Are people telling you to not lose anymore weight?

DeeDeeLHF

Hi,

The way I see it is this...yes I look better than I did 50 #'s ago (I lost 20#'s before joining MFP) but I still have 18 to go and it is coming off really slow (about 1-2 # per month). Well, with that rapid weight loss (thick sarcasm) it is hard to always stay motivated and it is made worse by almost everyone telling me I shouldn't lose any more weight. I am hearing, "You look great, don't turn into a bag of bones"...etc.

I really do not think my goal is a bad one. After babies I would go down to 102#, so a goal of 115 seems really normal to me. I am 45 years old and am 5' 1-1/2" and a goal weight of 115 puts me right in the middle of my BMI healthy weight.

I want to be even healthier than I am now. I am finally getting into shape and loving the feel of my body as it is toning up.

Any thoughts??

Thanks!

agarlits

People have been telling me that for months now but I still NEED to lose another 20Lbs. I'm not sure if their trying to be nice by saying that I dont look like I need to lose any more weight or what but it gets really annoying.

arewethereyet

I take it as a compliment. I had to spin it in my head a new way :flowerforyou:

epoeraven

I say as long as your goal weight is within your BMI index go for it!!! And, tell people exactly that when they make comments about your weight - all you have to say is, " I am shooting to hit the middle of my healthy weight range" and then leave it at that. I have found that when I throw numbers at people they tend back down. If that doesn't work - when you go in for your yearly physical ask your doctor if your goal is reasonable. That way when someone says something to you, just tell them that your doctor said it was okay. It is hard to argue with doctor's approval.

You mention getting into shape and feeling better. While I am sure you may have heard this before.....Part of your slow weight loss may be due to when you exercise muscle weighs more than fat. Since you are noticing that you are toning up but not losing much weight you are probably losing "fat" weight but gaining "muscle" weight at the same time.

kokonutmama

For some reason, people do that. You do look great, and if you would feel better minus another 15-20 lb, keep at it. I think 1 or 2 lb per month is fine progress for the last 15lb. You already look great, so don't rush, and loosing a few pounds every month is better than gaining a few, right?

Anyway, I think they're jealous

Azdak

That's pretty much a standard response. I would say that just about everyone on this site who has lost significant weight has heard that at one point.

Some of it is just being polite (another way of them saying how good they think you look), some of it is some vague feeling of resentment that you have lost weight and they can't.

But I think a lot of it is simply the fact that we have become so overweight as a nation, we just don't know what a "healthy weight' body looks like anymore.

I know from extensive testing in my graduate school days what my average lean body mass is. Even though I am now 25 years older, that LBM would most likely go down, rather than up, so any strength training I do (and I don't do a huge amount) is pretty much going to keep me in the same place. So I know from past experience what my weight should be if I am in the 15%-16% body fat range, which is a healthy place to be--and that is still another 25-30 pounds less than where I am now.

But I don't even bother to mention that anymore, because it freaks people out so much.

And, yes, I have found that it has slowed down my efforts to have this constant barrage of "don't lose any more weight" comments. It has affected me more than I ever would have expected.

We know what you are talking about--stick to your guns and go after your goal--it's a good one!

bettersusan

I think that is a perfectly reasonable goal! My goal is 135 and I'm 5'4. My husband thinks THAT is way too small. I think it's just because when we met I was in the mid 160's and he isn't used to the idea of me being that size. He's already told me he doesn't want me to lose too much more. He said he doesn't want other guys paying attention to me. :laugh: Seriously he is a good guy. I had a talk with him about how I REALLY need his support and encouragement in this...not DIScouragement! It's hard and I really want this.

I think people just get used to us being a certain way. If you'd always been 115, they wouldn't think a thing about it. My sister lost about 80 pounds and the same thing happened to her. People kept telling her she was getting too skinny the last 20-25 pounds. I know I want to get small enough that if I gain 5 pounds back, I'm not suddenly "fat" again, but that I can work to get it back off. I like to get low enough that I have some wiggle room!

Good luck. Shut those people out and focus on your goals. You are DOING AWESOME! Focus on being healthy. Your doctor won't tell you that you are getting too skinny. You have a very HEALTHY goal.

Susan


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Chart

arewethereyet

That's pretty much a standard response. I would say that just about everyone on this site who has lost significant weight has heard that at one point.

Some of it is just being polite (another way of them saying how good they think you look), some of it is some vague feeling of resentment that you have lost weight and they can't.

But I think a lot of it is simply the fact that we have become so overweight as a nation, we just don't know what a "healthy weight' body looks like anymore.

