear to me: You can cook your food in an unhealthy, fattening chemically altered and created product called butter or you can rub a dab of extra virgin olive oil in the pan and get a dose of a "super food." Now a typical meal for me might be grilled or baked asparagus, red and yellow peppers, green beans, baby Bella mushrooms, or rosemary red potatoes - all fresh, nothing canned or frozen. I don't eat poultry, beef, or pork - for various reasons. I do eat salmon, tilapia, and eggs. I prefer farm fresh eggs from free range (way different then cage free) hens from local farmers. Most people are shocked to see an actual free range, fresh, farm egg yolk that has not been pasteurized or industrialized. The yolk is BRIGHT orange (as opposed to light yellow) and the flavor is full-on and hardy. I just LOVE them! I walk to the Farmer's Market on the weekend to get Israeli melons, oranges, strawberries, and blueberries! I don't buy the box of individually packaged oatmeal that contains ingredients like "guar gum" and preservatives. I buy whole, raw, unflavored oats. The ingredients on the container say "Ingredients: Oats." I sweeten them with honey and mix in some berries and I know that I'm eating good, wholesome, preservative free food dense with nutrients and low in calories. I also have not bought most types of bread in over 2 years and I've transitioned away from buying any dairy. All these changes were slow and gradual, which made it so much easier. I find that certain food items (bread and dairy) bloat my gut and cause me to crave more of them and to crave other unhealthy foods. If I stick to my plan of mostly fruits and veggies, I don't really crave too much of anything, my body is satisfied and happy just with the food that I've eaten and my mind is free to think about other things. It's true that you can eat hamburgers and such, in moderation, and still stay under your calorie counts... but I find that these foods are "addictive" and it's so hard to eat JUST a small amount of them. You feel restricted b/c you can only eat so much, then the next day, you crave those unhealthy foods again though you've vowed not to eat them again for a week. I can't eat just a corner of a big, juicy, cheesy hamburger and walk away! It takes awesome willpower to take that monster out and wrestle it and win, so I just don't do it any more. Instead, I grill a bunch of veggies (red onions, orange/yellow peppers, zucchini, etc.) or eat oats and fruit or one of my favorites - spinach. My stomach will be full before I even come close to maxing out any calorie counts.
I was so inspired by the changes that were occurring with my body that I decided to incorporate working out ... There's that snowball effect again! So, I started hitting the gym. Then I started taking walks/jogs to the local running/biking trail. Then I took up bike riding a few nights a week ... Here we are nearly a year later and I rode 32 miles last weekend on a personal challenge. I didn't think I could make it, I nearly gave up a few times, but I pressed on and the feeling of accomplishment is overwhelming. I also lifted weights the day before and the day after... which means I went to work Monday sun burned, sore, and feeling/looking amazing, with confidence and pride.
I've always had a problem staying motivated. I think everyone has this problem. You get all excited in the beginning, you make all these plans, you stick to your guns for a few days going full on, maybe you even keep it up for weeks or a month or two but eventually you fall off the wagon and stay off. You revert back to your old ways saying "I'll hit the gym tomorrow." ... Well, I've got a few things that really do help me keep that motivation in my heart and help keep me eating correctly and working out. Here are my tips:
1. Watch and read things that are conducive to your goals. I LOVE watching weight loss documentaries or TV shows. Check out "HEAVY" on A&E! It's even available now on Netflix. The participants in this show inspire me and their dedication and what they go through gives me NO excuses not to work! Watching documentaries or shows about people struggling with the same things you are and watching them succeed is so motivating.
2. Get an accountabilabuddy! Partner up with someone else who has similar goals. Check in with this person multiple times a day if you can via txt, e-mail, chat. Talk about your food, your feelings about food, your goals...
3. Fantasize and visualize about what you want: career, life, body! Make a "vision board" with pictures and descriptions of what you want and what you want to achieve. Visit it daily! Are your actions leading you towards making your vision board a reality? Put some success story before/after pics on your board and imagine how you would feel if that were your before/after pics! Let yourself feel that joy as if you had already succeeded. What would you wear, how would you look, what would you do, and how would you feel with your new, leaner body? Get excited about your goals and stay excited about them!
