Kids say the darnest things...

magichatter06

She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes
of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before. After she
applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But
Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"



My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was quiet for a
moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?"



After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into old
slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard
the children getting more and more rambunctious, her patience grew thin.
Finally, she threw a towel around her head and stormed into their room,
putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she left the room, she
heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"



A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing
made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our
pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods." The little girl was
wide-eyed, taking this all in. At last she said, "I sure wish I'd
gotten to know you sooner!"



My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know
how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo while I asked,
"No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.



A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it about?" he
asked. "I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."


I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so I
decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what color it
was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I
continued. At last she headed for the door, saying sagely, "Grandma, I
think you should try to figure out some of these yourself!"



When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did,
Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are coming after
us with flashlights."


When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied, "I'm not
sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "mine says I'm
four to six."



A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today." The
grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "how do you make babies?" "It's
simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and add 'es'."



Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a
teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder
pregnant." The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you
know what pregnant means?" she asked. "Sure," said the young boy
confidently. "It means carrying a child."



A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat
of the truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the
dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."
A t hird child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs," she
said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants.

Phoenix_Rising

:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

neenaleigh

i got one for you....i'll never forget this, neither did my grandma....

i was walking with to kindergarten one morning and she had on knee high stockings, i looked at them and said "grandma those things make your legs look young!, she said 'oh do they, thank you sweetie', then i turned around and said, "now if you could just get some for your arms!"
:bigsmile:

proctor0828

Thank you so much for this! I've been upset all morning and needed a laugh!

lulabellewoowoo

neenaleigh, I love it!

My grandma story is that my grandmother was from England and very prim and proper. When I was about 2, I proceeded to tell her something that was obviously important to me. She asked me to repeat it. So I did. She said, "sweetie, repeat it again". So I did a third time. She looked at me and said "Sweetie, I just don't understand you". Frustrated, I said very clearly, "Grandma's a dumb-dumb". She said "Now THAT i understood".

cassandra1220

I was in Marshall's dressing room last week trying on some clothes and there was a little girl with her Grandma in the next stall. The little girl said "Grandma, you have underwear on!" and the Grandma laughed and said "Yes, why don't you?" and the little girl replied "Yes I do, but Mommy never wears any!"

I hope that was her Mom and not her Mother-in-law!:laugh:

magichatter06

I was in Marshall's dressing room last week trying on some clothes and there was a little girl with her Grandma in the next stall. The little girl said "Grandma, you have underwear on!" and the Grandma laughed and said "Yes, why don't you?" and the little girl replied "Yes I do, but Mommy never wears any!"

I hope that was her Mom and not her Mother-in-law!:laugh:

:laugh: :laugh:


These grandma stories are very cute!

TCASMEY

My little sister is a redhead who has a lot of freckles. One day my middle child asked her why she had so many liver spots. I have no idea where he ever heard of liver spots. I just about fell off my chair laughing.