Friend comment

Lady_Bane

She' could afraid you'll get hotter than her. People don't want the fat friend to lose weight because they feel better next to you in comparison right now, but I'd hope your friend isn't that shallow. Do what's best for you and if she doesn't like it, phoooey on her.

this

GiGiBeans

Ask her exactly what she is concerned about. She would know better than any of us would.

joselo2

Thank you all! To be clear, I am a man, and I weigh about 400lbs. My friend is a woman who weighs about 100lbs. I don't understand it. I hope I don't change when I lose weight, I think I will not, maybe she needs to know this.

emmab852012

shes just jealous! she probably hates something about themselves that they arent ready to change so they are jealous you are doing something about yourself!

NamibianRose

Thank you all! To be clear, I am a man, and I weigh about 400lbs. My friend is a woman who weighs about 100lbs. I don't understand it. I hope I don't change when I lose weight, I think I will not, maybe she needs to know this.

Maybe she feels you'll lose the weight, find a girlfriend and not be her friend anymore? Or not be as close of a friend anymore? Either way, no offense to your friend, but her comment was very selfish.

thrld

My friend just said she doesn't think I should lose much weight because 'it won't be the same' if I am slim. I don't know what to think, maybe she worries I will change as a person... has anyone ever lost friends from losing weight? I do not want it to happen to me! Confused

I think you should ask her about this comment (in a kind manner). Say "I've been thinking about what you said, and I was wondering what you meant -- what won't be the same.?"

Then listen.

You may need to remind her that you are not changing personalities, and that it will be a challenge, but one you want to take, and that you may need encouragement and support from time to time, but know you can do it with her help.
{by asking her for support, it gives her a role in your new life as well as letting her know your expectations of her as a friend. it seems to me that a lot of friends feel 'left behind' or unneeded when their pal starts working out, or they just don't know what to do/say because this a part of the pals world they know nothing about, and maybe can't see beyond their own envy}

gwenmf

It's about making yourself happy, not anyone else. If your friend isn't supportive of you trying to get healthy, find a new friend.

Exactly this. Friends get nervous and sometimes jealous......but if this is a true friend, they'll only want what's best for you

beckajw

My friend just said she doesn't think I should lose much weight because 'it won't be the same' if I am slim. I don't know what to think, maybe she worries I will change as a person... has anyone ever lost friends from losing weight? I do not want it to happen to me! Confused

My friends all congratulated me and told me how much better I looked. If she's really your friend, she'll support you.

vryanz

Maybe, since you are heavy, she feels 'safe' being your friend. Maybe she feels that if you lose the weight, you won't be able to maintain a platonic relationship. Like women who are friends with gay guys, lots of women feel safe being friends with heavy men- Because they may not be sexually attracted to heavy guys, they feel no pressure in the relationship. They are easily able to maintain 'just friends'.
Anyway, just another perspective to think about.
And, as selfish as it may seem, it does sound like she values your friendship.