shame...

Mteach1

In high school I was about 115 to 125lbs and 5ft 7in (small frame). Thin, but really in shape due to soccer and dancing. In college when I met my husband I was about 130lb. He was tall and really fit from running and weight lifting. Now 10 years have past and he looks better than ever and I am 166lbs and so ashamed. I had a baby 4 months ago, but was about 155 before I got pregnant. I am still wearing maternity clothes and even some of those are too tight! None of the clothes in my closet fit so I wear the same 5 sundresses over and over again. My husband is really encouraging and sweet, but it is hard. I started running 4 weeks ago with a training schedule for a 5k and have not lost a pound. I am eating more carefully too and have been for 6 weeks now. I think joining this week will help me.
I live and work in the same town I grew up in and dread going out for fear of running into someone that I haven't seen in a while. The other night I was out on my long run and started crying in shame over how big I had gotten and how hard it is and had to come home. I know that I am trying, but with a new baby and it being sooo hot it is hard to even get out the door. I can't afford a gym membership...
I want to feel good again and not have to even think about my weight. Just to be happy to be me.

babesintow

I have a similar story, roughly same size and shape in high as well as when I started here. Met my hubby in high school and we have been together for 20 years now. Having children is rough on our bodies and being disappointed with where you are is understandable but don't continue to beat yourself up over it. My youngest is 13 and I didn't have a good excuse for how I looked and it affected how I felt about everything. Your hormones are just now trying to find their new normal and if they are out of wack you will not lose any weight. The more pressure you place on yourself the harder it will be to lose weight. You are not alone, we have all been there that is why we are here.

I hope you start to feel better soon it will go a long way in meeting your goals. I worked out for months and didn't see any real changes until I stopped stressing over it. I gave away most of my skinny clothes and decided if I lost the weight I deserved new ones. I changed my goals to be healthy no matter what the scale said, and shortly afterwards I noticed the changes begin. Stress go a long way to sabotage our goals to become healthy.

You may be feeling shameful over how you look but I hope you don't focus so much on your weight loss that you miss out on some wonderful moments with your family. My oldest is in college and I would hate to have missed something because I was worried about what the scale said. I spend most of my time working out when they are in school or sleeping in over summer break and hang with them on the weekends. You can get a work out in by playing with them just play as hard as they do.

Good luck and I hope you stick with it...better days are coming. Please keep us updated!!!

EvilMomma

In high school I weighed 140-145 on a 5'8" frame; all muscle. When I started on MFP in April I weighed in at 230 lbs. I am at 211 today. I am not ashamed that I got fat, life and a baby happened.. I have don't have time for shame in my life. I have no desire to fit into a size 3; I want to be a size 10-12; if it was good enough for Marilyn Monroe its good enough for me. That will put me at a very curvy 160. This is my journey and no one else's.

Please, make this about your quest for better health, feeling good, and enjoying your body. F@#k other people's opinions...

frenchgrapes

You sound as if you are having some postpartum depression too.

Might want to talk with your doctor about that.

Hope you feel better soon.

Healthy isn't a number on a scale.

beautifullyblessed16

I have don't have time for shame in my life.

Please, make this about your quest for better health, feeling good, and enjoying your body. F@#k other people's opinions...

Love this! I am working on the shame factor too. It is a mental process as much as it is physical. You are not alone. So many people have overcome fear, shame, failure, and setbacks along their weightloss journey. We can too! Keep pushing one day at a time.

Hint: Put away the scale and track your inches. To me, they are a better indicator of fitness.

