Question for the (much) older crowd here

willy0524

And for the record. I didn't technically violate your disclaimer because I'm offering criticism of your post/disclaimer, rather than thoughts on getting older specifically.

For the record, I still ignored you.

Bahahahahahahahaha!

As I get older, I wonder more & more why some folks can't just stfu. Really.

:drinker: I'll drink to that

dyannajoy

Not sure I want to answer this question......as I feel really sad about who I am today. I am 63 and until I was 50 I was a kind, caring, loving, deeply connected to the world, person. Then, my daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver, shortly after my husband up with leukemia, and a few years later, I battled breast cancer. I was shocked, still am, at how hard hearted people, especially extended family,and *friends* were through all of this. Not that there weren't caring people in our world.......but the majority were strangers. I call them earth angels. We survived the unsurvivable.
However today, I find myself less caring, less connected to the world. My world has become much smaller. There are few people I trust deeply anymore. My children, grandchildren, husband, are my world. I love my work (I teach at the local university) and am so encouraged by the many yound adults who cross my path. Truly, outside of my family, it is the young people of this world that I care most about. Older people, people my age, greatly disappoint me for the most part. Today the world seems much less caring. I see it everywhere. There is so much *bullying*, insanity, selfcenteredness, shallowness, everywhere I turn. So I keep a treasured few in my day to day world, pray for the rest, do what I can to add good to the world, try really hard to let go of that which I have no control over.......and try to be at peace with who I am today. Most days I am at peace.......However. I would give anything to turn back the clock and be who I once was......

7funnygirl7

Not sure I want to answer this question......as I feel really sad about who I am today. I am 63 and until I was 50 I was a kind, caring, loving, deeply connected to the world, person. Then, my daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver, shortly after my husband up with leukemia, and a few years later, I battled breast cancer. I was shocked, still am, at how hard hearted people, especially extended family,and *friends* were through all of this. Not that there weren't caring people in our world.......but the majority were strangers. I call them earth angels. We survived the unsurvivable.
However today, I find myself less caring, less connected to the world. My world has become much smaller. There are few people I trust deeply anymore. My children, grandchildren, husband, are my world. I love my work (I teach at the local university) and am so encouraged by the many yound adults who cross my path. Truly, outside of my family, it is the young people of this world that I care most about. Older people, people my age, greatly disappoint me for the most part. Today the world seems much less caring. I see it everywhere. There is so much *bullying*, insanity, selfcenteredness, shallowness, everywhere I turn. So I keep a treasured few in my day to day world, pray for the rest, do what I can to add good to the world, try really hard to let go of that which I have no control over.......and try to be at peace with who I am today. Most days I am at peace.......However. I would give anything to turn back the clock and be who I once was......

:flowerforyou: *hugs*

focus4fitness

I am way more understanding than when I was younger. Even over the last year or so I feel I have become way less judgmental. At the same time though, I am way less open hearted with people. When it comes to people I can take them or leave them. If someone only causes drama and chaos in my life, regardless of how they got there, I will avoid them at all costs.

focus4fitness

Not sure I want to answer this question......as I feel really sad about who I am today. I am 63 and until I was 50 I was a kind, caring, loving, deeply connected to the world, person. Then, my daughter was hit and killed by a drunk driver, shortly after my husband up with leukemia, and a few years later, I battled breast cancer. I was shocked, still am, at how hard hearted people, especially extended family,and *friends* were through all of this. Not that there weren't caring people in our world.......but the majority were strangers. I call them earth angels. We survived the unsurvivable.
However today, I find myself less caring, less connected to the world. My world has become much smaller. There are few people I trust deeply anymore. My children, grandchildren, husband, are my world. I love my work (I teach at the local university) and am so encouraged by the many yound adults who cross my path. Truly, outside of my family, it is the young people of this world that I care most about. Older people, people my age, greatly disappoint me for the most part. Today the world seems much less caring. I see it everywhere. There is so much *bullying*, insanity, selfcenteredness, shallowness, everywhere I turn. So I keep a treasured few in my day to day world, pray for the rest, do what I can to add good to the world, try really hard to let go of that which I have no control over.......and try to be at peace with who I am today. Most days I am at peace.......However. I would give anything to turn back the clock and be who I once was......

:flowerforyou:

Merrychrissmith

I age and live by this quote:

A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams. John Barrymore Sr

LizHowerton

Nasty disclaimer before I ask this:

If you're younger than I am, please don't tell me your thoughts on getting older. kthxbai.


I try to get better every day with how I react to people and more importantly how I act upon those feelings. I still find myself in the "live and let die" camp on a lot of issues. I find it really hard to be sympathetic sometimes, especially toward people who bring their misfortunes upon themselves.

So, as you've gotten older, do you find that you've become more understanding and open-hearted or do you find that you've become "set in your ways?" What were some of the things that led you to become one way or the other?

Thanks for responding.

I think at 27 you are still so young, and have so much life experience to go through.

To answer your question.....I think the answer for me is yes and no.

One thing about getting older, you get to see life's injustices and life's joys, and know that they roll around for everyone.

I think in some ways I am more tolerant and less judgemental over superficial things in other people's lives.

I've learned that everybody has to learn their own life lessons in their own time, and sometimes that may not be in my lifetime:)

That people that are inflicting drama, negativity selfishness, etc into my life, I cut them out of my life, or limit my interaction with them, even if they are related tome. I've learned that I have to have my boundaries, and can't control others.

I've learned that just because I think it, doesn't mean I have to say it.

I've learned that everyone makes mistakes...everyone.

For me, time matured me....makes me appreciate my own good qualities, improve on what I can, and not beat myself up for my flaws. Something I did not do in my younger years. Less insecure, more confident.

