I cant do moderation
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I think we all have weaknesses. It's obvious that you have to make a change because you keep doing the same thing over and over. You've come to the right place. Lots of great people here to give you different points of view. Anyhoo, I'm an all or nothing kind of girl, but have found some tricks to help avoid the bingeing.
I'm a goal oriented type person. I write down my goals-daily, weekly, monthly yearly and I make sure that I tell people too. I also make sure I know what I'm going to eat for my next meal. I eat 5 meals a day to keep me feeling full longer which helps those binges and I also make sure to eat carbs, protein and fat with each meal. I do have one square of 85% dark chocolate for when I have a craving and I will have have brown bag popcorn if I'm craving salt. I also have a cheat meal on the weekend, but the biggest key I think is to make sure you have a variety of foods every day. I used to eat the same stuff every day, but variety made a huge difference. Remember, this is what works for me and may not work for you as well as what others have suggested. You'll just have to pick and choose.
I did come across a book that might be of use to you. It's 'Brain over Binge', if we can't control our eating then obviously there is a psychological/underlying issue. I know you will get through this and be stronger for it. Best of luck.0 -
I eat ice cream with my husband and kids. They have a their's in a cup ~ I have mine in a silver condiment cup.
I eat chips with the family. I put some on theirs ~ I count out six for me.
I eat hamburgers with them ~ I cut mine in 1/2 eat 1/2 and either throw the other half away or put it away for later.
I find it quite wasteful that you would throw it away, why would you purposely throw food away. Just keep it for later more, or freeze the rest.
Everyone CAN have just one slice of cake, not doing so is not 'a personality trait' or something you HAVE to do, its just daft and unnecessary. Would you ever say you couldnt just have ONE partner, you had to have more. i imagine not, so why is food any different.
I disagree. Certain personality traits do force you to act a certain way...coined in psychiatry. just sayin'. Obviously its up to me to stop myself and I CAN...but it is hard to.
You CAN, go for it. Anything worth having is usually hard
And no, they dont 'force' you to act in a certain way, they make you more predisposed to act in a certain way, but they dont puppeteer you, the same way as your genetics dont.0 -
Will power is def a problem when the junk is sitting in front of me. So I just cant buy the stuff. I do keep Hershey Kisses on hand for a chocolate craving, they arent my favorite so that way I wont eat too many of them. My poor hubby & kids all they get is healthy snacks, low fat this & low fat that along w/their fruit & veggies ... lol. They will thank me at some point
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^^^This! I think there's some truth to this for you to consider. Perhaps your are not consuming enough cals., which can contribute to bingeing. There's no reason to feel deprived, IMHO.
If you think you are fat weighing 145lbs at 5' 6", then I think you might have body dysmorphia.I usually have the same pattern of weight gain:
skinny --- > getting busy in life ---> stops working out ---- > starts eating crap ---->fat
>x REPEAT
Sure, you might not be as toned as you want to be, but if you are swaying regularly between 132-145 lbs then that seems fairly "normal" weight range for someone of your height and age. Of course I don't know you personally or your build, but your profile pics certainly wouldn't suggest you have any serious weight issues.
When I was in my 20s I thought I was fat - I was certainly a few lbs over-weight and I didn't do any strength training so I was squidgy and never toned, but because I believed I was fat, when I did start to pile on the lbs, it didn't register because I had convinced myself I was a whale. It's taken me a lot of effort to lose 60lbs and I need to lose another 30 to get to a normal weight.
I think you need some positive reinforcement to make you aware of how wonderful you are and stop believing you are fat.0 -
i guess it is OK to let loose sometimes, but...how long this 'eat whatever you what' phase lasts. In my case it was approximately 4ish months...and that is all it took for serious damage to be done! I still fit my clothes from before, which is why I didn't quite realize how much weight I had put on...until i stepped on the scale.
I could have written the same thing. I go through phases that cycle approx 4-5 months or so. My current phase is gummy candy-I can't eat just 10 peices, I eat the whole friggin' bag from the bulk candy section, until I feel stuffed and uncomfortable. I can't sleep that night because of all the sugar, and mentally beat myself up the next morning, vowing to never do it again. But a day or two later, I have that urge...and off I go.
I put on ten lbs this way and need to put this to an end right now.
Before this habit, I had a good couple months where my sweet tooth was satisfied by sugar free jello or a piece of dark chocolate. But last year, I was doing the same thing with ice cream. Heaping scoops topped with chocolate sauce and whipped cream.
