Selfish to exercise alone?

Vickiesings

I have been walking and running directly after arriving home from work each day. On the days when I don't work, I have been getting up early in the morning. I enjoy the time alone to think and to go at my own pace...which is pulse pounding for me since I have only been at it for a week. I like being able to go WHEN I want and to be able to return when I am ready. My next door neighbor asked to go with me. Is it selfish to want to be alone when I walk? What is the best way to handle this honestly AND diplomatically?

jaz050465

Not sure about the answer to your question but I feel exactly the same. I like to go in my own time and at my own pace. I would have thought that honesty is best. Your neighbour can't argue with how you feel and hopefully won't be offended.

ryno0618

I prefer to run alone. its my time. so i understand how you feel.
maybe try to explain this to your neighbor in a nice manner?
or compromise and walk with them a couple nights a week, while going on your own other nights.

MinMin97

I love my alone time so much I get up at 4:30am to get it! Personally, I would NOT want to go with someone who really didn't want me to go. And why would you do that to yourself? It is not selfish. But if there is some other activity you WANT to do with your neighbor, you could offer that.

Ervie317

I like to do cardio on my own except for when my fiance and I go for walks, it is nice to just chat about our days. I like to lift with him though, he really helps me to push harder than when I lift by myself.

StarIsMoving

Just be honest. Explain that you would love her company, but that is the time you take that is like your therapy and cheaper than a counselor How I explained to my friend was: I honestly have that as solo time, but we can get together for something else if you want? She looked at me weird and I explained that it's the time I run off my stress; just me, my ear buds, and my thoughts...and no one wants to see me if I can't get that time in.... she then laughed and never took offense

rml_16

Just tell her you're sorry, but exercise is your meditation time and you prefer solitude. Maybe you could (if you are so inclined) pick either one day a week or even go twice one or two days and include her then.

dellrio

I only exercise alone - its me time.

sazzyp1973

maybe you can do your own thing and then perhaps go for a separate walk with your neighbour? You might enjoy the change!

Annette_rose

I am the same way. I like to walk at a fast pace alone, not having to talk to anyone and being able to just think. Like you, I would wonder how to kindly turn the neighbor down.

murphy612

No you're not being selfish. I don't know how to handle it honestly but if you want an alternative to the socially acceptable honest route everyone is giving you let me know

jenluvsushi

Not selfish at all...I feel the same way. I don't want to chat or comprimise on anything I do in the gym....it is my time. Tell them the truth.....you need alone time. If they don't like it, oh well.

jennifer52484

Ask your neighbor if they want to walk with you on Mondays.. or whatever day you want... so that leaves all the other days to yourself.. and you don't have to feel bad.

ChristyRunStarr

I don't think it's selfish at all! But then again, I'm the same way. Some people like the company, others don't. I think when I'm at a better place (able to breath as I run) I'd feel like maybe I could go but for now, I like to be alone. I also find I enjoy going at 4:45/5am and not many people want to do that lol

RumOne

I tell people that it is quiet time for me to decompress and focus on myself but I'd be happy to meet up with them afterwards for coffee. I even have friends that do the same track I do at the same time and I STILL don't walk or run with them. We wave and go on doing our thing

secretlobster

I'm the same as you. The time I set aside to exercise is for me to focus on my own goals, and get lost in my own thoughts... It's not selfish at all.

You could just be honest with her and say "I appreciate the offer, but I prefer to work out alone because I need the time to myself. I wouldn't be very good company"

jtslim42

My best friend and I are the exact same way. We enjoy our alone time so when we "run together" it basically means we ride to the park together, stretch and then plan on a meeting point when we are finished. This way we both get to go our own pace and then afterwards can enjoy a protein shake together.

robinogue

I love working out alone, twice a week I attend a small group training but the rest of the time it's just me and my iPod :drinker:

Flixie00

Say ok, tell her that you plan to walk x miles at x pace and it should take x time, and if you want to be really evil, set the start to really early o'clock. If you use scary numbers, she may decide that going with you is not ideal, and if she still wants to go, you get a good work out :bigsmile:

MinnieInMaine

If you really want to be alone, there's nothing wrong with that. Just explain it as others have said - this is the one time you have to yourself and you really like to be able to have the quiet time to unwind. Hopefully she understands...

