How do I get over the embarrassment of being at the gym?

fatcheeksme

I'm very awkward and such and I'm really uncomfortable going to the gym when there are a lot of people there. Because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong or they're judging me because I don't exactly know what I'm doing and my size... How do I overcome this fear so I can get a good workout in? Also I'm a little intimidated by all of the other girls (it's a women's gym) who are so fit and sure of themselves, again how do I overcome this? Also there is this really cute trainer there and he's intimidating as well and I'm afraid to look foolish in front of him, how do you just get over these petty fears so I can become healthier? It's pathetic, I realize…

november1999

Head phones in, favorite music on and go at it... if that doesn't work - hire the trainer then you'll learn proper form and you'll have his undivided attention! LOL!!

If all else fails... here's a great pinterest quote - "No matter how slow you are going you are stil lapping everyone on the couch!"

Captain_Tightpants

Maybe consider changing gyms. I go to the YMCA and it's very diverse - people of all shapes and sizes and fitness levels and no one seems to judge anyone else. Sure there's the swaggery Jersey Shore idiots in the free weight room but I also once saw a 90 year old guy going round the circuit track with a walker and people were applauding him. The Y is more like an 'everybody' gym, whereas those women only places (is it Curves you go to?) always seem a bit elitist to me. In the Y I always just feel like everyone is getting on with thier own thing and either oblivious to me or sometimes even encouraging.

Planet Fitness is another one to consider, they're very bare bones and affordable, which means they draw a lot of regular joes trying to lose weight rather than fitness fanatics.

shelbiejo

I just put my headphones in and tune everything/everyone else out. I used to get at like 5am when hardly anyone was there too.

hellodangergirl

Hire a personal trainer! You'll be working too hard to care about what anybody else is thinking. Even if you can only afford one or two sessions, ask him/her to focus on showing you how to work the machines, giving you a few exercises you can do on your own, and generally walking you through the more intimidating areas of the gym. It works wonders, I promise

Hellbent_Heidi

First of all...there's abolutely NO reason to be embarrassed that you're trying to improve yourself by exercising. Most people are uncomfortable about it at first...till you realize that most people are either a) not paying attention to YOU at the gym, or b) if they do see you, they're probably cheering you on inside!!

As november1999 said though, get the trainer to show you around and how to use any machines first, so you know you're doing it right.

Either way...get yourself out there, stop worrying about others and just DO IT. For every 'super fit' girl at your gym, there are probably three more who aren't happy with how they look either!!

BrettPGH

Just remember that gyms are beautiful havens of self-centeredness. No one's looking at you. They're looking at themselves. You just put on the headphones and do your thing.

ItsCasey

What you're feeling is not at all unusual, but here's how I choose to look at it: I am more embarrassed by who I was when I was overweight and sitting alone on the couch watching TV than I was when I started working out in front of other people. You cannot let what other people think of you get in your way. For all you know, some of those fit, confident women were once just like you, and maybe what they're really thinking when they see you is "good for her."

If you don't know what you're doing, hire the trainer. They are there to help you, and most of them are used to working with rookies, so don't worry about it.

Pisc2749

Just get over it. Other people's opinions of you do not matter. So what if you look a little awkward at first? Big deal, you'll improve. Pay zero attention to them. You "think" they are judging or making fun of you but I bet they aren't. You're just projecting your insecurities onto them. People really do not pay as much attention to you as you think they do. That goes for everyone!!!
It may sound harsh, but I have a hard time understanding people who will let what they "think" others think about them prevent them from doing what they want.

Captain_Tightpants

I feel like this is also a great place to leave Flowology principle #III...

~from http://www.templeofpoi.com/flowology/mindset.php

Principle III: Utilize Self-to-Self comparisons instead of comparing yourself to others.

We can always find someone "better" than we are; we can always find someone "worse" than we are. "Better" and "Worse" judgments often imply "Good" and "Bad" evaluations. "Good" evaluations are temporary ego highs while "Bad" evaluations are, all too often, devastating, pervasive and unnecessary ego lows.

At any point in time, depending on what criteria we choose, we can judge ourselves as both "bad" and "good." Since both are possible all the time, the value typically implied in these judgments equates to meaninglessness.

