How do i tell my fiance...

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  • ElleBee66
    ElleBee66 Posts: 128 Member
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    A lot of people find (well I did!) that a current photo is the turning point - someone put up photos of me on Facebook and I after I had spent ages untagging them it pretty much hit me - it took a while longer for me to do anything about it but I still feel sick when I think of them.
  • annababes71
    annababes71 Posts: 3
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    I agree with isabel, but everybody is different what my son said to me gave me the kick up the backside i needed and maybe her fiance would rather be told in a direct way then to be told in a sympathetic almost pitying way x
  • anuroopr
    anuroopr Posts: 12 Member
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    I think a great way to get him making more healthy lifestyle choices would be if you do more physical stuff together over summer. Get out, go hike, jog, swim, run. Being together will allow you to make these choices for both of you. And the great advantage is doing all this will help in strengthening your bonds too! Have you tried that?
  • hyper24
    hyper24 Posts: 27
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    LMAO !!!! That takes a lot of commitment Mzbug !
  • digitalbill
    digitalbill Posts: 1,410 Member
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    I know that my wife mentioned my weight to me several times and also dropped hints (Lets go for a walk/bike/swim).
    It was the doctor that opened my eyes.
    She was brutally blunt.
    She also checked me for what I will call "fat boy" problems.
    High blood pressure. Sugar problems and edema.
    Well, everything turned out good except for the blood pressure which was just a little bit higher then normal.
    It scared me.
    I don't want to be one of those guys at 60 years old in a hoverround and oxygen.
  • stacyjbaker1010
    stacyjbaker1010 Posts: 161 Member
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    Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

    These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:

    These are good ways of ensuring you lose him. If any partner of mine tried anything as cruel and under-handed as this we'd both be single in a shot. Put the boot on the other foot - how would YOU feel if a guy said anything as evil as this to you?

    AMEN!!!
  • vade43113
    vade43113 Posts: 836 Member
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    I would ask him, if anything is stressing him? and explain your reasoning behind it.... that you are worried about him.
  • LennyInFlorida
    LennyInFlorida Posts: 202
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    Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

    These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:

    LOL that's evil but awesome at the same time!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

    These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:
    That's reprehensible. Honestly whomever would try such tactics should be ashamed of themselves.
  • Person192
    Person192 Posts: 13 Member
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    Maybe focus on eating healthily rather than losing weight, which he might get offended by. Try encouraging him to eat healthily because of the other health problems you mentioned.
  • hookandy
    hookandy Posts: 278 Member
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    Having been there, with a caring other half wanting me to lose weight I am not sure there is an answer. It took a Biggest Loser Challange at work to open my eyes. Even after a few years of delicate nagging from the better half.

    However be careful and nagging will have the direct opposite result! We blokes are stubborn like that.
  • zsaoosh
    zsaoosh Posts: 402 Member
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    Sounds like you have been trying so maybe now its time for a doctor to help. Next time he has a check up, tell the doctor how worried you are and maybe he can talk some health since into him. Good luck!
  • AZnewme
    AZnewme Posts: 228 Member
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    Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

    These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:
    That's just evil. :-D

    And devilishly clever! ; ) - Ok, and probably a terrible idea.
  • wingednotes
    wingednotes Posts: 279
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    50 pounds in a year? Sickly pale? Loss of motivation? "The list goes on and on?"

    Time to see a doctor.
  • zsaoosh
    zsaoosh Posts: 402 Member
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    Tell him nicely, then drop the subject. He will lose weight when HE feels like it is a problem. Start moving the buttons IN on his pants. Wash some of his stuff in hot water and dry on high heat. Replace his underwear with some a size smaller. Pat his belly when you walk by. Move his car seat forward a notch. Mention during an intimate moment that he used to feel longer. Giggle when he walks by and when he asks.... "just admiring the way you jiggle as you go by".

    These little tricks were learned from my SIL....my brother lost 60 pounds once HE thought it was a problem. :devil:
    That's reprehensible. Honestly whomever would try such tactics should be ashamed of themselves.

    I dont think mental and emotional abuse is the answer. That isn’t supporting a healthy lifestyle. If someone treated me like that, they wouldn’t be in my life!
  • FitBunnyEm
    FitBunnyEm Posts: 320
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    Maybe compliment him? E.g. I love your strong arms/biceps/shoudlers etc. and maybe then he'll be like "likes my arms, aye?" and start trying to make them even better! I've seen it happen before.

    Or something like, I just love being with someone when I workout, but you're my favourite person to spend time with. Keep me company this once?

    Tell him you'll always love him no matter what, but you want to love him for as long as possible, so you'd love it if he'd like to get in shape with you! Try to make it something you can do together, instead of putting all this pressure on him :)
    YEP agree with this...good luck x
  • jilliebk
    jilliebk Posts: 252 Member
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    I'm in the same boat as u. My husband is doing the same, and I try to talk to him but it falls on deaf ears
  • marathon64
    marathon64 Posts: 378 Member
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    Take this very seriously. Do not believe he will ever change until you see that he DOES change. YOU do not have any control of this.

    If this is make or break for you in the relationship then tell him NOW. Keep in mind all the health consequences that he could have, and their implications for YOU if he maintains this lifestyle. I have had a lot of heartache in my life because of a loved one who did not take better care of themselves and had I know this is the path my life would have taken I would have made different choices. It sounds brutal but it doesn't make me a bad person. You need to take responsibility for your own happiness and think about how this might have an impact on it.
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    Yeah, way to go everybody.

    Make the poor guy feel unattractive AND sexually inadequate.


    Look, he's a chef, he's around great food all day, and if he's a good chef, he's tasting it all day too.

    Men might not respond well to constant reminders, because WE see that as nagging, but we are competitive, and do respond to positive role models.

    Gordon Ramsay runs EVERY DAY, because he has to, because he's a chef. Your BF needs to see a man doing what he does, but better, and keeping in shape too.

    But to get the ball rolling, why don't you use your feminine charm and good looks and sees if you can't tempt him out on a hike once a week. Find something YOU can bear to do, that'll get him to see how much fun being healthy is. It'll be harder work for you, and you might feel it's just not worth it, but being fit can be good for 2, don't you think?

    I like this!

    Something I used to say to my now ex bf was: "You know honey, you drink, smoke and you've stopped exercising. I love you (I did at the time!), and i want you to be around with me for as long as possible, and be around and healthy for our future children." The next day he went out and put himself on the patch, and took out the mountain bike.
  • shelbyfrootcake
    shelbyfrootcake Posts: 965 Member
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    Even when you tell him, and no matter how you tell him, don't expect him to heed it. My partner is obese (we wasn't when we got together) but refuses to pay any attention to his increasing waistband. I've tried nicely encouraging him to eat better by offering to cook for him, but he's not interested. He will mention exercising once in a blue moon but never actually does it. He won't even accept that he's obese, as far as he's concerned he's just a bit overweight.

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