Foods that make you go POOP
Replies
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i just wanted to thank you all for your time, thoughts and concerns. i got a lot valuable information that i greatly appreciate. i'm so thrilled to know that myfitnesspal is filled with people who are supportive, that give the time of day, and who care about the well being of eachother.
after 5 days of no bowel movement, i had no choice but to give her an enema because when she sat on the toilet i could tell that she really was giving a sincere effort to try and push it out, but the blockage was too solid to pass on her own. when i gave her the enema (by pedia-lax) within minutes she was passing the blockage. i'm not kidding you it was more then a foot long with about 4 inch diameter, it was very painful for her to pass it but the enema was already taking it's effect. i hope i never again have to feel this hopeless as a parent, i just held onto her tight as she was passing it, we both were crying in the bathroom. after the "blockage" was passed a lot of soft bowel came after. so the laxatives we were giving her were taking a positive effect but it was only building up behind the solid blockage of compacted bowel. i know her holding it in was the cause of the solidifying of the bowel, so i really have to pay attention so that i make sure she's not holding it in anymore. i still believe above all that her reasoning for holding it in is purely psychological. i pay too close attention to her diet for it to be that reason. i sometimes wish it were dietary deficiency because it's easier to correct a dietary deficiency then it is to correct a psychological issue in a toddler.
i have to admit, i was so frustrated, i shouted a couple times, and i KNOW doing this only puts pressure on her, but as a desperate parent, i lost it, i never yell at my daughter and this was my first time. and now i'm filled with guilt because i realize she REALLY was trying her best, she was just blocked. it's true what they say about parenting and the hardest job in the world, especially being a young single mother who's working against all odds with no support.
to top everything off her fathers mother blamed me for her issue, *sarcasm* it's always sooo easy to blame the single struggling mother isn't it? that it was "my fault she would hold it in because she's potty training right now and i should leave her over at her home until she's completed potty training" - right now she primarly lives with her father and grandma due to financial issues i'm having (the grandma does more of the parenting then her father) so that when she comes to spend the days with me it "stresses her out and she holds it in". well, that's her theory but my answer to her was "well, if that's really the case then she needs to spend MORE time here and not less so she CAN feel comfortable" especially because she will be moving in with me in october. i get what she might be trying to state (consistency) but she's more then comfortable using the potty at my place as well and doesn't show signs of anxiety, she'll go pee on her own. and to say it's me, is rediculous when i go to pick her up she's already been holding it in for days. there are so many things she does here that she doesn't over there because they literally cater to her, and spoil her which they call "nurturing". i'm affectionate with my daughter and i'm proud of her and i let her know that, but i also know when and how to be stern and she obviously listens to my direction (things like drinking water over juice, eating her veggies and fruits, sleeping in her own bed, getting herself dressed) she's VERY independent and disciplined here.. beside the holding in the bowels, she really is the perfect child, i hope to get to the bottom of her issue. i'm so sorry and i know i'm going on and on, i just had a very hard few days, i just think to myself "this is how we spend our time together? feeling frustrated? tired? sluggish? constipated? upset? angry?" it's so unfair, so i'm keeping her longer then usual because i want to spend a day with her where we aren't addressing and obsessing over poo poo. i know it's a bit extravagant but i'm taking her to disneyland tomorrow to just have a good quality day of family fun. also to show her that i am proud of her for going poo in the toilet.
i'm just so tired of fighting this uphill battle, from the beginning her grandma has always threatened to try and take full custody of her, so i've basically been on best behavior otherwise she'd report every lil mistake to child services . PARENTS MAKE MISTAKES TOO but SOMEHOW that doesnt apply to me (btw, she loves to play the "her mother is a psycho card" since i was once diagnosed as manic depressive, it's awful, i've been off meds for years now! get over it!!) i admit my taste and lifestyle is a bit eccentric but what photographer isn't? yes i love alternative fashion and listen to "weirdo" music but i'm not abusive or manipulative in ANY way my daughter is a very positive, bright top of the class student! but her grandmother basically can't stand that i'm "different from all the other mothers". i'm not a cookie cutter mom at all, but i love my daughter til death and i make damn sure she knows it and i take care of her to the best of my ability, i may not have as much experience as her as a mother because i'm young, i didn't have a strong mother to take after but it's hard to live to someones expectations when theyre just waiting for the other shoe to drop. i just hope SOMEDAY she realizes that she's taken a lot of my joy away because i'm so worried "am i doing it right, is she going to challenge me in court, will i win" i can't wait til the day she can just back off. she has this notion that i'm going to just leave town and she'll never see my daughter again, where this plant was seeded, i have no idea because i myself know what it's like to grow up without the support of family and would NEVER create the same circumstance for my daughter. again, i'm so sorry this is a long rant for all to read (if youre still reading) but i have nobody to talk about this with and it's been sucha trying week. i'm just glad in the end, my daughter came to me and said "thank you mommy, the medicine worked and thank you for helping me go poo poo". of course! i cried!" i just hope her grandmother someday can have as much faith in me as my daughter does.