This principle reminds us that people learn different moves, lessons and skills at different rates with greater and lesser ease. We all have accomplishments and we all have opportunities for growth. This also means nothing.

Rejoicing in the knowledge that everyone's journey is unique unburdens us of expectations that keep us from being in our practice.

odusgolp

I feel the same way... But I would agree with either hiring a trainer or asking a staff member to show you the ropes. Personally, I would go with a trainer. Have them put together a plan for you, stand by your side, and eventually you'll "get it."

But good on you for going!!

Lindsey1985x

We all go to the gym to improve our bodies, get healthy and get fit.

i just feel that people may at first judge me but i'm doing something good, i'm working out.

don't ever worry about what other people may or may not be thinking - we all work out for the same reasons xx

bellygoaway

"I'm somewhere in my future, and I look much better than I look right now!"

pastryari

Headphones.
Hiring a trainer for a session is a good idea, too. Have them show you the ropes and get you more familiar with the gym.

mamamudbug

You belong there as much as anyone else. Plan out your workout on a phone app or in a notebook and take it with you. Use the girls as inspiration instead of intimidation. From what my more fit friends tell me, they are not looking at you like you don't belong there. Many of them want you to succeed and are waiting to see if you stick with it. Look at youtube videos to get a good idea of what your form should be on different exercises (mark rippetoe is a good one to search). Most of all just go in and get it done...:flowerforyou:

Juliebean_1027

Not to sound like a complete brat, but no one is looking at you or judging you when you're at the gym. Unless you're showing up in a sports bra and a pair of volleyball shorts and letting everything hang out, no one will even look twice.

Trust me, I felt the same way when I first started. Then I realized that the other people at the gym were pushing themselves to do their workout and they were completely oblivious to me even being there. Focus on you and making yourself feel/look better. Good luck getting over this feeling of insecurity...it was hard for me, too, but it can be done!

heatherina1983

Have you got a friend you can go with? We tend to give each other a boost and I feel less self concious if I go with someone else. Also...my gym has TVs on the machines so I can be too busy laughing at The Big Bang Theory to notice both the pain and anyone else.

determinedsocialworker

Hey.. I hear what you are saying and yes, you should be able to go to the gym and feel confident and just do your own thing.. well, that isn't always going to just happen.. so.. why not start going early in the morning or during quieter times. I see my trainer at 6 am and I know I get a better workout than I would if I saw her at 6 pm.. I'd be too paranoid and busy looking around myself.... but after going on your own for a bit, you'll get more comfortable just because you'll get to know your limits, the machines, etc.. and come up with a bit of a routine.. and then maybe you will be okay with being around other people, etc.. You're doing great and there are always going to be obstacles that come up.. while it may be easier to just hop over them, sometimes thinking a way around them still serves the same purpose.. you getting your butt to the gym and working out! Lots of luck..

recklessdead

Yes you'll feel awkward. I was like that too. I wasn't in the best of shapes when I first joined a gym. Everyone there looked intimidating.

But so what? You're there to improve yourself. You're there putting in sweat, discipline, and hard work like everyone else. Those people who think less of others in a gym just because they aren't physically fit are just plain douches.

At least you're at the gym taking care of yourself. What are other people doing? Sitting at the couch? Eating junk and watching TV simultaneously?

ADH13

I struggle with the same issues. I especially feel nervous/shy in the weight room. I finally hired a trainer and he is helping me get over this. This has helped my confidence a lot. Good luck!!

MrsBully4

Just grit your teeth and fake the confidence to go in there and give it your best ... soon enough you'll realize that you DO have confidence, and that you belong there just like all the other ladies working to improve their health.

Seriously, nothing will give you confidence like sticking with an exercise routine and seeing improvements, and realizing that you're kicking butt.

thrld

I'm very awkward and such and I'm really uncomfortable going to the gym when there are a lot of people there. Because I feel as though I'm doing something wrong or they're judging me because I don't exactly know what I'm doing and my size... How do I overcome this fear so I can get a good workout in? Also I'm a little intimidated by all of the other girls (it's a women's gym) who are so fit and sure of themselves, again how do I overcome this? Also there is this really cute trainer there and he's intimidating as well and I'm afraid to look foolish in front of him, how do you just get over these petty fears so I can become healthier? It's pathetic, I realize…

Question: Have you noticed anyone at the gym who seemed awkward while working out? No. Because you are concerned with your own work out. That's how it is for 99.99% of the people at the gym. They don't see you, they have no opinion of your performance. You need to move past your self-consciousness, there is not one person at the gym who has an opinion of you, and the only opinion that would matter is yours. A trainer is a fine idea to get you familiar, get you a routine and keep you from feeling isolated.

