Got a funny look from hubby today at the grocery store

SuperSexyDork

yeah I hear that. I have two little kids, so they're all about the mac and cheese and pbj, and stuff like that, my older who's 3, keeps asking why I don't have sandwiches anymore lol, and why I have salad now cuz it's 'ucky' But can't really explain to her the whole 'fat' thing and whatnot,t she doesn't see that yet. if only all people were as innocent as children.. I'm not a candy person either though, or sweets for that matter.

My 3 and 5 year old help me make food choices and they love it. However, I normally only give them 2 choices for each food group and they're normally healthy things. If they could eat exactly what they wanted all the time it would be cereal and pancakes all of the time.

TArnold2012

My ex always seem to search and destroy my diet attempts. My current husband has been supportive both before and now that I am dieting. As for the rest of the surrounding world I have been slow to let them in on that knowledge, but for different reasons. I have battled this journey for 30 plus years and have always failed in the past. I want to have people be able to tell I am losing this time and hear their observations.

RuthieCass

I would be able to ignore my mom, but the husband... That's not good. Something is wrong when you have an SO who cannot be supportive of you trying to improve your health. I'd have a serious talk with him, tell him I'm on this diet, and ask him to adjust his attitude. If he can't improve at least his attitude (at most his diet), well, that's a red flag. And yes, many people handle change poorly. But I don't see how you can be fully successful when your husband is not only unsupportive, but tries to ruin your diet.

he's supportive of it, I get really nasty when I talk about how gross I am and bla bla bla. He just gets sick of hearing me be nasty to myself. He has been on his diet, I thought I mentioned that. He tries to ruin my diet by always wanting to order take out, or go out to eat and let's get this or that. He doesn't do it intentionally.

While I understand him not wanting to hear you put yourself down, you not wanting to tell him about your diet is definitely related to him trying to "ruin" your diet. I still say you should have a serious conversation with him about it. Perhaps you could work on being less negative towards yourself (which will also help you long-term) and he can work on being more supportive. Trust me (and others who've had similar experiences) when I say that it is going to be very hard on your diet or your relationship if he does not get on board.

Carloan

I've been lucky to live in a household where raw veggies are expected to be on the table, like it or not. The kid in the house hold frequently asks for dessert after dinner, the first thing her mom asks is if she has had any fresh fruits or veggies in the last few hours. Those don't have to be during meals, keeping them out as a snack food helps increase the intake of these fresh foods instead of packaged foods.
I would be most worried about not telling your husband about your diet. You need to be eating good foods and he can either be a great support or a great temptation. I would sit with him and let him know why you are dieting. If you have a tendency to be hard on yourself, don't be. Simply let him know that your body feels stronger and you can function better when your body has the correct nutrients.
One more piece of wisdom from my very strange household:

Experiment with your food and don't follow the recipe exactly, then you never have the same food twice. Eventually you will learn the combinations of foods and spices that best suit your family. Homemade can be much tastier than take if you get creative. This doesn't mean spending hours in the kitchen. Some of my favorite recipes take less than half an hour to make!

Fredrigo

I totally understand the not wanting to tell the spouse thing. My wife wants me to be healthy but she feels like my attmpets to eat healthier or exercise more or criticisms of how she eats and exercises. She assumes I'm judging her for having a burger when I have a salad or I'm calling her lazy if I get my 30 minute walk done before she goes and runs 10 miles. She's even bothered by me eating off smaller plates even though I will clean my plate in under 15 minutes while she takes over an hour to eat the same food on a larger plate. If she notices me measuring my food portions more closely she starts asking why I'm fixing less food (even though I'm not I'm just counting the calories more closely).

It can be frustrating.

SithChicky

yeah I hear that. I have two little kids, so they're all about the mac and cheese and pbj, and stuff like that, my older who's 3, keeps asking why I don't have sandwiches anymore lol, and why I have salad now cuz it's 'ucky' But can't really explain to her the whole 'fat' thing and whatnot,t she doesn't see that yet. if only all people were as innocent as children.. I'm not a candy person either though, or sweets for that matter.

When my kids were little like that and I started changing my diet to more healthy types of foods, I included the kids in it. I didn't make separate meals for them, rather they ate what I ate. (As did my ex-husband, much to his chagrin.) The only differences I would make was to make them a sandwich with two pieces of whole wheat while mine only had one. Stuff like that. But I cut out the boxed foods all together for everyone, served salad at every meal (and having them help make it will make them want to eat it more), and refused to have juice boxes and the like in the house.

