Friends or no Friends?

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2

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  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
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    I love my MFP friends, but I wouldn't want co-workers on here. I know of one girl who is on here, but I don't think she knows I am. This is my safe place, if co-workers are here, then it is no longer.
  • susjan
    susjan Posts: 105
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    Ok... So I recently told a co-worker about MFP and all the support I get from the site. She is over our departments focus to stay healthy. She then gathered some information and emailed the entire department this information. Which don't get me wrong would be wonderful, however, the problem now is everyone is walking around asking for each others user information as if this was just another form of communication. I have read past forums of people who tried to lose weight with friends and they say its a horrible thing to do because its so easy for them to mess up or not take it serious, then try to pull you down with them. I am refusing to give anyone my information. Is that wrong of me?

    No, it's entirely within your decision if you want them as your 'friends' on here. I don't buy into that hype... just like I didn't buy into the hype of being facebook friends with people that you work with. I declined a half a dozen people in my department because I didn't feel compelled to include them in my daily rants. Do what makes you feel best!!
  • paulsmisses
    paulsmisses Posts: 178
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    Ok... So I recently told a co-worker about MFP and all the support I get from the site. She is over our departments focus to stay healthy. She then gathered some information and emailed the entire department this information. Which don't get me wrong would be wonderful, however, the problem now is everyone is walking around asking for each others user information as if this was just another form of communication. I have read past forums of people who tried to lose weight with friends and they say its a horrible thing to do because its so easy for them to mess up or not take it serious, then try to pull you down with them. I am refusing to give anyone my information. Is that wrong of me?

    I deleted my two friends because i didnt want them to read my posts to my 'anonymous' friends, i think dieting is private so speaking to people you dont know helps keep it that way!
  • deniselynn13
    deniselynn13 Posts: 126 Member
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    I have made new MFP friends on here, but DO NOT want co-workers or family on MFP as friends... It is just what works for me! I am doing this for myself and by myself with support from the friends I have gained here that can relate to my struggle....

    Exactly!!!! Those that i have friended on here have similar struggles and can relate. We can motivate and push each other. My family does not support my weight loss. My husband does. Those that i work with who notice, i count as NSV's. They ask what i am doing and what the magic pill is and i smile and politely tell them good old fashioned hard work and clean eating.

    At the end of the day, this is a lifestyle change that i want to make, am committed to making and am the only one who can make these changes for myself. While the support is great, it is all in my hands.

    Good luck and stick to your guns with keeping them off your friends list....
  • HappyTru
    HappyTru Posts: 2 Member
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    This is my second time on mfp, and I have decided to not have friends outside of maybe 3 people that I know (if they decide to join and friend me). Like others, I am the one who is going to get me to the gym, eat right, etc. I am in this alone, because it is my choice, my behaviors that will get me the results, not having someone say "where are you? why haven't you logged in for two days!" Also I really don't like the feed. I do not need to know how many calories such n such burned and if they are over their limit. That is why I too like the discussion boards better.
  • ncahill77
    ncahill77 Posts: 501 Member
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    If it becomes an "issue" with your coworkers just create a second account and give them that information and don't use it. I don't like having people I know in real live on here, this is my safe place to b@tch and moan.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Nope, not going there. I am friends with people I am actually friends with -- coworkers are not friends. Your coworker has good intentions, but I can't help but wonder if she tramping on shaky HR ground. I would quietly say no thanks to giving your info and if the issue is pressed, politely say you want to keep your work/online life are separate. If it is still pushed, HR.
  • michellelhartwig
    michellelhartwig Posts: 498 Member
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    I have friended both family and friends. All the family/friends that I friended have logged in once or twice, then quit, or are on again/off again people...so I deleted them. I have one family member that kicks butt and has lost a significant amount of weight using MFP, but we are very close and being friends here doesn't make things weird.
  • mamabear0222
    mamabear0222 Posts: 455 Member
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    I'm in the no friends camp.
    My MFP friends are all that I need .... I find people in direct circles are too crictical of each other and that's not helpful at all.
  • SithChicky
    SithChicky Posts: 74
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    Ok... So I recently told a co-worker about MFP and all the support I get from the site. She is over our departments focus to stay healthy. She then gathered some information and emailed the entire department this information. Which don't get me wrong would be wonderful, however, the problem now is everyone is walking around asking for each others user information as if this was just another form of communication. I have read past forums of people who tried to lose weight with friends and they say its a horrible thing to do because its so easy for them to mess up or not take it serious, then try to pull you down with them. I am refusing to give anyone my information. Is that wrong of me?

