Annoyed by People Commenting??

PonyTailedLoser

I hate the compliments that are excessive or when people try to tell me what I should do with my body (you don't need to lose more, etc). It generally makes me feel uncomfortable and after you have the exact same conversation with the same people for the 40th time it tends to get old. I do like a matter of fact compliment though, I'm not going to lie.

dsjohndrow

Why would you write a post about comments if you don't want any? I think you love them.

kadyjackson

The 90/10 Principle by Author Stephen Covey

What is the Principle?

10% of life is made up of what happens to you.
90% of life is decided by how you react

What does this mean?

We really have NO control over 10% of what happens to us.

You cannot control a red light. However, you can control your reaction.

Do not let people fool you. YOU can control how you react.

Let us use an example…

You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt.

You have no control over what just happened. So what happens next will be determined by how you react.

You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and you criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.

You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school. She misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school.

Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30 mph speed limit zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing a $60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive at school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you realize you forgot your briefcase. Your day started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.

You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.

Why?

Because of how you reacted in the morning.

Why did you have a bad day?

A) Did the coffee cause it?
Did your daughter cause it?
C) Did the policeman cause it?
D) Did you cause it?

The answer is “D”

You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted in those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.

Here is what should have happened…

Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.

You gently say, “It’s okay honey, you just need to be more careful next time.”

Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus. She turns and waves. You arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.

Notice the difference?

Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.

Why?

Because of how you reacted.

You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life. The other 90% was determined by your reaction.

Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches. We must all apply the 90/10 Principle. It can change your life!

I love this is so true!!!

WaterBunnie

I think it would annoy me if it was ALL they wanted to talk about.

Kara_xxx

The comments that really bother me are "you don't look that bad" or your not that fat. It isn't a compliment.

Isn't it??

I gained 40lb after an injury. When I tell people they often say "oh really, it doesn't seem like you gained THAT much..." of course it's kind of a compliment...

Better than them saying "oh yes I can see you're at least 40lb up!" :laugh:

And to the OP... if you post something on an open forum, then chances are a proportion of those people may say something you don't wish to hear. That doesn't mean you can tell them to get off the forum.

Sbehlmer

When someone pays me a compliment about looking better & how much weight I've lost, I take it as a very positive thing...Just like many others here, we all work hard to reach our goal (whether short term or long term), & it's a great feeling when others notice....I could never take that as a negative thing

delilah47

I don't know about anyone else, but when someone compliments me on the weight I've lost, it sets something off in my head and I want to eat things I shouldn't eat. It's the same as when I tried to quit smoking a million times (been quit for over 8 months now). Friends or family would say "Oh, you haven't smoked for a week?.. WTG! I am proud of you!" Then, I would go buy some cigarettes. Go figure. I'm the same way about dieting. I guess, in my mind, it's not something I should be complimented on. It's something I shouldn't have let happen in the first place and doesn't deserve praise. I am my own worse critic. All I can say is keep your eye on the prize and don't let them get to you.

Neecy_Pooh

Is it just me...or do you start to get slightly annoyed when people CONTINUOUSLY comment on the weight you've lost?? At first it was great...but now I can't help thinking...DID I LOOK THAT BAD BEFORE??? lol....just a little Friday venting...

Stop losing. Problem solved.

Get an attitude adjustment. Problem solved.

They are right. If you don't like the comments or compliments, stopping effing losing weight. Really!! This person doesn't need an attitude adjustment just because they simply suggested a solution. As far as YOU go, 20 lbs is a lot and yes you really DID look big, so stop complaining because people notice that you are not so big! OMG!!

hkevans724

Is it just me...or do you start to get slightly annoyed when people CONTINUOUSLY comment on the weight you've lost?? At first it was great...but now I can't help thinking...DID I LOOK THAT BAD BEFORE??? lol....just a little Friday venting...

Personally I am quite annoyed that I have lost 20 lbs and not one even noticed!

Kara_xxx

loved the 90/10 principle post. Thank you. :drinker:

fteale

YES. It drives me completely up the wall. I was at a party recently where literally every person there commented on it. I haven't lost any weight in a year now, I lost most of my weight 18 months ago. GET OVER IT! I am not a fat person who lost weight. I was a thinnish person who had babies and hung onto to the excess while breastfeeding. It's not something worth mentioning. I find the whole subject of weightless incredibly boring.

Prudiddy

Thanks to all the people who actually took the time to read what I posted...and didn't twist it into all sorts of negativity.

Sometimes it makes me sad to know so many people jump to the negative and come to their own conclusions about a complete stranger.

I thought this was supposed to be a place where we could talk about how we felt and what we were going through during weight loss without judgment.

Please...if you are looking to judge and point fingers and make assumptions and tell me how terrible I am go elsewhere.

I want to say I completely understand what you are saying, for instance this guy at my job: Every 2 min is asking how much weight did you lose again? And telling me to turn around. PERV. That is annoying, on the other hand, There are the haters that say, "it took how long again to lose 20lbs?" That is annoying too. as if I've been trying forever. Then there are those who tell me " See Pru and you said you couldn't do it we are so proud of you" They say this often and I love it! So I can feel you on this completely!

:drinker: :flowerforyou:

Absolutely

kcox4166

I think this is probably the issue. I've lost before and regained because I didn't like the attention.

HIITMe

I agree with the OP... and whats worse are the folks that want details.... not because they are caring but because they are NOSEY & want to GOSSIP....