I wanted my kids to grow up with healthy eating habits, something I had to learn as an adult. Now, as teenagers, they're all a healthy weight, prefer whole foods over processed, and love fruits and veggies. Now is the time to teach the kiddos what you're having to learn the hard way. More work for Mom, I know (believe me, I know - four kids in five years), but worth it completely.

mine are 2 and 3, if you think they're eating salad, you're nuts lol they're too little, and they are healthy. they're actually on the smaller percentile for their weights. I'm not going to tell them no when it comes to food they eat. Kids are picky, I'd rather have them eat what they like. I'm having a hard time because of my own choices and my hypothyroid. I ate mac and cheese and pbj and as a child and I was fine. I still am healthy. I may be overweight, but I'm not unhealthy in any form.

SithChicky

I used to always try to diet in secret. I used to always fail too. Wasn't until I fully became committed and came out of the dieting closet that I was successful. To me, to diet was to admit something was wrong with me and I didn't want to do that. Now I understand that it's okay to admit things like this.

I failed before because I got less motivated because of how long it takes to lose a pound. Where a 'normal' person might lose a lb maybe 2 a week, I lose 1 lb a month. It's very easy to get discouraged when this happens. Everyone is different, for some people, it will work when you're going alone irl.

vryanz

Only my husband knows. Other people are always like 'why are you doing that? You're so small. Oh one piece won't hurt you...' I am 5'4" and 143lbs so I don't look big, but they are not the ones staring at my cellulite every morning, LOL! My husband is very supportive too, he says I look nice, but knows this is important to me. He will even buy me stuff to make salad or healthy foods. And if I do splurge, he doesn't say anything (Our weakness is Duffs chocolate cake icecream!! 100 cals is ONLY 1/4 cup!! :-O )
But I also don't bombard him with 'how do I look, I'm so fat, I look horrible, I need to lose, etc, ect.'

Merithyn

mine are 2 and 3, if you think they're eating salad, you're nuts lol they're too little, and they are healthy. they're actually on the smaller percentile for their weights. I'm not going to tell them no when it comes to food they eat. Kids are picky, I'd rather have them eat what they like. I'm having a hard time because of my own choices and my hypothyroid. I ate mac and cheese and pbj and as a child and I was fine. I still am healthy. I may be overweight, but I'm not unhealthy in any form.

I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong or in anyway trying to imply that your kids will be hurt by eating mac and cheese. They won't. I was raised on it and didn't have a weight problem until my fourth kid was born and I got sick.

I'm only telling you what worked for me and my kids. And yes, my 2 and 3 year olds ate salads, loved fresh veggies, and never missed the other stuff. They also were never picky, because they were never taught to be. If it went on their plate, they had to try it. We pulled a lot of reverse psychology on them to get them to put it on their plate ("Sorry, honey. That's grown up stuff. I don't think you'd like it. Well, I guess, if you're sure you want to try it, but really, only grown ups like it.") but once there, it had to be at least tasted. They were munching on sushi, tzatziki, dolmathes, curry, and a variety of other foods before they went to kindergarten, and they loved it. I also did a lot of renaming to get them to eat things they wouldn't otherwise eat, like Pirate's Eyes (piece of bread with a circle cut out and an egg cracked into the circle), Monkey Toes (dolmathes), and American Mix (goulash). (Weird how just renaming things somehow makes them edible.)

I believe that healthy habits start young, so I taught my kids how to eat healthy foods in appropriate quantities. Sure, we occasionally had pancakes for dinner and ice cream for breakfast, but those were treat days and rare, and the kids understood why. I never counted their calories, but I did teach them serving sizes ("Want a second helping? Okay, sounds good.") and how to snack healthy.

And guess what happened? It made it a million times easier for me to eat healthy. No having to make two meals. No having to answer awkward questions about why I had to eat something different from them. No having unhealthy foods around to tempt me. It was win-win for everyone.

FuneralDiner

Maybe he thought you wanted that cucumber for other reasons.

