Hi from SpringOwl!

springowl

Hi Friends, My weight gain/loss is a bit complicated because I suffer from Lyme Disease. I have had many symptoms of Lyme Disease for 20 years but was not properly tested and diagnosed until July of 2011. I am 46 years old.

I was always small framed and thin until Lyme Disease messed up my endocrine system and the weight started coming on fast. Two pregnancies ending up with preeclamsia didn't help. I am 5'1" and small boned. When I became pregnant 13 years ago with my first child, I weighed 115 lbs. The day of my delivery, I weighed 201 lbs. A lot of that was water retention from the preeclamsia but after things settled down, I was at 162 lbs.

I had another pregnancy 9 months later ant the same thing happened.

I was fat, tired, and my feet hurt all the time. I thought it was the weight but I now know that Lyme had a huge part in all of this.

I suffered from insomnia so I would binge on sugar to stay awake. I was really miserable. My feet hurt all the time and I figured it was all the weight that I was carrying but it was Lyme messing with my nerves and endocrine system. I have an under active thyroid and take 125 mcg of Levothyroxine per day.

I decided it was time to take charge and I began dieting and exercising even though I was dead tired all the time. The stress on my body began affecting my nervous system and I began to lose the use of my left side.

In a panic, I ran to all kind of different doctors that could not diagnose me. I was first thought to have ALS and was told people who eat and are fatter with ALS, live longer so I started to eat everything in sight. I weighed around 155 lbs.

After ALS and MS were ruled out, it took two years to find out I had been suffering with Lyme and by that time, I could not walk without a walker and could not raise my left arm over my head. My neurological damage is significant. I have lost most of the use of my left hand and am typing this with three fingers. I am having a hard time building any muscle on my left side and don't know if the damage is permanent. Most of my flab/fat is my on stomach and boobs.

Lyme treatment for me is heavy doses of antibiotics that make me feel terrible. My kids are now 11 & 12 and I have to function the best I can.

My marriage of 20 years is a sham and I found out my husband has been cheating on me with various women for over half our marriage. We are still married for insurance reason that affect my treatment and for the kids. It is not an abusive marriage, just a separate, non-sexual one. I am way over any feelings I used to have for my husband. He is a good father, and is not abusive. I hope to one day be healed enough so I can move on. All my attention is on my kids and my health right now.

I do not care about anything right now but getting healthy for myself, my kids, and my future alone. It is my motivation.

I just found out via MRI that I have a cyst on my Pituitary gland that may be affecting my weight too.

Because of Lyme treatment, I am allowed no gluten, sugar, caffeine, alcohol, or soda/pop. I am okay with all this and the only thing I ever cheat on are some M&M's or a cookie or two around my period.

My weight now is 138 lbs. but it is all fat and flab and no muscle at all. I have joined Planet Fitness and try to go 3 times per week but with the kids at home for the Summer it is hard to do. I am trying to stick with 1200 calories a day but when my medication makes me queasy, I eat a bit more to soak up the queasiness.

Another Lyme disease factor is the doctor stresses is no strenuous exercise so light bike riding and very light weights is all I can do. I never in my wildest dreams thought I would be in this position. I was always the cute skinny girl that received a lot of attention and I now see how most people look right through you when you are overweight. It has been very eye-opening for me and a wonderful life lesson. My best friend was always overweight and I saw what she went through and now I can appreciate a bit of what she had/has to struggle with. I was never a mean person to the overweight and never judged. I know some were jealous of my thin frame but I never gave any thought of weight whether thin or fat until it affected me. So here I am

I don't want to be skin and bones, but a 20 lb. loss with some muscle added would be good for my frame. I am very motivated because 20 lbs. does not seem like so much from where I started but I can't seem to shed one of those 20 lbs. I am here on myfitnesspal to chart everything I do until the last 20 come off. It finally helps to have some answers.

I have very, very strong willpower and intend to see Lyme disease and weight control through until I am satisfied.

If this introduction seems disorganized or disjointed, I am in a hurry to shower and get to the store. I now have to use a walker and it slows down my day. Also Lyme messes with my short term memory so my spelling can get really bad at times.

Whether you are like me and have 20 pounds to lose or 200 lbs., I believe it all has the same affect on our self esteem. If you are not happy with your weight or the way you feel about yourself, the feeling are the same.

I'm glad I am here and can't wait to read your stories. Let's do this for ourselves! Please stay motivated with me.

Best of luck to all of us.