FINALLY! A thread not related to fried foods or cheating!

SMJ1987

I had to be cut out of a wrecked vehicle with the jaws of life. My jeans had to be sacrificed. I was in a red thong.

I dont wear thongs anymore.

Coulda been a lot worse.

CoryIda

May 2007. I was at my heaviest of around 294(ish) pounds.

My sister was getting married and I was the Maid of Honor. It was going to be a *very* casual wedding and my sister told us not to worry about having matching bridesmaids dresses - just have them all be black.

Night before the wedding, she called me and said she changed her mind and she wanted us all to match.
I'm the Maid of Honor, so it was my job to take care of this.

I went down to Target and bought three identical black dresses.
I was rather enormous (Size 24) but I squeezed into a Size 18 dress.
It was very lowcut and had spaghetti straps. I tried it on with a bra but it was not a dress you could wear a bra with.

Next morning, I drove the 2+ hours down to the town the wedding was going to be on, went into the bathroom to change, and...

My boobs don't fit in the dress.

Uh oh.

The lady performing the wedding ceremony had a brooch that I used to hold the dress closed enough to (mostly) contain the girls for the wedding.

Disaster averted.

Then the wedding ended and the lady needed her brooch back.

Crap. Okay, I had to be careful, but the girls were sort of covered(ish).

Then it was time for the tossing of the bouquet.

My sister threw it. I lunged for it.

I fell out.

Completely.

Both boobs, completely out of my dress.

In front of my sisters, their husbands, my dad and stepdad, two of my grandfathers, various family and friends, and a VIDEO CAMERA.

TheAncientMariner

May 2007. I was at my heaviest of around 294(ish) pounds.

My sister was getting married and I was the Maid of Honor. It was going to be a *very* casual wedding and my sister told us not to worry about having matching bridesmaids dresses - just have them all be black.

Night before the wedding, she called me and said she changed her mind and she wanted us all to match.
I'm the Maid of Honor, so it was my job to take care of this.

I went down to Target and bought three identical black dresses.
I was rather enormous (Size 24) but I squeezed into a Size 18 dress.
It was very lowcut and had spaghetti straps. I tried it on with a bra but it was not a dress you could wear a bra with.

Next morning, I drove the 2+ hours down to the town the wedding was going to be on, went into the bathroom to change, and...

My boobs don't fit in the dress.

Uh oh.

The lady performing the wedding ceremony had a brooch that I used to hold the dress closed enough to (mostly) contain the girls for the wedding.

Disaster averted.

Then the wedding ended and the lady needed her brooch back.

Crap. Okay, I had to be careful, but the girls were sort of covered(ish).

Then it was time for the tossing of the bouquet.

My sister threw it. I lunged for it.

I fell out.

Completely.

Both boobs, completely out of my dress.

In front of my sisters, their husbands, my dad and stepdad, two of my grandfathers, various family and friends, and a VIDEO CAMERA.

Just kidding! That seemed like it sucked hardcore, lol!

ironanimal

May 2007. I was at my heaviest of around 294(ish) pounds.

My sister was getting married and I was the Maid of Honor. It was going to be a *very* casual wedding and my sister told us not to worry about having matching bridesmaids dresses - just have them all be black.

Night before the wedding, she called me and said she changed her mind and she wanted us all to match.
I'm the Maid of Honor, so it was my job to take care of this.

I went down to Target and bought three identical black dresses.
I was rather enormous (Size 24) but I squeezed into a Size 18 dress.
It was very lowcut and had spaghetti straps. I tried it on with a bra but it was not a dress you could wear a bra with.

Next morning, I drove the 2+ hours down to the town the wedding was going to be on, went into the bathroom to change, and...

My boobs don't fit in the dress.

Uh oh.

The lady performing the wedding ceremony had a brooch that I used to hold the dress closed enough to (mostly) contain the girls for the wedding.

Disaster averted.

Then the wedding ended and the lady needed her brooch back.

Crap. Okay, I had to be careful, but the girls were sort of covered(ish).

Then it was time for the tossing of the bouquet.

My sister threw it. I lunged for it.

I fell out.

Completely.

Both boobs, completely out of my dress.

In front of my sisters, their husbands, my dad and stepdad, two of my grandfathers, various family and friends, and a VIDEO CAMERA.

That's one way to make sure the wedding is remembered forever.

CoryIda

Just kidding! That seemed like it sucked hardcore, lol!

That's one way to make sure the wedding is remembered forever.

It's one of those things where you have two choices -
1) Never leave your house again, or
2) Laugh about it

I chose the latter. It really is pretty funny, aside from the horribly mortifying factor.

yoovie

.

EmCarroll1990

I *kitten* myself before work when I only that I had to fart. I went home immediately.