:sad:
.stephanie.0 -
i just wanted to thank you all for your time, thoughts and concerns. i got a lot valuable information that i greatly appreciate. i'm so thrilled to know that myfitnesspal is filled with people who are supportive, that give the time of day, and who care about the well being of eachother.
after 5 days of no bowel movement, i had no choice but to give her an enema because when she sat on the toilet i could tell that she really was giving a sincere effort to try and push it out, but the blockage was too solid to pass on her own. when i gave her the enema (by pedia-lax) within minutes she was passing the blockage. i'm not kidding you it was more then a foot long with about 4 inch diameter, it was very painful for her to pass it but the enema was already taking it's effect. i hope i never again have to feel this hopeless as a parent, i just held onto her tight as she was passing it, we both were crying in the bathroom. after the "blockage" was passed a lot of soft bowel came after. so the laxatives we were giving her were taking a positive effect but it was only building up behind the solid blockage of compacted bowel. i know her holding it in was the cause of the solidifying of the bowel, so i really have to pay attention so that i make sure she's not holding it in anymore. i still believe above all that her reasoning for holding it in is purely psychological. i pay too close attention to her diet for it to be that reason. i sometimes wish it were dietary deficiency because it's easier to correct a dietary deficiency then it is to correct a psychological issue in a toddler.
i have to admit, i was so frustrated, i shouted a couple times, and i KNOW doing this only puts pressure on her, but as a desperate parent, i lost it, i never yell at my daughter and this was my first time. and now i'm filled with guilt because i realize she REALLY was trying her best, she was just blocked. it's true what they say about parenting and the hardest job in the world, especially being a young single mother who's working against all odds with no support.
to top everything off her fathers mother blamed me for her issue, *sarcasm* it's always sooo easy to blame the single struggling mother isn't it? that it was "my fault she would hold it in because she's potty training right now and i should leave her over at her home until she's completed potty training" - right now she primarly lives with her father and grandma due to financial issues i'm having (the grandma does more of the parenting then her father) so that when she comes to spend the days with me it "stresses her out and she holds it in". well, that's her theory but my answer to her was "well, if that's really the case then she needs to spend MORE time here and not less so she CAN feel comfortable" especially because she will be moving in with me in october. i get what she might be trying to state (consistency) but she's more then comfortable using the potty at my place as well and doesn't show signs of anxiety, she'll go pee on her own. and to say it's me, is rediculous when i go to pick her up she's already been holding it in for days. there are so many things she does here that she doesn't over there because they literally cater to her, and spoil her which they call "nurturing". i'm affectionate with my daughter and i'm proud of her and i let her know that, but i also know when and how to be stern and she obviously listens to my direction (things like drinking water over juice, eating her veggies and fruits, sleeping in her own bed, getting herself dressed) she's VERY independent and disciplined here.. beside the holding in the bowels, she really is the perfect child, i hope to get to the bottom of her issue. i'm so sorry and i know i'm going on and on, i just had a very hard few days, i just think to myself "this is how we spend our time together? feeling frustrated? tired? sluggish? constipated? upset? angry?" it's so unfair, so i'm keeping her longer then usual because i want to spend a day with her where we aren't addressing and obsessing over poo poo. i know it's a bit extravagant but i'm taking her to disneyland tomorrow to just have a good quality day of family fun. also to show her that i am proud of her for going poo in the toilet.
