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CHUCK NORRISMS.....

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Pollywog39
Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
Dang, I'm bored. Less than an hour left in my workday...................Yeah, and there's probably a thread like this buried deep in the archives, and I'm not going to look for it.............so..........

...............amuse me with Chuck Norrisms! I'll start:

Do you know why you'll NEVER see a bridge named after Churk Norris.

CUZ NO ONE crosses Chuck Norris.

Next!
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Replies

  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    ......nobody, Bueller?..................
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 2,036 Member
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    I tried this the other day and nobody liked it then, either, lol.

    How about...

    Chuck Norris doesn't flush his toilet. He scares the **** out of it.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,443 Member
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    After a night of partying, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down.
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
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    Under Chuck's beard there's not a chin, just another fist.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y
  • NYChick84
    NYChick84 Posts: 331 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks!!!
  • SCVSarah
    SCVSarah Posts: 231 Member
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    The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
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    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups...he pushes down the Earth.

    There used to be life on Mars...Until chuck Norris landed there.

    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.


    Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    LOL.........NOW yer talkin'!

    Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic


    Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
  • MNA76
    MNA76 Posts: 1,541
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    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits.
  • SCVSarah
    SCVSarah Posts: 231 Member
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    Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris
  • iRebel
    iRebel Posts: 378 Member
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    only Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
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    Chuck Norris's Tears can cure cancer.. to bad he has never cried.

    There is no such thing as tornado's. Chuck Norris jut hates trailer parks.
  • GrimNeeper
    GrimNeeper Posts: 3 Member
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    Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. No heart would be foolish enough to attack him.

    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • lzulk
    lzulk Posts: 9
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    Chuck Norris counted to infinity




    ....TWICE.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    Chuck's favorite color is violet because it sounds like violence.

    And this one:

    6a0134874eb02e970c016766343cb1970b-800wi
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
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    gxMcZ23947.jpg
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
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    Chuck Norris knows the last number of Pi

    Dinosaurs became extinct because Chuck Norris got hungry.
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
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    Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks!!!

    This one is Chuck approved.
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 2,036 Member
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    Chuck's favorite color is violet because it sounds like violence.

    And this one:

    6a0134874eb02e970c016766343cb1970b-800wi

    People always post this, but where's Bruce these days?
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
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    Chuck Norris once tried to cut himself. The knife bled instead.

    Chuck Norris can cut a knife with hot butter.