CHUCK NORRISMS.....

Pollywog39
Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
edited December 22 in Chit-Chat
Dang, I'm bored. Less than an hour left in my workday...................Yeah, and there's probably a thread like this buried deep in the archives, and I'm not going to look for it.............so..........

...............amuse me with Chuck Norrisms! I'll start:

Do you know why you'll NEVER see a bridge named after Churk Norris.

CUZ NO ONE crosses Chuck Norris.

Next!

Replies

  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    ......nobody, Bueller?..................
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 1,799 Member
    I tried this the other day and nobody liked it then, either, lol.

    How about...

    Chuck Norris doesn't flush his toilet. He scares the **** out of it.
  • _the_feniks_
    _the_feniks_ Posts: 3,412 Member
    After a night of partying, Chuck Norris doesn't throw up, he throws down.
  • halobender
    halobender Posts: 780 Member
    Under Chuck's beard there's not a chin, just another fist.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj2Zf9tlg2Y
  • NYChick84
    NYChick84 Posts: 331 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks!!!
  • SCVSarah
    SCVSarah Posts: 231 Member
    The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse actually live in Chuck Norris's nutsack
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't do push-ups...he pushes down the Earth.

    There used to be life on Mars...Until chuck Norris landed there.

    Chuck Norris has a grizzly bear carpet in his room. The bear isn't dead it is just afriad to move.


    Chuck Norris once urinated in a semi truck's gas tank as a joke....that truck is now known as Optimus Prime.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    LOL.........NOW yer talkin'!

    Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic


    Once the cop pulled over Chuck Norris....the cop was lucky to leave with a warning.
  • MNA76
    MNA76 Posts: 1,541
    Chuck Norris doesn't sleep...he waits.
  • SCVSarah
    SCVSarah Posts: 231 Member
    Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris
  • iRebel
    iRebel Posts: 378 Member
    only Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
  • taxidermist15
    taxidermist15 Posts: 677 Member
    Chuck Norris's Tears can cure cancer.. to bad he has never cried.

    There is no such thing as tornado's. Chuck Norris jut hates trailer parks.
  • GrimNeeper
    GrimNeeper Posts: 3 Member
    Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack. No heart would be foolish enough to attack him.

    Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
  • lzulk
    lzulk Posts: 9
    Chuck Norris counted to infinity




    ....TWICE.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    Chuck's favorite color is violet because it sounds like violence.

    And this one:

    6a0134874eb02e970c016766343cb1970b-800wi
  • WifeNMama
    WifeNMama Posts: 2,876 Member
    gxMcZ23947.jpg
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    Chuck Norris knows the last number of Pi

    Dinosaurs became extinct because Chuck Norris got hungry.
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
    Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks!!!

    This one is Chuck approved.
  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 1,799 Member
    Chuck's favorite color is violet because it sounds like violence.

    And this one:

    6a0134874eb02e970c016766343cb1970b-800wi

    People always post this, but where's Bruce these days?
  • JPod279
    JPod279 Posts: 722 Member
    Chuck Norris once tried to cut himself. The knife bled instead.

    Chuck Norris can cut a knife with hot butter.
  • gchutson
    gchutson Posts: 657
    Chuck's favorite color is violet because it sounds like violence.

    And this one:

    6a0134874eb02e970c016766343cb1970b-800wi

    People always post this, but where's Bruce these days?

    Chuck ate him. And then was hungry 30 minutes later. (Get it. Chinese food joke. No? Nothing? Damn.)
  • wood2415
    wood2415 Posts: 53 Member
    Chuck Norris and Superman once fought...the loser had to wear his underwear on the outside of his clothes.
  • wood2415
    wood2415 Posts: 53 Member
    Ghosts sit around the campfire and tell Chuck Norris stories.
  • wood2415
    wood2415 Posts: 53 Member
    When the boogeyman goes to sleep every night...he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
  • ster81
    ster81 Posts: 249
    Chuck Norris went to McDonald's to order a whopper... And got it...
  • cally69
    cally69 Posts: 182 Member
    Superman wears Chuck Norris pyjamas....
  • NYChick84
    NYChick84 Posts: 331 Member
    Chuck Norris doesn't tea bag, he potato sacks!!!

    This one is Chuck approved.

    haha!
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
    Chuck once lost a fight with Bruce Lee because he had no beard.
    Years later, Chuck grew his beard, traveled back in time.
    Have you seen Bruce Lee?
  • laurenkoszola
    laurenkoszola Posts: 101 Member
    When Chuck Norris looks in the mirror, there is no reflection because there can be only one Chuck Norris!
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