i'm just so tired of fighting this uphill battle, from the beginning her grandma has always threatened to try and take full custody of her, so i've basically been on best behavior otherwise she'd report every lil mistake to child services . PARENTS MAKE MISTAKES TOO but SOMEHOW that doesnt apply to me (btw, she loves to play the "her mother is a psycho card" since i was once diagnosed as manic depressive, it's awful, i've been off meds for years now! get over it!!) i admit my taste and lifestyle is a bit eccentric but what photographer isn't? yes i love alternative fashion and listen to "weirdo" music but i'm not abusive or manipulative in ANY way my daughter is a very positive, bright top of the class student! but her grandmother basically can't stand that i'm "different from all the other mothers". i'm not a cookie cutter mom at all, but i love my daughter til death and i make damn sure she knows it and i take care of her to the best of my ability, i may not have as much experience as her as a mother because i'm young, i didn't have a strong mother to take after but it's hard to live to someones expectations when theyre just waiting for the other shoe to drop. i just hope SOMEDAY she realizes that she's taken a lot of my joy away because i'm so worried "am i doing it right, is she going to challenge me in court, will i win" i can't wait til the day she can just back off. she has this notion that i'm going to just leave town and she'll never see my daughter again, where this plant was seeded, i have no idea because i myself know what it's like to grow up without the support of family and would NEVER create the same circumstance for my daughter. again, i'm so sorry this is a long rant for all to read (if youre still reading) but i have nobody to talk about this with and it's been sucha trying week. i'm just glad in the end, my daughter came to me and said "thank you mommy, the medicine worked and thank you for helping me go poo poo". of course! i cried!" i just hope her grandmother someday can have as much faith in me as my daughter does.
:sad:
.stephanie.
what did you finally give her as a stool softener? Miralax, Olive oil, mineral oil? What worked the best, besides the Enema of course.0 -
Stephanie, your post made me :sad: :sad: :sad: .
First, don't let this evil woman make you think that she can just snatch your child away from you. You are her mother, you have parental rights. Being "outside of the box" and non-traditional in any way does NOT make you a danger or threat to your child. The courts do not want to remove your child from you if she is happy, well cared for, fed, and loved. Don't let that psycho hose beast worry you!! AND, having a mental disorder, past or present, is not necessarily a reason to remove a child from a parent either. If you are taking care of your child and no threat to her or yourself, that is almost irrelevant. Don't let that b*tch get to you!!
Focus on your daughter. (I know you do.) I'm glad you are taking her for a day of fun and relaxation for the two of you. I think you both deserve it.
I remember my mom yelling at me, frustrated, when I couldn't go on the toilet. But even as a kid, I knew she was upset FOR me, not AT me. :flowerforyou: Don't you worry -- all moms make mistakes. Lord knows I do too! But kids are forgiving and loving.
I wish you all the best, you and your little princess :smooched:0 -
Stephanie, enjoy your day at Disney! you and your DD both deserve it. I think that after she lives with you more you'll be able to work through this. Keep being a good momma! and don't listen to that woman.
:flowerforyou:0 -
There is nothing worse than someone who thinks they have all of the answers for our lives. None of us are perfect parents and we all do the best we can. Most of us are lucky enough not to have someone standing over us pointing out our faults-or what they perceive to be our faults. Glad that you had good results and hopefully you and your daughter will be able to conquer this. Best wishes to you. :drinker:i just wanted to thank you all for your time, thoughts and concerns. i got a lot valuable information that i greatly appreciate. i'm so thrilled to know that myfitnesspal is filled with people who are supportive, that give the time of day, and who care about the well being of eachother.
after 5 days of no bowel movement, i had no choice but to give her an enema because when she sat on the toilet i could tell that she really was giving a sincere effort to try and push it out, but the blockage was too solid to pass on her own. when i gave her the enema (by pedia-lax) within minutes she was passing the blockage. i'm not kidding you it was more then a foot long with about 4 inch diameter, it was very painful for her to pass it but the enema was already taking it's effect. i hope i never again have to feel this hopeless as a parent, i just held onto her tight as she was passing it, we both were crying in the bathroom. after the "blockage" was passed a lot of soft bowel came after. so the laxatives we were giving her were taking a positive effect but it was only building up behind the solid blockage of compacted bowel. i know her holding it in was the cause of the solidifying of the bowel, so i really have to pay attention so that i make sure she's not holding it in anymore. i still believe above all that her reasoning for holding it in is purely psychological. i pay too close attention to her diet for it to be that reason. i sometimes wish it were dietary deficiency because it's easier to correct a dietary deficiency then it is to correct a psychological issue in a toddler.