4. Revel in your successes! Keep a journal of your accomplishments, a list of your accomplished goals and post pictures on your FB and MFP of your weight loss!! Every time you hit a goal of some kind or loose 5-10 lbs, let everyone know so they can give you kudos!
In addition to cleaning up what goes in my body and getting some good ole physical exercise in, I've also tidied up some other areas of my life that were out of control. Remember my grandmother was having to help me dig out of my financial hole and support my lifestyle? Once the Lease was up at the fancy loft I had shared with my ex-boyfriend, I moved to a cheaper loft that I can afford on my own and got out of my expensive BMW lease and into a paid for Jeep Wrangler. I trimmed the fat on my expenses cutting out all the extras. The question became "Do I need this or do I just want this?" I had to really sit down and figure out what I actually needed and what I wanted and be honest with myself. I don't need ANY help at all paying my bills now. In fact, I'm putting $500/month into my 401K in preparation for retirement. Also, I find that I love my good ole Jeep FAR more than I ever loved my fancy BMWs. It nearly kills me to have to put the top on when it rains b/c I love the outdoors-y feeling of riding around with the top off, letting the sun hit my shoulders, and the wind blow through my hair. I've also re-enrolled in school (taking 9 hours this semester) and will FINALLY finish my bachelor's degree this year! I started focusing more on my career and got promoted. I purged a bunch of junk from my new loft - finally getting rid of old (smaller) clothes that I had held on to for the purpose of pressuring myself to "get back in to them some day." It was time to let the old Lisa go, the new Lisa was coming in! I completely OCD organized and de-cluttered my home, office, and life! I had always wanted to learn how to sew, so I bought a refurbished Brother sewing machine for $65 off of Amazon and focused and taught myself how to sew - I made 3 skirts that I can actually wear to work! So now, here I am, living that life I had DREAMED about a few years ago... It turns out after all that I CAN make it on my own. I had never allowed myself to believe that before. When I was in HS, if you had told me that some day I'd be a degreed professional, living independently, with my own adorable loft in Downtown Dallas (everything is PINK!), riding around in a Jeep wrangler, making my own clothes, with a career in commercial real estate, being financially stable and investing, doing 32 mile bike rides on the weekends, I would not have even been able to wrap my head around it! Not only do I feel GREAT myself, but I've inspired others and made my family so proud. Family, co-workers, and some of my party friends have said to me "some people talk about what they are going to do, but you actually do it." Some of them have taken up eating more veggies, watched the documentaries I've suggested, and bought bikes to take up bike riding! I hope I've planted a few seeds.
I'm excited and I feel alive... Long gone are the days of anxiety about what I'm going to wear to work since I only have 1 pair of pants that fit, long gone are the days of worrying about whether my dog has heart worms... My confidence level has shot up through the roof! I walk in anywhere with my head held high, I can meet ANY challenge I don't care what it is, and this Lisa Kay would never have dated a guy like my ex to begin with! Instead of wondering if I'll ever find a guy that I'm good enough for, I find myself wondering if there's a guy who is good enough for me? I live a life that has been completely constructed and pieced together and decorated meticulously with my bare hands ...
So, I've learned several important things over the past few years along this journey. Lots of those lessons have been listed in the paragraphs above. However, for those younger, single ladies out there just trying to make it in this world, I'd like to pass on a few more things that I learned the hard way. These may or may not pertain to you, and you may or may not agree, but I wish I had known these things when I was in my 20s:
1. Never sign onto a Lease or a payment plan with ANYONE else for any reason whatsoever. Period. Just don't do it. If you cannot afford it on your own, then you cannot afford it at all. I know lots of married couples get into installment plans and mortgages together and that's fine. I'm not judging that. However, when the divorce hits the fan, neither party ever gets out of that unscathed. This is why most people have to file for bankruptcy as a result of divorce - they sign on together for things they cannot afford on their own believing they will never have to pay for it on their own. I'm here to tell you that partners leave, get sick, get laid off, and flat out die. As a young woman, you might want to think about your finances independently, in terms of what you can afford on your own pay. Prepare for retirement early... as in NOW. Start socking away money into a 401K or an IRA immediately, and plan as if you will have to fund your retirement yourself - no husband to contribute, no inheritance, no social security. ING Direct will give you a $50 bonus for signing up an IRA with them!