My husband always tells me "stop beating yourself up. It's ok in moderation". Yea, if I could moderate, which it seems I can't. So it looks like I'm an abstainer too.0 -
I am the same way I can't just eat a piece or two of something. And if I try I sit there just wanting more and feeling bad that I can't.0
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I think the reason most of us are here is because of an unhealthy relationship with food. I cannot be left alone with a box of Kraft Macaroni and cheese. As disgusting as that stuff is (if you read the ingredients on the label) I can eat an entire box in one sitting. I ate it yesterday for lunch because that's what my son wanted to eat, and it was hard not to stand there and eat spoonfuls of it out of the pot. I have decided that once it's gone, I'm not buying it anymore. I can't control myself around that stuff. If you recognize that there are certain foods that you just can't do it moderation- great!! Then you know you can avoid them. Is the temporary pleasure of eating chocolate, ice cream, or Kraft Macaroni and cheese worth those extra 10 pounds or that stuffed, uncomfortable feeling you get when you overindulge?0
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I usually have the same pattern of weight gain:
skinny --- > getting busy in life ---> stops working out ---- > starts eating crap ---->fat
>x REPEAT
Me to a T...although I never quite seem to make it to "Skinny" I get to just under "Hey look my BMI's under 25!" I have some serious "FML" going on over the last few years and it's made my eating habits more destructive then usual.0 -
This is me! I can lose weight easily and eat totally healthy stuff but as soon as I reach my goal weight I'm back to eating junk. I can't ever just eat ONE cupcake, I have to have 2-3 at a time or ONE cookie etc. I eat way too much junk and fast food. I'm really hoping I can work on changing this about myself I'm so tired of dieting Lol0
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totally not worth it. now I realize it...... when I'm binging i'm thinking 'to hell wit the the world or weight or size'0
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i don't have any self control either. that is why low carb is perfect for me. no cheating!0
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I used to be a chocoholic. I *had* to have at least two or three bars of chocolate a day, and if I couldn't get my fix, then anyone who crossed my path was in deep trouble. I could easily have demolished a 1kg bar of Dairy Milk in one sitting... yes I really was that bad. That was years ago though, and I've learned a lot of self control since then.
It sounds slightly unhinged, but I have found that I get great satisfaction in controlling the substances that try to control me. I've successfully kicked a nicotine addiction to the kerb, and even gave up caffeine for 6 months when I realised that I was no longer choosing to have a morning cup of tea - I *had* to have a morning cup of tea.
I don't deny myself chocolate, but I don't give in to my cravings either. Though having said that, my chocolate cravings have actually disappeared. It really is all psychological and you can learn to bring it to heel. Also, by only having a little bit maybe once a month, I've found that I enjoy it that little bit more. It becomes that much more special and I savour it, rather than scoffing it and wanting more. I've got 2 easter eggs still sitting at home because I haven't had the urge to eat them, which my family finds hard to believe because they remember what I was like in the past :laugh:0 -
I've lost over 50lbs and still have a ways to go, but the way I cut the cravings was to go cold turkey at first and gradually add things back to my diet. Since I love to bake, I'll bake and take maybe 2 or 3 cookies out, and the rest go to my coworkers and friends. Needless to say people at work and my friends love me!! Sometimes it also helps to buy the singles from the store even if it's more expensive than the larger package (i.e. 1 piece of candy instead of a bag of candy). Hope this helps!0
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I forgot to mention that the more 'junk' food you eat the more you are going to crave it. I would just recommend eating as clean as possible and treat yourself with your indulgences/trigger foods/weaknesses once a week. That way you aren't giving up what it is you like.0
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I can relate to what you have said however, I really think I had just convinced myself it was true. When I made up my mind to give up every food rule I ever followed in the past and just commit to keeping track and logging in daily to a calorie goal I found out I actually could eat smaller portions of something I used to go crazy on. I could actually have only one piece of chocolate instead of a whole box.
Just being aware of the fact I would have to log it in and trying to balance my day to a caloric goal keeps me thinking. Yes, I can have a piece of chocolate if I only eat less of this or I don't waste calories on that. I realize I have much more control over my decisions than I ever gave myself credit for.
I once went an entire year and not one meal ever included anything with white flour or sugar added because I was so convinced if I even had one taste I would lose all control. I do think junk food does not nourish your body so you continue to want eat but, if you balance a good diet with a few treats now and again you might surprise yourself too.0 -
The fact that you are using language like "binging" tells me you have an irrational and unhealthy attitude to food and you need to break that cycle.totally not worth it. now I realize it...... when I'm binging i'm thinking 'to hell wit the the world or weight or size'
You probably don't binge at all (sure you might eat a whole tub of ice cream or packet of crisps/chips) but binging would be an evening where you'd consume maybe 5-6000 Calories in junk and if your heaviest weight is 145 lbs that's unlikely unless you're bulimic.
