OMG ~ any soutern/country folk out there?
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I'm from Missouri and this hits home! Enjoy!
The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!
1. Pull your droopy pants up.. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $70,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. We say "sir and ma'am", "please and thank you", "excuse me and I'm sorry" when we are wrong or impolite. Do not make the mistake of thinking it makes us weak. It's just good up-bringing.
12. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
13. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks inCincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
14. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it frightens the fish, and aggravates the alligators.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.
18. Don't think that since we talk slow, we think slow. You may be in for a surprise.
19. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
20. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump stuff ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true southerner will send this to at least 10 others
The 'Rules of the South' are as follows!!!
1. Pull your droopy pants up.. You look like an idiot.
2. Turn your cap right, your head isn't crooked.
3. Let's get this straight; it's called a "gravel road." I drive a pickup truck because I want to. No matter how slow you drive, you're going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.
4. They are cattle. That's why they smell to you. They smell like money to us. Get over it. Don't like it? I-40 goes east and west, I-65 goes north and south. Pick one.
5. So you have a $70,000 car. We're impressed. We have $250,000 cotton strippers that are driven only 3 weeks a year.
6. So every person in the south waves. It's called being friendly. Try to understand the concept.
7. If that cell phone rings while a bunch of doves are coming in, we WILL shoot it out of your hand. You better hope you don't have it up to your ear at the time.
8. Yeah, we eat catfish &; crawfish. You really want sushi & caviar? It's available at the corner bait shop.
9. The "Opener" refers to the first day of deer season. It's a religious holiday held the closest Saturday to the first of November.
10. We open doors for women. That is applied to all women, regardless of age.
11. We say "sir and ma'am", "please and thank you", "excuse me and I'm sorry" when we are wrong or impolite. Do not make the mistake of thinking it makes us weak. It's just good up-bringing.
12. No, there's no "vegetarian special" on the menu. Order steak. Or you can order the Chef's Salad and pick off the 2 pounds of ham & turkey.
13. When we fill out a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We use three spices: salt, pepper, and ketchup! Oh, yeah.... We don't care what you folks inCincinnati call that stuff you eat... IT AIN'T REAL CHILI!!
14. You bring "coke" into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring "Mary Jane" into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot, drive a truck, and have long hair.
15. College and High School Football is as important here as the Lakers and the Knicks, and a dang site more fun to watch.
16. Yeah, we have golf courses. But don't hit the water hazards -- it frightens the fish, and aggravates the alligators.
17. Colleges? We have them all over. We have State Universities , Universities, and Vo-techs. They come outta there with an education plus a love for God and country, and they still wave at everybody when they come for the holidays.
18. Don't think that since we talk slow, we think slow. You may be in for a surprise.
19. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines. So don't mess with us. If you do, you will get whipped by the best.
20. Turn down that blasted car stereo! That thumpity-thump stuff ain't music, anyway. We don't want to hear it anymore than we want to see your boxers! Refer back to #1!
A true southerner will send this to at least 10 others
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Replies
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Those are great! :laugh:0
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Love it!!!! #12 made me laugh out loud at the computer screen!!!! It's so very true!0
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:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Misplaced Missourian here. I love those. I may live in Washington State now, but I'm still a midwestern girl at heart. :happy:0 -
I seriously about fell out of my chair! :laugh:0
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Ahhh Missouri..... where the Cops are plentiful and the meth heads run scared.0
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Momm - what part of Missouri?0
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Momm - what part of Missouri?
Way up by the Iowa line. Little bitty town called Livonia. I went to high school in Unionville. What part are you from?0 -
Was born in Rolla ~ and was raised in Lee's Summit - outside Kansas City.0
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Lived in Kansas City for ten years. My wife did her masters at Warrensburg (CMSU). Love this area.0
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LOL! Love it! I am from Southern IL, and I work in St. Louis.0
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Great Post... You know we TEXANS have annexed being called WEST.. and adopted the SOUTH!0
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Go Longhorns!0
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True southern girl here.....Louisiana. Geaux Tigers!!!!0
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Great Post. I grew up in Arkansas but live in the UP Michigan now and think they should all follow by those rules. I used to live in Kansas City, KS for a short time but worked in Lee Summit. Thanks for posting this it really made my day!!!0
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LOL! Love it! I am from Southern IL, and I work in St. Louis.
East St Louis? whao :sick:0 -
LOL! Love it! I am from Southern IL, and I work in St. Louis.
East St Louis? whao :sick:
NO!! LOL!!:laugh: I am from Belleville, IL......about 15 mins farther from the Mississip.0 -
LOL! Love it! I am from Southern IL, and I work in St. Louis.
East St Louis? whao :sick:
NO!! LOL!!:laugh: I am from Belleville, IL......about 15 mins farther from the Mississip.
oh well thats a relief.0 -
louisiana here also....GEAUXXXX TIGERS!!!0
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Was born in Rolla ~ and was raised in Lee's Summit - outside Kansas City.
I was at Fort Leonard Wood for a while in 2005.
Had to drive to Rolla to do my banking. :indifferent:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:0 -
Was born in Rolla ~ and was raised in Lee's Summit - outside Kansas City.
I was at Fort Leonard Wood for a while in 2005.
Had to drive to Rolla to do my banking. :indifferent:
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
Fort Lostinthewoods, MO. We get the distinct pleasure of supporting the Sapper school down there.
Lots of fun. Boring army post.0
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