Rough start

neveah5

I downloaded this app a couple months ago and the same day I deleted it. I feel ready some days to start eating healthy, then I eat terribly and say "oh I can start tomorrow, or after the holidays, or before summer, or before fall....". I am addicted to food. I always have been. In school I didn't have to worry about what I ate. I played sports and was pretty fit at 115lbs until I graduated. I'm now 28 years old and my weight has gone from 130lbs and up and down thru 2 pregnancies, different illnesses and several job changes. I haven't worked in about 3 years and am now at an all time high of 232lbs at 5'5. I'm miserable and depressed. I have high blood pressure and slightly high cholesterol. I'm lucky to not have diabetes.

So here I am. I am in desperate need of support. I had coaches making me work out when I was in school. I wouldn't have done it otherwise. I don't do jogging. I'm very prone to spraining my ankles, especially now with how heavy I am. I love to walk and was doing it a lot in the spring. Sprained my ankle a couple weeks ago walking down 2 stairs. I think I'm healed up enough to walk with very little pain so I'm gonna give it a shot today.

I have very little motivation to do anything and I resort to taking Stackers every couple of days just to get going. It works. But I've gotten to the point where I'm embarrassed to walk out the door. Im ashamed of myself for continuing on this path. I'm worried about my health now. It's no longer just a vanity thing. It's now affecting every aspect of my life as well as my kids lives. My husband is supportive, but not in the ways I need him to be. He won't go on walks with me. He walks all day at work. When I lose even just a few pounds I can feel it and it feels great. But I go right back to my old ways.

Anyways. I'm giving it another go. I won't set a goal because I need to lose almost 100lbs to be at what "they" consider to be a healthy weight. I guess I could do short term goals. Kind of like AA. One day at a time for me.