My beau is worried I'm gonna forget him due to working out

kassiebby1124

It was quite sad, actually )': I told him that I took up kickboxing now, in addition to my other weight loss regimes, and he was like "I think you're taking this exercise thing too far." At first, it broke my heart. I was upset that he wasn't being supportive. But when I asked him why, he said he didn't want me to get "injured." While I believe that, I know my boy. So I broke him down enough for him to out the truth. He said he's worried I'm going to be more focused on weight loss than I will him...it was so saddening. I re-assured him, but still, it was disheartening for him to say that because my ex said the same thing. Is it bad that I have my mind set on what I want? >.< I don't want to let anyone down or make anyone sad, but this is making me happy..I just feel like I'm disappointing people.

coliema

You should find things you could do together, while still working out.

My fiance and I play tennis, we both like it, I'm doing it to workout and because I like it, he's doing it because he likes it. We both also bought bicycles three years ago and we ride them all the time.

Just try to find fun things you like to do and he likes to do, and do them together.

kassiebby1124

You should find things you could do together, while still working out.

My fiance and I play tennis, we both like it, I'm doing it to workout and because I like it, he's doing it because he likes it. We both also bought bicycles three years ago and we ride them all the time.

Just try to find fun things you like to do and he likes to do, and do them together.

I tried that..he hates all forms of exercise..

cramernh

He needs to realize that you are doing this for yourself because it means getting healthier for yourself.

Im willing to bet its going alot more than just "focusing more on exercise than on me"....

Im willing to bet he is scared poopless that you might find someone else more attractive with the more weight loss that happens, etc... or perhaps another man will gain your interest, so on and so forth.

I dont think he is being 100% truthful, more like 75% with that statement you quoted from him hun...

curvymomo3

hmmm kinda sounds like my husband sometimes... he has gotten better tho. Its insecurity really,One day after he so lovingly suggested " Hey lets go out to burgerking!" I in frustration asked.. " why are you sabatoging me???!!" and that is when he told me he is worried that once I dump all the weight there will be nothing holding me back, even him. I swore to him he is my highschool sweetie, my love and I am in love with HIM. then his rebuttle, " thats what you say now... "
SO I just came to this conclusion I am no longer going to allow him to control me, I am going to keep focused, get this weight off, do what it takes and love him through the process. Its hard when your both heavy and one starts changing and the other feels left behind. I have tried over and over to get him to come to the gym and to no avail... I keep offering today and will always, but never nag him. I do things constantly to show him love and try not to talk about the fitness/eating all the time in front of him but act normal as possible.

hang in there dont give up!!!

dcain2

hmmm kinda sounds like my husband sometimes... he has gotten better tho. Its insecurity really,One day after he so lovingly suggested " Hey lets go out to burgerking!" I in frustration asked.. " why are you sabatoging me???!!" and that is when he told me he is worried that once I dump all the weight there will be nothing holding me back, even him. I swore to him he is my highschool sweetie, my love and I am in love with HIM. then his rebuttle, " thats what you say now... "
SO I just came to this conclusion I am no longer going to allow him to control me, I am going to keep focused, get this weight off, do what it takes and love him through the process. Its hard when your both heavy and one starts changing and the other feels left behind. I have tried over and over to get him to come to the gym and to no avail... I keep offering today and will always, but never nag him. I do things constantly to show him love and try not to talk about the fitness/eating all the time in front of him but act normal as possible.

hang in there dont give up!!!

My Hubby is just like this....I thought I was the only one! Now I don't feel as bad~~ I thought I was torturing him ! I still can't get him to exercise! But I keep trying!

Rach_Gem_n_Disguise

I was going to say the same thing about trying to get him to exercise with you. Don't give in to his insecurities. Eventually he'll see how much you're doing all of it for yourself and your health without neglecting him. Then maybe it will give him inspiration to start with you. :happy:

curvymomo3

hmmm kinda sounds like my husband sometimes... he has gotten better tho. Its insecurity really,One day after he so lovingly suggested " Hey lets go out to burgerking!" I in frustration asked.. " why are you sabatoging me???!!" and that is when he told me he is worried that once I dump all the weight there will be nothing holding me back, even him. I swore to him he is my highschool sweetie, my love and I am in love with HIM. then his rebuttle, " thats what you say now... "
SO I just came to this conclusion I am no longer going to allow him to control me, I am going to keep focused, get this weight off, do what it takes and love him through the process. Its hard when your both heavy and one starts changing and the other feels left behind. I have tried over and over to get him to come to the gym and to no avail... I keep offering today and will always, but never nag him. I do things constantly to show him love and try not to talk about the fitness/eating all the time in front of him but act normal as possible.

hang in there dont give up!!!