Fluffywhip

I know it sucks to be working out for a month and not see any results on the scale, but if you want to feel good again you have to keep at it! Always remember that muscle weighs more than fat and that all that new muscle burns your fat. There is a science behind all of this! If you workout religiously and keep an ACCURATE food log here on MFP, you will see results! Don't get too hard on yourself, it took TIME to put that weight on and it's going to take TIME and butt ton of work to get it off. Always remember that you can do it, but you have to really try!!!! Best of luck to you.

mmackiewicz9

Don't be ashamed, be motivated!

katmix

In high school I weighed 140-145 on a 5'8" frame; all muscle. When I started on MFP in April I weighed in at 230 lbs. I am at 211 today. I am not ashamed that I got fat, life and a baby happened.. I have don't have time for shame in my life. I have no desire to fit into a size 3; I want to be a size 10-12; if it was good enough for Marilyn Monroe its good enough for me. That will put me at a very curvy 160. This is my journey and no one else's.

Please, make this about your quest for better health, feeling good, and enjoying your body. F@#k other people's opinions...

You are absolutely right that this is an individual journey - and we need to be in a place where we love being in our skins and comfortable.

Just a head's up regarding sizing, however...(ahem!) A 10-12 would fit Marilyn like a sack... Clothing standards changed (commercial standards were tossed in early 80s) and clothing patterns are pretty much the only thing that follows the old standards - in the US. http://museum.nist.gov/exhibits/apparel/vanity.htm

devil_in_a_blue_dress

I understand how hard it is to have your body change on you, but I hope logically you know that being 5'7 and a 166 is SO far from huge. You're technically only 9 pound overweight and you had a baby 4 months ago!

Also 4 months after birth is when most postpartum depression peaks. For more info that: http://www.webmd.com/depression/postpartum-depression/postpartum-depression-symptoms

I hope you help the find you need so that you can enjoy your family.

katmix

In high school I was about 115 to 125lbs and 5ft 7in (small frame). Thin, but really in shape due to soccer and dancing. In college when I met my husband I was about 130lb. He was tall and really fit from running and weight lifting. Now 10 years have past and he looks better than ever and I am 166lbs and so ashamed. I had a baby 4 months ago, but was about 155 before I got pregnant. I am still wearing maternity clothes and even some of those are too tight! None of the clothes in my closet fit so I wear the same 5 sundresses over and over again. My husband is really encouraging and sweet, but it is hard. I started running 4 weeks ago with a training schedule for a 5k and have not lost a pound. I am eating more carefully too and have been for 6 weeks now. I think joining this week will help me.
I live and work in the same town I grew up in and dread going out for fear of running into someone that I haven't seen in a while. The other night I was out on my long run and started crying in shame over how big I had gotten and how hard it is and had to come home. I know that I am trying, but with a new baby and it being sooo hot it is hard to even get out the door. I can't afford a gym membership...
I want to feel good again and not have to even think about my weight. Just to be happy to be me.

First, congrats on being a new mommy! Babies are God's greatest blessing! Take the time to enjoy each day with your little one (and believe me, I know that the days will often run into each other - and you feel they will never end!) I promise one day you'll blink, and they'll be graduating university (like mine) and I wonder where the time went? Events that I thought I'd never forget - seem but a distant cobwebby memory... Keep a memory book, and take lots of pics!

Some questions I'd ask, would be... You're in tears and you're associating them with your disgust with yourself... Could be a lack of sleep is preventing you from keeping things in perspective, or...could be you have a bit of postpartum depression. Talk to your doctor, and if they pooh-pooh that, talk to a friend/relative that has known you through life's ups/downs and ask if they think there could be an issue. (I personally knew something was "off" after my first, but my doctor didn't say anything - granted, I probably never asked - but my sis-in-law could see it.)

My other question would be...are you nursing? You have to eat well to keep your milk supply - more than if you are trying to actively drop weight. As moms, sometimes we make tough choices (I didn't nurse either of mine) for some moms - they nurse until their kids can play ball outside!

Either way, it can take a bit of time to get back to pre-pregnancy shape...(it took me 5 months to drop 65 pounds) and to be fair - my body shape has never resembled the shape I had before... We have to learn to love the skin we're in and be the best positive role model of health for our little ones!