Do people ever say this to you?

Amy_B

I've lost over 70 pounds, and I just got into the "overweight" BMI instead of the "obese" one. I get lots of compliments, but a lot of the people act like I don't need to lose anymore weight. I'm 5'4" and 174 pounds. That's still not healthy. I don't broadcast my weight to them, but I do mention that I have some more left to lose after thanking them for the compliment.

Why do people always say I (or you) don't need to lose more?

stef_e_b

I think a lot of people think we are just being self depreciating. They think they are furthering the compliment. I think its hard for people to say "yeah you do need to lose a bit more, good luck with that." I don't know if there's a tackful way to agree.

Shanta1983

I hear it all the TIME family friends co-workers if I had a buck everytime I hear that Ill be rich:bigsmile: :laugh:

LM12

Yep...I've been told "you'll be too skinny if you lose anymore weight" lol :huh:

courtney_love2001

I think it's more of a compliment. Maybe they were trying to say that you were really pretty before...or maybe people just don't know how to really respond. Anyway, I wouldn't take it as a negative thing...just be proud that they complimented you and thought you were beautiful before

PinkDog

Unfortunately I haven't heard that yet -- but I look forward to being out of the 'obese' category so i can! Lol!

--Pink

lose100

I think that a lot of it is the fact that (especially for you with 70 pounds lost), it's such a drastic change, that you look so much thinner to everyone, and it appears that you are healthy. I don't think it's always a bad thing. People before were just so used to seeing you overweight, and now they think you look great!

thumper44

I think you have to look at where these messages come from.

A family member is going to care, and think about your health. They might have heard stories about someone else who has lost weight the wrong way from some source, internet, tv, radio, friends, etc..

I co-worker, friend who is healthy, probably wouldn't say these things to you.
A co-worker, friend who is overweight, who says this, even thought they might care, would usually mean that they will not want to see you succeed furher.
Partial jealousy, and the fact they have no self control to succeed the same way you are.

Keep up the great work.
Just stick with what you are saying that you have more weight to lose.

czewwhat

I think that the " you don't need to lose any more " statement is just a way people get out of the awkward way of saying " yes you do need to lose more weight" gracefully! really how could someone say " I can see a big change and you are not there yet" without looking like an *kitten*.
Our society never taught us how to be tolerant of anything outside of the norm, so just smile and play along. I always say " I just want to be completely healthy" that way they don't fear I am starving myself and know I have a goal I am going to reach, I am just not there yet. Plus the gradual loss seen from doing it right is long slow but effective process and when people think we have no self control they want to be nice and give us permission to fail that way they can feel better about doing anything for themselves.

Keep it up! you are winning the battle! Just cover your ears and stop hearing the voices of others. hear your own voice and stay on the program! You rock.

Solko1983

I understand this comment! I have quite a ways ahead of me but if I told people my actual weight they were shocked. I think a lot of it could depend on how you carry your weight and what your fat to muscle ratio is. Some people do the courtesy comment and some may truely feel that you look good the way you are. Regardless, it's all about how happy you are with yourself.

arewethereyet

I've lost over 70 pounds, and I just got into the "overweight" BMI instead of the "obese" one. I get lots of compliments, but a lot of the people act like I don't need to lose anymore weight. I'm 5'4" and 174 pounds. That's still not healthy. I don't broadcast my weight to them, but I do mention that I have some more left to lose after thanking them for the compliment.

Why do people always say I (or you) don't need to lose more?

Personally, I think 2 different ways

1. They are just being nice
2. The difference is so vast from your before and after, that they percieve you as smaller.

I used to kid around that I wouldnt look so short if I didnt chose friends that were 6'1" !

When someone says that to me I always say That is the BEST compliment I have had all week!! :flowerforyou:

arewethereyet

Our society never taught us how to be tolerant of anything outside of the norm, so just smile and play along.

this reminded me of returning to a seasonal job as a waitress. I was gone for 6 months and gained 30 pounds.

As I entered all my American friends were saying how great I looked, what a great tan, how are the kids, your hair is pretty, is that a new uniform!!

Then came my Thai friend who says " OH you so FAT!!"

and my Haitian friend " Oh, I'm love you have lots food to eat!!"

They were not insulting me, their culture allows them to say the truth and verbalize reality.

I tell ya, it got ME on a diet!!! (that and that song " Jeannie got a big ol butt" was playing when I entered the kitchen!! :laugh: )

czewwhat

I have some friends who keep telling me, you look great, you should quit! we play feisty jokes on each other so I just spout back "If you think I look great then I want to know what your man thinks!" I laugh and say I am not gonna quit till He cant keep from staring! It is all in feisty fun! but they quit when they realize I am as serious as a heart attack about this!

If you read my profile you would know I won several titles when I was young, a real head turner one might say. I find no reason to not go back to that and love it! I just don't need the tiara any more! :laugh: :laugh:

Your results so far are fantastic, don't quit till you are the happy one in the room and everyone else is looking at their own waist line more seriously!

czewwhat

Our society never taught us how to be tolerant of anything outside of the norm, so just smile and play along.

Then came my Thai friend who says " OH you so FAT!!"

and my Haitian friend " Oh, I'm love you have lots food to eat!!"

: )

That reminds me of when my husband introduced me to his POPO (hawaiian grandma), we had been together about three years, he had gained about 30 pounds, She who had severely bad eyesight did not recognize him, till she heard his voice. A huge smile broke out on her face and her first words were""Oh, you got big" as she patted his broad shoulders! She had not seen him in 10 years as he moved to the mainland. This from a tiny 5'3" woman who went into the ocean every day for fish and could not weigh more than 90 pounds dripping wet! Hawaiians see size as prosperity! I guess culture does count!

Amy_B

Thanks for the replies, everyone! I think part of it is that it is a big difference from my starting weight, and I think the other part is that I try to wear clothes that don't make me look bigger than I am (anymore). Let me tell you that I love being able to shop just about anywhere and pick out just about anything to wear now!