My many thoughts...

jsj024519

Wow, looking back at where I was in 2010 and where I am today totally baffles me (well, no it doesn't). Back in 2010, I was an active person who weighed 155 lbs and today as I sit hear typing this post, I weight 224 lbs. I ask myself, "how did this happen?" and most importantly, "why did I let this happen?"

For the past seven weeks I have been running almost daily logging up to twenty miles per week. As I increased my mileage. I saw no change in weight. Perhaps some fat turned into lean muscle, but my goal of running to lose weight was unsuccessful.
I researched and read posts from all sorts of weight-loss websites and after spending countless hours of figuring why I couldn't lose, I came to the conclusion that running is for fitness and being mindful of what I put in my mouth is what will dictate my weight loss.

Sure I knew in the back of mind that "if I run countless miles, the weight will melt off." Well, in my distorted reality that is what I wanted to believe. I have come to the conclusion that I must run and restrict my caloric intake in order to lose weight. And that my friends is a hard thing to accomplish. I found my eating habits today are eating high caloric foods until I am full. I found myself shrugging off the pounds that slowly added and telling myself almost everyday that today will be the day I start eating better. I began dieting and quitting only after a few days because it was "hard."

So what makes today different from the other times? I have accepted my faults and I k now it will be difficult. The result of eating what I wanted, when I wanted has resulted in buying bigger and bigger clothes, being self conscious, and disliking who I look like. I am sick of quitting and letting myself down. I am fearful that I will not be successful. But I am determined at accomplishing a big task: losing 74 pounds.

Thanks for reading.

-JS