I'm sorry. Had to be said.

lwagnitz

I think it depends on how your "support" system is.. or your family and friends how you think they will be. Some will be very supportive and others will want to sabotage it. It seems as though you've already had bad experiences with being open about dieting. I would suggest not really bringing it up, but if someone notices I wouldn't explain it as a diet, but a lifestyle change to be healthier. That way they won't be so concerned and tell you "oh you can just have one" when they push something unhealthy in your face. You're excuse isn't "No, I want to lose weight" it is "No, I choose to eat healthy"

bcattoes

I didn't really "diet". I lost weight through exercise so it would be pretty hard to hide that from my husband. He definitely notices when I do a Zumba DVD, go out for a run or do strength training while we watch TV.

mamabear0222

mine are 2 and 3, if you think they're eating salad, you're nuts lol they're too little, and they are healthy. they're actually on the smaller percentile for their weights. I'm not going to tell them no when it comes to food they eat. Kids are picky, I'd rather have them eat what they like. I'm having a hard time because of my own choices and my hypothyroid. I ate mac and cheese and pbj and as a child and I was fine. I still am healthy. I may be overweight, but I'm not unhealthy in any form.

I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong or in anyway trying to imply that your kids will be hurt by eating mac and cheese. They won't. I was raised on it and didn't have a weight problem until my fourth kid was born and I got sick.

I'm only telling you what worked for me and my kids. And yes, my 2 and 3 year olds ate salads, loved fresh veggies, and never missed the other stuff. They also were never picky, because they were never taught to be. If it went on their plate, they had to try it. We pulled a lot of reverse psychology on them to get them to put it on their plate ("Sorry, honey. That's grown up stuff. I don't think you'd like it. Well, I guess, if you're sure you want to try it, but really, only grown ups like it.") but once there, it had to be at least tasted. They were munching on sushi, tzatziki, dolmathes, curry, and a variety of other foods before they went to kindergarten, and they loved it. I also did a lot of renaming to get them to eat things they wouldn't otherwise eat, like Pirate's Eyes (piece of bread with a circle cut out and an egg cracked into the circle), Monkey Toes (dolmathes), and American Mix (goulash). (Weird how just renaming things somehow makes them edible.)

I believe that healthy habits start young, so I taught my kids how to eat healthy foods in appropriate quantities. Sure, we occasionally had pancakes for dinner and ice cream for breakfast, but those were treat days and rare, and the kids understood why. I never counted their calories, but I did teach them serving sizes ("Want a second helping? Okay, sounds good.") and how to snack healthy.

And guess what happened? It made it a million times easier for me to eat healthy. No having to make two meals. No having to answer awkward questions about why I had to eat something different from them. No having unhealthy foods around to tempt me. It was win-win for everyone.

I completely agree with this! .. However I have a different spin on it that if parents DID serve more whole foods vs processed then we'd all be that much more ahead.

I have 3 yr old twins and they both love salad!!! Someone put it to me this way. Your kids will not starve themselves. If they are hungry enough they WILL eat. I make what I make for the family, and if they dont eat it, they dont eat. Simple. No second dinners, no snacks, nothing.

That being said, I do try to make something EVERYONE likes ...
For example DD loves squash, DS hates it so I make squash and carrots and they both get to eat something they like.
I dont believe in making one suffer completely .. lol

My kids dont like normal kid things like Chef boy-r-dee or any of that processed kind of food. I seriously attribute that to the fact that i've made them homemade food since they day they started eating solids - never bought jarred baby food of any kind

While other kids are asking for chips and chocolate, mine are asking for bananas and yogurt ... Im a proud Mama!!
In fact they never even TASTED candy until this past Halloween ... and my son hates sweets of any kind!!

I figure just because I made/make bad choices in life, doesnt mean my kids should be subjected to that...
The more you serve it, the more they will learn to like it.
It takes something like 20 times to decide if you really like something (kind of like making something a habit) ....

SithChicky

mine are 2 and 3, if you think they're eating salad, you're nuts lol they're too little, and they are healthy. they're actually on the smaller percentile for their weights. I'm not going to tell them no when it comes to food they eat. Kids are picky, I'd rather have them eat what they like. I'm having a hard time because of my own choices and my hypothyroid. I ate mac and cheese and pbj and as a child and I was fine. I still am healthy. I may be overweight, but I'm not unhealthy in any form.

I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong or in anyway trying to imply that your kids will be hurt by eating mac and cheese. They won't. I was raised on it and didn't have a weight problem until my fourth kid was born and I got sick.

