One of my closest friends cheated

KristaPetraitis
KristaPetraitis Posts: 38 Member
Ok, so one of my closest friends just texted me to tell me that she cheated on her boyfriend with her ex. She told her boyfriend about it, and his deal is that she has to tell all of her close friends, hence the message.

I just want to say I want to choke her right about now. She's always been attracted to toxic guys and toxic situations. Her and her ex broke up back in March (kinda mutual), so a few weeks later, I had the idea to set her up with a friend. Really nice guy. Well, right after setting them up, her ex came by to pick up his things, and they slept together. This was after we had talked about how he was a liar and no one liked him and everything.

So fast forward a few months, her and her current boyfriend have been dating for a few weeks. I met him for the first time last week and I automatically approved (first guy I have approved of, actually). He is what she has been needing. I was pretty excited for her. Well, then the text happened. All the details I know so far is that her ex came over. She kept trying to get him to leave. He kept pushing her to sleep together, and then, well, they slept together. She completely regrets it. And she doesn't just sleep around or anything just for the fun of it. She wants the fairy tale relationship with the perfect guy and blah blah blah, but she is making the wrong decisions in pursuing that dream.

I'm seeing her tonight, so I'm planning on laying down some tough love. Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this before?

Replies

  • jenbk2
    jenbk2 Posts: 614 Member
    Yes I did. she was my "friend".. Cheated on her husband with a guy who is a drug dealer, scum bag..etc. She lied to me telling me her husband had abused her, cheated on her..etc. All lies. They have a daughter too. I don't really have advice because some people on here can be friends with someone like that. I can not. What she has done to her husband, daughter and family sickens me to the point that I want to physically attack her.
    Good luck tonight. Just be prepared to lose her friendship because some times people think if you are not on their side in situations like this you are not a TRUE friend which is not the case.
  • KristaPetraitis
    KristaPetraitis Posts: 38 Member
    Well, I'm hoping that since I've been completely honest with her with what I've thought of her relationships in the past, if won't affect our friendship. She really didn't have the best examples of what a good man is. Her step dad beat her, while her mom did nothing about it. I just wished she'd know a good thing when she saw one.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    How old is your friend? Maybe she just need to " grow up"?
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Sounds like your friend is a pushover and will just give any guy what they want.

    Her : NO I won't sleep with you!!!
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: Okay fine *kitten* me. Who cares that I have a boyfriend.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    Sounds like your friend is a pushover and will just give any guy what they want.

    Her : NO I won't sleep with you!!!
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: Okay fine *kitten* me. Who cares that I have a boyfriend.

    http://youtu.be/ayXy2gkuBgc

    See that? 50 no's and a yes, means yes.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I think it's really weird and ridiculous that he told her she had to tell all of her friends about it.... shaming your partner isn't exactly a healthy way to deal with relationship problems...


    What's going to happen when you all graduate from West Beverly Hills High and this stuff doesn't fly any more??
  • SofaKingRad
    SofaKingRad Posts: 1,592 Member
    Sounds like your friend is a pushover and will just give any guy what they want.

    Her : NO I won't sleep with you!!!
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: Okay fine *kitten* me. Who cares that I have a boyfriend.

    http://youtu.be/ayXy2gkuBgc

    See that? 50 no's and a yes, means yes.

    50? In this scenario it was only 5!
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I think it's really weird and ridiculous that he told her she had to tell all of her friends about it.... shaming your partner isn't exactly a healthy way to deal with relationship problems...


    What's going to happen when you all graduate from West Beverly Hills High and this stuff doesn't fly any more??
    Personally I like the idea of attaching a scarlett A to all her clothes.
  • BigDaddyBRC
    BigDaddyBRC Posts: 2,395 Member
    He will dump her, have sex with LOTS of sluty and prettier women, and then rub it in her face...point of it all? She's stupid
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    42
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    Thats her punishment?? To tell all her friends...LOL. She must have s**ty friends. I Cheated in the past and all told my friends and all they wanted was details..lol. Whatever. Its her life and there nothing you can do or say to her. If your her true friend you'll just say "well that was dumb..but move on and try to be better, ill be here for you no matter what" My best friend cheated on her ex husband and i will be there for her till i die. She my sister, and while she did some stupid *kitten* in the past, i dont judge her. She did the same for me. Now we are both older and wiser and in stable, loving relationships with kids. Even if she did it again (heaven forbid) i would just hug her and be there for her, of course adding that shes a dumb *kitten*.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    A ho is a ho
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    A ho is a ho

