Lazy Boyfriend.

groomchick

Get him a Fitbit... got my BF off his butte!! Really motivating when they see on paper how lazy they really are! But in all honesty some people cannot be motivated....like dogs sitting on nails on the porch! Wont get up till it hurts bad enough!

Pink_Tina

My husband lost 75 pounds and I was the unmotivated fat one for 4 years. He did everything he could to try to get me to be more active and healthy. I paid him no mind. It wasn't until I finally decided for myself that I wanted to change my ways that I did. The best thing is to keep setting an example and be ready to help your significant other when they finally step up to the plate. I can honestly tell you that being hassled about it only made me not want to do it even more. :flowerforyou:

ashlinmarie

He will do it if and when he is ready. Try to change him and he may leave which is fine if that is what you want. If you really love him to death then show it.

My wife quit smoking 6 months before I did. Can't imagine how hard that was for her to do while I was still smoking and had cigarettes right in her reach. I eventually came around, inspired by her, and quit too. He may do the same.

Remember: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

^^^THIS^^^ He may see your success and want to change, but he has to want to do it on his own. It is one of those things where the more you push him to change, the more he is going to resist. I know I am going to have the same issue when my husband is done with his tech school for the military and I'm living with him. He has to work out a ton, BUT he will also eat like crap. He refuses my healthy food. I doubt it will ever change so I just have to hope I've made enough progress that it is easier for me to resist temptation. Right now, I would fail but I hope to be 25 pounds down or more by time that day comes which would put me halfway to my goal.

He does compromise, though. He tries to cook things that I can eat most of the time...using turkey burger instead of hamburger meat and doing more grilled chicken than steak and measuring things out. He is the better cook...unless it is mac and cheese, I can't touch it. So I appreciate him doing that for me. He just won't keep the chips and stuff out of the house.

weighlossforbaby

My husband is kinda over weight for his height too and he always talks about wanting to build muscle but when I beg him to go on the trail with me he would say "Nah, I'll wait here for you." I use portion control and measuring my food which he doesn't. I know the feeling.

SpazzyMal

Unfortunately, we can't change others, we can only change ourselves and hope others join us. I understand that's a hard thing to accept sometimes, since anyone can make a decision to better themselves and really wish everyone else would "see the light", as it were, at the same time. Sometimes everything goes well and people are ready to make their own changes and they'll join you, and sometimes it takes a while. Other times it never happens at all.

The thing is that ultimately YOU have to do this for yourself, and not let his lack of joining you bother you. You have to have the drive to go for the goal on your own, if that's what it takes. Be honest with yourself about your feelings towards him about how him not joining you makes you feel, though. Watch out for the bitterness bug, and remember that it's not his fault if he doesn't want to join you. If he is the receptive type, you can definitely ask him to at least support you and encourage you to reach your goal as opposed to ever saying anything negative.

amersmanders

Don't try to force him into it, he'll only end up resenting you. Do what you need to do for you. If you're the main grocery shopper in the house, buy stuff that will help support your goals. He will either choose to eat it and thereby adopt healthier eating habits, or he will make a point of going out and buying food that he wants to eat. Keep doing what you need to keep doing for you, and he'll either decide it's time for him to make the same choices, or he won't, but trying to coerce him into it will not get you very far. If/when he does get on board, be supportive without being overbearing.

skinnygirl122

In a situation like this you dont want to put him down by saying your fat but want to slowy have him join in on losing wieght. try to complement him on the little things he trys to do and reward him with your little prize of your own

FuneralDiner

It saddens me because I see these kinds of threads all the time.

The truth is, no amount of begging, encouraging or nagging will move his *kitten*. Just leave him be and get on with your new lifestyle. Don't let him drag you down.

ctooch99

I had sort of the opposite - I am divorced now, but my Ex is really thin and she could eat whatever she wanted. If I smell junk food I gain 5 pounds. She always kept the house packed with snacks and junk food!!! When I would tell her I did not want all that crap around she would get mad and tell me that I was the one who needed self control (which is true, but geez I am only human and when there is always a box of little chocolate donuts on the counter, they eventually will win).

So needless to say 7 months after we spilt - change my habits - cleared out the crap food and I am 35 pounds lighter.

I think it is really important for spouses/partners to be on the same page fitness/food wise - definitely a requirement if I meet someone new for sure!

ashlinmarie

I had sort of the opposite - I am divorced now, but my Ex is really thin and she could eat whatever she wanted. If I smell junk food I gain 5 pounds. She always kept the house packed with snacks and junk food!!! When I would tell her I did not want all that crap around she would get mad and tell me that I was the one who needed self control (which is true, but geez I am only human and when there is always a box of little chocolate donuts on the counter, they eventually will win).

So needless to say 7 months after we spilt - change my habits - cleared out the crap food and I am 35 pounds lighter.

I think it is really important for spouses/partners to be on the same page fitness/food wise - definitely a requirement if I meet someone new for sure!

We aren't always lucky to find someone with fitness goals. I used to avoid fit guys because I was not into fitness. Now that I want to be fit and healthy, I won't condemn my husband because he wants to eat crap...but I will ask that he at least keeps the junk somewhere where I won't see it all the time. Especially because I will be home a lot more than him. At least now we will be able to run together though =/

ctooch99

I had sort of the opposite - I am divorced now, but my Ex is really thin and she could eat whatever she wanted. If I smell junk food I gain 5 pounds. She always kept the house packed with snacks and junk food!!! When I would tell her I did not want all that crap around she would get mad and tell me that I was the one who needed self control (which is true, but geez I am only human and when there is always a box of little chocolate donuts on the counter, they eventually will win).

So needless to say 7 months after we spilt - change my habits - cleared out the crap food and I am 35 pounds lighter.

I think it is really important for spouses/partners to be on the same page fitness/food wise - definitely a requirement if I meet someone new for sure!

We aren't always lucky to find someone with fitness goals. I used to avoid fit guys because I was not into fitness. Now that I want to be fit and healthy, I won't condemn my husband because he wants to eat crap...but I will ask that he at least keeps the junk somewhere where I won't see it all the time. Especially because I will be home a lot more than him. At least now we will be able to run together though =/

I think if you are already in a marriage with someone and it works, then yeah, you have to find a compromise if one person is fit and the other is not into it. But I know for me, I would never enter into a new relationship now with someone who was not health conscious and who did not eat properly - it's that important to me now and it is an absolute deal breaker - no different than smoking.

almostatgoalweight

I can honestly tell you that being hassled about it only made me not want to do it even more. :flowerforyou:

The scientist who develops a pill to stop this from happening will be the richest person in history. Not just exercise/weight loss but anything that needs to be done but is hard.

almostatgoalweight

I had sort of the opposite - I am divorced now, but my Ex is really thin and she could eat whatever she wanted. If I smell junk food I gain 5 pounds. She always kept the house packed with snacks and junk food!!! When I would tell her I did not want all that crap around she would get mad and tell me that I was the one who needed self control (which is true, but geez I am only human and when there is always a box of little chocolate donuts on the counter, they eventually will win).

So needless to say 7 months after we spilt - change my habits - cleared out the crap food and I am 35 pounds lighter.

I think it is really important for spouses/partners to be on the same page fitness/food wise - definitely a requirement if I meet someone new for sure!

Oh this is so like me with my ex. I pleaded for her to put her crap in a opaque plastic container that I'd bought specifically for it. I made a promise to myself to never open the container. I never did. I threatened that I'd flush her junk food (and I did a few times). This is so difficult when food is "on display" and you're trying to lose weight and eat properly.