weight gain death of only child

kolohe91

I gained 57 lbs after my only child, Christopher died.. I ballooned up to 225.6 lbs. Finally started eating better and getting out of bed Jan 3 this year. Currently I am at 198.8. It felt good to get below 200. For over a month - I wasnt consistant with my food nor exercise so I bounced between 201 and 204. I still spend way too many hours in bed. On the positive side I have worked up to swimming a mile nonstop and riding my bike between 10 - 15 miles at a time. June 21 would have been my son's 21st birthday so I rode my bike 21 miles which took me 1 hr 50 minutes.

girlyathlete21

Stay strong and good for you!!!! Your child wouldve wanted to see you healthy and living life!!!

debboike

Your story is heart touching. I am sure it is hard to go on each day. I too would like to be under 200. Keep up the great job. You should be proud of what you have accomplished.

BigRich822

I am proud of you keep up the good work and if you need anything I am here for you.

sweebum

Oh, honey, I am so very sorry for your loss.

I think it's great how you are regaining control of your diet and exercise. You deserve to be happy and healthy.:flowerforyou:

rose313

I'm sorry for your loss. The 21 miles for his 21st birthday is touching! Keep incorporating Christopher into your exercises. He is watching and cheering you on!

meggiemaye

I have gained since the death of my younger brother by an accidental overdose on prescription pain medication. I am grieving but working and always looking for new friends! I am very supportive :0) I'll keep you in my thoughts!

Foren6chick

I lost my mother almost 2 years ago, and I gained 30lbs, I am just now trying to get my health back. You can do it!!! Sounds like you are one the right track! Stay Strong!

bricktowngal

Very sad story. I wish you all the best and luck in the world!

13nicholas

I am so sorry for your loss - it is my biggest fear. I am rooting for you!!!!!!

bergsangel

I am sorry to hear of your son's passing. It is great that you are starting to regain control. Sometimes I use exercise to dull pain. It seems that the pain gives me the drive on some days. Good luck to you.

Babymomakell

June 21 would have been my son's 21st birthday so I rode my bike 21 miles which took me 1 hr 50 minutes.

This is beautiful, you know that your son wants your happiness, and he is there in spirit encouraging you every mile. I use the gym to let out all my emotions... am I sometimes the weird chick who is crying on the treadmill, sure... but who cares? It makes me feel better, and it might help you too.

CWatermelon

I gained 57 lbs after my only child, Christopher died.. I ballooned up to 225.6 lbs. Finally started eating better and getting out of bed Jan 3 this year. Currently I am at 198.8. It felt good to get below 200. For over a month - I wasnt consistant with my food nor exercise so I bounced between 201 and 204. I still spend way too many hours in bed. On the positive side I have worked up to swimming a mile nonstop and riding my bike between 10 - 15 miles at a time. June 21 would have been my son's 21st birthday so I rode my bike 21 miles which took me 1 hr 50 minutes.

I lost my daughter and life has never been the same. I take everyday one day at a time and I keep really busy. So busy that I forgot to take care of myself. I am taking care of myself now Stay on your strong side.

Laura_Ivy

When I lost my Grandma -who was just like my Mom- to cancer suddenly in October it took all my happiness and sucked it into a black hole somewhere and I could barely function. I am so sorry for the loss of your son but I am so happy to see you trying to rise above the grief. If you need supportive friends please feel free to add me!

sexforjaffacakes

I lost a friend 2 weeks ago, he was only 19 and I know how much his family are struggling - I am dreading the funeral because I know it will be so so heartbreaking burying someone so young, and seeing his parents.

Sadly what happened shows life is delicate and fleeting - you need to honour your son by living your life to the full, and getting healthy is part of this.

crissyrox

I am so sorry for your loss. I know that words can never heal what has happened, the pain will always be there. However with time, it will get easier. I know that when my mom passed a few months ago, it was extremely hard and still is. However one of the cards I recieved had a really touching message that helped me. I hope it helps you as well...

