Is it just Ennui?

Grimmerick

I am starting to get really freaked out that I am going to be buying a house getting married and starting a family within the next two years. All of a sudden I am questioning if I am completely in love with the guy I am with, I know I love him but am I supposed to be head over heels in love with him? Doesn't that fade off into something not as exciting but more secure? He is older than me and I keep worrying that I don't have time to waste on having kids with him like I would if I was with someone more my age. Part of my comfort is that I know I can trust him completely and that he would do anything for me. Problem he is in debt and will be for the next few years and I will have to take care of more of the money stuff, down payment for house, expenses for having a child. Honestly it makes me resentful but he really does the best he can. I want to go out and have fun and not answer to anyone again, but the other part of me is saying that's just superficial fun, what if you give up a secure relationship and having a house and family only to find out that the going out and not answering to anyone isn't what I wanted either. I am so confused, are these normal feelings? Any advice, sigh I hate this

Reedern

Only you can decide how you truly feel about him and your commitment to him. I think you should really sit down and write out the pro's and con's and figure out for yourself what you want, especially before you actually do get married. Take the time to figure out what is really best for you and don't allow other people's opinions to influence you. Only YOU can make the decision.

sktllmdrhmz

Why is this all set in the next two years?

Grimmerick

I am 29 and he is 42, we have been together 4 years and decided we want to get the ball rolling.

7funnygirl7

Age shouldn't ever make a difference when being "in love", but it does/can make a difference with some people. My hubby is 10 yrs. older than me and it is now making a difference on the way we think and do things. I have grown in the last 11 yrs since we've been together and he has moreless "settled in". He is content with his lifestyle and I want/need to explore more for myself and my children. I love him with all my heart, but in a different way now. I think love does change over time and with circumstance for many people. The key to it is to stay with someone if you are fulfilled body, mind & soul (just my opinion). Every relationship is different and no one can tell you what is best for you or the both of you. There is no hand book that tells you everything you're gonna need to live life....you just have to experience it all first hand and hope the path you travel has the stepping stones you need to take you where you need to be!! Wishing you luck to find the answer to make you or the both of you happy forever...

Francesca3162

In my humble opioion, a partner should add to your WHOLE not make you WHOLE!!!
If you are looking to someone else for happiness, fulfillment etc you will never be happy.
If there is something that miffs you a little now about a person, it will be detrimental to relationship down the road...
Do not expect anyone to change for you or to COMPLETE YOU!!!

you have to be strong
P-A-R-T-N-E-R-S before you can even dream about being

P-A-R-E-N-T-S

7funnygirl7

In my humble opioion, a partner should add to your WHOLE not make you WHOLE!!!
If you are looking to someone else for happiness, fulfillment etc you will never be happy.
If there is something that miffs you a little now about a person, it will be detrimental to relationship down the road...
Do not expect anyone to change for you or to COMPLETE YOU!!!

you have to be strong
P-A-R-T-N-E-R-S before you can even dream about being

P-A-R-E-N-T-S

BRAVO!

netchik

Age or debt mean nothing. Does your heart skip a beat when you see him across a crowded room?

Can you imagine your life without him?

I've been with my husband for 17 years. He still makes me catch my breath.

For the debt - have you read Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover? Seriously, finances should never come into a decision about a lifelong committment. You should be marrying your best friend.

Get that stuff all sorted out before you think of kids

Hope it works out!

Grimmerick

In my humble opioion, a partner should add to your WHOLE not make you WHOLE!!!
If you are looking to someone else for happiness, fulfillment etc you will never be happy.
If there is something that miffs you a little now about a person, it will be detrimental to relationship down the road...
Do not expect anyone to change for you or to COMPLETE YOU!!!

you have to be strong
P-A-R-T-N-E-R-S before you can even dream about being

P-A-R-E-N-T-S

Very good advice but Actually that is part of the problem, I am whole I am fine by myself and have been since my early twenties, I know I make me happy, that was the first thing I learned living on my own. I don't need anyone to complete me at all and never felt lonely on my own, but that can be a problem because after a while of being in a relationship and of knowing I can be happy on my own I wonder if I can be happier on my own. Unfortunately the things I want for my future the deeper meaning and deeper happiness that I want only comes from more committed life experiences including having a family, a home and more security. as whole as I am I still need someone for that part, and I guess I am just not sure what that's like or what that should feel like after being together for a while.

Dayna154

In my humble opioion, a partner should add to your WHOLE not make you WHOLE!!!
If you are looking to someone else for happiness, fulfillment etc you will never be happy.
If there is something that miffs you a little now about a person, it will be detrimental to relationship down the road...
Do not expect anyone to change for you or to COMPLETE YOU!!!

you have to be strong
P-A-R-T-N-E-R-S before you can even dream about being

P-A-R-E-N-T-S

^^not sure I could say it better