Starting Again

kshort49

I am doing a lousy job of trying to get healthy. I keep putting off changing my diet and exercising, and I'm really mad at myself. As I mentioned in my introduction a while back, I have quite a few illnesses (breast cancer-in remission but am on 13th year of treatment, lupus, fibromyalgia, degenerative disk disease-I guess at my age--62--things are going to start breaking down-, Langerhan Cell Histiocytosis-a leukemia like disease but not as deadly-and the chances of an adult having it are one in a Million-why can't I win the lottery, and most recently, a mTBI.

Over the years, the meds have really made me gain weight, along with me not being very active. The TBI is the thing that is my main problem. I used to do lots of walking, but now when I walk, I can get severe dizziness and balance problems, and don't feel safe. I want to train my dog, Maia, to work as a balance dog so I could hold on to her harness when we walk, but that's going to take a while to do.

I became disabled, technically, last year, although I fell and got my TBI in 2009. I lost my job in 2008 due to memory problems connected to the lupus and fibro. The brain injury made those problems seem like nothing. If I don't write down what someone says, I'll usually forget it within 10 minutes. I'm not one to be inactive, and I'm just so frustrated. So when I feel super frustrated, I go and buy myself a container of ice cream for my private pity party, and there goes the diet for that week.

So, this week (well starting yesterday) I decided I'm going to give it another try. Since ice cream is my addiction, and my largest source of calories, I've started making myself smoothies with fresh fruit and vanilla low fat yogurt. I blend that, and then freeze it in cups to eat, or drink, when I feel the call of ice cream. I've tried freezing regular yogurt, but I don't like the taste and feel. I've got to find a better way to make it, if I can, because it is difficult for me to use and then wash the blender-my hands are very arthritic. I was thinking of getting one of those hand-held small mixer things that you put right in the cup to blend the fruit and yogurt. However, living on a disability check, as many know, doesn't leave much for extra's like that.

But I figure if I just start out changing this one thing and get in the habit of eating this rather than the ice cream, I'll at least be cutting out some calories.

Exercise is hard because just about everytime I move my body or head I get dizzy, or if I see things moving-like leaves on a tree, a train, snow flakes coming down, etc I get dizzy, nauseous and off balance. I tried yoga sitting in a chair, but that didn't work because of the different way the head moves. I thought I might look for a video on tai-chi--I know that moves very slowly. Maybe I'll be able to do that.

Anyway, just wanted to let you know that I'm back, and I'm going to give it another try. The only place I am really noticeably fat is my stomach. My butt is skinny as are my thighs. I have one arm swollen from lyphedema from my cancer surgery, but there's nothing much I can do to get that skinny except from the stuff the therapist gave me.

I usually don't take part on forums-some I read, but rarely take part in. But I think that for this to work, I'm going to have to be real honest, especially when I fail at something, to get the best out of this site. So if you have to, yell at me, but if needed, offer me ideas to keep me going, ok? I hate looking 9 months pregnant, and have to get rid of this stomach/abdominal weight.

Sorry for the long post (after you get to know me, you'll know I have trouble keeping things short.) I live alone--son in Spain, daughter in DC, and I'm in NY. and have no family around. So, I guess you guys will be the ones to keep me going. My daughter will be coming home to visit at Christmas, so I want to have lost enough weight so that it is noticeable.\

Thanks everyone! Kathy

soccerella

Welcome! I'm just starting out again too...had alot of success, was diagnosed with Lyme disease earlier this year and have struggled with getting abck to working out since then. I know you say you dont pay alot of attention to the forums, but i foudn they help keep me in check alot and make me more aware of what im doing. In anycase, welcome back and best of luck!