I know from extensive testing in my graduate school days what my average lean body mass is. Even though I am now 25 years older, that LBM would most likely go down, rather than up, so any strength training I do (and I don't do a huge amount) is pretty much going to keep me in the same place. So I know from past experience what my weight should be if I am in the 15%-16% body fat range, which is a healthy place to be--and that is still another 25-30 pounds less than where I am now.

But I don't even bother to mention that anymore, because it freaks people out so much.

And, yes, I have found that it has slowed down my efforts to have this constant barrage of "don't lose any more weight" comments. It has affected me more than I ever would have expected.

We know what you are talking about--stick to your guns and go after your goal--it's a good one!

thanks for saying what I edited 2x and then just deleted because it came out wrong.

I have had 1 person say to me.......so what are you going to lose, another 8-10 pounds?? It was from a healthy person who has always been into exercise.

Most ppl havent the foggiest idea of how much one should weigh. I was appaled (sp) at my body fat% last week. I was informed that I was 90 pounds lean mass and 45 pounds of fat?:noway:

She did explain that unless I am entering into a competition, I should only lose 20 more at tops.

Veronica320

No one I know is on board with me either. If we go out to eat and I order a chicken wrap (or just about anything remotely healthy on the menu) the eye rolling and "come on, come on come on" begins. Where's the support guys? You're supposed to be my friends. What's the deal?

DeeDeeLHF

Thanks everyone! I appreciate the boost!

I have every intention of keeping on even if it takes another year, and it might, to finally hit my goal!

I had my physical just this past May and she was so pleased with my weight loss and seemed to think 115 was reasonable, so I will use that too.

Plus, I will take it as a postive, but at the same time not let it go to my head. Sometimes it is tempting to think that I can revert back to old habits. That is the thinking that scares me. I KNOW that I can never go back to those old habits.

I have wondered about the muscle/fat thing. When I say I was down to 102#, I was doing aerobics but not much strength training and this time I am. I want to still have bones when I am 80! :laugh:

Also, I agree, I don't think we do know what a healthy body looks like. In our society we see a lot of either super-model thin or obese. Neither are healthy.

Thanks again!!

arewethereyet

No one I know is on board with me either. If we go out to eat and I order a chicken wrap (or just about anything remotely healthy on the menu) the eye rolling and "come on, come on come on" begins. Where's the support guys? You're supposed to be my friends. What's the deal?

I can tell you that after you have done it for awhile and they realize you are a changed woman........they will start ordering the same thing!! At least that is my experience.

I had someone come ask me about my lunch because " I always eat so healthy" ME??:noway:

I now say eating is eating............why is what I want of concern to you? and BTW, I MAY share desert with you if you are very good:laugh: :laugh:

iplayoutside19

How bout you and your doctor discuss it? That's what I did, and with that I have the confidence to ingore second geussers. let's face it. We are the people who know our own bodies the best.

DeeDeeLHF

Agree about going out with friends...It does make me feel like some weird anomoly.


I think they feel guilty for ordering the blooming onion and artichoke dip!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

arewethereyet

I have wondered about the muscle/fat thing. When I say I was down to 102#, I was doing aerobics but not much strength training and this time I am. I want to still have bones when I am 80! :laugh:

Also, I agree, I don't think we do know what a healthy body looks like. In our society we see a lot of either super-model thin or obese. Neither are healthy.

Thanks again!!

my trainer is petite........tiny really......but when I saw her push up 700 pounds on the weight bench my eyes popped outta my head. She is 5"2" and weighs close to 130 is all she would tell me ........not an ounce of fat on her body and she is HOT.

arewethereyet

Agree about going out with friends...It does make me feel like some weird anomoly.


I think they feel guilty for ordering the blooming onion and artichoke dip!:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

I walked into the lunch room once and everyone turned their styrofoam containers away from me!!!!:laugh:

I, being who I am, walked right up and asked what was for lunch. Was offered a chicken tender, accpeted 1/2 and never had the problem again:flowerforyou:

DeeDeeLHF

Arewethereyet:...How did you find out your body fat/lean muscle?

DeeDeeLHF

I think that is a perfectly reasonable goal! My goal is 135 and I'm 5'4. My husband thinks THAT is way too small. I think it's just because when we met I was in the mid 160's and he isn't used to the idea of me being that size. He's already told me he doesn't want me to lose too much more. He said he doesn't want other guys paying attention to me. :laugh: Seriously he is a good guy. I had a talk with him about how I REALLY need his support and encouragement in this...not DIScouragement! It's hard and I really want this.

I think people just get used to us being a certain way. If you'd always been 115, they wouldn't think a thing about it. My sister lost about 80 pounds and the same thing happened to her. People kept telling her she was getting too skinny the last 20-25 pounds. I know I want to get small enough that if I gain 5 pounds back, I'm not suddenly "fat" again, but that I can work to get it back off. I like to get low enough that I have some wiggle room!

