Backhanded compliment about my fatitude

sel254

I was 185lbs and a woman asked if I was pregnant, and even touched my stomach. I replied semi-rudely "NO, I'm just fat" and turned my back to walk away. I wanted to cry.

This happened to me when I was 185.

My reply: "Next month. When are you due?"

She soon shut up.

LilacDreamer

I am curious if other people have recieved backhanded compliments related to their weight. Mine was:

"Lain, I don't know how you fat. You don't eat fat people food."

Said years ago by a coworker was from mainland China. And he is right, I have always eaten healthy stuff. I hardly ever binge on the "fat people" food. The problem for me is to move enough to eat the amount of healthy stuff I want to in a day. (1800 to 2100 cals at day). *sigh*

I have been a vegetarian my entire life. I eat what people refer to as "rabbit food" yet these are by the same people who judge me for my weight

My cholesterol is fabulous (120), I'm not a diabetic, and the only health problems I have are things that I had no control over, from birth.

My mother in law, who I care very much about, told me a few weeks ago that the shirt I was wearing would look really good on me once I lost enough weight to have the body for it..I was flabbergasted. It was a regular shirt, nothing revealing, and my husband said I looked fine...her words hurt. a lot.

sarahmoo12

my sisters favourite to wind me up is "give us a jiggle of your belly" followed by her shaking my flab!!
She then goes im only joking your not "that" fat ...... O_o

thunderchld

I've had the "When are you due" comment.

My favorite comment was "I didn't realize you were that fat!". >_> thanks?

SyntonicGarden

I've gotten "you carry your weight well." So, my fat is shaped nicer than other people's? Yeah, okay.

This is a good thing. To me, it means "I hear the number you gave me, but you look thinner than what I imagine most people to be that weight to be." It's up there with a genuine "WOW! You're 37? You don't look it. Seriously, I thought you were in your mid-twenties."

And it's way better than my favorite, "Don't sweat your weight or your physique. You have birthing hips, which means it'll be easy if you ever have kids." I'll be sure put that on the tag when I launch my own clothing line for women with natural hourglass figures.

futuremalestripper

Ohhh, I totally ate fat people food to get this fat and it was glorious!

mamitosami

i've always exercised (including running and heavy weight lifting) and i've always had healthy food (i've always loved vegetables and grilled seafood and fruit), so yes i have gotten this A LOT during my journey into fattyville. people have even gone so far as to tell me i had a thyroid problem or hormonal issues even though i never have :laugh:

i dont necessarily think it's a backhanded compliment. i think some people just legitimately dont understand how weight gain and weight loss works. if you eat more calories than you need then you're going to gain weight. it's that simple.

just because i was burn 3000 calories a day through living and exercise isn't going to negate the fact that i ate 4000+ calories a day

I love your totally realistic view on this. You really take responsibility. Admirable.

As for OP, I have no idea how that even constitutes a compliment, backhanded or not. People are just insulting sometimes. We have to have thick skin sometimes!

StarvingDiva

OMG reading your post is funny. I went to college with a lot of girls from China and they are blunt. It's definitely a cultural thing, I remember at graduation one of them saying to my roommate that she looked fat in her dress, my roommate wasn't pleased and the girl couldn't understand why she was so upset.

joybedford

I went to visit my aunt 2 weeks after the birth of my twins. I walked into the room she immediately took a baby and then said "Oh my god are you sure they havnt left one in". I was so hurt i had just had twins weighing 7lb 4 and 7lb and they immediately expected me to be skinny. not the way it works.
Now i get all the time you are getting too skinny time to stop now. I am no where near skiny but they say things like your face looks drawn or your boobs are going. I also get asked if i am addicted to exercise they don,t get that someone can actually enjoy running. I tell them i will stop when I think I am at my target and will never stop exercising this has been a total lifestyle change.

StarvingDiva

I always got you have such a pretty face :mad: Okay I have other parts too guess they are not pretty as well :brokenheart:

Uggh I hate the pretty face one. I have gotten that as well.

mandi2r

Mine I think has to be,
"Don't worry, You're only fat because you had a baby"

Yeah... it was there before the baby. Plus I had the baby 16 months ago.. I don't think I can get away with that excuse anymore

jst4gp

OMG......... too funny!!!!!!!!!

StarvingDiva

My mother says things that I'm sure there is no malice behind but stings nonetheless.

I was leaving her house one night and she said "Oh you have a date tommorrow don't you wish you could lose like 10 more lbs"
To me that said I wasn't worthy of dating at the weight I was, obviously I wasn't going to lose 10 lbs in one day and the guy knew what I looked like it wasn't some blind date. So yeah that stung, she didn't mean it in the way that I took it, I know she knew how hard I was working to lose weight, but it hurt nonetheless.

StarvingDiva

A few hours ago while at a park with some ladies from Church I got, "Well those pants make you look slim but that brown skirt you wore last time made your butt look huge." She then goes on about how she was wondering if I was pregnant but that no, I must not be.

And then she proceeded to tell me about how she just lost 60 pounds because of her divorce (and honestly she probably needs to loose 150 more to be a healthy bmi). Thanks lady. Thanks for killing my buzz of only being 2 pounds from my goal weight.

