People who judge!! What would you have done??

akwagner25

So yesterday, I took my children to the beach for an afternoon and evening of fun. Before going, my friend and I, who was also bringing her kids, bought lots of snacks for our children including fruit, different types of crackers (animal, cheez itz, crackers w/cheese, peanut butter crackers) and also some fig newtons. We had an entire basket full and have a small cooler full. Snacking for 9 children. Well when I swim I also like one particular snack, Funyuns. I bought this snack for myself as I too love swimming and I get very hungry when I swim. So I let myself indulge on this snack. The kids know that this snack is mine to have as a mom should be able to have something that is just hers occassionally too, but of course my children always want what I have too. Which is fine, but if I say no, my kids don't care as they know they have everything else that I brought for them. Not to mention if you say yes to one, then all 9 want them too and pretty soon you no longer have a snack.

So here is where we get to what happened! My son asked me for a funyun, I told him no that he could grab one of the other snacks. He said fine and grabbed something else. The lady next to us, started b!tching and saying my kids were starving and here I am just eating away and won't give them a funyun. Keep in mind that I had a total of 5 kids up by me, all of which were actually eating something. 1 of the kids wasn't even a part of our group as I was feeding other kids at the beach as well if they were hanging with my kids. She started saying things like "give up the bag", "quit eating while you're kids are starving", "fat b!tch" etc. I didn't take it all lying down as a few choice words came out of my mouth about her drunken state, the paperbox she was carrying around that had alcohol oozing from it. But what I really wanted to do was give her a good smackdown, but being a mom, I had to show my kids that violence is never an answer, but sometimes that really sucks. I told them that you can use words to stick up for yourself. Which is what they did, but instead they were sticking up for me with a few things they said to her. But I had to show them that sometimes people are just ignorant and you can't change ingnorance in people.

The real issue she had was that I am overweight. You know what, I already know that. It wasn't her issue, so get the hell over it. The thing that ticks me off, is that she is so judgemental about overweight people that she thinks that is what we do. Sit around and eat all the time and apparently starve our children. She was up there all day, did she not see these kids coming up all day getting snacks?

I wasn't up there thinking about her all day surrounded in beer cans, in fact she wasn't even on my radar or did I even notice her until she started running her mouth. I don't go places to sit and look and judge people. I go to places to have a fun, nice day with my children. I don't understand why people act that way. Like me being overweight has anything to do with anyone else. Are people so unhappy with their own lives that they have to try to belittle others to make themselves feel better? I just don't get it.

What would you have done in the situation? I know I did the right thing for my children's sake. Sorry the post is so long, I just needed to vent about it.

Twiztedbeing

You handled yourself quite well, I am a guy so I would not have taken action, but I might have had my own choice words. I know there are a lot of people out there that want to believe every child is unhappy and blame the parents right away. That I think was one of my first thoughts. I cannot tell you how many times I see a kid cry and people commenting about how the parent must have done something wrong. These people are ignorant and most likely have no kids or spoil theirs too much. As for judging on weight, that could have been the main reason, or a connection to my above thoughts, but regardless, I would not really let a drunk person bother me too much, I tend not to get upset, like ever.

AnitaVolpato

You are such a lady! That is awesome. I don't have the self control that you have. I would have slapped the **** out of her!

Lauren8239

You don't want to know what I would have said.........but it would have been along the lines of f off you drunken **(&^^

Nutrition1st

You handled it very well.

wellbert

KHITB.

kariebo

I think you handled it very well... whats even better is that your kids stuck up for you... which should speak volumes as to how you are raising them! I agree, you should be able to have a little something for yourself without having little hands getting in there too. You made sure they were well provided for... obviously that lady had more of a problem with weight than whether or not kids were eating... but even then.. who's to say that kids didnt already eat and you are getting your food ? I usually always feed my kids first and by the time I sit down, they are done and looking like I never even gave them anything. It seems like she just wanted to have something to pick on someone about and you were the unfortunate target.. im sure anyone else who wouldve sat near her wouldve heard her say something about them too. Dont let it get you down, although I can understand your frustration. Kudos to you for keeping your head and being the better person.

supplemama

What would I have done? Ignored the drunk.

galaxiegal

Are people so unhappy with their own lives that they have to try to belittle others to make themselves feel better?

yes.

galaxiegal

KHITB.

kick her in the boob? :huh:

bathsheba_c

"Excuse me, do I know you?" Or maybe that only works with sober people . . .

MellyGibson

Sadly, this happens way too often in our society. People think they have a right to comment on other people's lives without having the slightest idea of what the entire situation may contain. That's all I'm going to say about that part - now let me move on to her drinking....

....One thing I've discovered/learned is that people who tend to habitually drink to excess are doing so as an escape mechanism. To ESCAPE from the REALITY of their lives. So, there she is drunk - with lowered inhibitions - and is saying what's on her mind. Yes, it's wrong, judgemental and cruel - but it's what she is really thinking at that time. I'm very sorry for you that her misery crashed into your good time.

Note: NOT ALL PEOPLE WHO ARE DRUNK ARE TRYING TO ESCAPE. They may just be out to have a good time! I've done it - but I would NEVER in a million years be that rude to someone. I despise rudeness.

Dave198lbs

its no excuse for her behavior, , but she was drunk. why give any thought or energy to what some drunk you never met before says? does it make sense? sorry it happened to you but she aint worth it so let it go as soon as possible,

myfitnessnmhoy

What would I have done? Ignored the drunk.

^^^ This.