i have to admit, i was so frustrated, i shouted a couple times, and i KNOW doing this only puts pressure on her, but as a desperate parent, i lost it, i never yell at my daughter and this was my first time. and now i'm filled with guilt because i realize she REALLY was trying her best, she was just blocked. it's true what they say about parenting and the hardest job in the world, especially being a young single mother who's working against all odds with no support.
to top everything off her fathers mother blamed me for her issue, *sarcasm* it's always sooo easy to blame the single struggling mother isn't it? that it was "my fault she would hold it in because she's potty training right now and i should leave her over at her home until she's completed potty training" - right now she primarly lives with her father and grandma due to financial issues i'm having (the grandma does more of the parenting then her father) so that when she comes to spend the days with me it "stresses her out and she holds it in". well, that's her theory but my answer to her was "well, if that's really the case then she needs to spend MORE time here and not less so she CAN feel comfortable" especially because she will be moving in with me in october. i get what she might be trying to state (consistency) but she's more then comfortable using the potty at my place as well and doesn't show signs of anxiety, she'll go pee on her own. and to say it's me, is rediculous when i go to pick her up she's already been holding it in for days. there are so many things she does here that she doesn't over there because they literally cater to her, and spoil her which they call "nurturing". i'm affectionate with my daughter and i'm proud of her and i let her know that, but i also know when and how to be stern and she obviously listens to my direction (things like drinking water over juice, eating her veggies and fruits, sleeping in her own bed, getting herself dressed) she's VERY independent and disciplined here.. beside the holding in the bowels, she really is the perfect child, i hope to get to the bottom of her issue. i'm so sorry and i know i'm going on and on, i just had a very hard few days, i just think to myself "this is how we spend our time together? feeling frustrated? tired? sluggish? constipated? upset? angry?" it's so unfair, so i'm keeping her longer then usual because i want to spend a day with her where we aren't addressing and obsessing over poo poo. i know it's a bit extravagant but i'm taking her to disneyland tomorrow to just have a good quality day of family fun. also to show her that i am proud of her for going poo in the toilet.
i'm just so tired of fighting this uphill battle, from the beginning her grandma has always threatened to try and take full custody of her, so i've basically been on best behavior otherwise she'd report every lil mistake to child services . PARENTS MAKE MISTAKES TOO but SOMEHOW that doesnt apply to me (btw, she loves to play the "her mother is a psycho card" since i was once diagnosed as manic depressive, it's awful, i've been off meds for years now! get over it!!) i admit my taste and lifestyle is a bit eccentric but what photographer isn't? yes i love alternative fashion and listen to "weirdo" music but i'm not abusive or manipulative in ANY way my daughter is a very positive, bright top of the class student! but her grandmother basically can't stand that i'm "different from all the other mothers". i'm not a cookie cutter mom at all, but i love my daughter til death and i make damn sure she knows it and i take care of her to the best of my ability, i may not have as much experience as her as a mother because i'm young, i didn't have a strong mother to take after but it's hard to live to someones expectations when theyre just waiting for the other shoe to drop. i just hope SOMEDAY she realizes that she's taken a lot of my joy away because i'm so worried "am i doing it right, is she going to challenge me in court, will i win" i can't wait til the day she can just back off. she has this notion that i'm going to just leave town and she'll never see my daughter again, where this plant was seeded, i have no idea because i myself know what it's like to grow up without the support of family and would NEVER create the same circumstance for my daughter. again, i'm so sorry this is a long rant for all to read (if youre still reading) but i have nobody to talk about this with and it's been sucha trying week. i'm just glad in the end, my daughter came to me and said "thank you mommy, the medicine worked and thank you for helping me go poo poo". of course! i cried!" i just hope her grandmother someday can have as much faith in me as my daughter does.
:sad:
.stephanie.0 -
Stephanie-
Hang in there. October is just around the corner. Once she starts living in the same place and is secure in where her bed and home is things should get better.
