Afraid to loose weight

uzit_13

I'm 5'2, 188 and my ideal weight would be 120-130. However, as long as I can remember, I've been afraid of dipping below 160. I've always had pretty friends and they can't walk down the street with out someone making a comment about their look (hey hottie, sexy!, hot!, etc.) even when they were 13 yrs old!!!! I remember being glad that wasn't me and I don't ever want that to be me. Imagine not being able to go anywhere without ppl commenting on the way you look!! How horrible is that?

I know this must sound absurd, but is anyone else afraid of loosing weight? I know it's a must for health reasons, but I don't want the attention I'm afraid it'll bring.

sjeagle30

umm no. Positive attention is a good thing as long as you dont act on it.

myfitnessnmhoy

If you're afraid of unwelcome attention, just pick really frumpy clothes that conceal everything. Don't let your worries about unwelcome attention keep you from living longer.

ElizabethRoad

Honestly, it can be pretty annoying, but you get used to it. And think of it this way - if you lose some weight and regret it, you can always gain it back again.

caraiselite

i'd rather lose weight than loose it :laugh:

sorry, had to.



um, i wouldn't worry about 'comments'

i'm really self conscious in social settings and my mom always tells me that the world doesn't revolve around me.. and not to worry. people don't care. it's true.
don't worry about any attention you think you might get.

MrsFolk

I think using that as an excuse is absurd (no offense). People will talk about overweight people just as much if not more than thinner people. They just don't say it to your face. It's essential to be HEALTHY.

diannethegeek

I don't think it sounds absurd at all. One thing I discovered as I started dieting was that I was wearing my extra weight as a shield against unwanted attention (or, in my case, any attention at all). I don't know if there's any particular way to get past it other than to lose the weight and see what happens. Remember, you can always gain the weight back if you feel like it (and probably a dozen people will jump on me for that one, but I stand by it!).

Mina133842

it's not an absurd excuse. I know most people would find it baffling, however, if you've ever been the victim of a sexual assault, you build up walls around yourself, and that can include gaining weight as a "barrier" if you will (be it subconsciously or not)- anything to make an assault not happen again - so you may even find a way to make yourself "unattractive." Now, I'm not saying that this person has done this, or been a survivor of an assault, but just saying people often have fears and sometimes unwanted attention is VERY scary to people. My husband has a social anxiety disorder, and is scared to death of people noticing him, so it just depends on the individual's perception of how the attention is given/received, and also their reaction to it. Just offering another view on this- as someone with friends/family members that are survivors of sexual assault.

uzit_13

If you're afraid of unwelcome attention, just pick really frumpy clothes that conceal everything. Don't let your worries about unwelcome attention keep you from living longer.

Frumpy clothes! A healthy, excellent suggestion!!!! LOL :laugh:

bcattoes

You will learn to ignore the remarks. There are idiots everywhere but you shouldn't let them rule your life or ruin your health.

uzit_13

it's not an absurd excuse. I know most people would find it baffling, however, if you've ever been the victim of a sexual assault, you build up walls around yourself, and that can include gaining weight as a "barrier" if you will (be it subconsciously or not)- anything to make an assault not happen again - so you may even find a way to make yourself "unattractive." Now, I'm not saying that this person has done this, or been a survivor of an assault, but just saying people often have fears and sometimes unwanted attention is VERY scary to people. My husband has a social anxiety disorder, and is scared to death of people noticing him, so it just depends on the individual's perception of how the attention is given/received, and also their reaction to it. Just offering another view on this- as someone with friends/family members that are survivors of sexual assault.

I wasn't sexually assaulted but the childhood friends that I'm referring to were sexually abused by their father, step-father and by a family friend. It's like they couldn't escape it. However, they and another friend of mine who was also sexually assaulted never gained weight as a form of barrier and seem happy with their body shapes (they can all fit into anything!)

I know I use my weight as a barrier against attention but I'm not sure why.

auroranflash

Honestly, it can be pretty annoying, but you get used to it. And think of it this way - if you lose some weight and regret it, you can always gain it back again.

:laugh: Yeah, that last part is pretty easy.

mdj1501

it's not an absurd excuse. I know most people would find it baffling, however, if you've ever been the victim of a sexual assault, you build up walls around yourself, and that can include gaining weight as a "barrier" if you will (be it subconsciously or not)- anything to make an assault not happen again - so you may even find a way to make yourself "unattractive." Now, I'm not saying that this person has done this, or been a survivor of an assault, but just saying people often have fears and sometimes unwanted attention is VERY scary to people. My husband has a social anxiety disorder, and is scared to death of people noticing him, so it just depends on the individual's perception of how the attention is given/received, and also their reaction to it. Just offering another view on this- as someone with friends/family members that are survivors of sexual assault.

THIS^^ Good luck, and try to focus on being healthy.

jugar

I know what you mean -- I had such a weird, vague feeling of unease with the idea of shedding the weight that I never really knew what I was afraid of. The "unwanted attention" is one fairly easy reason, but there are others deep inside. I had tried to lose weight many times, and it is only this last time (since December) when I decided to "take no prisoners". I made a hard and fast rule to exercise every day and to track through MFP every day, but I added journal exercises, some discussions with a psychologist (I only went a few times, but it sure helped) and continuing questioning as I have lost the weight to see where the fear is, what is going on, and how I feel. There has been no unwanted attention. There has been a slowly growing happiness about how good it feels to move, and a growing enjoyment of wearing nice (not frumpy, but certainly not outrageous!) clothes that fit well. Nothing bad has happened. There are still some fears, but I think they are not really about weight or body or how I look.

If you don't think counselling is for you, there are some good web resources like Linda Spangle (weightlossjoy.com) that can help work on the background to why we use weight and what good stuff we get from it. It's hard to lose something we feel like we need -- that stopped me for a long time.

You'll get there if you keep exploring the why -- good luck!

uzit_13

Such excellent advice and suggestions. Lots to think about!

namastefromca

You are NOT alone!!! I will write again soon as on my cell phone. I was googling "my subconscious afraid to lose weight" and your comment feed came up. I love that you said, "I'm not sure why". You are candid and vulnerable and willing to be curios and dig deeper. For me with this life long issue it's not about forcing my body into submission but more about peeling away layers that only I can peel...hardest thing I've ever done. And that's just my path. No one need judge...it is what it is. Besides, there are people with under 30% body fat, fit as a fiddle, perhaps the envy of many but it doesn't guarantee health on all levels (a lot of thin people have health problems too) or happiness. The important thing is you are questioning...that you're brave enough to risk looking foolish (which you don't by the way so please keep in mind when others say that you're feelings are crazy or an excuse) and you are initiating change. Cheers to you, and thank you.