TROOF!
Captain_Tightpants
Posts: 2,215 Member
in Chit-Chat
1. Every time you eat below your BMR, a small kitten somewhere passes away.
2. Dr. Oz is right.
3. Your weight went up because ignorance weighs more than fat.
4. Wrapping your torso in clingfilm helps you sweat the fat out, but cutting your wrist and bleeding it out is, like, waaaay quicker.
5. Sugar from fruit will make your nipples explode.
6. Eat 340-360 small nibbles of food evenly over the course of the day, this helps boost your metabolism.
7. Don't eat your exercise calories back because, DUH THAT"S TOTALLY DEFEATING THE POINT DUH.
8. Spot reduction is totally possible but it requires the sacrifice of a child during the full moon.
9. Eat primal yo, because, like, that's how our ancestors ate, yo.
10. Cardio before lifting except after C.
11. You aren't eating enough. Eat more.
12. You can't build muscle on a bacon deficit.
13. If you feed yourself after midnight you will become a gremlin.
14. Women who lift weights usually end up pregnant.
15. Kevin Spacey was Keyser Soze.
2. Dr. Oz is right.
3. Your weight went up because ignorance weighs more than fat.
4. Wrapping your torso in clingfilm helps you sweat the fat out, but cutting your wrist and bleeding it out is, like, waaaay quicker.
5. Sugar from fruit will make your nipples explode.
6. Eat 340-360 small nibbles of food evenly over the course of the day, this helps boost your metabolism.
7. Don't eat your exercise calories back because, DUH THAT"S TOTALLY DEFEATING THE POINT DUH.
8. Spot reduction is totally possible but it requires the sacrifice of a child during the full moon.
9. Eat primal yo, because, like, that's how our ancestors ate, yo.
10. Cardio before lifting except after C.
11. You aren't eating enough. Eat more.
12. You can't build muscle on a bacon deficit.
13. If you feed yourself after midnight you will become a gremlin.
14. Women who lift weights usually end up pregnant.
15. Kevin Spacey was Keyser Soze.
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Replies
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Don't you have anything better to do?0
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My favorite comic book store closed a few months ago. I'm pretty sure it's because of Dr. Oz. :mad:0
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I just cut my protein bar in 300 pieces - thank goodness I'm on the right path!
:flowerforyou:0 -
OH NOES THE KITTENS.0
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So that is why my kittens keep disappearing! Damn! :grumble:0
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Number 12 is actually true.0
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Dr Oz is......wait for it....a biotch:smokin:0
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Ooooh, so THAT is how I get pregnant. Silly me.0
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I have a couple of small children that insist on hanging around, playing Xbox and eating my food. They keep calling me 'Mom for some reason. I think I just found the solution to all my problems!0
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very funny, number 15 made me laugh the most!0
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so what your saying is Keyser Soze got is mistress pregnate while she was lifting weights instead of cooking him bacon0
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So that is why my kittens keep disappearing! Damn! :grumble:
And now I have an explanation for my nipples. I told my husband I wasn't wearing firecracker pasties!!!0 -
Oh-ho! Is funny because is true!3. Your weight went up because ignorance weighs more than fat.
No, really though, made me lol.0 -
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0
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Best post all day.0
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awesome!0
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Best post all day.
I am going with Best post all MONTH...0 -
In reference to #1....
Don't worry, kittens, you're safe with me.0 -
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:laugh: Made my day!0
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