My hubby and I have a friend who's exwife is the psyco-mom of the year. She took the kids and won't let him see them any more. He is going to court to get to see his kids again and force the ex to live up to their custody agreement. He looks like a beaten down animal with everything he has been going through. Point being- you are not alone in what you are going through. Unfortunately, it happens way too often.
Good luck and keep us updated with what's going on. You will always find people here who will listen and support you in your journey to have a healthy happy life.
JAM0 -
i just wanted to thank you all for your time, thoughts and concerns. i got a lot valuable information that i greatly appreciate. i'm so thrilled to know that myfitnesspal is filled with people who are supportive, that give the time of day, and who care about the well being of eachother.
after 5 days of no bowel movement, i had no choice but to give her an enema because when she sat on the toilet i could tell that she really was giving a sincere effort to try and push it out, but the blockage was too solid to pass on her own. when i gave her the enema (by pedia-lax) within minutes she was passing the blockage. i'm not kidding you it was more then a foot long with about 4 inch diameter, it was very painful for her to pass it but the enema was already taking it's effect. i hope i never again have to feel this hopeless as a parent, i just held onto her tight as she was passing it, we both were crying in the bathroom. after the "blockage" was passed a lot of soft bowel came after. so the laxatives we were giving her were taking a positive effect but it was only building up behind the solid blockage of compacted bowel. i know her holding it in was the cause of the solidifying of the bowel, so i really have to pay attention so that i make sure she's not holding it in anymore. i still believe above all that her reasoning for holding it in is purely psychological. i pay too close attention to her diet for it to be that reason. i sometimes wish it were dietary deficiency because it's easier to correct a dietary deficiency then it is to correct a psychological issue in a toddler.
i have to admit, i was so frustrated, i shouted a couple times, and i KNOW doing this only puts pressure on her, but as a desperate parent, i lost it, i never yell at my daughter and this was my first time. and now i'm filled with guilt because i realize she REALLY was trying her best, she was just blocked. it's true what they say about parenting and the hardest job in the world, especially being a young single mother who's working against all odds with no support.
to top everything off her fathers mother blamed me for her issue, *sarcasm* it's always sooo easy to blame the single struggling mother isn't it? that it was "my fault she would hold it in because she's potty training right now and i should leave her over at her home until she's completed potty training" - right now she primarly lives with her father and grandma due to financial issues i'm having (the grandma does more of the parenting then her father) so that when she comes to spend the days with me it "stresses her out and she holds it in". well, that's her theory but my answer to her was "well, if that's really the case then she needs to spend MORE time here and not less so she CAN feel comfortable" especially because she will be moving in with me in october. i get what she might be trying to state (consistency) but she's more then comfortable using the potty at my place as well and doesn't show signs of anxiety, she'll go pee on her own. and to say it's me, is rediculous when i go to pick her up she's already been holding it in for days. there are so many things she does here that she doesn't over there because they literally cater to her, and spoil her which they call "nurturing". i'm affectionate with my daughter and i'm proud of her and i let her know that, but i also know when and how to be stern and she obviously listens to my direction (things like drinking water over juice, eating her veggies and fruits, sleeping in her own bed, getting herself dressed) she's VERY independent and disciplined here.. beside the holding in the bowels, she really is the perfect child, i hope to get to the bottom of her issue. i'm so sorry and i know i'm going on and on, i just had a very hard few days, i just think to myself "this is how we spend our time together? feeling frustrated? tired? sluggish? constipated? upset? angry?" it's so unfair, so i'm keeping her longer then usual because i want to spend a day with her where we aren't addressing and obsessing over poo poo. i know it's a bit extravagant but i'm taking her to disneyland tomorrow to just have a good quality day of family fun. also to show her that i am proud of her for going poo in the toilet.