"I'm not great at what words or any words that help. It sucks. Period. Everyone will offer up their thoughts but I thought they were all futile, so I offer you this. It was the only thing that brought me comfort, I hope it does for you as well.
'Do not stand at my grave and weep. I am not there, I do not sleep. I am a thousan winds that blow; I am the diamond glints on the snow. I am the sunlight that ripened grain; I am the gentle autumn's rain. When you awaken in the mornings hush, I am the sweet uplifting rush, of quite birds in circled flight. I am the soft star that shines at night. Do not stand at my grave and cry. I am not there; I did not die"

The best we can do is try to hold onto their memories. Your son would be proud of you for trying to be healthy, he wouldn't have wanted you to stay in bed. The old addage still holds true no matter if your son calls earth or heaven home; in order to take care of our kids and be good mothers we must first take care of ourselves. I'm proud of you.

wabisabi

I am so sorry for your loss.

fteale

I don't have anything to say but my heart is breaking for you. I am so sorry for your loss. You are amazing for just carrying on breathing each day.

SPNLuver83

That is so so sad. I am so sorry. Stay strong.

mogriff1

I'm sending ((((hugs)))) and condolences to you. It sounds cliche, but I'm sure your son would want you to be happy and healthy. I agree with the other poster, incorporate your son into your workouts for inspiration and motivation. I'm praying for you as you cope with your loss. :flowerforyou:

pamn1146

I know your pain. I lost my only daughter, age 33, to cancer six years ago. It is a daily struggle, however I'm sure your son would want you to live your life to the fullest by eating healthy with light excercise. I'm sure you'll be an inspiration to all who know you. Good luck.

amivox

My heart broke when I read this. I can't imagine how difficult things have been for you, but I think its wonderful that you are honoring him with things that are keeping you healthy and happy. He would want you to pursue happiness. I wish you all the best.

Nicolee_2014

:flowerforyou:

TurtleRunnerNC

I am terribly sorry for your loss. Words cannot bring him back nor ease your pain but I think it is wonderful that you are taking steps in the right direction & I think he would be proud of you.

There are lots of wonderful people on this site who can support you in your journey.

kolohe91

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I am so very glad I found this website today. Now I am off to go ride my bike. I live in Georgia and it is very hot here so waited for it to get a little bit later. It is almost 7pm so need to get my gear on before it gets any later. I do have reflective gear, headlight, and tail lights but dont like to ride too much past dusk.

hugs

ant6840

My heart goes out to you and I know your pain. I lost my son , not my only child, and he was 44 years old, but the pain is the same.
You are doing the right thing, you need to get out of bed and get going as hard as it is. I hope you have a good support system. I had lots of counseling, it helps.

I am trying to get into getting fit and am having trouble knowing where to start, i decided to start slowly. Just joined with my PTs encouragement so will give it a try, hoping i can get some motivation here.

Good Luck to you......Take care, Hugs to you...

wreckedredhead60

I work for a school district and have seen the loss of so many young people when their lives are just beginning. I can not begin to understand what you are going through, but would love to be there for support. My sister lost a 21 year old son, 16 year old grand daughter and a 3 month old granddaughter in a span of 4 years. I have told her what a strong woman she is and how proud I am of her and that I would probably just give up. She said you find out exactly how strong you are and it looks like you are finding your strength. If you ever need a friend, I'm here. Please add me as a friend.

kolohe91

Reread everyone's posts - thank you all for your kind, supportive, uplifting words - they are very much appreciated - yesterday I didnt feel like going to the gym and recalled your posts and it reminded me that I do have the inner strength so even though I just felt like I wanted to continue laying in bed and shut the world out - I went to the gym and once I started swimming felt strong and decided to go for speed and see how fast I could swim a half mile - I had been doing a few sprints of 1 lenth during my 60 lengths (1 mile) workouts but yesteday decided to go for a half mile with almost all 30 lengths faster than my normal 50 - 60 seconds lengths - I did the 30 lengths in 26 min 20 sec then did another 30 min with doing one length at my very fastest then resting 45 - 60 sec and then doing another length

davidsgirl145

I can't imagine! It hurts my heart to even think about it! I'm so proud of you for taking the steps to take care of yourself again.... Christopher would want that for you! :flowerforyou: Hugs!!!!!

stacymama5

First, I am so sorry for your loss!!

I know that your son would be so very proud of you and you need to be so very proud of yourself!!

KIMBAILEYWILLIAMSON

can't even imagine the pain you have and are going through, the loss of a child is the greatest of pains for a parent. I am so very sorry for your loss.