Or, if you think you won't mind having her along once or twice a week, see if you can coordinate your schedules. Who knows, it might be as nice to have someone to walk with and chat with as it is being alone. And chatting doesn't mean you have to go slow, my workout buddy and I still steam along pretty good while we chat.

mzhokie

I would be honest and explain that you have been enjoying the alone time to clear your head.

But maybe you can add a walk with the neighbor a couple times a week for added calorie burn for you and a nice social outlet. I have neighbors that do 2 miles on the local HS track. It's just walking at a pace where we can still talk but I like to join them once in a while to catch up.

FloraSin

I have co-workers that want to go together. I explained that I'm on a running program right now, and it isn't safe to go from not running to jumping in when I'm almost at the end. They opted to just go without me, which is fine, because they are at the same level mostly, right now. They weren't mad. I do go with them sometimes, but usually just on a whim.

I honestly prefer there be somebody there who doesn't feel like we have to chat instead of beating pavement. I took a bad fall once and fortunately, a guy who runs in my area happened across me and helped me out. Sometimes he and I sync up running times, but aside from the fact that he likes running and his name's Tim, I don't know much about him. We just pop in our headphones and remind one another to hydrate and not kill ourselves. He's more experienced than me, so he often gets ahead, but we're on the same path, so if he gets to the end and I don't show up after a few minutes, he knows to come back and see if I'm alright and vice versa.

It's the same when I run with my boyfriend (except, I'm the experienced one than). We don't talk. We just go and be alone, but together... if that makes sense.

iLose2Gain

I agree with the comments above! It is not selfish at all!! I initially wanted a workout partner when I started my weight lose journey because in the past, I pushed myself harder when I had that element of competition but my workout partners started strong but eventually flaked & didn't seem as serious about the workouts as I was! It was so irritating because either they would slow me down or I would be left to workout alone anyway! So if you want to be by yourself, it is ok to have your time!

stfuriada

I don't exercise with people. I'm serious about my workouts and I have heart rates and calorie goals.

"Exercising" with someone usually turns into chat/therapy time, which is a huge waste of time.

Bruinsmama

I workout alone, as others said it is "ME" time, but if my freinds ask me to walk the Bike Path with them I always go, becuase it is so much fun! Or my freind takes me to her Gym sometimes, also fun.
Why limit yourself? DO IT ALL!!!!!! :bigsmile:

thebaconbeast

I always do cardio with a cardio buddy , preferably with more than one cardio buddy.

ToniSG

I am in the same boat. My neighbor has asked if she could walk with me, I told her yes, nicely (with regrets) but since then the weather has become really HOT-I live in the south (very hot and humid) so I have started working out in the gym at my work. I did let her know that we could possibly get together a couple evening during the week when it's cooler if she would like.

I see exactly where you're coming from-Working out is my ME time. I'm in my zone, concentrating not really wanting to have a conversation with anyone.
Good Luck and I'm sure she will understand :-)

BrunetteRunner87

I like my alone time too, but recently my bf has asked to go with me. I love him a lot but I love my alone time! So I said we could go together once a week and it can be our thing :-)

Scarlett_S

Not at all selfish. I am the same way. I need to go when its convenient for me (sometimes 5 a.m., sometimes 9 p.m.) and I don't want to commit to someone elses schedule....even my children;. I would just tell my neighbor you are unsure of your schedule everyday and you have to exercise "on the fly." I also find other people slow me down (talking, etc.) and I don't work out as hard if someone is running with me or beside me at the gym.

rydn4h2o

I'm really happy to hear I'm not the only one. I like to get out by myself...it clears my head. I have a co-worker/neighbor who brings it up every now any then.

LindaCWy

Wig, sunglasses, trench coat. She'll never know it was you...