i'm just so tired of fighting this uphill battle, from the beginning her grandma has always threatened to try and take full custody of her, so i've basically been on best behavior otherwise she'd report every lil mistake to child services . PARENTS MAKE MISTAKES TOO but SOMEHOW that doesnt apply to me (btw, she loves to play the "her mother is a psycho card" since i was once diagnosed as manic depressive, it's awful, i've been off meds for years now! get over it!!) i admit my taste and lifestyle is a bit eccentric but what photographer isn't? yes i love alternative fashion and listen to "weirdo" music but i'm not abusive or manipulative in ANY way my daughter is a very positive, bright top of the class student! but her grandmother basically can't stand that i'm "different from all the other mothers". i'm not a cookie cutter mom at all, but i love my daughter til death and i make damn sure she knows it and i take care of her to the best of my ability, i may not have as much experience as her as a mother because i'm young, i didn't have a strong mother to take after but it's hard to live to someones expectations when theyre just waiting for the other shoe to drop. i just hope SOMEDAY she realizes that she's taken a lot of my joy away because i'm so worried "am i doing it right, is she going to challenge me in court, will i win" i can't wait til the day she can just back off. she has this notion that i'm going to just leave town and she'll never see my daughter again, where this plant was seeded, i have no idea because i myself know what it's like to grow up without the support of family and would NEVER create the same circumstance for my daughter. again, i'm so sorry this is a long rant for all to read (if youre still reading) but i have nobody to talk about this with and it's been sucha trying week. i'm just glad in the end, my daughter came to me and said "thank you mommy, the medicine worked and thank you for helping me go poo poo". of course! i cried!" i just hope her grandmother someday can have as much faith in me as my daughter does.
:sad:
.stephanie.
what did you finally give her as a stool softener? Miralax, Olive oil, mineral oil? What worked the best, besides the Enema of course.
miralax. but i also gave her a tablespoon of olive oil0 -
Stephanie, your post made me :sad: :sad: :sad: .
First, don't let this evil woman make you think that she can just snatch your child away from you. You are her mother, you have parental rights. Being "outside of the box" and non-traditional in any way does NOT make you a danger or threat to your child. The courts do not want to remove your child from you if she is happy, well cared for, fed, and loved. Don't let that psycho hose beast worry you!! AND, having a mental disorder, past or present, is not necessarily a reason to remove a child from a parent either. If you are taking care of your child and no threat to her or yourself, that is almost irrelevant. Don't let that b*tch get to you!!
Focus on your daughter. (I know you do.) I'm glad you are taking her for a day of fun and relaxation for the two of you. I think you both deserve it.
I remember my mom yelling at me, frustrated, when I couldn't go on the toilet. But even as a kid, I knew she was upset FOR me, not AT me. :flowerforyou: Don't you worry -- all moms make mistakes. Lord knows I do too! But kids are forgiving and loving.
I wish you all the best, you and your little princess :smooched:
awww. thank you for the support, i could use all i can get. it's nice to know someones on my side. i know it's going to take a lot for the courts to try and take children away from their parents say like evidence of physical abuse, mal-nutrition etc. and Milla (my daughter) is nowhere near that. i come from an abusive past and i still don't know how my father was able to strike me in sucha way and feel good about himself. i feel guilty just for shouting. it just kinda gets annoying, and i literally get anxiety attacks when i have to face that part of her family. i try real hard to hold a lot in because i'm very vocal about my emotions and my opinions, but i guess i'm afraid everything can and will be used against my case. Milla's coming to live with me permanantly in October and I really can't wait for the responsibility. funny thing is, i'm being held accountable for every breath i take, yet she's simply ok with her son not having anything but a friend-like role in my daughters life, absolutely no responsibility. i know how parents are with their children, always wanting to shield them, but if i had a son who wasn't stepping up i would take measures, not encourage his behaviors. am i right?
anyway, milla and i had a good time at disney the other day, she even went poo poo while at the park (mostly due to the laxatives) but it was good that she was able to see that it's ok to go poo poo in pubilc places.
.s.0 -
Stephanie, enjoy your day at Disney! you and your DD both deserve it. I think that after she lives with you more you'll be able to work through this. Keep being a good momma! and don't listen to that woman.
:flowerforyou:
thank you for your support!! i so greatly appreciate it!