    fo sho
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Thats her punishment?? To tell all her friends...LOL. She must have s**ty friends. I Cheated in the past and all told my friends and all they wanted was details..lol. Whatever. Its her life and there nothing you can do or say to her. If your her true friend you'll just say "well that was dumb..but move on and try to be better, ill be here for you no matter what" My best friend cheated on her ex husband and i will be there for her till i die. She my sister, and while she did some stupid *kitten* in the past, i dont judge her. She did the same for me. Now we are both older and wiser and in stable, loving relationships with kids. Even if she did it again (heaven forbid) i would just hug her and be there for her, of course adding that shes a dumb *kitten*.

    I think I might love you.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    A ho is a ho

    fo sho

    love the sense of humor...**** happens
  • thebaconbeast
    thebaconbeast Posts: 560 Member
    Be cool.
  • anubis609
    anubis609 Posts: 3,966 Member
    Sounds like your friend is a pushover and will just give any guy what they want.

    Her : NO I won't sleep with you!!!
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: NO.
    Him: Please?
    Her: Okay fine *kitten* me. Who cares that I have a boyfriend.

    http://youtu.be/ayXy2gkuBgc

    See that? 50 no's and a yes, means yes.

    50? In this scenario it was only 5!

    Then she's 10x easier to get! =D
  • Fieldsy
    Fieldsy Posts: 1,105 Member
    I dont care if the cheater was my best friend.....I couldn't look at him the same way again.
  • Il_DaniD_lI
    Il_DaniD_lI Posts: 1,593 Member
    Ok, so one of my closest friends just texted me to tell me that she cheated on her boyfriend with her ex. She told her boyfriend about it, and his deal is that she has to tell all of her close friends, hence the message.

    He forgave her as long as she tells everyone what she did? They deserve each other.
  • noirnatural
    noirnatural Posts: 310 Member
    Ok, so one of my closest friends just texted me to tell me that she cheated on her boyfriend with her ex. She told her boyfriend about it, and his deal is that she has to tell all of her close friends, hence the message.

    I just want to say I want to choke her right about now. She's always been attracted to toxic guys and toxic situations. Her and her ex broke up back in March (kinda mutual), so a few weeks later, I had the idea to set her up with a friend. Really nice guy. Well, right after setting them up, her ex came by to pick up his things, and they slept together. This was after we had talked about how he was a liar and no one liked him and everything.

    So fast forward a few months, her and her current boyfriend have been dating for a few weeks. I met him for the first time last week and I automatically approved (first guy I have approved of, actually). He is what she has been needing. I was pretty excited for her. Well, then the text happened. All the details I know so far is that her ex came over. She kept trying to get him to leave. He kept pushing her to sleep together, and then, well, they slept together. She completely regrets it. And she doesn't just sleep around or anything just for the fun of it. She wants the fairy tale relationship with the perfect guy and blah blah blah, but she is making the wrong decisions in pursuing that dream.

    I'm seeing her tonight, so I'm planning on laying down some tough love. Has anyone else ever dealt with anything like this before?

