Seems so easy to gain, yet so hard to lose...

boomrain

I'm sitting here after I just stuffed my face with 5 mini kit kats, having craved them all day yesterday, angry at myself and this whole life style situation that I am in. I'm going to the gym in a few hours to work out really hard so that I can eat a copious amount of Sushi and Lobster, Shrimp, Scallop and Filet Mignon stir fry at this Japanese Steakhouse for my girlfriend's Birthday. I couldn't be more excited about this.

Yet, I hate that I have to work so hard just to lose or even try to break even. Well, actually, I ate like complete crap this whole week and still managed to lose 1.5 pounds. How...I have no idea. The body is interesting. I'm mad it was so easy for me to gain weight, yet it is so much work to lose it and keep it off. Why does the body have to plateau after you've been doing a certain work out for so long? Why do we need to focus on every little thing that we're putting in our body and making sure it's the right amount? Checking labels and measuring portions? Why do we need to change up our workout routines and do extra things just so that we can lose weight, when we don't need to do anything but stuff our face to gain it? How come our bodies can't just plateau after gaining a certain amount of weight?

Meh, I'm just mad at myself for even being in this situation. It's no one's fault but my own and now I have to do all the work to get to a healthy weight. I'm annoyed that I have to work so hard to get the littlest of results. I'm trying to understand that I am only human...that this is a complete lifestyle change, not a temporary fix and that I am going to have setbacks. I'm going to have bad days and those are the days that are discouraging. At the same time, I've gotta realize that it's okay, as long as I get right back in it. It's all about just not giving up, right?!

Although it's only 1.5 pounds, it's days like today that make it seem like it will be all worth it in the end. I just have to force myself to see the bigger picture. I have to tell myself that 1 pound a week is the healthy way to lose weight. And I know that I am not the only one struggling, questioning, being discouraged and wanting so badly to give up. But, I'll keep pushing through all the grueling and tedious workouts so that one day I will get to my end goal.

I think I can, I think I can...I know I can. It just seems so far!! Such a long journey...I want to wake up and be there already.

leahartmann

Patience, patience, patience. You did great this weekend even though you had your girlfriends birthday. You really did!

I gained more than 40 pounds in a year. For so long, when I looked in the mirror, I felt like "this isn´t me!" I felt like it was something I was kind of wearing, that I could take it of when I wanted. But I couldn´t. It took me a while to look in the eyes that it was really ME. That the stranger in the mirror was me. That I had to do something to not end up like a ballon.

I really turned it around one day, I went into a second hand shop. Right there was the dress. THE dress. At a fair price. But to small.... I bought it and I keep it on the outside of my closet, to remind me of my goal and to motivate me. I don´t tell you to buy a dress you don´t fit in. I tell you to not lose your goal of sight. You have to stay focused. To remember why you are doing this. I know it sometimes are hard and you just want to give up. But you have gone so far! I know you work so hard. Really hard! And it´s worth it, you know that. But sometimes..... I´m not very diciplined, I don´t have the mental strength to work out like you do. I´m so impressed by you! I mean it! You´re a great motivation for me. You really are.

I don´t know what to say. You´re such a nice person. I wish I could support you more. You won´t give up, I´m sure of that. You´re to strong, wether you want to be or not.

And it´s ok to have some days off. I read a post today, where some told that they gave themselves a day off at week. I think it´s a good idea. (It gives me an excuse to eat some icecream.... ) Don´t kick yourself over it. Tell yourself that you work so hard every day, and you have a right to reward yourself once in a while. It´s not a disaster. A day off now and then is not such a problem, when someone work as hard as you do.

Weight or not, when I look at your profile picture, you look beautiful.

And I know it´s not fair that we have to work so hard to become more selfconfident. Before, I was very thin but unhealthy. Now I´m bigger, but healthy. I prefare that, in spite of all...... But we´ll both get there in time. Just don´t give up, even thoug it sometimes is so frustrating.

When you´re having a difficult day, write me! That´s what I´m there for.

boomrain

Thanks Leah!! You've been so amazing on my journey!! It's so nice to have someone who is so supportive and thoughtful! You have given me such great advice and I'm so thankful for that.