Defeated
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You didn't say how old the baby is but it sounds like you could be suffering from post partum depression. Real depression is not a will power issue; its a brain chemistry issue. Google depression symptoms; if the list fits you, See your doc. Don't make your baby, husband, loved ones, or friends watch you nosedive.0
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Do you want motivation?
If so here's the truth. Your will is weak. You need to establish discipline. Adhere to principal, it builds moral character and self reliance.
Do more, eat less, quit complaining.
You'll survive 7 days without water and 28 without food...I think you can suck it up and quit cryin.
This attitude for me would be setting myself up to fail. And equates you success in this one area to your value as a person. Irregardless of how kick-*kitten* you are in the rest of your life.
We each have to find the right headspace that works for us....
Here's the thinking that got helped me on my way:
The good news is you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be better.
1) tracking for a couple of weeks before I worried about losing.
(although seeing what I was eating I couldn't help but rein back a bit)
2) seeing where I could make small changes on things that weren't that important to me.
(Don't even think of taking chocolate out of my diet!!!)
--Reducing quantities where I won't notice it so much
--Swapping out things instead of eliminating them.
3) Look at my diary and started adding foods that had positive healthy effects specifically for the health issue in my family.
I found most of the things I "should" add were really yummy too! salmon, avocado, oatmeal, mango, red grapes....
(Sort of think of food as medicine to deal with family history of various health issue oatmeal is good for heart health, mango and red grapes lower cholesterol, tumeric and cinnamon good for arthritis)
4) every couple of weeks I see where I can make another couple of small changes.
If you completely revamp your diet, it's way easy to revert to old ways in times of stress. (and who doesn't have stress?)
If you make a series of small changes, food still offers you some sense of comfort.
sort of a comfort continuum, and after a while the first small changes will seem comforting in themselves.
You don't have to be perfect you just have to do better.
5) also rather than being uberstrict with the target MFP set for me. (I swear this saved my life.) I was happier once I gave myself a range:
ROCK BOTTOM: 1200 cal
TARGET: MFP Calories for lose 1 lb a week (when that hit 1200 I changed to lose 1/2 lb per week)
TOP OF RANGE: Maintain Calories for my GOAL Weight.
(SAFETY VALVE: Maintain Calories for CURRENT Weight - remember to keep updating this number as you lose)
I naturally tended to do 2-4 days between 1200-1300 cal then a day at about 1500-1600 cal then back to the 1200-1300 cal. (No hard science here, but I credit the zig-zagging calories with preventing plateaus.)
--As long as I stayed under the top of my range I should continue to lose, even if it is at a slower rate.
--As long as I don't go past my safety valve I shouldn't gain.
6) I only worry about it 1 lb at a time.
Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as achievable. )
Food is not the enemy.
Oddly enough on my journey here I've reduced guilt over food.
I have the occasional treat and I fully enjoy it with no guilt involved.
The thing is since I'm not eating crap all the time, now the occasional treat is just that a TREAT it's special and I enjoy it so much more than when I was unconsciously shovel junk food into my face.
I figure if I've got a good plan that I can actually maintain I can keep this off for a long time to come, without feeling deprived.
Good Luck0 -
A quote from my friend Adam Hammett:
When you want something so bad that your current situation is unbearable and u are willing to do what ever it takes to get out of it and to a better place....then are already in that better place!!! Your mind has to see you there n not look back at the current crap hole your stuck in! From this day on....the tasks that seemed to immense are just stepping stones the the better place you long for
Unlike · · Share · June 30 at 10:21pm near Corinth ·0 -
You didn't say how old the baby is but it sounds like you could be suffering from post partum depression. Real depression is not a will power issue; its a brain chemistry issue. Google depression symptoms; if the list fits you, See your doc. Don't make your baby, husband, loved ones, or friends watch you nosedive.
My son is 18months old and before the tantrums starteed I found a joy and lost the most weight I have in my life in that first year. It's only the tantrums that were driving me to eat.0 -
I'm going to send you a message.0
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I can't think of anything to add that the above posters haven't said, but I will say this. I, too, gained after having babies. Tell your husband he is a grown man and he can dress himself. You have to put yourself first sometimes and your health and self-esteem are both VERY important. You do have support here ~ utilize it! I'm here for you and I'm sure I speak for many others!0
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are there emotional or psychological reasons why you overeat?
if there are, then i have learned you will first need to address those before you can make any lasting changes0 -
I know it's hard to carve out time for yourself when you have a busy family. Sometimes I have to remember that I'm a better Mom when I'm happy and healthy. Taking that time for myself is best for my kids in the long run, too!0
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Do you want motivation?
If so here's the truth. Your will is weak. You need to establish discipline. Adhere to principal, it builds moral character and self reliance.
Do more, eat less, quit complaining.
You'll survive 7 days without water and 28 without food...I think you can suck it up and quit cryin.