I'm only telling you what worked for me and my kids. And yes, my 2 and 3 year olds ate salads, loved fresh veggies, and never missed the other stuff. They also were never picky, because they were never taught to be. If it went on their plate, they had to try it. We pulled a lot of reverse psychology on them to get them to put it on their plate ("Sorry, honey. That's grown up stuff. I don't think you'd like it. Well, I guess, if you're sure you want to try it, but really, only grown ups like it.") but once there, it had to be at least tasted. They were munching on sushi, tzatziki, dolmathes, curry, and a variety of other foods before they went to kindergarten, and they loved it. I also did a lot of renaming to get them to eat things they wouldn't otherwise eat, like Pirate's Eyes (piece of bread with a circle cut out and an egg cracked into the circle), Monkey Toes (dolmathes), and American Mix (goulash). (Weird how just renaming things somehow makes them edible.)

I believe that healthy habits start young, so I taught my kids how to eat healthy foods in appropriate quantities. Sure, we occasionally had pancakes for dinner and ice cream for breakfast, but those were treat days and rare, and the kids understood why. I never counted their calories, but I did teach them serving sizes ("Want a second helping? Okay, sounds good.") and how to snack healthy.

And guess what happened? It made it a million times easier for me to eat healthy. No having to make two meals. No having to answer awkward questions about why I had to eat something different from them. No having unhealthy foods around to tempt me. It was win-win for everyone.

my older is very picky, and I didn't teach her to be. She eats what she's given for her meals, but I'd rather offer her something she'll eat rather than fight with her and make her feel like she HAS to eat what she's given. I grew up that way, I was FORCED to eat things my mother's ex knew I hated, and I will not ever do that to my children. He forced me to sit and clean my plate, even if I sat there literally all night until school the next morning. Don't judge.

SithChicky

mine are 2 and 3, if you think they're eating salad, you're nuts lol they're too little, and they are healthy. they're actually on the smaller percentile for their weights. I'm not going to tell them no when it comes to food they eat. Kids are picky, I'd rather have them eat what they like. I'm having a hard time because of my own choices and my hypothyroid. I ate mac and cheese and pbj and as a child and I was fine. I still am healthy. I may be overweight, but I'm not unhealthy in any form.

I'm not saying that you're doing anything wrong or in anyway trying to imply that your kids will be hurt by eating mac and cheese. They won't. I was raised on it and didn't have a weight problem until my fourth kid was born and I got sick.

I'm only telling you what worked for me and my kids. And yes, my 2 and 3 year olds ate salads, loved fresh veggies, and never missed the other stuff. They also were never picky, because they were never taught to be. If it went on their plate, they had to try it. We pulled a lot of reverse psychology on them to get them to put it on their plate ("Sorry, honey. That's grown up stuff. I don't think you'd like it. Well, I guess, if you're sure you want to try it, but really, only grown ups like it.") but once there, it had to be at least tasted. They were munching on sushi, tzatziki, dolmathes, curry, and a variety of other foods before they went to kindergarten, and they loved it. I also did a lot of renaming to get them to eat things they wouldn't otherwise eat, like Pirate's Eyes (piece of bread with a circle cut out and an egg cracked into the circle), Monkey Toes (dolmathes), and American Mix (goulash). (Weird how just renaming things somehow makes them edible.)

I believe that healthy habits start young, so I taught my kids how to eat healthy foods in appropriate quantities. Sure, we occasionally had pancakes for dinner and ice cream for breakfast, but those were treat days and rare, and the kids understood why. I never counted their calories, but I did teach them serving sizes ("Want a second helping? Okay, sounds good.") and how to snack healthy.

And guess what happened? It made it a million times easier for me to eat healthy. No having to make two meals. No having to answer awkward questions about why I had to eat something different from them. No having unhealthy foods around to tempt me. It was win-win for everyone.

I completely agree with this! .. However I have a different spin on it that if parents DID serve more whole foods vs processed then we'd all be that much more ahead.

I have 3 yr old twins and they both love salad!!! Someone put it to me this way. Your kids will not starve themselves. If they are hungry enough they WILL eat. I make what I make for the family, and if they dont eat it, they dont eat. Simple. No second dinners, no snacks, nothing.

That being said, I do try to make something EVERYONE likes ...
For example DD loves squash, DS hates it so I make squash and carrots and they both get to eat something they like.
I dont believe in making one suffer completely .. lol

My kids dont like normal kid things like Chef boy-r-dee or any of that processed kind of food. I seriously attribute that to the fact that i've made them homemade food since they day they started eating solids - never bought jarred baby food of any kind

While other kids are asking for chips and chocolate, mine are asking for bananas and yogurt ... Im a proud Mama!!
In fact they never even TASTED candy until this past Halloween ... and my son hates sweets of any kind!!