OP did well, better than I might have done, but the better answer is not to teach your kids that responding to verbal asshattery at all is the wrong way to approach the problem. Ignore it, or at worst a quick "please mind your own business" followed by completely ignoring them is the most effective.

amandainez08

You handled yourself quite well, I am a guy so I would not have taken action, but I might have had my own choice words. I know there are a lot of people out there that want to believe every child is unhappy and blame the parents right away. That I think was one of my first thoughts. I cannot tell you how many times I see a kid cry and people commenting about how the parent must have done something wrong. These people are ignorant and most likely have no kids or spoil theirs too much. As for judging on weight, that could have been the main reason, or a connection to my above thoughts, but regardless, I would not really let a drunk person bother me too much, I tend not to get upset, like ever.

My thought would be that she had a bad childhood where that did happen to her, so now she relates her life to everyone else. Imo, I think she wasn't yelling at you so much as she was trying to let out her frustration on one of her own parent's. You just happened to be the person in the way that she could let it out on. I may be COMPLETELY wrong, but it's an idea. But I applaud you. You handled the situation well. You'll probably forget all about it tomorrow since you vented about it to us MFPers!

bcattoes

Honestly, it would depend my mood at the time. The reponses could have varied from my laughing and crunching Funyuns louding in her direction, to something highly sarcastic and mean, but more likely I would have said something like "Those little rugrats can get a job and buy their own Funyuns if they want some" because I would have found that funny.

adet983

i woulda tried to bum a beer and smoke from her

FuneralDiner

What would I have done? Ignored the drunk.

Ignoring only makes them think it's okay to hurl abuse at people.

What she really needed was a good beatdown and then maybe she'd think twice about being drunk and abusive towards strangers.

AABru

So I guess my bigger concern is that you were in a PUBLIC place, and she was drunk. the last time I checked the government funded parks and beaches are alcohol free. While I generally mind my own business, I may have gone out of my way in this case to call the police and report her.

senyosmom

You did the right thing - with your kids around you HAVE to lead by example.... even if all you really wanted to do was pop her in the mouth!

.... take all the anger and frustration and put it into a workout. Let her ignorance fuel your workout so you are bettering yourself from the situation.

hiker359

Ignore it or find another spot on the beach....wouldn't have made any difference to do anything else.

SaundraU

also would have ignored her and possibly moved to a different part of the beach. To me hurling insults back at her or using choice words in front of your children is only slightly better then going and punching her. Look at the state of affairs now adays where parents yell at coaches at schools, etc. This is not teaching our children to handle things correctly and you gave her the satisfaction of getting a rise out of you.

Beezil

I'd ask her why she decided getting drunk and disorderly around a bunch of kids was such a grand idea, and why she thought that qualified her to pass her oh-so-very wise judgement upon others. Then I'd tell her that the alcohol was obviously impairing her judgement, since it was very plain to see that all my kids were picking up food left and right from the cooler I brought with me. And if she continued to talk **** after that, I'd have invited her to take it up with my fist.

dyannajoy

"Are people so unhappy with their own lives that they have to try to belittle others to make themselves feel better?"

YES! You did the best you could at the time........it is truly HER problem not yours. Several years ago after quitting smoking, my daughter was chewing on a soda straw. Her husband told her it was worse for her to chew on straws, than to smoke!!! I was totally ready to fight when I heard that, but I asked her, so what did you do/say? And she said, "Nothing mom, one does not argue with stupidity" WOW blew me away and I try really really hard to remember that. (although for sure I do not always succeed :blushing: )

emmymae22

OMG. that is INSANE! People blow my mind! Of COURSE you should've said something back! Good for you! You don't owe her anything, and you don't owe your kids a Funyun either!! I'm so sorry that happened to you!

Runs4CupCakes

Honestly, it would depend my mood at the time. The reponses could have varied from my laughing and crunching Funyuns louding in her direction, to something highly sarcastic and mean, but more likely I would have said something like "Those little rugrats can get a job and buy their own Funyuns if they want some" because I would have found that funny.

i so would do this too or said "no its not there day to eat i feed them yesterday" and laughed, i prolly would have gathered my childern pointed to her and said see children this is an example of someone who is mean and rude and puts others down because she is afraid others will see her flaws, and countied on my wonderful day with my wonderful children...while she ponered on what just happend

patchesgizmo

You did really well. It would have destroyed my entire day. Is alcohol allowed on a public beach where you live? If not I would have been really nasty and reported her to officials and got her skanky butt off that beach. But I am vindictive and nasty.

yoovie

ugh I was so depressed the day I read the nutritional information/serving size on a package of fig newtons. Never ate one ever again.

cabaray

My head would tell me to do something similar, but my heart would have kicked sand in her face. Unfortunately, I tend to follow my heart!

bcattoes

So I guess my bigger concern is that you were in a PUBLIC place, and she was drunk. the last time I checked the government funded parks and beaches are alcohol free. While I generally mind my own business, I may have gone out of my way in this case to call the police and report her.

I don't think I've ever to been to a beach that didn't allow alcohol. Some have bars on the beach.

overfences

What would I have done? Ignored the drunk.

Ignoring only makes them think it's okay to hurl abuse at people.

What she really needed was a good beatdown and then maybe she'd think twice about being drunk and abusive towards strangers.

A good beat down? Seriously? Is this Jerry Springer?

You can't reason with drunk people. Ignoring is best. I would not lower myself to the level of an angry drunk by participating. I would ignore and then explain to my kids, privately, why her behavior is inappropriate and why we should not take it to heart.

Additionally, I would NEVER encourage my children to talk back to a drunk adult. Not their fight, not their responsibility. Children should not be pulled into adult issues.