What is wrong with me?!?

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aridge08
aridge08 Posts: 16
in Chit-Chat
Ok, I just have to kind of vent and need a little advice, I have really slimmed down and my boyfriend acts like he cant stand it! It is almost like he wants me to be a big lardo. He use to be all over me and now i do good to get him to hug me. WTH? I don't feel like im gross, I am actually starting to like myself finally and I just don't get what he is going through.... has anyone went through this before or have any advice for me, should i just kick his *kitten* to the curb or what? Thanks!
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Replies

  • sktllmdrhmz
    sktllmdrhmz Posts: 2,073 Member
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    What does he have to say about it?
  • Emzii_Wilko
    Emzii_Wilko Posts: 16 Member
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    Does he struggle with his weight to? He may just be envious of the fact you've managed to lose what you want and he hasn't? x
  • stevepierson
    stevepierson Posts: 119
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    Has your attitude changed toward him, since you've slimmed down?
  • myers0machine
    myers0machine Posts: 685
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    maybe you have changed go give him a cuddle
  • AwesomelyAmber
    AwesomelyAmber Posts: 1,617 Member
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    Ask him... he is the only one who has this answer. If he doesn't have the answer you are looking for, well then you got 'your answer' didn't you? Hope it all works out! :flowerforyou:
  • CountryBoy65
    CountryBoy65 Posts: 908 Member
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    Is he overweight?
  • Tlopez428
    Tlopez428 Posts: 115
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    To be completely honest a lot of guys like big woman. You might think that being fat is unattractive but there are some guys that LOVE big thick girls. Some men don't admit that because most people love sexy slim woman, but maybe he was attracted to your curves and meat you had on before. You should ask him to be honest with you.
  • aridge08
    aridge08 Posts: 16
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    I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.
  • clydethecat
    clydethecat Posts: 1,094 Member
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    my husband has a small part of him that doesnt want me to lose weight. hes happy i'm happy, and he supports what i'm doing, but he fell in love with me at this size, he married me at this size and i think its a slap in the face to a degree that i'm wanting to change.

    some of that is if i get slimmed down that i might not love him any more, so i make sure to give lots of kisses, sex and cuddles to let him know hes my man, and i'm here for the long haul. hes come to grips with it, but there will always be that small part that wishes i was still big.

    i say go to your guy, tell him you're here for the long haul and you love him very much. that is if you actually feel that way.
  • stevepierson
    stevepierson Posts: 119
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    I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.

    No, in my opinion, if what you say is true, he has an issue. He should be excited for you and your progress. As long as your attitude toward him hasn't changed, he should find you more desirable... just my opinion.
  • ImKindOfABigDeal40
    ImKindOfABigDeal40 Posts: 807 Member
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    I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.

    Is it possible that he feel threatened that you will get fit and leave him for someone else? Just a thought
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
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    I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.

    Is it possible that he feel threatened that you will get fit and leave him for someone else? Just a thought

    This.
  • SelkieDiver
    SelkieDiver Posts: 260 Member
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    he could be feeling insecure, in that as you become fitter, thinner & more attractive to other men he could lose you. Hard to sit down and have a conversation with someone who is shutting down like that but just keep trying.
  • aridge08
    aridge08 Posts: 16
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    I have tried everything, it almost seems like he just doesn't find me attractive at all anymore, maybe he does like big girls which is fine by me but thats not who i am anymore nor do I want to be, but the thing is anytime i try to talk to him he either tells me im retarded or to hush because he swears he isnt acting any different. He is the type of guy who does not dot he whole lets talk about how we feel thing.
  • shoobz
    shoobz Posts: 119
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    I dont feel like I have changed, he doesn't care about weight or anything, he gets mad if I even try to talk to him about working out or anythin that has anything to do with diet and exercise. Anytime I try and talk to him about it or ask him why he has been acting so strange he sayd "im tired" or "its hot" so I dont know what else to do, anytime someone comments on how well I look he says oh god dont get her ego up, its almost like hes mad because I am getting positive attention. But shouldn't he be happy for me and proud?? I would if the tables were turned. I dont know maybe I am just being a baby.

    Wow, that sounds completely out of order. If my BF said something like that about me, that would absolutely be the end of him. You want someone who loves and respects you no matter what you look like.
  • Pollywog39
    Pollywog39 Posts: 1,730 Member
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    Sounds like jealousy's rearing its ugly head.................he doesn't want you to change, to be more attractive to other men, to not be his little pudgy-wudgy. My 'x' did lots of undermining of any weight-loss efforts I tried.....he'd bring home pizzas and icecream and treats all the time, because he wanted me to be HIS and under his thumb.

    But it appears more that your guy is DIS-interested in you.........and maybe he's just trying to tell you he wants to move on!

    TALK to the man.......and get it figured out. If there's nothing worth keeping this relationship going, then get out of it.
  • apedeb09
    apedeb09 Posts: 805 Member
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    Well when my husband realized that I was really serious about losing weight, he said "You're not trying to lose weight so that you can leave me for another guy are you?"...... LOL. so, maybe your boyfriend is thinking like that?You never know . I do think you should talk to him about it though!
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    How old are you?

    How old is he?


    He sounds like he has the maturity of my 3rd old son.
  • shrinkingirl
    shrinkingirl Posts: 7
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    Sometimes, when one person in a relationship loses weight, the other one starts feeling insecure. They wonder if you think they're less attractive because they haven't done what you've done. They're scared of the extra attention you're going to be getting and if anyone "better" will come along.
    Try to imagine if the shoe were on the other foot and it was him who had either lost weight, gotten really into fitness, or if he started going to the gym and got an incredibly hot bod.... you'd likely wonder if he still found you as attractive as he used to. You'd worry that you'd have to change to keep him.

    Try giving him a little bit extra in terms of saying how much you appreciate him, love him, find him sexy, etc.
  • beckylawrence70
    beckylawrence70 Posts: 752 Member
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    Probably jealousy and insecurity now........

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