As blunt as this is, I agree. I could have gave in several times in the past 3 months, but I haven't. My willpower is amazing. I want to get this get crap off of me. I am always around people saying "well, it's just a candy bar/pizza/coke,insert whatever, it won't kill you" No *kitten* it won't kill me, but right now I want to get healthy so eating that damn candy bar isn't going to help me. If I wanted it, I'd eat it. I don't want it. I don't deprive myself either. If I want chocolate, I'll eat my dang chocolate. You just gotta get in the right mindset. You have to be determined.
I don't agree - no offense, but responses like this are crap. It's not a question of will power, it's a question of psychological triggers and triggers to stress. It's a reflex, like when someone hits that spot on your knee. There are ways to monitor and replace the trigger responses with healthy ones. You might want to talk to a counselor, but there are also books out there you can get that will help. You need to change the reflex, not increase your will power - especially if it's a quantity thing, and not that you're eating really bad food.
Find another reflex, like going for a walk, etc. It won't happen overnight, but you can get there. And don't beat yourself up about it - that just creates another downward spiral.0 -
I can't think of anything to add that the above posters haven't said, but I will say this. I, too, gained after having babies. Tell your husband he is a grown man and he can dress himself. You have to put yourself first sometimes and your health and self-esteem are both VERY important. You do have support here ~ utilize it! I'm here for you and I'm sure I speak for many others!
Oh yeah, and seriously, tell your husband to dress himself. I mean wtf...0 -
AMEN!0
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How about starting with eating just half of what you eat... If you eat everything like you say, just eat half of it... Sometimes stress can make you eat a lot but if you at least try to control your portions maybe you will start to lose pounds again... I hope the best for you...0
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I'm so sorry to hear this; you seem to have really gotten into a downward depression. Eating may seem to be "all you care about", but it's actually your worst enemy right now. Have you thought of seeing your doctor for depression? At least he/she may be able to give you some ideas of how you're viewing things right now, even if they don't consider medication. This has *nothing* to do with willpower, determination, etc. and don't let anyone tell you it does. If it's true, brain-chemical depression, NO willpower in any human can fight that. Please talk to someone professional (doctor, nurse, pastor, counselor) just to get suggestions for help. This doesn't even sound like a diet issue. You mentioned a baby; perhaps post-partum depression? Good luck.0
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Do you want motivation?
If so here's the truth. Your will is weak. You need to establish discipline. Adhere to principal, it builds moral character and self reliance.
Do more, eat less, quit complaining.
You'll survive 7 days without water and 28 without food...I think you can suck it up and quit cryin.
This attitude for me would be setting myself up to fail. And equates you success in this one area to your value as a person. Irregardless of how kick-*kitten* you are in the rest of your life.
We each have to find the right headspace that works for us....
Here's the thinking that got helped me on my way:
The good news is you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be better.
1) tracking for a couple of weeks before I worried about losing.
(although seeing what I was eating I couldn't help but rein back a bit)
2) seeing where I could make small changes on things that weren't that important to me.
(Don't even think of taking chocolate out of my diet!!!)
--Reducing quantities where I won't notice it so much
--Swapping out things instead of eliminating them.
3) Look at my diary and started adding foods that had positive healthy effects specifically for the health issue in my family.
I found most of the things I "should" add were really yummy too! salmon, avocado, oatmeal, mango, red grapes....
(Sort of think of food as medicine to deal with family history of various health issue oatmeal is good for heart health, mango and red grapes lower cholesterol, tumeric and cinnamon good for arthritis)
4) every couple of weeks I see where I can make another couple of small changes.
If you completely revamp your diet, it's way easy to revert to old ways in times of stress. (and who doesn't have stress?)
If you make a series of small changes, food still offers you some sense of comfort.
sort of a comfort continuum, and after a while the first small changes will seem comforting in themselves.
You don't have to be perfect you just have to do better.
5) also rather than being uberstrict with the target MFP set for me. (I swear this saved my life.) I was happier once I gave myself a range:
ROCK BOTTOM: 1200 cal
TARGET: MFP Calories for lose 1 lb a week (when that hit 1200 I changed to lose 1/2 lb per week)
TOP OF RANGE: Maintain Calories for my GOAL Weight.
(SAFETY VALVE: Maintain Calories for CURRENT Weight - remember to keep updating this number as you lose)
I naturally tended to do 2-4 days between 1200-1300 cal then a day at about 1500-1600 cal then back to the 1200-1300 cal. (No hard science here, but I credit the zig-zagging calories with preventing plateaus.)
--As long as I stayed under the top of my range I should continue to lose, even if it is at a slower rate.
--As long as I don't go past my safety valve I shouldn't gain.
6) I only worry about it 1 lb at a time.
Once I found ways to lessen the stress, I found it way easier to focus on the process and let the results follow. (It's what worked for me some people need the stress to get them motivated. Me I get scared and overwhelmed and don't see the big goal as achievable. )
Food is not the enemy.
Oddly enough on my journey here I've reduced guilt over food.
I have the occasional treat and I fully enjoy it with no guilt involved.
The thing is since I'm not eating crap all the time, now the occasional treat is just that a TREAT it's special and I enjoy it so much more than when I was unconsciously shovel junk food into my face.
I figure if I've got a good plan that I can actually maintain I can keep this off for a long time to come, without feeling deprived.