I would discuss this issue with a student counsellor. It might something or nothing to worry about, but there is a big difference with having a blow out and going on a serious binge.0 -
I eat ice cream with my husband and kids. They have a their's in a cup ~ I have mine in a silver condiment cup.
I eat chips with the family. I put some on theirs ~ I count out six for me.
I eat hamburgers with them ~ I cut mine in 1/2 eat 1/2 and either throw the other half away or put it away for later.
I find it quite wasteful that you would throw it away, why would you purposely throw food away. Just keep it for later more, or freeze the rest.
Everyone CAN have just one slice of cake, not doing so is not 'a personality trait' or something you HAVE to do, its just daft and unnecessary. Would you ever say you couldnt just have ONE partner, you had to have more. i imagine not, so why is food any different.
You mgiht find it wasteful that I would throw it away ~ but sometimes it's better to chunk in the trash rather then down my throat. I am not a trash digger, but I have been known to eat too much from time to time. (HA!) A lot of times someone in the family will eat it, but for me ~ it's not an option. I know that I only need 1/2 (most days).0 -
The fact that you are using language like "binging" tells me you have an irrational and unhealthy attitude to food and you need to break that cycle.totally not worth it. now I realize it...... when I'm binging i'm thinking 'to hell wit the the world or weight or size'
You probably don't binge at all (sure you might eat a whole tub of ice cream or packet of crisps/chips) but binging would be an evening where you'd consume maybe 5-6000 Calories in junk and if your heaviest weight is 145 lbs that's unlikely unless you're bulimic.
I would discuss this issue with a student counsellor. It might something or nothing to worry about, but there is a big difference with having a blow out and going on a serious binge.
I do BINGE haha.... I did consume 5000-6000 calories at a go..many times. Included ice cream...6-7 chocolate bars...packs of chocolate chip cookies etc etc some savoury food to balance out the rest. I have a real problem.....student counselor? lol I'm not even a student any more 0 -
I used to be a chocoholic. I *had* to have at least two or three bars of chocolate a day, and if I couldn't get my fix, then anyone who crossed my path was in deep trouble. I could easily have demolished a 1kg bar of Dairy Milk in one sitting... yes I really was that bad. That was years ago though, and I've learned a lot of self control since then.
It sounds slightly unhinged, but I have found that I get great satisfaction in controlling the substances that try to control me. I've successfully kicked a nicotine addiction to the kerb, and even gave up caffeine for 6 months when I realised that I was no longer choosing to have a morning cup of tea - I *had* to have a morning cup of tea.
I don't deny myself chocolate, but I don't give in to my cravings either. Though having said that, my chocolate cravings have actually disappeared. It really is all psychological and you can learn to bring it to heel. Also, by only having a little bit maybe once a month, I've found that I enjoy it that little bit more. It becomes that much more special and I savour it, rather than scoffing it and wanting more. I've got 2 easter eggs still sitting at home because I haven't had the urge to eat them, which my family finds hard to believe because they remember what I was like in the past :laugh:
I suppose you've probably found they've mostly disappeared because you stopped having it. Im not being snarky saying this, but theres no such thing as a 'chocoholic', scientifically. Its more than likely that you had a high reliance of sugar and since you have stopped eating as much dont want t anymore, which Im sure you know anyway.
Good on you for changing your habits .0 -
I eat ice cream with my husband and kids. They have a their's in a cup ~ I have mine in a silver condiment cup.
I eat chips with the family. I put some on theirs ~ I count out six for me.
I eat hamburgers with them ~ I cut mine in 1/2 eat 1/2 and either throw the other half away or put it away for later.
I find it quite wasteful that you would throw it away, why would you purposely throw food away. Just keep it for later more, or freeze the rest.
Everyone CAN have just one slice of cake, not doing so is not 'a personality trait' or something you HAVE to do, its just daft and unnecessary. Would you ever say you couldnt just have ONE partner, you had to have more. i imagine not, so why is food any different.
You mgiht find it wasteful that I would throw it away ~ but sometimes it's better to chunk in the trash rather then down my throat. I am not a trash digger, but I have been known to eat too much from time to time. (HA!) A lot of times someone in the family will eat it, but for me ~ it's not an option. I know that I only need 1/2 (most days).
Why dont you try making yourself a smaller portion, or use the rest for lunch the next day or something. I just think its a bit disgustingly western (and Im not saying your disgusting or trying to be *****y, this is just a personal irk for me) to say its better to throw it in the rubbish than to overeat. Learn to control portion sizes and you wont do either.0 -
I eat ice cream with my husband and kids. They have a their's in a cup ~ I have mine in a silver condiment cup.
