Guys need your opinions! Relationships?

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Anyaaaa11
Anyaaaa11 Posts: 242 Member
in Chit-Chat
I really need your opinions.. Serious replies only please.

So I think it's really weird when I see attractive men and they're with girls that are not attractive whatsoever and trashy at that. Then you have girls like me who are shy and conservative. Ya and I can't seem to find a guy or relationship.

I guess my question is are guys bothered by this? Am I not approachable? (not trying to be arrogant but, it's definitely not because I'm not attractive,).

Im just wondering what goes through your head when you see an attractive yet quiet and conservative woman?
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Replies

  • CaseyP1207
    CaseyP1207 Posts: 148 Member
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    From what I've seen on here you're amazing! Many guys are douche bags, straight up! Be patient!!!! Never settle for anything less than what you deserve!!!!
  • Anyaaaa11
    Anyaaaa11 Posts: 242 Member
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    Casey, your such a sweetheart! I wish there were more guys like you!(:
  • cyurt
    cyurt Posts: 37 Member
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    during school I was very shy and self consious. A lot of the time I was told it was not because I was unattractive, but because I didnt have ANY confidence. Once you gain that, you will see the changes. People will notice you. Be more open and have fun! Trust me I was going through the same thing!
  • CaseyP1207
    CaseyP1207 Posts: 148 Member
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    Casey, your such a sweetheart! I wish there were more guys like you!(:

    Thanks Anya!!! I'm just being real. Sometimes being single isn't easy; but I'd rather be single and happy than settle and miserable!!!!
  • gogophers
    gogophers Posts: 190 Member
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    I'm personally pretty shy, so I generally need some indication from a girl that she's interested in being approached. Even something as small as a smile at least lets me know that the girl MIGHT be interested in talking to me.

    It's difficult to say whether or not you're approachable since it really depends on how you act.

    Also, when is it that you're interested in being approached? If a girl goes to a bar and sits there alone I'd assume she'd be willing to chat, but if you go sit at a coffee shop with your computer, I'd personally need some other indication that I wouldn't be bothering you by trying to strike up a conversation.
  • LadyVivica
    LadyVivica Posts: 84 Member
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    You want a guy that will like you for YOU. I grew up with a clean lifestyle all my life and through college and didn't party, drink, or engage in illegal activities, so guys though I was a prewd and I never had a bf before cuz no one was interested. Guys growing up want what they see on tv and in music videos...easy "hott" women. But that is an immature mindset, most once guys get older, mid-20's they mature a bit (or get frustrated with bad relationships) and start looking for substance.

    You don't want a guy that is into those trashy women, it will only end in heartache and headache. Find someone who you can have fun with, laugh, watch movies, go hiking with...be happy with. =)
  • jcoppenh
    jcoppenh Posts: 8
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    I am guessing you are very shy and conservative because of the fact that you did not post your face in your profile picture [same here]. Please know, there is wrong with that. Personally I find it very attractive. Do not let men from "The Bar Scene" or "The Meat Market" at the Gym dictate how you should act or present yourself. You are not doing anything wrong until you change who you really are for someone else.
  • Anyaaaa11
    Anyaaaa11 Posts: 242 Member
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    That totally makes sense. You all make good points. I think the confidence thing is probably the main reason.. But I'm getting better! And I'm always smiling so that can't be it.
    I've dated a guy on and off for 6 years so I just feel like when a guy sees me he automatically thinks oh no she's looking for a long term relationship! RUN! Haha & I also am in college and don't drink or anything so I'm not "easy" like all the other women. But damn would I love to meet a genuine guy!
  • amandab1669
    amandab1669 Posts: 86 Member
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    From what I've seen on here you're amazing! Many guys are douche bags, straight up! Be patient!!!! Never settle for anything less than what you deserve!!!!

    I know that's right
  • scunningham2012
    scunningham2012 Posts: 159 Member
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    I was always shy and never dated until college. I had a good time and everyone got to know me when I was in school but I never looked. Then when I got to college there was this group of boys I always had a class with and one day they finally decided to talk to me. From then I started to date one of the boys and now we are getting married. :D Prince Charming will show his face, it just takes time!
  • mistylovesmusic
    mistylovesmusic Posts: 147
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    I've been out before with friends who have dates with them and they got hit on before I did. One with her date standing right beside her! I'm married and have no need to pick up a guy but gee wiz! A girl needs to feel attractive from time to time and that was a major blow to my self esteem. Good luck!
  • rainbowbow
    rainbowbow Posts: 7,490 Member
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    I know you said guys... but... I'd like to mention something I've heard a thousand times from men. The MOST attractive trait of a woman is confidence. Period.

