Fun-house mirror *adults please!*

kmm7309
kmm7309 Posts: 802 Member
edited December 24 in Motivation and Support
So I have a question for you guys. Do any of you have MORE self-esteem issues since you've started losing weight?

I guess that when I started losing, I wasn't really aware of how large I was. So I've lost and lost and now it's harder than ever to look into a mirror. I feel like I'm either not getting anywhere or that I'm still just so fat (even though I lose about 1/2 an inch around my waist a week). I am disgusted with myself for letting it get this bad. I am sorry for my husband for having to ever see me naked. Pardon my wording, but I started crying while having sex the other night because the bed was squeaking and I saw my lumpy shadow cast against the wall and I just started to panic about breaking the bed. It was the closest I had come to a panic attack in months.

I really thought my esteem would improve, and I guess it's better than it is worse most days. But I spend so much time on the negative side of this spectrum. Anyone else having those issues?

Replies

  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i think its normal (at least for me anyway)
    i'm pissed i ever let myself get fat.. and i'm pissed i lost it once, and gained it all back.
    i avoid leaving my house so other people don't have to see me. when friends want to hang out, i come up with excuses. i just want to hide until i lose all my weight.
  • annabellj
    annabellj Posts: 1,337 Member
    it takes an amazingly long time for your brain to catch up with your body. ive been at this a while now and im still not happy with what i see in the mirror. take pictures. it helps. measure. dont be so hard on yourself. give it time! losing weight is a hard adjustment for sure. I have a lot of esteem issues, even though i posted a bikini pic, its far away and you cant see the flaws I see. I want to be able to look at my body and be happy some day. it will happen! It will happen for you too.
  • dewgirl321
    dewgirl321 Posts: 296 Member
    If you break your bed, it just means you're extra freaky-deaky! Nothing to feel bad about! :wink:

    When you feel bad about how you look or how far you have to go to meet your goals, just think about how far you've come already. You're doing awesome! Keep doing what you're doing, give yourself short-term goals and reward yourself as you achieve them. Don't focus on the ultimate goal, that will come later and will only seem daunting in the short-term.

    Believe in yourself and KNOW that you CAN do this! You're already doing it!

    Edit to add: Yes, there are low self-esteem times. I think as we make changes and improvements, our standards for ourselves change. Sometimes I'll be feeling really good about my arms, only to look down and be disappointed by my thighs. For a moment I'm frustrated and irritated and feel like I have so far to go. Luckily then I remember how far I've come, and it helps me realize I just need to keep going and eventually I'll like my thighs too. I'm sure everyone has moments like that. Just figure out a way to turn it into your motivation and don't let it derail you.
  • charmander89
    charmander89 Posts: 37 Member
    I definitely felt way more self conscious for the first little while. I had really let myself go, and facing that was really difficult. Eventually though that started to go away and my confidence is constantly building :)

    Have you been taking progress pictures? Its a lot easier to see the difference in photographs than in the mirror!
  • splucy
    splucy Posts: 353
    I think I understand what you mean.

    I started out at 71kgs and was upset with the way that I looked, but right now at 66kgs I am even more miserable.

    I got to 59.5kgs at one point. I have since then fallen off the wagon and have been trying to get back on to it for the last 2 months.

    I have been looking in the mirror getting very upset because I can see myself starting to fill out again. I take everything everyone says to heart. People say 'you look healthy now which is good' and I think to myself immediately 'they think I'm starting to look fat!!'

    I can definitely see a change in my arms. They used to look so slender :( and the gap inbetween my thighs is starting to disappear.
  • half_moon
    half_moon Posts: 807 Member
    Oh man, I SO get this. Before, I was disgusted to look in the mirror and never did-- therefore, I never noticed how big I got. Now that I am looking and noticing things, I blanch. How could I have let that happen? Is THIS me, minus 20 pounds!? What did I look like before? People say I'm losing so much weight-- seriously? I still have saddle bags and a tire and floppy arms and cellulite--- dear God, how I must have looked before! But then I look at my measurements and remember my new size jeans and just try to tell myself it's normal, and I've come a long way, and I need to just enjoy the process. It's hard!
  • PunkyRachel
    PunkyRachel Posts: 1,959 Member
    So I have a question for you guys. Do any of you have MORE self-esteem issues since you've started losing weight?

    I guess that when I started losing, I wasn't really aware of how large I was. So I've lost and lost and now it's harder than ever to look into a mirror. I feel like I'm either not getting anywhere or that I'm still just so fat (even though I lose about 1/2 an inch around my waist a week). I am disgusted with myself for letting it get this bad. I am sorry for my husband for having to ever see me naked. Pardon my wording, but I started crying while having sex the other night because the bed was squeaking and I saw my lumpy shadow cast against the wall and I just started to panic about breaking the bed. It was the closest I had come to a panic attack in months.

    I really thought my esteem would improve, and I guess it's better than it is worse most days. But I spend so much time on the negative side of this spectrum. Anyone else having those issues?

    True story, my husband and I broke our metal bed frame, then several months later broke our box spring, our bed is "supposed" to bed a 10 year bed, It's already shot to hell, we've only had it 6 years. It's just from getting down and dirty. Not being too fat.

    Don't feel embarrass about your man seeing ya nude! He fell in love with you, not your waist. He is there to support you, and hold you in those moments you just need to cry. I hope he does, because My hubby would at least. Your doing great! I too feel like I'm getting nowhere, but my hubby, my coworkers, my friends and family all tell me they can tell I'm losing weight and that just makes me wanna push myself harder. So chin up, you can do it!
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