I was just wondering ... losing weight for others ?

saragato

If the person is losing because of someone else, whether it's to look better or catch their eye, and it's not because the person has said something I don't see a problem. If the situation is that it would honestly make them feel better in their own skin and thus more confident in the relationship, why not?

One of my reasons to lose is my guy. We're long distance and he's always known my weight and he's seen me before we met in person, but when we did meet I was so embarrassed to take my clothes off I thought he was going to tear them up when we tried having sex. I wouldn't even take pictures of us together because I didn't want to show people this tall man who obviously works out against a dumpy little person. I didn't want most of our relationship marred for my hatred of my body. Now, is he the main reason? No. Hell he doesn't even know I'm losing weight.

Along the same vein, my mother sometimes tells me about this boyfriend she dated for 6 years, his family practically adopted her, and she found out he was cheating on her. In fact, ever since they began dating he was sleeping around even though he would tell my mother he loved her and she was the best. His reason was he "needed" to sleep with these women because he couldn't with my mom because he said she was fat. She ended up leaving him, but she did go through years of weight loss fads most likely because of him.

smantha32

I'm partly working on getting it off as a big FU to a couple people who've been snotty to me. lol

Furbuster

Although I want to be to be fit and healthy for myself I also want to look attractive for my bf.

He fancies me more when I am smaller. It doesn't make me feel insecure, it is just his preference for leaner women.

It's no different to me liking men with well developed forearms (as he well knows!)

I *want* him to look at me and think "Yum you are looking goood !". I know I am attractive to him anyway but I could be even more fanciable and I love him.

It's not a bad thing. I see it as a positive in a great relationship

BecomingElle

Well, I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to come out looking like a stunner as a big "**** YOU" to my ex-bf whom I'm still tragically in love with hahah

thelovelyLIZ

I think it's okay to an extent. It shouldn't be the only factor motivating you, and you should ultimately want to do it for yourself, but that doesn't mean looking better for your partner shouldn't provide additional motivation. If you are insecure with your body, it can hinder your relationship.

However, I think a lot of people (young girls especially) think "If I become skinny, then he will like me." I think this is sad and unhealthy. He should like you for who you are, regardless of size. Hopefully you have features that are more important than a flat tummy and skinny thighs too.

KrazyAsianNic

I find it doesn't work to lose weight for other people. I originally wanted to lose weight for my dad. I wanted his acceptance and I felt like he was embarrased to be around me. It never worked though. I finally found a reason why I want to lose weight for myself. And the pros of that reason will not only benefit me, but my neice, nephew, little sister, family, and my loving and understanding boyfriend.

manhn1

If you're losing weight for other people, then did you feel you were fine at that weight? Then, yes, I think that's a problem. Why change if you think you are fine where you are?