NSV Success (small) Story

dhiammarath
dhiammarath Posts: 834 Member
It is hard for me to post this. Namely because I'm so… shy about myself. My self-confidence has never been really high. Even in High School, when I was (I now realize) well within the healthy weight range for my height, all I saw was a fat girl. A fat, ugly girl.

My story is not unlike anyone else's here. I am not a special snowflake, and it feels good to know that others have encountered these same issues and overcame them. Or are valiantly working to over come them.

My weight yo-yo'd in college as I went from having a lot of health problems and little appetite. This is really when I started getting less active too, something learned from spending months in pain. So after my surgery, I maintained the very little activity, but was able to eat normally again. I gained, then lost rapidly when I could no longer afford money for food. After months of a malt-o-meal diet, when I could afford food… man. I ate.

I've never eaten a *lot*, mind you. Just, I didn't watch what I consumed. I crept into building a lifestyle of doing what I wanted without thinking about the end goal. And the weight crept on. Even more so with a successful, but stressful, career. Which meant, over-eating the catered food and getting even less exercise chained to my desk as I was. I could never understand why, and a big part of it was not understanding what I was eating.

Ten years later, a friend showed me this site. It changed my life. This past January, I started a gym membership with my husband, became a MFP member, and got a fitbit. My husband (we just hit our 10 year anniversary) also joined, making fitness and weight loss a 'together' thing.

So now, we watch our calories, walk every day (I use my FitBit to get at least 10,000 steps a day) and have a gym membership that we use three days a week. Without all of these tools and without the personal desire to motivate me, I wouldn't be where I am today -- two pounds shy of 50 pounds lost.

I'm still too shy to post pictures. Namely, because my confidence level is still very low. I've lost almost 50 pounds, and some days I see the new me in the mirror. And other days, that little voice tells me that I'm still fat, and 50 pounds may be gone, but there's a lot of me left. Beyond just … losing the physical pounds, it takes so much *more* to budge the mental body image. Which is even more important in maintaining long-term happiness.

So my success story today is being able to walk into a clothing store in the mall, and find something that fits. Beyond sizes, beyond all of that -- I was able to look into the mirror and go, "Wow! I'm having fun! This fits! and it's not even 'just barely fitting'."

Not only am I completely free of stores such as Lane Bryant (a plus size store, which is actually a pretty good store), but slowly, I am working on that mental body image.

If that doesn't change, it doesn't matter if I hit my goal weight, because I'll never be happy.

As far as success stories, it's not much compared to the huge accomplishments of everyone on these forums, but it's mine. And today… well, today I felt pretty. And normal. And like I've *achieved* something.

More than that, I felt proud of myself. For the first time in a long time.

Replies

  • dtr1974
    dtr1974 Posts: 5 Member
    Really well done - more than losing weight, you seem to be feeling better about yourself which, in my opinion, is priceless!!

    Well done again.
  • dhiammarath
    dhiammarath Posts: 834 Member
    Thank you! :)
  • kayl3igh88
    kayl3igh88 Posts: 428 Member
    Congratulations to you!!
  • Karen_DisneyFan
    Karen_DisneyFan Posts: 130 Member
    What an awesome story!! That's a great accomplishment, thank you for posting!!
  • Thank you for sharing!! Congrats on your accomplishments! :)
  • TurtleRunnerNC
    TurtleRunnerNC Posts: 751 Member
    Congratulations! ! Sounds like you are doing fantastic! !
  • mattmoo33
    mattmoo33 Posts: 36
    Hey - you are a very special snowflake xxxx part of this journey is about believing in that.

    Thank you for sharing your story and well done on your loss - it and you are awesome xxxx
  • ThorneDust
    ThorneDust Posts: 189 Member
    Go you!!! I look forward to the day that I'm free of Lane Bryant. It's coming soon - I can feel it. And I know what you're facing and it's no small feat. Congrats on the steps you have taken so far! I'm glad you shared your story. I have lots of internal things I must deal with and have dealt with as apart of this progress and it is 100% tougher than the physical aspect of it for me at least.
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