I eat chips with the family. I put some on theirs ~ I count out six for me.
I eat hamburgers with them ~ I cut mine in 1/2 eat 1/2 and either throw the other half away or put it away for later.
I find it quite wasteful that you would throw it away, why would you purposely throw food away. Just keep it for later more, or freeze the rest.
Everyone CAN have just one slice of cake, not doing so is not 'a personality trait' or something you HAVE to do, its just daft and unnecessary. Would you ever say you couldnt just have ONE partner, you had to have more. i imagine not, so why is food any different.
You mgiht find it wasteful that I would throw it away ~ but sometimes it's better to chunk in the trash rather then down my throat. I am not a trash digger, but I have been known to eat too much from time to time. (HA!) A lot of times someone in the family will eat it, but for me ~ it's not an option. I know that I only need 1/2 (most days).
Why dont you try making yourself a smaller portion, or use the rest for lunch the next day or something. I just think its a bit disgustingly western (and Im not saying your disgusting or trying to be *****y, this is just a personal irk for me) to say its better to throw it in the rubbish than to overeat. Learn to control portion sizes and you wont do either.
As you see in the rest of my post I DO use portion control. The burger I am refering to is one that is purchased ~ which we all know resteraunts give WAY too much food ~ even fast food joints. We can just agree not to agree. I don't know about your tastes but a leftover burger is disgusting to me and I would rather NOT eat it then to feel like I have to out of not wanting to waste food. More often then not I order a kids meal ~ plenty of food and not too many leftovers to squabble over.0 -
CANT do moderation?
So when you go to the mall you buy ALL the things?
And when you go out with your friends, you drink until you black out?
and... dating? oh my.
point : you do what you need to do when something is actually important to you. If you 'cant' then it isnt important to you.0 -
Just because people can do some things in moderation doesn't mean you can do ALL things in moderation.
An alcoholic may be able to eat in moderation and budget their money, but it doesn't mean it's not important to them to moderate drinking. They can't.0 -
Just because people can do some things in moderation doesn't mean you can do ALL things in moderation.
An alcoholic may be able to eat in moderation and budget their money, but it doesn't mean it's not important to them to moderate drinking. They can't.
if its important to you, you will do what you have to do. If its not, you wont.
If eating is what's most important to her, then THAT is what she'll do.
To an alcoholic, drinking is more important to them than their job and family- so they will do whatever they have to do to get a drink, regardless of what other less important things are damaged because of it.
If you have wacked out eating habits because you simply cant moderate yourself, its because your eating is more important than other things being damaged.
And it will stay that way until your priorities either shift... or YOU shift them.0 -
Just because people can do some things in moderation doesn't mean you can do ALL things in moderation.
An alcoholic may be able to eat in moderation and budget their money, but it doesn't mean it's not important to them to moderate drinking. They can't.
if its important to you, you will do what you have to do. If its not, you wont.
If eating is what's most important to her, then THAT is what she'll do.
To an alcoholic, drinking is more important to them than their job and family- so they will do whatever they have to do to get a drink, regardless of what other less important things are damaged because of it.
If you have wacked out eating habits because you simply cant moderate yourself, its because your eating is more important than other things being damaged.
And it will stay that way until your priorities either shift... or YOU shift them.
Couldn't have said any of it better myself.
Doesn't make anyone better than anybody, it just means it hasn't become top priority yet. Everybody's journey is different, and some people take a lot longer to get to their destination than others, while some never get there at all. 80% of people who lose a significant amount of weight gain back everything they've lost, while 2/3 of those gain back MORE than they lost in the first place.
It's like a drug addict needing to go to rehab. If you force them to go to rehab, most of the time they'll start using when they get out. If they CHOOSE to go to rehab and make that decision for themselves, their success is a lot more likely. You can't want something for anybody else, they have to make the commitment to want it for themselves.0 -
^^^QFTJust because people can do some things in moderation doesn't mean you can do ALL things in moderation.
An alcoholic may be able to eat in moderation and budget their money, but it doesn't mean it's not important to them to moderate drinking. They can't.
if its important to you, you will do what you have to do. If its not, you wont.
If eating is what's most important to her, then THAT is what she'll do.
To an alcoholic, drinking is more important to them than their job and family- so they will do whatever they have to do to get a drink, regardless of what other less important things are damaged because of it.
If you have wacked out eating habits because you simply cant moderate yourself, its because your eating is more important than other things being damaged.
And it will stay that way until your priorities either shift... or YOU shift them.0
This discussion has been closed.
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