    it should be up to you whether or not you give out any information. I don't think it's wrong.
  • 13pointUNO
    13pointUNO Posts: 51
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    Nope. I have no friends on here yet. I just log my daily stuff and try to stay focused. For me, I am not against friends but I want to do this myself. So do not feel bad for doing what you have to do. Also, I am always reading community posts, that helps me see I am not alone with various topics. Good luck.

    same here. i don't need a wolfpack
  • wantstolooseweight
    wantstolooseweight Posts: 166 Member
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    Nope its completely your decision and personally I would tell the odd friend if they were serious about it but if the whole of my work wanted to join then its a definite no from me.... firstly if I want that bar of chocolate then I'll be having that bar of chocolate (Yes I'll be logging it) but there is no way in hell I want them critisising me in the middle of work over it....... Secondly as you say they probably wont be using it at the end of 2 weeks. Just tell them... "Well there is no point really, I keep all my diary/info private because I'm doing this for ME and ME alone" Just be nice to them but stick to your guns, you know how you feel and what you want don't feel bad about it!
  • ClareWantsProgress
    ClareWantsProgress Posts: 173 Member
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    I deleted my old account and started over when I found out some of my real life "friends" were sniping about me behind my back on other forums. Started over and doing it on my own.

    It's totally your choice. I treat it like facebook - I use a pseudonym and do not have any family or co-workers as friends. Not even any friends from the town where I live, just a few I've met from out of state that share similar interests.

    I've found it easier and much less complicating.
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I would rather have only online friends here than IRL friends bc for whatever reason (maybe I don't feel judged by you guys), I dunno, it works for me. Do what your gut tells you to do
  • Anna800
    Anna800 Posts: 637 Member
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    I have strangers as mfp friends, while I may tell people in real life about this site, I do not need people I know reading my food diary and my weight related status updates.
  • JenAiMarres
    JenAiMarres Posts: 767 Member
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    i hog all my fitness info from my real life friends. no one really wants it anyways! when they find out I consume things like spinach daily and actually work out...it kind of freaks them out.
  • KaidaKantri
    KaidaKantri Posts: 401
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    No, it's your choice to do so. It sounds like it would be awkward around the office anyway if everyone knew that everyone was trying to lose weight/be healthy. I think that if you WANT to communicate with them outside of work, give them your fb information or an email address. If they ask why not then just give them a simple information that it's your business and you don't want to share your personal information like that.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
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    Well, to be honestly, nearly every single friend I have gotten to join MFP has never stuck with it. But if you already have some sort of accountability group at work these people probably will stick with it. It is ultimately your choice if you decide to add all of them or not, but if you don't they're going to probably be pissed because they'll probably all add each other.
  • sewerchick93
    sewerchick93 Posts: 1,440 Member
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    I wouldn't friend any real life friends or family members. They judge enough without knowing every detail of my food choices and exercise habits....why give them fuel for the fire?
  • HeatherClement
    HeatherClement Posts: 19 Member
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    I made the mistake of sharing my weight loss goals on facebook... now I get all kinds of "advice" from everyone and their brother... ranging from condescending (which really ticked me off) to pitches for their supplements. Agh.

    That said, I do have friends here on MFP - including two my bff's from across the country who are also trying to lose, and my husband and daughter. They don't bother me a bit. :)

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