.s.0 -
There is nothing worse than someone who thinks they have all of the answers for our lives. None of us are perfect parents and we all do the best we can. Most of us are lucky enough not to have someone standing over us pointing out our faults-or what they perceive to be our faults. Glad that you had good results and hopefully you and your daughter will be able to conquer this. Best wishes to you. :drinker:i just wanted to thank you all for your time, thoughts and concerns. i got a lot valuable information that i greatly appreciate. i'm so thrilled to know that myfitnesspal is filled with people who are supportive, that give the time of day, and who care about the well being of eachother.
after 5 days of no bowel movement, i had no choice but to give her an enema because when she sat on the toilet i could tell that she really was giving a sincere effort to try and push it out, but the blockage was too solid to pass on her own. when i gave her the enema (by pedia-lax) within minutes she was passing the blockage. i'm not kidding you it was more then a foot long with about 4 inch diameter, it was very painful for her to pass it but the enema was already taking it's effect. i hope i never again have to feel this hopeless as a parent, i just held onto her tight as she was passing it, we both were crying in the bathroom. after the "blockage" was passed a lot of soft bowel came after. so the laxatives we were giving her were taking a positive effect but it was only building up behind the solid blockage of compacted bowel. i know her holding it in was the cause of the solidifying of the bowel, so i really have to pay attention so that i make sure she's not holding it in anymore. i still believe above all that her reasoning for holding it in is purely psychological. i pay too close attention to her diet for it to be that reason. i sometimes wish it were dietary deficiency because it's easier to correct a dietary deficiency then it is to correct a psychological issue in a toddler.
i have to admit, i was so frustrated, i shouted a couple times, and i KNOW doing this only puts pressure on her, but as a desperate parent, i lost it, i never yell at my daughter and this was my first time. and now i'm filled with guilt because i realize she REALLY was trying her best, she was just blocked. it's true what they say about parenting and the hardest job in the world, especially being a young single mother who's working against all odds with no support.
to top everything off her fathers mother blamed me for her issue, *sarcasm* it's always sooo easy to blame the single struggling mother isn't it? that it was "my fault she would hold it in because she's potty training right now and i should leave her over at her home until she's completed potty training" - right now she primarly lives with her father and grandma due to financial issues i'm having (the grandma does more of the parenting then her father) so that when she comes to spend the days with me it "stresses her out and she holds it in". well, that's her theory but my answer to her was "well, if that's really the case then she needs to spend MORE time here and not less so she CAN feel comfortable" especially because she will be moving in with me in october. i get what she might be trying to state (consistency) but she's more then comfortable using the potty at my place as well and doesn't show signs of anxiety, she'll go pee on her own. and to say it's me, is rediculous when i go to pick her up she's already been holding it in for days. there are so many things she does here that she doesn't over there because they literally cater to her, and spoil her which they call "nurturing". i'm affectionate with my daughter and i'm proud of her and i let her know that, but i also know when and how to be stern and she obviously listens to my direction (things like drinking water over juice, eating her veggies and fruits, sleeping in her own bed, getting herself dressed) she's VERY independent and disciplined here.. beside the holding in the bowels, she really is the perfect child, i hope to get to the bottom of her issue. i'm so sorry and i know i'm going on and on, i just had a very hard few days, i just think to myself "this is how we spend our time together? feeling frustrated? tired? sluggish? constipated? upset? angry?" it's so unfair, so i'm keeping her longer then usual because i want to spend a day with her where we aren't addressing and obsessing over poo poo. i know it's a bit extravagant but i'm taking her to disneyland tomorrow to just have a good quality day of family fun. also to show her that i am proud of her for going poo in the toilet.
i'm just so tired of fighting this uphill battle, from the beginning her grandma has always threatened to try and take full custody of her, so i've basically been on best behavior otherwise she'd report every lil mistake to child services . PARENTS MAKE MISTAKES TOO but SOMEHOW that doesnt apply to me (btw, she loves to play the "her mother is a psycho card" since i was once diagnosed as manic depressive, it's awful, i've been off meds for years now! get over it!!) i admit my taste and lifestyle is a bit eccentric but what photographer isn't? yes i love alternative fashion and listen to "weirdo" music but i'm not abusive or manipulative in ANY way my daughter is a very positive, bright top of the class student! but her grandmother basically can't stand that i'm "different from all the other mothers". i'm not a cookie cutter mom at all, but i love my daughter til death and i make damn sure she knows it and i take care of her to the best of my ability, i may not have as much experience as her as a mother because i'm young, i didn't have a strong mother to take after but it's hard to live to someones expectations when theyre just waiting for the other shoe to drop. i just hope SOMEDAY she realizes that she's taken a lot of my joy away because i'm so worried "am i doing it right, is she going to challenge me in court, will i win" i can't wait til the day she can just back off. she has this notion that i'm going to just leave town and she'll never see my daughter again, where this plant was seeded, i have no idea because i myself know what it's like to grow up without the support of family and would NEVER create the same circumstance for my daughter. again, i'm so sorry this is a long rant for all to read (if youre still reading) but i have nobody to talk about this with and it's been sucha trying week. i'm just glad in the end, my daughter came to me and said "thank you mommy, the medicine worked and thank you for helping me go poo poo". of course! i cried!" i just hope her grandmother someday can have as much faith in me as my daughter does.