Good Luck
I agree with every darn word you said. My entire life I've been told that I'm weak, that I have no discipline, to SUCK IT UP, blah blah blah. I'd feel worse and worse and worse. This tactic doesn't work for everyone.
I've made many of the same changes. I'm so glad there are like-minded people here.0 -
Do you want motivation?
If so here's the truth. Your will is weak. You need to establish discipline. Adhere to principal, it builds moral character and self reliance.
Do more, eat less, quit complaining.
You'll survive 7 days without water and 28 without food...I think you can suck it up and quit cryin.
As masochistic as it sounds, this is exactly the kind of motivation I NEED!! Especiall for working out!!! I hate when a fitness instructer at my gym says "Just do what you can". Bullsh*t, I want someone yelling in my ear to do more, go harder, longer, and don;t stop till there are tears streaming down my face! That's just me though. lol
Get a Drill Seargant guarantee he or she (I had a female Drill Seargeant and She was the worst) they will make you cry more ways than one. Sometimes on my runs and when I am getting tired, I envison my Drill Seargent running next to me MOTIVATING me to do more to do better. They are excellent motivators. Sorry a little off topic0 -
I agree everyone is different, but sometimes people like to hear the blunt answer. Sometimes they don't. I for one though have a hard time hearing that people don't have time or life is too hard or whatever other excuse. There is a quote "if it's important to you, you'll find a way, if not, you'll find an excuse" and that is true for all of us. I am a SINGLE mom who works 40 hours, takes care of a 2 year old in his terrible two phase, have 2 dogs, a home to take care of, mow grass, etc, all by myself. I have found time to lose 40 pounds in the midst of that. Because it was very important to me to be healthy. But that's just my experience. I wish you luck in your weight loss journey, and remember it can be done, if you take the steps to do it. One day at a time.0
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Do you want motivation?
If so here's the truth. Your will is weak. You need to establish discipline. Adhere to principal, it builds moral character and self reliance.
Do more, eat less, quit complaining.
You'll survive 7 days without water and 28 without food...I think you can suck it up and quit cryin.
As masochistic as it sounds, this is exactly the kind of motivation I NEED!! Especiall for working out!!! I hate when a fitness instructer at my gym says "Just do what you can". Bullsh*t, I want someone yelling in my ear to do more, go harder, longer, and don;t stop till there are tears streaming down my face! That's just me though. lol
Get a Drill Seargant guarantee he or she (I had a female Drill Seargeant and She was the worst) they will make you cry more ways than one. Sometimes on my runs and when I am getting tired, I envison my Drill Seargent running next to me MOTIVATING me to do more to do better. They are excellent motivators. Sorry a little off topic
I would argue that being in the military creates a unique environment that gives real control to the person in charge - ie, the drill instructor. So yes, in that situation, we'd all get in much better shape much faster. But outside of a environment like that (and also for those of us over 18 years old that aren't nearly as on-board with the 'do it because I said it or I'll f*ing kill you' approach), I'm not sure it would be as successful. If you truly just need someone to yell at you, yell at yourself - we're way more responsive to our own repetetive messaging than we are getting it from others. Think about it, you live in your own head all the time. How much time do you spend with your trainer/drill instructor?
I think this is a false method, and I'd be really surprised if there's anyone out there who made significant progress by working with someone who yelled at them consistently over a period of time. Just seems destructive and negative.
http://melindahutchings.blogspot.com/2010/03/value-of-positive-self-talk.html
http://www.drjerm.com/Positive-Self-Talk/Positive-Self-Talk.php
http://powerfulpositivethinking.com/539/improve-your-life-with-positive-self-talk/
These are just a few links I found in about 10 seconds, but there's more. And yes, this stuff really works.0 -
I know exactly how you feel! I see myself getting bigger and more unhappy every day! I finally realized it's because I was turning to food for comfort, but I couldn't figure out how to stop it! I just kept gaining and gaining and have topped the scale at 305. Seeing that number turned a light on for me. I don't ever want to see that again! I have someone at home that likes to please me even if it means bringing me candy and ice cream, so I am having to re-train him that I no longer want those things! What I want is to like myself again, and I have to tell you I joined this site yesterday, and I've never felt more motivated than I am now! The encouragement you get on here is amazing! The more encouragement I get, the more I WANT to get off my butt and exercise, the easier it is for me to eat better! Sometimes, the smallest thing even from a stranger online, can cause the biggest ripple to start. I hope you find your ripple that will start you on a road to success! Please feel free to add me, I'm always here to offer words of encouragement when they are needed! Good luck to you! Being on this site says you want better, and I believe you will get better!0
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There is blunt and there is douchey. It's a fine line.0
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Your stressed & overwhelmed w/all that's going on in your life right now, that's why you are eating out of stress & for comfort. Now you need to stop it. Eat only healthy foods & do not buy junk or sugar or chips. Your baby doesn't need to eat junk either or your husband. Talk to your husband & ask him for support when he is home. Drink your 8 glasses of water every day & that will help fill you up. I'm here to encourage you. I know how stressful it is to stay at home & care for your family, now it's time for you to care about yourself. You can do this.0
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