2. THINK long and hard before you decide to have kids. I'm just sayin' ... baby-having isn't all grey and white pics of your 8 month preggo belly with your man's hands making a heart shape over your belly button. It means staying up all night with sick kids, taking a break from work (and getting behind?), it means less money for your own clothes, education, and health care. It means contributing a huge chunk of your paycheck to health insurance premiums for you and baby, $800/month in daycare, waking up early to get someone else ready before you can get ready... It means not being able to stay at the office late and finish work or work on your homework, it means tending to someone else's needs first as soon as you get home, it means shopping for the right school, changing disgusting diapers, not being able to meet "the girls" for shots of tequila any time you like ... It means paying attention and correcting behavior so that you don't raise a heathen, it means making sure homework is done and manners are used. Recently, one of my younger girlfriends had her first baby. Her and baby-daddy got engaged and are now living together. All through her pregnancy it was rainbows and flowers and excitement. The baby came and a few weeks later it was sick. They didn't have money for a doctor and neither her nor her boyfriend have health insurance to cover the child. Thus, she had to drive a good distance to take the baby to a free clinic. She commented on "OMG doctors are so expensive." In my mind, parenting seems like it would be SO much easier if you had the health insurance and doctor expenses thing all squared away before you had a child.
3. This next one relates to number 1... If you cannot afford to pay cash for it, you cannot afford it at all. Instead of asking yourself "How can I afford to pay cash for things?" ask yourself "How can I afford to pay 10-20% more for every thing?" because that's what buying on installment means. You pay more. Save up and buy a cheap car, sock away monthly what you would pay for a car payment, in a few years, trade your clunker in and flop some cash down an a little upgrade... then upgrade again. Get cars that don't loose their style over time... like Jeeps! Whether it's a 1994 black Jeep Wrangler Sport or a 2012 black Jeep Wrangler Sport - man they sure do look adorable traveling down the road with the top off!!
4. Go without, but get more! I used to have the fancy corner loft in the downtown high rise, the BMW, the full cable package to the tune of $150/month, the FAST internet at $50/month, satellite radio, nights out on the town drinking, etc. I would go to Walmart Food Market and overflow my buggy with prepackaged convenience foods: Jimmy Dean breakfast Croissants, Lean Cuisines, Marie Calendar, Mac and Cheese! All that has changed... I'm much happier in my adorable, smaller loft and my Jeep. I haven't had cable in YEARS! I downgraded my internet to the cheapest one around... $20/month. I stream Netflix over wifi on my iphone and plug it into my TV. No satellite radio, no car payment, and I purchased a fan to blow on me at night to keep me cool instead of leaving the AC on 24/7. I quit getting my nails done and I don't pay for a gym membership. If the gym was going to make me skinny, I never would have gotten big in the first place. I had a gym membership the entire time during that decade I put on 85 lbs. I bring food to eat wherever I go - to stay on my food plan and to save money. I shop at Big Lots and the .99 cent store for household items. I'd rather pay $1.50 for Salon Selectives shampoo at Big Lots instead of $3.92 for Dove shampoo at Walmart. On the weekends I will totally ride my bike to things to save on gas, or walk even. I live in downtown, so walking to entertainment is always an option. I've found that Target has completely adorable clothes at amazing prices! I buy used things off of Craigslist - which is actually a form of recycling. It keeps that item out of the landfill and reduces the amount of energy and resources need to produce a new item to replace it. I learned to sew and actually enjoy making some of my own clothes!
Am I perfect? NOPE! Am I good? Well, I could always do better! Am I proud, happy, and excited? Hell yes!
Here's me now at 149:
I wish you all success and happiness! GET IT!!!
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Replies
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What a fantastic story. I'm so happy for the changes YOU made to make YOUR life better, it really is all down to us and what we decide to do with our lives isn't it?
You look great and are so obviously happy now and rightly so.
I love the idea of making a list of everything that needs doing and being able to tick each thing off one by one, it's certainly something I will do.
Good for you, you're an inspiration.0 -
Thank you!!!!0
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You look amazing and you are an inspiration!!!! I love you
Keep up the good work! :bigsmile: 0 -
Thanks Scarlit!!! Lover you I could not have done it without you!!!!!