    You say you are "shy" and "conservative". Do you come off as unsure of yourself or like you have low self esteem? :(
  • SWink06
    SWink06 Posts: 73 Member
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    I've always been quiet and shy. It was really hard for me to come out of my shell.

    I found out years later that a lot of men liked me, but were afraid to approach me. I guess my shyness gave a standoffish "don't come close" vibe.

    I had absolutely no idea.

    However, one man didn't let it stop him. We've been married for six years now. :)
  • Prettydoll589
    Prettydoll589 Posts: 45 Member
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    Dont worry about that! you are an amazing woman and the right guy is there for you. You just need to be patient, because GOD has some perfect for you! Be happy! :)
  • fraser112
    fraser112 Posts: 405
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    I really need your opinions.. Serious replies only please.

    So I think it's really weird when I see attractive men and they're with girls that are not attractive whatsoever and trashy at that. Then you have girls like me who are shy and conservative. Ya and I can't seem to find a guy or relationship.

    I guess my question is are guys bothered by this? Am I not approachable? (not trying to be arrogant but, it's definitely not because I'm not attractive,).

    Im just wondering what goes through your head when you see an attractive yet quiet and conservative woman?

    Personally shy people always come across as aragont to me like they are to good to talk to you.
    Making a little effort to smile is enough and makes you a bit more approchable, one word answers is a good example of the above.Dont do that haha

    Also dont go to bars to pull if you want a bf every guy i know rates woman as 2 species
    bar hoes who are good for some loving and GF material from work/hobbies ect
  • saxmaniac
    saxmaniac Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Im just wondering what goes through your head when you see an attractive yet quiet and conservative woman?

    Usually, "Wow, she's pretty - but she obviously doesn't want to talk to me, so I better leave her alone". This is what polite people do.

    I'm outgoing enough that I will strike up conversations with total strangers now, but that was not the case when I was in college. Back then, I would have to know you through some shared class or social group first, in order to approach you and talk. Even then, you'd have to give off a friendly vibe.

    The best thing you can do is learn how to act open and approachable, and most of that is tone of voice, eye contact, and body language. I spent a long time feeling "shy" and realizing that I put out serious vibes that said "stay away".
  • crisanderson27
    crisanderson27 Posts: 5,343 Member
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    I really need your opinions.. Serious replies only please.

    So I think it's really weird when I see attractive men and they're with girls that are not attractive whatsoever and trashy at that. Then you have girls like me who are shy and conservative. Ya and I can't seem to find a guy or relationship.

    I guess my question is are guys bothered by this? Am I not approachable? (not trying to be arrogant but, it's definitely not because I'm not attractive,).

    Im just wondering what goes through your head when you see an attractive yet quiet and conservative woman?

    Attractive, outwardly conservative, even shy women are actually my ideal. In a social situation I would smile at you...if you returned my smile and weren't running for the hills yet, I would definitely say hi.
  • gogophers
    gogophers Posts: 190 Member
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    I've been out before with friends who have dates with them and they got hit on before I did. One with her date standing right beside her! I'm married and have no need to pick up a guy but gee wiz! A girl needs to feel attractive from time to time and that was a major blow to my self esteem. Good luck!

    Did you have your wedding ring on :smile: ?
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
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    Maybe you are focusing on the wrong thing here. Don't worry about what guys think because it varries and most of it is disgusting :bigsmile: . What YOU can do is walk up to the guy and talk to them and then they will most likely be thinking, "Wow, this girl is pretty cool and POSSIBLY likes me. Maybe I should follow up on this?"

    Too expand on this, I think most of the time a guy is looking for eye contact and a smile as an opening to talk to a girl. If you give them that it kind of signals that you are receptive to them talking to you. If you don't give them that it is like saying, "Stay Away!"
  • Steve_Runs
    Steve_Runs Posts: 443 Member
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    what goes through my head? is she married?

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