Scared to eat more

wattssal000

Well I have dealt with eating issues for the past 14+ years from anorexia to binge eating, being at a super low weight to being super overweight. I am now kind of in the middle not fat really but always wanting to be a little smaller. 5'4" and maybe around 140-145. I have found it is best for me not to weigh as it causes too much distress, does more harm than good.

I have been using fitness pal off and on and I don't eat even 1200 when I am logging and I do exercise as well. I have issues with binge eating so after a big binge or a multiple day binge I don't know how else to eat but to restrict. It is hard for me to get clost to 1200 and then not go over or feel like that is too much.

Like I said I don't use the scale as it causes too many mental issues for me. I really want to step on the scale just so I have something to measure by but again I know I shouldn't. So the only thing I know is how my clothes fit and just knowing I feel physically better when I eat better.

I worry that I am not eating enough and that I am causing myself to not lose weight even though my deficits with food and exercise would say that I should be losing. I am trying to go for 12 days binge free this time, I am only on day two but maybe if I can do that I will see something in the mirror.

Any comments or suggestions?

Thanks

AnninStPaul

I don't have the experience or background to help you; but there are specific ED boards on this site.

I wish you health and happiness, and congratulate you on being able to identify your triggers.

iLoveMyPitbull1225

I think my suggestion is relax try not to worry about it so much. congrats on making it to day two as well. If you know it causes you distress to weigh, dont make things worse for yourself.

I am of similar body type to you, 5'4 and I started here at about 150. I believe that 1200 is a minimum set my mfp for weight loss. I would try to eat at least that. It will help you lose as opposed to not eating enough...I have read that this slows your metabolism down.

I also like the idea of setting a goal for yourself, the 12 day thing. This is a good way to help you gain some confidence and know that you really can do it. little victories are great.

psuLemon

Well since you are normal weight, you should aim for 1/2 lb per week max. As you approach your goals, you need to eat more as your body has less fat stores. Now if your concern is how you look/fit in clothes, then you might want to start heavy weight training and minimize cardio so you can cut fat. Generally, we suggest figuring out your TDEE and cutting 20%. Where TDEE is all the calories you burn in a day through metabolic functions, daily routine and exercise. Most women I work with are around 1800-2200 calories while weight training 3-4 days a week with 1-2 days worth of HIIT.

My best advice, you should stop logging calories and work on getting into a healthy routine eating the right types of food.

Drakonna

I think 12 days sounds like a lot, personally. I'd take it day by day and just focus on the "now". Everyday you reach your goal will be a victory. As the saying posted at my work goes, " We all are trying to accomplish great things not knowing great things are made up of smaller victories."

Maridar

I realized not long ago that my eating is emotional. I know lots of stuff around on the topic, etc. etc. but as an individual I was only able to understand it now. I don't know why exactly, I was too lazy or afraid to stop and think or refused to acknowledge it. Now I know when I am upset emotionally, I am in the kitchen, grabbing something to eat. I am trying and doing quite well controlling it now though have not given up on alcohol yet, still like to have a drink to relax.
Congrats on doing well now, I did not write a diary to observe myself:) it just got to me one day after a looooong period of time of hearing and reading about the reasons for overeating and binging.
One possible solution I could suggest is a creative hobby of some sorts, drawing, singing, dancing, writing..

wattssal000

Thank you everyone for the support. I guess I do know that I should be eating more despite the days I have binges there is just so much preprogramming that less is more in regards to calories and weight etc. It really is sad how much emphasis is put onto looks in our society but I guess I have fallen victim to it as well like so many others.

This is a constant battle and I do take one day at a time but I just love to eat so much and sometimes I just lose control.

I also do know that I need more hobbies, this has been something I have known for a long time, I just have issues being motivated when I am alone. I just like to be with people

janemem

Hi, I'm like you in as much as I have had periods of varying ED's for the past 22 years. I am now at a state of battling the strong urge to just keep losing even though I know I need to gain a little (to look healthier) and to really re-think my whole mega low fat/low carb/low calorie routine but it's too scary at the moment. The thought of gaining any more than 2 or 3lb (which I know I can lose superfast) is too frightening for me sometimes.
I'm confused by your post, are you still trying to lose weight or to maintain?
If you are struggling to eat 1200 and you are exercising on top I would say you are not eating enough (for weight loss or maintenance).
Before starting on MFP I'd have freaked totally (and purged) if my caloric intake was anywhere near 1200 but now I am really trying so hard to make sure I net somewhere near that (although I prefer to net around 7-800).
If you eat too little you won't lose, gain or maintain. You need to increase your intake dependant on your goal.
You're doing really well not going near a scale, my life is run by the blooming thing, lol! As long as your clothes feel good (not too loose or too tight) then you're fabulous.
Each Sunday I have a 'free' day where I still log everything (brutally honestly) but I really just don't care how far I go over, to be honest. Then on a Monday my inner anorexic screams at me to starve for days on end but since learning more about diet and nutrition on here I have come to realise that as long as I just go back to normal on Monday and exercise a bit more for a couple of days it all balances out and at the end of the week I'll have still lost weight.
Do you binge because you feel that you've eaten too much already so you may as well then just go for everything you've been craving, or everything that's been calling you from the fridge/cupboard? If you try to factor treats into your 1200 then maybe you won't want the 'forbidden' foods so much? Or allow yourself a 'free' meal/day and make a supreme effort not to over compensate afterwards?
Please feel free to add me and good luck with your 12 day quest, I'd really love to hear in 10 days time that you achieved it. I know you can do it! :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

KeisterBunny

Keep concentrating on the that feeling of feeling good. It bothers me too when I step on the scale. I stress when I don't see change or I see a negative change. I have my binge days, and feel poorly after I binge. (5'3" 223 lbs) I am trying hard, but see little change most of the time. One suggestion I have is to eat more often, but in small amounts. I do breakfast, lunch and dinner, with a mid morning snack and an afternoon snack.