Lack of Support at Home

CBoogie84

I live with my boyfriend of 5 years and since we've been together I have gained a good 15-20lbs. He lives a very unhealthy lifestyle, eating anything and everything under the sun at all times of the day, never wants to workout, and really dislikes me cooking dinner 7 nights a week.

For the last month I have been working pretty hard on my fitness and weight loss goals, going to the gym, working with a personal trainer, and cooking at home as much as possible. Now this past month is just another journey I've started in my 2 years of weight loss rollercoaster ride, so the process is not new to my boyfriend, but every time I'm motivated and ready to "really" work on myself, all I get is backlash from him and it makes it really hard for me to stay motivated. I know I can't rely on someone else to motivate me, I need to do it for myself, but at the same time having your partner continuously tell you "Yea, yea, yea, you've said all these things before and look where you are now." doesn't really do much for my positive outlook.

He hates that I want to cook every meal at home (and when I say every meal I only mean dinner since that's the only time we eat together during the day). He would rather go out to eat all the time because "the food is better at restaurants" and what he means by that is he hates eating my "healthy food". He would rather eat fried chicken than baked chicken, he refuses to eat vegetables, if I tell him anything is whole wheat or grain, he puts up a fight, it's like working with a child. Now the food I cook is healthy, but it's not over the top, I'm not a vegetarian, or vegan, I typically will make a meat, veggie, and rice or something and to anyone else who has ever eaten with us, loves my cooking.

Working out is another story, I like to go to the gym after work (I have an incredibly hard time getting up for work in the morning, much less trying to get up at 5am to workout). He has a gym membership, but never wants to go, and when I go after work I wont get home and even start dinner until about 8pm or so. By then he's starving and asks why I can't just go in the morning since it's better to start your day that way anyway. I want to go when I want to go and not because you're too hungry by 8:30 and don't want to wait that long.

I'm having a hard time continuously staying on track when at every turn I'm met with resistance at home. I'm not a crazy workout maniac or health food fanatic, I'm simply trying to make better choices so I can be happier with myself. Does anyone else have these issues? How do you handle it and stay motivated to "do you"?

sarbahanew

hey! I think I have a similar situation... I've living been with my (new!) husband for about 5 years and have gained like 40 pounds in that time :sad: . He's not as resistant as your boyfriend sounds, but he has really poor eating habits and likes to keep snacks around the house. I also try to cook healthy meals at home, but he is so picky and never wants to eat what I make! So I feel like I have to prepare two different meals.
I've decided recently to just worry about myself - cooking healthy meals and taking the time to exercise is just something I NEED to do for myself. He's an adult and can fend for himself or join me if he wishes! When there are things he needs to do with his life, I'm sure he doesn't consider my feelings as much as I'm considering his in making this decision. That's the problem with being a woman I guess!

CBoogie84

It's good to know at least I'm not the only one in this similar situation. I do think we (women) care more about trying to please others than they (men) do, so I should start working towards what I want and need more instead of focusing on pleasing everyone. Good luck on your weight loss journey!

leslisa

A couple of suggestions.

For the working out. Can you split the difference. Maybe work out in the am on the weekends and the pm on the week days?

For the food. I understand being starving and not wanting to wait for dinner. Can you pre-cook items and then warm them? This especially works well with foods such as chicken fajitas (cook chicken & onions on the weekend or night before and nuke it when you get home), casseroles, Chinese food, etc.

I do understand. My hubby also hates healthy, but he will often make his own food if he doesn't like mine.

FatStoatLondon

Dump him.