Good luck. Shut those people out and focus on your goals. You are DOING AWESOME! Focus on being healthy. Your doctor won't tell you that you are getting too skinny. You have a very HEALTHY goal.

Susan


Created by MyFitnessPal.com - Free Calorie Chart

Susan,
I think that you are right. If I had never gained the weight it wouldn't be an issue. It might just take time for people to get used to it.

You know what is fun? When your adult boys hug you and say, "wow, mom you are little!"

iojoi

[/quote]

my trainer is petite........tiny really......but when I saw her push up 700 pounds on the weight bench my eyes popped outta my head. She is 5"2" and weighs close to 130 is all she would tell me ........not an ounce of fat on her body and she is HOT.
[/quote]

your post made lol as it took me back to the days when I passed out at the gym and my trainer also 5ft 2"
picked me up 5ft 7" sweaty and floppy and at the time about 28 lbs over weight like I was nothing :laugh:

arewethereyet

Arewethereyet:...How did you find out your body fat/lean muscle?

a trainer used calipers to determine it. I know some colleges/unis offer fat testing for free or nominal fee for their students to practice.

I am setting up an appt with FAU to go into a bod pod.......whould be interesting:flowerforyou:

arewethereyet

my trainer is petite........tiny really......but when I saw her push up 700 pounds on the weight bench my eyes popped outta my head. She is 5"2" and weighs close to 130 is all she would tell me ........not an ounce of fat on her body and she is HOT.
[/quote]

your post made lol as it took me back to the days when I passed out at the gym and my trainer also 5ft 2"
picked me up 5ft 7" sweaty and floppy and at the time about 28 lbs over weight like I was nothing :laugh:
[/quote]

:laugh:

Azdak

Arewethereyet:...How did you find out your body fat/lean muscle?

At your current size, someone who is competent with skinfold calipers should be able to give you a pretty accurate estimation. The key word is "competent", since it has been my experience that even a lot of degreed trainers, etc, don't have the experience (or sometime the common sense) to measure and interpret the results correctly.

There are also scales that use bioelectric impedance to estimate body fat. In my experience, they are not as accurate and you have to be careful to establish consistent conditions of hydration or else you get highly varied readings.

arewethereyet

Arewethereyet:...How did you find out your body fat/lean muscle?

OH I just thought of something.

If you belong to a gym tell them you are thinking about getting a trainer and would like to know your body fat...................or set up an appt for a walk thru and discussion at a new gym. Tell them you would like to know your body fat % on THIS visit.

DeeDeeLHF

I belong to our local YMCA and I will ask them today if they offer this. I'd really like to know.

Thanks!

DeeDeeLHF

my trainer is petite........tiny really......but when I saw her push up 700 pounds on the weight bench my eyes popped outta my head. She is 5"2" and weighs close to 130 is all she would tell me ........not an ounce of fat on her body and she is HOT.
[/quote]

your post made lol as it took me back to the days when I passed out at the gym and my trainer also 5ft 2"
picked me up 5ft 7" sweaty and floppy and at the time about 28 lbs over weight like I was nothing :laugh:
[/quote]


WoW!! See, I want to be that person!!!

twallwork

oh I hear it all the time time...even from people who are smaller than I am.....it's hard to take it as a compliment though because It usually comes along with "you're looking gaunt" ...... and the silly thing is, I'm 145, not even trying to lose anymore weight....I've been maintaining for a few months and working on body building....so how the heck if I am gaining muscle do I look gaunt? I guess its just a difference from seeing the pumpkin-face I used to have, LOL....I just hope they all get used to it soon !

Shanta1983

OMG I hate that when I tell people how much Ive lost and I have 34lbs to go they say no you look great just like that ugh....Thats fustrates me:grumble: :grumble: :grumble: :mad:

debmac63

Yep, heard it and ignore it. My goal is in the middle of my healthy weight range and I aim to make it. Nobody thought I was too thin when I weighed 135, why should it be too thin now? Keep up the good work, we'll get there!

imastar512

I agree, my family thinks i shouldnt lose any weight because I look ok, for having 3 kids. I am doing this for myself and no one else. I dont want to lose wieght just to look good but for Health factors as well. I want to avoid all the diseases out there or lower my chances of getting some of them by eating right and working out. I even encourage my kids to excersise and stay healthy.

imastar512

I agree, my family thinks i shouldnt lose any weight because I look ok, for having 3 kids. I am doing this for myself and no one else. I dont want to lose wieght just to look good but for Health factors as well. I want to avoid all the diseases out there or lower my chances of getting some of them by eating right and working out. I even encourage my kids to excersise and stay healthy.