Who says that to somebody anyway? I mean really? I'm 23.9 bmi currently and lower than I was in high school and YOU are going to tell me I look fat?

A friend of mine was at the grocery store and she's tall and thin but has a small pouch of a belly but by no means fat. This big fat lady in one of those scooter things rides up to her and tells her she shouldn't eat cheese and proceeds to tell her what WW products she should be buying to lose weight.

poledancing_ninja

It's not a backhanded compliment but when I was 14 a complete stranger came up to me in the street and said "Do you realise you're fat? You need to loose weight!" It was the middle aged woman and I still want to cry when I think about it even though I'm 23 now

llsand

Straight out if a doctors mouth at the end of a consultation (woman): “You’ve gained weight; it’s too bad, yet you’re so pretty” ( translated this from French so might've lost it's impact from the translation ). Looked at her straight in the eyes and said “so what’s the problem then?” Didn’t get an answer.

A couple of days ago a new co-worker of mine was informed that I’m on a diet, first thing out of his mouth “so before the diet it was cookies and candy all day” that got him a dry NO from me and dead silence from the other team mates. In his defence, I’m starting to think he’s a bona fide social idiot: when he learned that I was an immigrant, he asked very naively if I came on a boat...

BOLO4Hagtha

I've gotten "you carry your weight well." So, my fat is shaped nicer than other people's? Yeah, okay.

I've been told this too! And that I'm "tight, you don't jiggle like other fat people".....yeah....that was the most weird thing!

Erisad

I was 185lbs and a woman asked if I was pregnant, and even touched my stomach. I replied semi-rudely "NO, I'm just fat" and turned my back to walk away. I wanted to cry.

I got that when I was in middle school all the time. "When are you due?" My reply, "When you wise up and learn how to speak to a lady." Sooo...I guess I'm never having children then. :laugh:

StartingOver4Me

I've been told "You hide it well!!"

chickenrider

"You would be so pretty if you just lost some weight"

This makes me so mad! Yet, several people have said it.

kgprice11

I get called I have a pouch

Erisad

"You would be so pretty if you just lost some weight"

This makes me so mad! Yet, several people have said it.

I got this from my own grandma once. "I wish you could you lose weight so you can get a good boyfriend for a change." Well, I got a good boyfriend now and I'm nowhere near my goal. So nyeh. :P

Aes37850

My mom, yes everyone even my own mother says " oh my gosh! Your losing so much weight you look good, great! now I'm going to be the fatest one in the family. I'm so depressed" And for her that's a great compliment.O

maybe she can cheer up and get help from you! Make it a family thing!

katerinajulia

someone once told me "you would be gorgeous if you lost some weight."

susieq101178

Ohhh, I totally ate fat people food to get this fat and it was glorious!

Amen, brother . . . that it was . . .

10acity

my sisters favourite to wind me up is "give us a jiggle of your belly" followed by her shaking my flab!!
She then goes im only joking your not "that" fat ...... O_o

I mean, there are "backhanded compliments" and sometimes people are just clueless and put their feet in their mouths, but this is just straight-up demeaning. And from your sister? Seems pretty obvious to me that she has some major insecurity issues herself and thus feels the need to keep you down in order to make herself feel like she's better. If one of my sisters ever did anything even approaching that, I'd slap her. No problem. :bigsmile:

justal313

Whether you take these as backhanded compliments and feel the rest of us are being too sensitive or not, even if it's 100% true, people have no business talking about another person's fat. Period.

^^Abso-freakin-lutely.

It's hard enough being fat, but to ask questions and make remarks, whether they were intended as nice or not, still hurts. They're lucky I don't punch them in the face every time they ask me how kickboxing is going. :grumble:

Kick them in the face, it's more cinematic.

havingitall

A few decades ago...making out with a guy and he stops and tells me if I dropped weight, I would be gorgeous.

OK Buddy...nothing more for you.

LilGiselle21

When I was 13 I was in a 2 piece I saw some grown women talking about me I was only about 15 lbs over and very developed. Must say have work a 2 piece since.
The day I found out I was pregnant I got the are you pregnant thing I said yes but knew that it was because I was fat not from actually being pregnant.

That stuff still bothers me now.

lahstrand

People really like to comment about how short I am. I can't tell you how many meetings I've been in where I've stood up at the end and people will say "Oh my goodness. I didn't know you were so short when you were sitting! How tall are you?" When I say 4'10'' I often get a "My grandma/mom/cousin is the same height, but really petite" I can't tell you how many times I've heard that comparison..."you know that other short person. She's your height but really petite?" Thanks, I get it. I'm a pudgy short girl. I still shop in the petites!

When I was a kid/teen I took lots of dance classes. One time when I was 17 and probably 113 lbs, my dance teacher was watching me stretch. He said "phew, you need to be careful when you have kids. With that body shape and more weight we'd have to call you Miss laura saddlebags" The shocked looks on all of us made him realize what he said and he said this mumbled apology about how he was just trying to help me out....but he was right, 25 lbs later and my hips are huge. Too bad they weren't really birthing hips. My daugther got stuck and I ended up with a c section.