My Hubby is just like this....I thought I was the only one! Now I don't feel as bad~~ I thought I was torturing him ! I still can't get him to exercise! But I keep trying!

we had another "heart to heart " this morning that ended up with me in tears telling him my heart is to see him in the gym too because Im scared for his health! wich lead to a period of silence, than I said if you dedicate going to the gym three days a week, then I will play airsoft with you. He has been BEGGING me to play for Yeaaaars .........His eyes LIT UP and he said okay!!!! Im not going to tell him what to do at the gym but just be fun and I will suck it up and learn to shoot and play his fav. sport!

Oldnphat

Before I deployed and had a change of heart, I used to sit on the couch with a beer while my wife did zumba, now I'm off the sauce and dieting myself!

doggiesnot

Stand up for what you believe in. Reassure him, but he needs to not "hate all forms of exercise" to gain your long-term respect, I would think! Encourage him to work out with you. Tell him you want to do this together with him! Hope that helps.

piinchi

He's afraid if you change too much, you may decide you need to make other changes - such as with your relationship. He feels insecure because your commitment to exercise is "taking you away" from him. You can try to assure him that you're doing this so that you're a healthier, happier, and more energetic person for the both of you, but that he isn't going to be replaced by exercise. If he still feels insecure or tries to guilt you/bully you into quitting, then you need to think long and hard if the person you love really does love you back. Good luck.

Easywider

Hm..My name is Beau.

MissAnjy

He needs to realize that as much as he may love you how you are, you don't fully love yourself yet, and it's crucial that you do.
This happens a lot, and a lot of men (and women) are selfish this way. He needs to think of you, and what this is doing for you, and your happiness. If he felt THAT BADLY about being "left behind", he would join you, regardless of how much he loathes exercise.

LeenaRuns

Before I deployed and had a change of heart, I used to sit on the couch with a beer while my wife did zumba, now I'm off the sauce and dieting myself!

My husband used to make fun of me for logging and working out all the time...now he's totally into it too!

lciupa

At the end of the day, you only have yourself to count on. You have to wake up every day feeling good for you- before you can worry about others. Make yourself happy first the rest will come.
Good luck!

LadyRush

In my opinion, it's just insecurity talking. You are changing your life and he's feeling like he'll be left behind. Or someone bigger, better looking etc...will come and scoop you and your new awesomness up! When he sees that you adore him and only him and that life isn't changing he'll come around! Mine did and it was for the better! If you are committed to each other, you can get through anything!

sculley

I don't know the whole story so I don't know how serious you are, so if you are going too far you need to find a healthy balance. My husband and I were dating he used to lift for like four hour everyday....too me that is overboard especially when you have a family.

On a different note I was in a marriage where my ex husband was so totally against me loosing weight he said his friends said i was only doing it to attract other men and leave him (granted I didn't leave him because of that I left him because while I tried so hard to get him to work out with me he was too busy "working out" with a female gym partner)

I agree with alot of the other responses...reassure him that you are trying to be healthy and live a long life. My husband and I have started swimming together. Find something ya'll can do together even if it's an evening stroll. Find something he likes to do and do it in a way ya'll both can get what you want out of it.

piinchi

Before I deployed and had a change of heart, I used to sit on the couch with a beer while my wife did zumba, now I'm off the sauce and dieting myself!

My husband used to make fun of me for logging and working out all the time...now he's totally into it too!

My fiance isn't into fitness (so he says), though he supports me and encourages me when I push myself. Still, I've noticed his personal interest creeping up... like suddenly he's talking about his "goal weight" and asking me to go for a walk with him in the evening! He never did this stuff before!! I gotta say, its lit a little bit of a fire between us

ninerbuff

It's called balance. I've actually had a boyfriend/husband physically call me up and tell me that I'm brain washing their SO with exercise (most I only see once or twice a week) or that I'm having affairs with them!!! Males can be very jealous and overprotective as well as insecure.
While losing weight to get to a normal range is important, what's more important is how you go about doing it and part of that is not to forget that others around you are affected. There should be at least one day of the week for you both, IMO. I personally do this and it's the day I look forward to each week.
Good luck.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 28+ years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

IllianaIman

Now that summer is here, maybe you guys can both go for long walk on the beach or parks….I think that’s a great way for both of you to spend some quality time, while exercising without even knowing it!

MoreThanMommie

My hubby isn't big on working out either. But sometimes he's willing to just go for a walk and spend time talking. It helps of spend time together and walking is just walking, so it doesn't feel like exercise to him.