    If she is your friend then listen to her, if she ASK offer her your opinion, I don't agree with giving unsolicited tough love or advice.
    Just based on the things you have said about her ..I get why she is behaving that way..not that its right..
    If anything you may want to further investigate her current boyfriend..because ..who does that...Ill stay with you but your punishment is you must confess your sins to all your close friends...REALLY!!..but you approve of this one..to me that type of attitude speaks of abuse, control and manipulation...
  • noirnatural
    noirnatural Posts: 310 Member
    Thats her punishment?? To tell all her friends...LOL. She must have s**ty friends. I Cheated in the past and all told my friends and all they wanted was details..lol. Whatever. Its her life and there nothing you can do or say to her. If your her true friend you'll just say "well that was dumb..but move on and try to be better, ill be here for you no matter what" My best friend cheated on her ex husband and i will be there for her till i die. She my sister, and while she did some stupid *kitten* in the past, i dont judge her. She did the same for me. Now we are both older and wiser and in stable, loving relationships with kids. Even if she did it again (heaven forbid) i would just hug her and be there for her, of course adding that shes a dumb *kitten*.
    You my dear are a REAL FRIEND!!!
  • noirnatural
    noirnatural Posts: 310 Member
    I think it's really weird and ridiculous that he told her she had to tell all of her friends about it.... shaming your partner isn't exactly a healthy way to deal with relationship problems...


    What's going to happen when you all graduate from West Beverly Hills High and this stuff doesn't fly any more??

    LMAO
  • nas24
    nas24 Posts: 880 Member
    Thats her punishment?? To tell all her friends...LOL. She must have s**ty friends. I Cheated in the past and all told my friends and all they wanted was details..lol. Whatever. Its her life and there nothing you can do or say to her. If your her true friend you'll just say "well that was dumb..but move on and try to be better, ill be here for you no matter what" My best friend cheated on her ex husband and i will be there for her till i die. She my sister, and while she did some stupid *kitten* in the past, i dont judge her. She did the same for me. Now we are both older and wiser and in stable, loving relationships with kids. Even if she did it again (heaven forbid) i would just hug her and be there for her, of course adding that shes a dumb *kitten*.
    You my dear are a REAL FRIEND!!!

    S**t, if my BF need help getting rid of a body, id be there in a heartbeat... but that in no way is a confession :glasses:
  • kms1981
    kms1981 Posts: 207 Member
    Ok, so one of my closest friends just texted me to tell me that she cheated on her boyfriend with her ex. She told her boyfriend about it, and his deal is that she has to tell all of her close friends, hence the message.

    He forgave her as long as she tells everyone what she did? They deserve each other.

    ^^ AGREE! Why can they not be gown up and work it out on their own. How many people are in their relationship? Crazy. They do deserve each other.
  • noirnatural
    noirnatural Posts: 310 Member
    Thats her punishment?? To tell all her friends...LOL. She must have s**ty friends. I Cheated in the past and all told my friends and all they wanted was details..lol. Whatever. Its her life and there nothing you can do or say to her. If your her true friend you'll just say "well that was dumb..but move on and try to be better, ill be here for you no matter what" My best friend cheated on her ex husband and i will be there for her till i die. She my sister, and while she did some stupid *kitten* in the past, i dont judge her. She did the same for me. Now we are both older and wiser and in stable, loving relationships with kids. Even if she did it again (heaven forbid) i would just hug her and be there for her, of course adding that shes a dumb *kitten*.
    You my dear are a REAL FRIEND!!!

    S**t, if my BF need help getting rid of a body, id be there in a heartbeat... but that in no way is a confession :glasses:
    :drinker: ME TOO!!!..LOL
  • Deedsie
    Deedsie Posts: 348 Member
    OMG, the advice you should give your friend is to run screaming from the current boyfriend. She ****** up. It isn't cool but she did tell him and now he is punishing her and trying to make all her friends mad at her so that she is isolated. Plus, this relationship has not even been going on for that long.

    Your friend needs to value herself as more than just someone's ****buddy. She isn't going to grow self-respect from some tough love. That only will come when she starts to see that she is worth more than a casual romp.
  • tabulator32
    tabulator32 Posts: 701 Member
    42

    And don't forget your towel.
  • Flixie00
    Flixie00 Posts: 1,195 Member
    Yep, with family members and friends. I was a bit disapointed, but they are still my relation / friend and regardless of what they do (bar unjustified murder) I will be there for them. I would not post their tale on a public forum, but maybe I am bit old fashioned.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    S**t, if my BF need help getting rid of a body, id be there in a heartbeat... but that in no way is a confession :glasses:
    Why aren't we friends? Also, do you have some duck tape, bleach and some plastic sheeting I can borrow?