Things that were significant in my life...so many....I was married and divorced twice by the time I was 32. I was a single Mom with three children, since my youngest was one. I received the help from many good people over the years. Whether it was help getting back to college for myself, Christmas gifts for my kids, school clothes...or just an ear to listen. Having a child with a chronic illness changed me.

In my late thirties early forties, I was dx with MS. Two years after that my oldest brother, whom I was close to, died of a heart attack.

Having a gay son changed me for the better. Made me more empathetic.

That taught me how precious life truly is, and it can be taken away in a minute. My Mom became ill and went into a nursing home.


I gained a lot of weight...depressed...and then decided to get healthy. Lose lots of weight, work out...and remarried a few months ago.

I learned to KEEP MOVING. Keep myself as healthy and happy as long as possible. Be active.

And don't waste your time on people that are bringing you down.

There are so many times on here, where I read a young woman post...guys what do you want in a girl? I understand that feeling from a long time ago...so wish these woman would ask what they want for themselves and in a man. I remember that age....

As a Mom of young adults, I've learned, and it's really hard, that I have to let them learn for themselves.

Anyhow...I rambled...there are some of my thoughts.

More open--ummmm--just different perspective.

I realize that all of us only have a limited amount of time on this planet, better do what I feel is the right thing to do, to the people I love and care about.

_Triple_S_

And for the record. I didn't technically violate your disclaimer because I'm offering criticism of your post/disclaimer, rather than thoughts on getting older specifically.

For the record, I still ignored you.

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

Pollywog39

Well, David, you certainly are getting introspective, aren't you?

I have found that getting older is very FREEING...............I used to think that everyone had to like me (now, if they don't, it's THEIR loss). I used to think I had to look a certain way and hang with a certain crowd and have certain things.......I now don't care about those things.

I value my family - my daughters, my grandson, my siblings - the most in all the world. I have decided that life is short, and there are many things I need and want to do.........I was in a very long, horrible marriage, and when I left that, my life changed dramatically! I am able to be and do and give and seek and care more than ever before, and it's awesome.

I am a happy person - always have been. I see goodness around me, I see joy and beauty. Yes, I get discouraged about the sadness of life.............life CAN BE very difficult. You lose things, you lose people.........but, unless you lose YOURSELF, you truly do have everything.

Be joyful. Find the good. Take the high road when necessary, and believe in something. Know that we are not alone here, and there just could be something breathtaking around the next corner. Have HUMOR..........stay young in thought and deed, and develop a sense of the absurd (which I think you're on the fine road to doing ) Stay away from negative, depressing people....they will only bring you down. Offer help where it's needed, and give of your time and money (if you can.) It is all is good for the people around you, and for your own well-being.

Eat, drink, and be merry.......for tomorrow you may die (did you know that's from the Bible???)
New International Version (©1984)
So I commend the enjoyment of life, because nothing is better for a man under the sun than to eat and drink and be glad. Then joy will accompany him in his work all the days of the life God has given him under the sun.

Enjoy!

Polly

karenjoy

And I'll throw in a "when I was your age" comment (hey, us oldies just HAVE to do that, it's part of getting older!) -- when I was your age, as each different life experience happened to me, my eyes were opened to the many things my elders had experienced but I never really understood until it happened to me (relationships, marriage, kids, finances, aches and pains etc) and I gained a whole new respect for for those who had tried to tell me, but I never really paid attention.

OMG yes. When I open a phrase with 'When I was your age..' my wife hits me. Really hard. Apparently my mis-spent youth is not to be mentioned in the company of our children! :laugh:

Yes, oddly the drugs, drink and law breaking highly hilarious stories that you like to share are not the ones I want the children to think are acceptable behaviours, like I don't mention the stuff I did...

littlepinkhearts

i've always been a pretty understanding person. I can empathize with just about anyone. I don't fault people for their bad choices, lord knows i've made enough of my own. People have their own paths to travel and are more then likely coming from a different place then I am, so whatever works for them is fine with me so long it's not interfering with my plans. I try not to be set in my ways, although that's easier said then done. As soon as my 21 year old daughter comes around I fully realize how set in my ways I am despite my efforts to not be. The thing that's changed most for me probably is I just really couldn't care less what other people think about me. Unless they truly know me, which not many really do, then I refuse to waste my time on their petty judgements or conclusions about me. It matters not, at the end of my day. I don't have to prove anything to anyone, other then myself.

ohhhh and I should add, I got my nose pierced yesterday. Yayyyyy me and don't forget to live your life!!!!

littlepinkhearts

And for the record. I didn't technically violate your disclaimer because I'm offering criticism of your post/disclaimer, rather than thoughts on getting older specifically.

For the record, I still ignored you.

Bahahahahahahahaha!

As I get older, I wonder more & more why some folks can't just stfu. Really.

hahaha yes, this :laugh:

MaraDiaz

I am more understanding and less trusting. Since becoming an atheist I understand people much better. We are animals, and we do what we do to survive. Yes, we're socialized (too much, IMO!) but we're still animals, and everyone out there is just muddling along as best we can.

Which does NOT mean you should trust, or extend resources you cannot afford to expend, or any of that moral goody two shoes garbage. You're an animal too, don't feel ashamed of having to be selfish and greedy and whatever to survive.

But the Christians, for all that I think they're wrong, had one thing right. There but for the grace of God go I has truth to it. Don't feel superior just because you're in a better situation than someone else. You didn't get to pick the situation you were born into, or the intelligence and personality traits you were born with. Pride is foolish. Take what you can get if you want, but you're a fool if you feel you're entitled to it over anyone else.

Unknown

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