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You look amazing and you are an inspiration!!!!0
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Wow, AMAZING job!!! Don't you just love the change in feelings?0
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bumping ..... gotta get to work, will come back later ...... but the pictures speak volumes ..... great job !0
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Thanks for sharing your story!! Amazing!!0
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Congrats! what a great job. u look great =]0
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Thank you for posting your story! You've done what so many need to do - take control of your life. You're really accomplished a lot, and I wish you continued success!0
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You look fantastic! Great job, great inspiration. You are proof it is mind over matter. Thanks for sharing.0
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Thank you all so much!
Yes, the pics speak volumes... when I look at my before pic, I'm astonished that you really cannot tell where my breasts end and my gut begins, and I actually had quite a large chest in that pic. In my after pics, you can clearly see that my stomach has deflated quite a bit. For me, that's the biggest difference I see in the two profiles...
I hear lots of people say this, but when I was that big, I really did not realize what others were seeing. I mean, I knew I had gotten quite heavy, but you sort of get used to it and adapt and you don't see yourself that way!
I also have really bad asthma, when I was that heavy and out of shape, and not visiting my doctor regularly (letting things slide), I was going through one rescue inhaler a week. I was making midnight emergency trips to 24 hour pharmacies to pick up more inhalers and having to use a breathing machine at night. Nowadays, after becoming more physically fit and dropping some weight, AND working with my doctor on some diff meds, I never use my rescue inhaler. My asthma is under control for the first time in my LIFE! This makes a huge difference as it allows me to go on those 32 mile bike rides, where before I would be wheezing just walking up a flight of stairs.0 -
Your story is so inspirational. And you look fantastic. Isn't it wonderful when it all just "clicks in your head". So much to be proud of!0
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:flowerforyou: So enjoyed reading your journey. (when you said you were 4'11" and started at #100...I knew I had to read it because I'm 4' 11" and when i got married I was #98...but I'm also old enough to be your grandmother). I'm so glad for you that you learned these lessons before you were too much older...it really is much harder to learn the longer it goes on.
Your pictures show your progress but it's the full story that's really the inspiration
I hope others read your story and learn from it too:drinker:0 -
Congratulations!!!
I bet your grandmother is proud and happy that you are financially stable and can finally pay her back for all the financial help she's been giving you.0 -
Thank you everyone!!! 0
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What a wonderful story! Congrats on your success - you deserve it!
And I sooo agree with you about the Lean Cuisines... About two months ago I discovered some eye opening documentaries on food (some you mentioned) Fat, Sick & Nearly Dead, Fork Over Knives, Food Matters, Hungry for Change... Life. Changing . Out with the processed food. In with the colorful fruits and veggies, leafy greens and lean meats. Bought a Vitamix - that's been a huge help in continuing to eat healthy... I've learned weight loss and just being healthy in general has a lot more to do with what I eat than how much I work out. (Although working out is a must!) Combining a healthy diet with exercise really makes all the difference in the world!
Keep up the good work! 0 -
Amazing story. You must be proud of your accomplishments
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Yes, out with the processed foods! Yay for you... I'll have to check out Hungry For Change - that's a new one for me!
I'm just sorry I had to watch documentaries in my 30s to finally learn, so late in life, what foods I should have been putting in my face from the beginning. At first I thought, "Why isn't this stuff being taught in schools as part of basic health/nutrition?" then I remembered that congress declared french fries a vegetable.
I wish I had this information when I was in HS, or in my 20s... EVEN if I didn't adhere to a healthy, plant based diet at that time, I at least would have been informed and making an informed decision.0 -
Wow!! Your story is so inspirational!!!
I have been saying, I'm going to do what you have done- write out exactly how I'd like my life to look, what I want to do, my dreams, etc. I just haven't sat down and done that yet!
I so want to get processed foods out of our house. It's so difficult though with a husband and two sons (ages 18 & 21). I have to try to get them to change their mindset, too. But I guess doing it gradually is best and hopefully over time they'll see the good results!!
