TROOF!

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Captain_Tightpants
Captain_Tightpants Posts: 2,215 Member
in Chit-Chat
1. Every time you eat below your BMR, a small kitten somewhere passes away.
2. Dr. Oz is right.
3. Your weight went up because ignorance weighs more than fat.
4. Wrapping your torso in clingfilm helps you sweat the fat out, but cutting your wrist and bleeding it out is, like, waaaay quicker.
5. Sugar from fruit will make your nipples explode.
6. Eat 340-360 small nibbles of food evenly over the course of the day, this helps boost your metabolism.
7. Don't eat your exercise calories back because, DUH THAT"S TOTALLY DEFEATING THE POINT DUH.
8. Spot reduction is totally possible but it requires the sacrifice of a child during the full moon.
9. Eat primal yo, because, like, that's how our ancestors ate, yo.
10. Cardio before lifting except after C.
11. You aren't eating enough. Eat more.
12. You can't build muscle on a bacon deficit.
13. If you feed yourself after midnight you will become a gremlin.
14. Women who lift weights usually end up pregnant.
15. Kevin Spacey was Keyser Soze.
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Replies

  • buttlickjones
    buttlickjones Posts: 3
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    Don't you have anything better to do?
  • _Christine_
    _Christine_ Posts: 1,388 Member
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    My favorite comic book store closed a few months ago. I'm pretty sure it's because of Dr. Oz. :mad:
  • tageekly
    tageekly Posts: 3,755 Member
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    I just cut my protein bar in 300 pieces - thank goodness I'm on the right path!

    :flowerforyou:
  • imthelobster
    imthelobster Posts: 179 Member
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    OH NOES THE KITTENS.
  • terri0527
    terri0527 Posts: 678 Member
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    So that is why my kittens keep disappearing! Damn! :grumble:
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,843 Member
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    Number 12 is actually true.
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
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    Dr Oz is......wait for it....a biotch:smokin:
  • jmelyan23
    jmelyan23 Posts: 1,664 Member
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    Ooooh, so THAT is how I get pregnant. Silly me.
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,874 Member
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    I have a couple of small children that insist on hanging around, playing Xbox and eating my food. They keep calling me 'Mom for some reason. I think I just found the solution to all my problems!
  • sazzyp1973
    sazzyp1973 Posts: 517 Member
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    very funny, number 15 made me laugh the most!
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    so what your saying is Keyser Soze got is mistress pregnate while she was lifting weights instead of cooking him bacon
  • jkestens63
    jkestens63 Posts: 1,164 Member
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    So that is why my kittens keep disappearing! Damn! :grumble:

    And now I have an explanation for my nipples. I told my husband I wasn't wearing firecracker pasties!!!
  • invisibubble
    invisibubble Posts: 662 Member
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    3. Your weight went up because ignorance weighs more than fat.
    Oh-ho! Is funny because is true!
    No, really though, made me lol.
  • _TastySnoBalls_
    _TastySnoBalls_ Posts: 1,298 Member
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    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • ZombieChaser
    ZombieChaser Posts: 1,555 Member
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    35kew2.jpg
  • runfatmanrun
    runfatmanrun Posts: 1,090 Member
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    Best post all day.
  • KCoolBeanz
    KCoolBeanz Posts: 813 Member
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    awesome!
  • BigBrewski
    BigBrewski Posts: 922 Member
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    Best post all day.

    I am going with Best post all MONTH...
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
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    In reference to #1....

    Don't worry, kittens, you're safe with me.
  • Mr_Cape219
    Mr_Cape219 Posts: 1,345 Member
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    Your+Mind+Blown.+Tim+and+Eric+Awesome+Show_d781d1_3744116.gif

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