And take a look at some of the success pix posted on MFP. If you ran into these people in a gym, would you feel intimidated? Well, they've ALL been where you are at today, and they all understand how difficult it can be (and they all look like they know what they are doing). You have no way of knowing that those ladies at your gym haven't been in your shoes, and maybe they all are secretly thinking "you can do it" because they too have made that journey.

divinebird

I second the suggestion of putting on your headphones and just do your thing. Zone out of the rest of the room because a) they don't matter and b) as someone else said, they're all focusing on THEIR bodies.

Also, if you have a friend, go with them! It's best if the friend is of a similar weight/goal to you so you don't feel inferior (not that you should, but you know what I mean). I work out with Tilinka (also here on MFP) and we motivate each other. I know I wouldn't get half as much done if I didn't have her there!

starracer23

Get over it!
Everyone has to start somewhere...
Strike up a convo with a "fit girl" - ask for some tips/advice.
Or just pretend that you are alone and get 'er done.
You are there to get fit/healthy....who cares about everyone else

wantstolooseweight

Personally if you dont feel comfortable there I'm going to tell you to go round your local area, check out all the gyms and find the one that feels the most friendly.... I go to a proper old fashioned spit and sawdust gym simply for that reason... the guys and girls who workout are friendly and the staff are lovely, they will chat ask you your goals give tips and advice. Its a strongman gym... looking at it I would have never thought it was for short fat girls like me but honestly everyone there is there to get fit/loose weight and everyone there started somewhere and they all remember that fact.

Good luck :-)

Angie_1MR

If you are totally unfamiliar with the equipment, you need to hire a trainer. Often a lot of gyms will give you a free training session if you are a new member.

DMarieLVT

Just keep your head high and know that you are doing this for YOURSELF -- no one else. It will take a time or two to get comfortable, but after a while you will get such a rush from a good workout, that it won't even matter anymore Good luck!

ARDuBaie

Just realize that when all those other people started at the gym, they all didn't look as good as they look now. And you will soon be 'one of them'.

Deltafliers

Let's see, I get that same way, and it doesn't help me that I utilize military gyms, so now not only do I feel out of shape and awkward, I also feel like I have a bunch of soldiers jusging me. Granted, I doubt this is true, especially since by going to a gym I am showing I care enough to mak a difference. I don't have the money for a personal trainer, and there are some machines I still can't bring myself to use (like the treadmill).

This is what I have learned works for me: try to go to the gym during slow hours if possible. And the headphones are important too; crank up the volume so you can't hear much else!!! Also, go to the front of the room (weights might be different). When you go to the front, others may be able to watch you, but with the volume cranked on your music there is this wonderful thing called out of mind out of sight. When you using the cardio machines, I also set them to weight loss when they have pre-determined functions. This allows me to work hard enough where I need to focus on finishing, but since they usually involve intervals, I get a break, and look like I can handle myself also.

ps: if the weight room is busy when I go, I still can't bing myself to use it when crowded, and I usually find a cardio machine to use instead. Also, my gym offers certain exercice classes for free, and they tend to be small so I am thinking of taking some of the weight geared classes like trx or gravity.

charanne52

I tend to feel a bit self-conscious as well when I'm in a new situation (like the gym would be for me). Why don't you take a friend along with you for the first few times until you get acclimatized? Or else, sign up for exercise classes at your local community centre where you might feel more comfortable. Regardless, only a real jerk would criticize you for trying to improve your body image - it is far more likely that the "confident" people there would applaud your efforts.

spartangirl79

Just remember that gyms are beautiful havens of self-centeredness. No one's looking at you. They're looking at themselves. You just put on the headphones and do your thing.

What he said.