do u have a good support system at home?

cryshelle247

i have no support system at home. after today seeing that i only consumed only 470 calories i was talking to my mom about everything and she was no help at all she just made the whole entire convo about her and her situation. i told my mom she lived her life skinny even after she had kids you have your husband and you had your friends. she doesnt understand this day and age and how looks and weight has a big thing to do with literally "fitting in".... after gaining all this weight i just completely got 86'd out of social life. all my friends are just gone as if im like some contagious wierdo. Guys dont even look my way anymore and if they do its like a negative look. i dont even like to even really go outside because i feel like im just a big unattractive joke. no1 in my house realizes or understands how i feel they think its e.z like "oh just get up and walk and go lose the weight" im to self conscious to even go outside hardly. Im the only girl and i have 4 brothers so they dont really help we barely even speak if i were to tell them all this they probally wouldnt evn know what to tell me they would probally tell me "well thats on you". not trying to be a baby but i just wish someone in my house would support me a little bit more with no household support i just want to give up and say forget it. (sighhhh) happy 4th of july tho

Luxxmundi

My brother was always my harshest critic, but it did help in some weird way, he'd always challenge me, and I did lose weight when I was living at home. As soon as I moved in with my fiance and had a baby I got too "comfortable" around him and gained weight like mad. He isn't the best support, as hes always eating snacks and leaving them near me, or offering to buy me chocolate, but hes just testing my will power. I hate going outside, so I use excercise DVD's at the moment, but I cant do them when either of them is awake, because either he will talk to me, or ill be stuck looking after the baby so he can check his emails. Its hard, but it really is on you. Support is nice, but it is ultimately up to you to make the healthier decisions.

cryshelle247

thanks it feels better not knowing im alone lol. my dad always use to just feed me all types of sweets from donuts candies breakfast sandwiches i had to one day just tell him look stop im dieting...my thing is i either under eat or over eat. and since i know that ive been overeating i completely been under eating..... but my ultimate goal is to just get up and go to the gym more and stop being so scared to step outside

jadedzen

I can really identify with your post. My fiance is not exactly supportive of me losing weight. he is an ex marine who believes the human body need 20,000 cal/day or it's starvation. he is still not convinced 1200 cal isn't starving myself to the extreme. we also used to be very active, walking everywhere, just spending a lot more time outside but the situation has been kinda bad for the last 3-4 years and now when i want to walk around somewhere i either go alone or take the dog. i still refuse to run or jog or exercise in public, i'm so self-conscious that it hurts. My solution has been to get a nintendo wii and do wii fit and zumba and a bunch of work out games on there. i also hit up the $5 bin at walmart for some yoga and exercise dvds. I do pretty much everything in my house because i'm so concerned with how other people are looking at me when i exercise, even though i'm the ONLY one who is probably noticing me being a spaz. Either way it prevents me from working out as hard as i could in my living room, shades drawn and i even make my fiance promise not to watch, or he has to join in! Sometimes i think it's about doing what you can within your comfort zone until you can expand your comfort zone a little.

cryshelle247

yes thats totally how i feel when u said it literally hurts. and what m mom doesnt also understand this losing weight is a life or death situation for me i cant afford to get any bigger and i know the little 5 or 10 or 15 minute workouts arent enough i know i need to get outside and run and walk and jog i know i need to walk up steps and get on the tredmil i know i need to but im just not ready yet i almost have anxiety every days trying to gather myself up to get outside and do some activity. i got out of a 1 year relationship with my girlfriend and the world seems so different. i had someone there with me all day everyday to talk and walk around and exercise with and now the past year i lived in my new home and after the breakup everything seems so different the enviorment i just feel alone never had to walk the streets or places alone ....but i gott to get over it if i want to lose this weight.

caraiselite

my mom is more critical than anything. i just ignore her for the most part.

TaylorsGranddad

I've had both ends of this, my wife poking fun at me for being obese, which sometimes really hurt, now she's extremely supportive and proud of what I've done, on the other hand people are now saying I've lost too much weight and need to stop. I'm still overweight, by quite a lot.

anthony438

I wish I did, but no.

My house is always stocked in the most amazing, (and worst for you,) junk food. I'm not buying it, but there it is. I've told my wife that I have no willpower, and I asked if we could just cut back on the stuff in the house. She said, "no, it's for me and the kids." Looks like I get to see just how long my willpower will hold out. :sad:

EstherZue

I think you should get out of that house in the afternoon maybe and not stay in this space of negativity around you. This anxiety to go outside can be a viscious circle and get worse the longer you stay inside and isolated. It can lead to severe depressions. Don't just think about your physical health, get mentally healthy too!

Maybe there is some group exercises you can join in your area? Or an affordable gym?

As for the being embarrased exercising outside in front of people - you should try to find a mechanism to deal with that. I just put my music and run and I tell myself I am teaching myself how to jog so I will look like something who is learning. I dont care if people laugh. Because they are teaching themselves nothing right now!

My aunt she went for nordic power walking in the park with walking sticks and people used to stare at her when walking by. After a while she got her confidence up and she would bark at them and scream YES I'M AN ALIEN I COME FROM MARS! and have a good laugh about it at home :laugh:

orangesmartie

I live on my own, so from that perspective its easy to keep the junk food out of the house, but on the other hand theres no one to talk to when the cravings take hold.

My mum and sister live close by and don't seem to understand that i'm trying to moderate what i eat and are always bringing round nice tempting treats, or offering them when i go to theirs. Unfortunately my biggest problem is my will power and sometimes i struggle to say no. I'd rather not be offered anything at all.

But I rely really heavily on this website and in particularly the people on my friends list for support. I often post things on my wall, simply to get them out of my head and sometimes someone's comment can really be the kick I need to do something (or not do something!!). I really appreciate the time and effort people make to comment on my wall, so i try and do the same for them. And its similar with the forums. I spend a lot of time reading things here. It might not be a good use of time, but while I'm reading or posting, I'm not stuffing my face.

And i like posting up my foods on the diary, knowing that people can see what I've eaten, it encourages me to think about my choices and not to go too far over the calorie allowance. Same with exercise, i feel bad if i see friends all posting great workouts and i've sat on my *kitten* all day.

One of the other benefits of this site is most people are similarly dedicated to making this change in their life, whereas my family aren't that bothered.