-How much DID you lose?
-What size do you wear?
-I think you are too skinny...



Im glad that I have the personality that not too many would have the nerve to approach me in that manner

MonkeyBars

Am I allowed to comment on this thread?

LMAO!

michelleepotter

It would not bother me in the least to have people commenting on how much I've lost. So far it's only been my husband and my grandma, LOL. I think people just want to encourage you.

What irritated me was when people kept saying I looked like I had lost weight, when I knew I hadn't, and in fact knew I had gained weight. I told myself it was just that I was getting better at dressing for my body shape, but I felt like people were giving fake compliments just to be polite, and I can't STAND that.

StarkLark

I never, ever get annoyed when I hear stuff like that. Not to mention I personally DID look awful before :laugh:

Gilbrod

Is it just me...or do you start to get slightly annoyed when people CONTINUOUSLY comment on the weight you've lost?? At first it was great...but now I can't help thinking...DID I LOOK THAT BAD BEFORE??? lol....just a little Friday venting...

StarkLark

I agree with the OP... and whats worse are the folks that want details.... not because they are caring but because they are NOSEY & want to GOSSIP....

-How much DID you lose?
-What size do you wear?
-I think you are too skinny...



Im glad that I have the personality that not too many would have the nerve to approach me in that manner

It might be a gender difference or simply because we are at different points in our paths, but I LOVE those types of questions. I don't care if they want it because they are nosey or they want to gossip, it gives me a chance to talk about it and not feel like I am outright bragging. Well, except for the too skinny part, I am not sure I'll ever hear that one! :bigsmile:

JediMaster_intraining

I think if people tell me "you look great!" and leave it at that, I would love to hear that and say "thanks".

But if everyone tells me "you've lost sooo much weight" or "did you not eat?" or "you weren't that big in the 1st place" I would be annoyed.

I'm very very self-conscious still and people pointing out what my physical flaws were just makes me want to hide in my room. (I'm working on my self-esteem still.)

Don't get me wrong. I am glad people are noticing but sometimes I just don't want them to say too much. A simple comment or compliment works for me.

Jscanland

Sister! eat it up and strut YOUR STUFF!!!!!!!!!!! I used to think the same thing. and it's self depricating...say THANKS! and tell them to keep watchin' you!
Sounds sillly, but those are cheerleaders! or...they wish they had what you have!

Katanthus

Just learn to take a compliment gracefully. A simple thank you will suffice.

daniflems

I suppose maybe I have trouble taking compliments....? Sometimes it makes me feel uncomfortable. And again i want to stress that I am not COMPLAINING about losing weight.....it was something I decided to do and was successful at. I think when you have self esteem issues for most of your life it's hard to break the habit and look at yourself in a positive way.

I am not going to lie although I've lost weight already, everyday I look in the mirror and think "If I could just lose a bit more...." and then what??? Lose more? I think the feeling of being inadequete is really hard to get away from for some people. Like no matter what it's not good enough. I know I look better and more importantly I feel better about myself. This just started as something silly because I got a comment from a co-worker this morning for what seems like the 20th time....I didn't think it would spark so much controversy!!

I am happy I have lost the weight. I am glad people notice. I wouldn't change it or go back.

NVgal

I thought that was what Success Stories was for! I come here for inspiration and to know what works for people. The nice thing about MFP is that you don't have to click on this topic if it bothers you.

Oops, I think I took the OP's post wrong. I have not posted any before and after pics and if I get to a point where I feel ready I think I wold be okay with the positive comments. I would think it would be motivating to continue the weightloss journey or to help me maintain if that's where I'm at. I KNOW my before pics are bad! LOL!

simplysassi

Seeing all the comments confirms for me my take on this. Some people LOVE the attention, and some people SHY from it. Nothing wrong with either, but a lesson to the person giving the compliment (or as the OP stated... CONTINUOUSLY COMMENTING) not everyone feels and responds to compliments and continuous comments the same way.

Understand that not everything you intend as a compliment is perceived as a compliment. And when it's continuous and never-ending can be very annoying (IMO). eg, "Wow, you've lost a TON of weight !" can be perceived as embarrassing (even though it may be true).'

It's a very good lesson to learn in communication and relationships... PAY ATTENTION to the person's perception. What you think is a compliment isn't always perceived that way.

ipsamet

I don't mind it so much.. it motivates me to keep going. Except, I have one coworker who comments on it EVERY TIME I see him. And I see him probably three or four times a week. Tells me how great I'm doing, how proud he is of me. It was sweet the first time, now it's getting a bit overbearing and creepy.

dmpizza

Yes you did look horrible, just kidding.

My wife is very thin(size 0) and changed her routine and lost a couple of pounds.
She walked into her nail salon and one lady yelled "wow, you lost a ton"

My wife is upset because she obviously didn't have "a ton" to lose.

Dayna154

I guess Im different. I enjoy it, more so the shocked look on thier face when they havent seen me in a while and they dont know that I have made the life changes I have made.. I think its funny and my new leaner body feels wonderful and it will only get better.. So they can comment all they want.. lol

NamibianRose

I'm not far enough along my weight loss journey to really relate, but if I don't look "so much better" after getting to my goal, I'll be pretty disappointed LOL.

sweetpea129

It could be worse. I've lost over 40 lbs and only very few people have said anything. THAT is a bit depressing.