I would love to print your story out so I can read it again and also take some of your suggestions. Would that be ok? :bigsmile:0 -
I would love for you to print my story and re-read it, share it with others, whatever... I wanted to be so candid and share all the grimy, embarassing details of my failures and subsequent come back to hopefully send a message of hope to anyone else out there who might be in the same position I was 4 years ago!0
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Thanks for your story and your candor. And kudos to you for refusing to play the victim role, and getting up off the mat and doing something about it. You deserve the pride that you feel. Nice work.
BTW, Jeep Wrangler....say no more 0 -
Yes, out with the processed foods! Yay for you... I'll have to check out Hungry For Change - that's a new one for me!
I'm just sorry I had to watch documentaries in my 30s to finally learn, so late in life, what foods I should have been putting in my face from the beginning. At first I thought, "Why isn't this stuff being taught in schools as part of basic health/nutrition?" then I remembered that congress declared french fries a vegetable.
I wish I had this information when I was in HS, or in my 20s... EVEN if I didn't adhere to a healthy, plant based diet at that time, I at least would have been informed and making an informed decision.
I hear ya. 34 years old and I finally learned how to take care of myself. I agree that these docs / this subject should be taught in school... But if we had a healhty, food-educated society, where would the drug companies get all their bling?
Oh, well. Better to at least learn this stuff in our 30's rather than not at all, huh? 0 -
Thanks for sharing your story! Very inspiring!! Keep up the great work on your journey!! You look great!0
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WOW!! Well done on taking control of your life!
Your story is truly inspirational - thanks for sharing :-D0 -
Amazing accomplishment!! You're VERY inspiring CONGRATULATIONS!! 0
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I love your story. Your story really is not for just ladies. It's for everyone. From over the top living, feeling fat and over weight, to asking for money from family, to making change, down sizing, living without and getting more and the BIG ONE to me. SAVE that money you spend on CRAP.
I will copy your story and send it to some people I know. I will also keep a copy of it with me in my glove compartment so if I should ever feel I want a new car, Your Letter will remind me to drive my truck until the wheels fall off.
I will also do what I been wanting to do and cancel my T.V. Bill. AT&T is over rated anyways.. I love Netflic's and can live with that. My boys like netflicks too.. I believe my wife does too.
The warning about having kids. You are right. Life is much better when you have insurance and money in the bank to pay for the kids. I will say, I was 30 before I got married. Almost 12 years ago. Becky and I know each other for 3 plus years before ever getting married. One, I wanted her to have her Schooling done for the reason you sstated, If she had to, she could take care of herslef and now our kids too if I should die. Life insurance in place is also a good thing to have, more for raising the kids and mantaining the quality of their life and also to make things easier if I am not their.
As far as having kids, man, I would not have ever NOT wanted to live without kids. I love them ALL and all the friends they bring around and families you meet. I am100% in love with the Jive Turkeys Becky and I brought into this world. I felt empty without them. Yes, Becky and I Love each other very much. This is a key part of marriage. Without love and trust, nothing works.
Now, I also know having kids is not for everyone. I am happy when I hear or someone tells me that they will never have kids. They also state for reason like you stated. They just don't want to deal with kids and the hang-ups that go with having kids. I am pleased that they know this about themselves and would not bring a kid that needs love from their parents 110% of the time. Not just when the parent feels like it.. I do love how you detailed the things about this subject.. Good Job.
Thank you for posting this story about you. It hits home on so many area's of my past and current life. I too a few years ago had to make changes when the market too so much money that I had banked in my 20's and 30's away. I am fine now and think if I can make it through all that B.S., I can do anything.
Have a good day and I would like to have you as one of my friends here on MFP.
Best Wishes,
Paul C.
West Sacramento, Ca0 -
Thank you Paul.
Yes, I completely agree some of things I mentioned are not just for women. My story was told from a single female's point of view with advice to other single females simply b/c that's the perspective I have the best grasp on.
Certainly men deserve the best and deserve to be health and financially savvy as well 0 -
Wow... thank you for sharing.
I made a lot of the same mistakes! It is crazy how we can get ourselves into this kind of situation. My ex husband always wanted to seem richer, more clamorous... and here I am 12 years later still trying to recover!
I am making many of the same changes! Thanks again for sharing!0 -
Thanks for sharing. You look great.0
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