why are some people so negative about...

Options
AgapeLove7
AgapeLove7 Posts: 29 Member
in Motivation and Support
why do people tell you this when you've lost weight???>........... "YOU ARE TOO SKINNY NOW. YOU NEED TO EAT MORE. YOU ARE LOOKING PALE. STOP STARVING YOURSELF"........... I didn't realize how much mental work went into losing weight. It not only affects you.. but everyone around you........ and their true colors start showing. I am not going to listen to them anymore.
«1

Replies

  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
    Options
    yeah i hate this. i recently made a comment over the phone to a friend who lives in another state that i was cold and closing the window. her immediate reaction was "that's because you're losing too much weight" :noway:

    i was like no it;s because it's cold here. my building's heat is also on.

    i know my friend is a good person but honestly i wouldnt be surprised if she werent just a wee bit resentful of my loss because even though she and i decided to lose weight together at the end of last year, i'm the only one who stuck with it.
  • sfarrell1359
    sfarrell1359 Posts: 63 Member
    Options
    I feel like this stems from the media too. One day a celebrity is getting fat and then a few weeks later they are too skinny. It should really be about being healthy. UGH!
  • AmyParker979
    AmyParker979 Posts: 84 Member
    Options
    I think people are also naive about what healthy looks like. From the too skinny models to what is considered "normal" now days... I didn't realize healthy was really so small.
  • spikefoot
    spikefoot Posts: 419
    Options
    It seems to be an epidemic ... I think there are numerous reasons.

    But I really think it is just ignorance on their part. "We" have strayed so far from what a healthy lifestyle is that it seems harmful.
  • TourThePast
    TourThePast Posts: 1,753 Member
    Options
    why do people tell you this when you've lost weight???>........... "YOU ARE TOO SKINNY NOW. YOU NEED TO EAT MORE. YOU ARE LOOKING PALE. STOP STARVING YOURSELF"...........
    Because so many people are far too fat, the idea of what "normal" is has become hopelessly distorted.

    EDITED TO ADD: I deal with it by saying to myself "not only are you fatter than me, but you're also less well informed, hopefully one day both those things will change and I'll help you if you genuinely want to change, but meanwhile I can't help feeling a slight sense of superiority"

    Hey, I didn't ever pretend to be nice!!! :bigsmile:
  • BrownEyedSister
    BrownEyedSister Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    Everyone has an opinion and they all feel like they need to express it! There is no "mind your own business" any more - everyone thinks everything is their business. In some ways this can be helpful and others not so much.
  • carriempls
    carriempls Posts: 326 Member
    Options
    It's just a comment on change. I don't think it's anything very serious. Some people aren't good at giving compliments and most of the time that's what they're trying to do.

    When I told close friends how much weight I wanted to lose they were shocked and worried it was too much. Once I explained my goal was at the top of my healthy weight range they understood better. Either they're being nice or don't really understand weight loss. Either way, they mean well.
  • ChitownFoodie
    ChitownFoodie Posts: 1,562 Member
    Options
    I spent my whole life listening to that. It's never okay to point out when someone is fat, but it seems to be socially acceptable to badger the skinny person. I eat A LOT and most people say that I must be starving myself. You will either get the people that tell you how great you look or ones that will tell you the complete opposite. Just do you. You'll never make everyone happy.
  • akamatilda
    akamatilda Posts: 19
    Options
    I think sometimes acquaintances/friends feel threatened by change.
  • DEBAUD
    DEBAUD Posts: 22 Member
    Options
    Those comments are so annoying and just flat out rude! I've always been skinny and feel like I'm constantly getting negative comments like that or assuming I’m skinny because I don’t eat. Funny tho just went to the Dr. and nothing was said about my weight except its good.
  • CoffeeNBooze
    CoffeeNBooze Posts: 966 Member
    Options
    Can be a number of reasons. I think the two most common are jealousy, and people being afraid of change. People are generally very resistant to change! And if they are insecure in themselves and see you getting healthier, they're going to try to take it away from you. I just learned to take what they say as compliments, I'm kind of sick like that hahaha
  • Assassins_Angel
    Assassins_Angel Posts: 329
    Options
    Everyone has an opinion and they all feel like they need to express it! There is no "mind your own business" any more - everyone thinks everything is their business. In some ways this can be helpful and others not so much.