:sad:
.stephanie.
yeah you hit the nail right on the head, "there is nothing worse than someone who thinks they have all the answers for our lives". lesson LEARNED. ahahahaha. thank you!!!
.s.0 -
Stephanie-
Hang in there. October is just around the corner. Once she starts living in the same place and is secure in where her bed and home is things should get better.
My hubby and I have a friend who's exwife is the psyco-mom of the year. She took the kids and won't let him see them any more. He is going to court to get to see his kids again and force the ex to live up to their custody agreement. He looks like a beaten down animal with everything he has been going through. Point being- you are not alone in what you are going through. Unfortunately, it happens way too often.
Good luck and keep us updated with what's going on. You will always find people here who will listen and support you in your journey to have a healthy happy life.
JAM
thank you very much for the support. i really hope and will pray that your friend no longer has to deal with this situation and that the courts serve him justice. you're so right, it happens way too often, the same thing happened to my father and his ex wife, she moved outta state with the children and he never saw them again. i just kinda wish if it were happening, it were happening between me and her father and not his mother. i don't understand her, perhaps never will, i'm not a manipulator, a cheater, liar or someone that will pretend to be on your side when you are at your worst point and then end up later using it against you. those are all things she's done to me, and i consider myself more pure hearted then that. i don't know what kind of sick pleasure she gets out of making things difficult for me, especially since she claims to lover her grand-daughter so much.
.s.0 -
I have a degree in early childhood education and a minor in child development. I have worked in a daycare and school setting so I have some experience.
I was wondering if you have discussed this with her pre-school teachers and maybe even the director? I wonder if something is going on at school that is making her feel ashamed to go number 2. It could be the teachers or the other children ( or neither). It is hard to say but it just seems really strange that a child so young would be so ashamed to perform a normal bodily function. Maybe her teachers could really work with you and make it a positive and exciting thing for her to go poop in the potty. Then you could celebrate it at home or she could get stickers on a special paper at school when she goes and then she can show it to you when you pick her up at school.
I would also really consider seeking a child psychologist's thoughts on this matter because it seems to be getting pretty serious. It seems that this type of doctor would find the main source which is very important in a child's development. Yes, you can use juice etc to help her go but that won't really get to the main reason she is doing this.
I really hope that you can get to the bottom of this soon because I know how hard it must be for you to watch your daughter go through this.
Once again these are just some thoughts from a different perspective. I don't mean to offend you in anyway!
^ Totally agree with this, it doesn't seem to be a physical problem with your daughter just psychological, go to her school and talk to the teachers, try and find out if somethings going on.0 -
I think you should read this article about fibre and how it contributes to constipation. I was in a similar boat to your daughter, and the less fibre I eat, the less constipation I have:
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3435786/0 -
i"m going to go against the grain with the fiber advice. I read a book called "Fiber Menace", and altered my diet based on its' recommendations, and it was one of the best things I've done to keep myself very regular, with no strain. In the book, the doctor says that going #2 should be as easy as peeing, with no straining needed whatsoever.
He actually calls for a gradual reduction in fiber from grains and veggies, and to increase potassium, magnesium, vitamin c and fat in your diet. Best advice ever!! I know it sounds like quackery, since we've been taught differently our entire lives, but seriously, search for the book on Amazon. Read alllllll the reviews from people who followed the book's advice, and the vast majority of them all say the exact same thing.0 -
All of it. I poop a lot.0
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I did the same thing as a kid!
My parents would sneak raisins in my peanut butter sandwiches! Or make me drink a glass of water before leaving the house, sometimes that does the trick!0 -
Taco Bell0
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Wow!
Take her to a child psychologist, please.0 -
You guys realise this thread is from 2009...?0
This discussion has been closed.
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