I figure just because I made/make bad choices in life, doesnt mean my kids should be subjected to that...
The more you serve it, the more they will learn to like it.
It takes something like 20 times to decide if you really like something (kind of like making something a habit) ....

mine don't like the canned spaghetti crap or anything, but there's nothing wrong with pbj and mac and cheese for lunch. And again, I didn't teach my daughter to be picky, she just is. Only veggie she likes is broccoli, she doesn't pig out on sweets. She likes a lot of things that are good for you. I just used to pbj and mac and cheese as an example, regardless, I didn't come on here to get slammed nicely for my parenting. My kids are healthy and I'd rather give them what they will eat, within reason, than have them grow up how I did. It leads to way more problems.

Linbo93

My fiancee and I are in on this together, so I have plenty of support in that department! Our close friends and immediate family do know. But I've discovered that talking about your food and exercise choices, while interesting to me and SO, are not a hot topic amongst most of my friends or family. So, I only talk about it briefly, and only if they bring it up. I am not on a diet, this is a change I made to my lifestyle and intend to continue until the day I die. So regardless of whether or not my friends or family want to know about how its going, I will continue to just keep doing what I'm doing. Its exciting to me, watching the changes my body and brain are going through. And I guess thats enough for me! :OD

mamabear0222

my older is very picky, and I didn't teach her to be. She eats what she's given for her meals, but I'd rather offer her something she'll eat rather than fight with her and make her feel like she HAS to eat what she's given. I grew up that way, I was FORCED to eat things my mother's ex knew I hated, and I will not ever do that to my children. He forced me to sit and clean my plate, even if I sat there literally all night until school the next morning. Don't judge.

And that is the issue right there. No one should be FORCED to eat anything.... it creates a very bad message from the get go.

I dont force either of mine to eat. However, they aren't getting a PB and J sandwich because they didnt feel like chicken and squash ... no deal.

mamabear0222

mine don't like the canned spaghetti crap or anything, but there's nothing wrong with pbj and mac and cheese for lunch. And again, I didn't teach my daughter to be picky, she just is. Only veggie she likes is broccoli, she doesn't pig out on sweets. She likes a lot of things that are good for you. I just used to pbj and mac and cheese as an example, regardless, I didn't come on here to get slammed nicely for my parenting. My kids are healthy and I'd rather give them what they will eat, within reason, than have them grow up how I did. It leads to way more problems.

hey im not slamming in any way .. and you're right there's nothing wrong with those things once in a while.

if she doesnt like veggies have you tried the weelicious website? yes kids ARE picky ... but there are so many good recipes out there that incorporates veggies that they might not like to eat ..

heck i dont like certain veggies .. we all have our thing ...

SithChicky

my older is very picky, and I didn't teach her to be. She eats what she's given for her meals, but I'd rather offer her something she'll eat rather than fight with her and make her feel like she HAS to eat what she's given. I grew up that way, I was FORCED to eat things my mother's ex knew I hated, and I will not ever do that to my children. He forced me to sit and clean my plate, even if I sat there literally all night until school the next morning. Don't judge.

And that is the issue right there. No one should be FORCED to eat anything.... it creates a very bad message from the get go.

I dont force either of mine to eat. However, they aren't getting a PB and J sandwich because they didnt feel like chicken and squash ... no deal.

I'm the same with my girls, If they want something different from each other for lunch, no biggie, but dinner is dinner and i'm not making 4 meals for every person. Dinner is what dinner is, if you don't like it, go hungry. I'm not having my kids be forced to eat things they don't like, it's not a way to be raised. I had to sit at the table all through the night, at least once a week because my mom's ex made something I didn't like, and he knew I didn't like. It led to more problems, when my mom finally left him, I gained a good 50 lbs between 12-14 years old, and then by the time I was 15, I was self conscious about my weight. I'm NOT subjecting my girls to anything close to that.

miracole

I make no secret that I'm working on a healthy lifestyle. Would DEFINITELY not hide it from my husband. The way I figure it you're going to get people who judge you for how you look, or your food choices (good or bad) for going out to exercise (I get called crazy a lot for noon-time runs) for not going out to exercise, for how you look WHILE you exercise... but let them. To be honest I'd rather be upfront about it because if someone says/does something that makes it harder to meet my goals then at least I can fall back on "thanks but I'm watching what I eat" and since they already know that it's just reaffirming the message. The things people say and do will upset you and frustrate you but if they don't know WHY what they've said/done is upsetting then you have to internalize all those feelings, and that's just not healthy!

In my opinion, being fit means fit in the mind and the body!