    I couldnt agree more with this statement tbh
  • NYChick84
    NYChick84 Posts: 331 Member
    Options
    why do people tell you this when you've lost weight???>........... "YOU ARE TOO SKINNY NOW. YOU NEED TO EAT MORE. YOU ARE LOOKING PALE. STOP STARVING YOURSELF"........... I didn't realize how much mental work went into losing weight. It not only affects you.. but everyone around you........ and their true colors start showing. I am not going to listen to them anymore.

    Easy....They're jealous that they can't lose weight themselves!!! Misery LOVES company!!! What I do??? I'd rub it in their face....smile and prance around with that hot body of yours!!! Screw everyone else....tell them to go kiss your *kitten* lol.
  • leahartmann
    leahartmann Posts: 415
    Options
    Yes, you´re right. I use to be very skinny but unhealthy, now i´m bigger but healthy. I actually prefare that, in spite of it all. Though I have to say, that when I was skinny, I heard way more comments about my weight then I do now. It was always "eat more", " you´re to skinny", "you can take it" and so on and on.
  • lucythinmint
    lucythinmint Posts: 239
    Options
    I don't speak to my mother but my brother showed her a picture of my before and afters and she is convinced that I am starving myself and my husband is forcing me to do it.

    True colors in deed. Some people just do not want to see you succeed.

    Stay focused on your goal. That's all you can do. :drinker:
  • bleacheblonde
    bleacheblonde Posts: 333
    Options
    Yes, this happened to me the first time I lost a crapload of weight (and I'm just going to prepare myself for it happening again when I get to my goal weight this time)...I came home from college for a wedding and before I knew it, rumors were going around that I was anorexic AND that I had slept with a drunk guy that I gave a ride home from said wedding (because I didn't want him to freaking kill people if he drove in the state he was in). When people have known you for a long time as the fat girl, they get uncomfortable with the notion that you can change so then they try to bring you down the other way. People suck; don't listen to them!
  • whitefang66
    whitefang66 Posts: 38 Member
    Options
    i get rather fed up with some people saying "you're losing too much weight too fast".. i lost 21lbs in 5 weeks, and as far as i am concerned, i look better for it, i feel better for it... someone who trains told me before i started "listen to your body" and i do! i work out almost everyday for between 2.5 and 5 hours, and i enjoy it. and i like the results, i dont care what anyone else says, if i felt ill or thought i looked awful (and i know what awful looks like) i would reduce the amount i do. been out for a meal on friday and tonight, and eaten what i wanted cos i know when i get back to gym tomorrow i will burn those cals off, it might take a couple of days more to get rid of the excess cals, but i will.. so pfft to anyone who dont like it lol
  • frenchgrapes
    frenchgrapes Posts: 19 Member
    Options
    What I find rude are the people who ask me how much weight I've lost. When did manners go out the window? There are some things polite adult people don't ask one another - how much they weigh, how old they are, how much money they make being among those things. If people choose to share that information with each other, that is different, but a person shouldn't just blatantly ask out of the sake of curiosity. I've gotten where when someone asks me how much I weigh now or how much weight I've lost that I ask them how much they weigh. If they can be nosy, so can I. It is amazing the looks on their faces. Apparently a bunch of people thought the world was all about how much I weigh and they got a big surprise when I pointed out that it really is all about how much they weigh.
  • ItsMeRebekah
    ItsMeRebekah Posts: 910 Member
    Options
    idk people suck.

    op, you are beautiful!
    that is all.
  • MileyClimb
    MileyClimb Posts: 414 Member
    Options
    Jealously and being uneducated! are the reasons they say those things. I had a family member say that to me and I said who is losing weight me or you? they said you are. that's right. who is not losing weight. they said me. I said until you are losing weight and practicing what you preach don't be talking to me:)

Categories