Anyone else a Parental Caregiver?

candb

I have found myself in the 'sandwich' generation and it is making this journey a little more complex.

Some background....

Shortly after I delivered my second son (almost exactly one year ago) my mother-in-law suffered a massive stroke. She nearly died but thank God she has survived. She spent 11 months in the hospital and then nursing home before coming home the beginning of June. At that point, I moved in with my in-laws with my two small children. To facilitate this, I left my full-time job and my husband accepted a new (higher paying) position out of state. So basically now I am essentially a single parent (my husband only comes up on the weekends as his new job is 5 hours away) to my two toddlers and my two in-laws.

I don't belong to a gym since funds are fairly tight for us until we can get our home sold. But I have a large supply of workout DVD's. However, my in-laws sleep with their door open so I cannot workout early in the mornings before they wake up, nor can I work out late in the evenings after they go to sleep. My preferred time to work out is during my boys' naptime in the afternoon, however, oftentimes my MIL will be sitting in her recliner putting her feet up. But, I am trying my best to fit it in when I can.

Oh and don't even get me started on food. My MIL is diabetic and so she mostly tries to eat low sugar but I'm shocked at how all her friends and family members who have come over in the last month to welcome her home have brought sweets. I'm trying my best to prepare healthy meals for myself and them as well, but most of what I put on the table in front of them is met with really weird looks. They are definitely set in their ways.

Anyway, I was wondering if there was anyone else out there who was in a somewhat similar situation and hopefully you have some good strategies for coping.

cmeade20

Can you do online workouts in another room where you wont wake your inlaws?

steinbok

I'm not dealing with a parent, but a close friend who is just like family. It's a little unusual, but he who is bedridden, for the most part, is telling us to "get over it, it's a body. Bodies die. Spirit lives on." There are still instances where the human element shows, and you just have to let yourself go into that space, and let it all out. I've had to do that once or three times, in my time with him before he passes. He's one that still has a sharp mind, but the body is decaying.
I go through the emotions of him having a bad day (last few have not been good), and good days where I think he's going to beat this. One so close is in a state of emotional confusion. I will be handling the affairs, so I have to keep a cool head because it's going to happen sooner than later, and that cooler head will prevail, because he is depending on me to be that.

He encourages me to go out and get exercise and get out. It can be quite the pall to be with him all the time.

Discoveri

Sounds like you are in a stressful situation right now. As far as the unhealthy food goes, the well wishers who are glad your MIL is back home will eventually stop bringing over food once your MIL gets settled in. If need be, when you thank them, you could let them know that your MIL is set regarding food but that she always appreciates the company. Hopefully, they will get the hint and stop bringing over food. Good luck on selling your house.